What is conflict: concept, classification, stages

Greetings, friends!

There are probably no relationships in which it would be possible to completely avoid conflict situations. People come into conflicts everywhere: on the road, in the store, at work, at home. Even the closest people at least occasionally conflict with each other, emotionally sorting things out and trying to prove that they are right. There is no way to avoid this. But if you understand the nature of conflicts well, you can significantly reduce their number and minimize negative consequences. Today we will analyze in detail what conflict is, why they arise, what they are, how to competently prevent and stop them. Let's begin.

Content

1. Social and psychological prerequisites and features of conflicts in business communication. Conflict as a psychologically conscious clash of opposing interests, goals, attitudes, and motives of business partners. Typology of conflicts: interpersonal, intrapersonal, intergroup conflict 3

1.1. Typology of conflicts 4

1.2. Intrapersonal conflict 5

1.3. Interpersonal conflict 6

1.4. Intergroup conflict 7

2. Stages of formation and progression of conflicts in Business communication, conflict structure: object of the conflict situation; goals and participants in the conflict; causes of conflict, reason. 10

2.1. Participants in the conflict 11

2.2. Causes of the conflict, reason 14

Practice 16

References 18

1.1. Typology of conflicts

We will not consider the typology of “conflicts” within the framework of inanimate nature, the division of conflicts into biological and social, human and natural. We will talk about conflict in its own, “narrow” sense of the word, i.e. about conflicts that arise in the process of human activity and human behavior, about conflicts that represent a special quality of interaction between people or between various elements of the internal structure of the individual himself.

However, even in this case, bearing in mind only human interaction, it is not possible to give any complete typology of conflicts. This is because there is a huge variety of actors, attitudes, goals, motives, areas, types, systems and levels, time frames and human interactions, each of which can form the basis of a typology of conflicts. One of the broadest and most obvious grounds for classifying conflicts is their division by subjects, or parties to the conflict. From this point of view, all conflicts are divided into:

1) intrapersonal,

2) interpersonal,

3) intergroup,

4) between the individual and the group.

Rules for conflict-free communication

We should start with the simple basics on which this type of communication is built. They are as follows:

Decency

It means a polite attitude towards any person, regardless of his wealth, personal qualities, appearance, knowledge, nationality and social status. Attention to the individuality of the interlocutor. It means building a dialogue on the principle of mutual respect and cooperation. Tolerance

It is impossible to violate the norms of communication and the humanistic orientation of the conversation. Nobility and tolerance. Communication takes place “as equals”. Any factors that could allow one interlocutor to show superiority over the opponent are excluded. Arrogance is also not allowed, and any potential conflicts are avoided. Mercy. The participants in the conversation are who they are and this must be accepted. If a person comes to talk about his problems, he needs to be listened to and shown compassion. It must be sincere. Denial of violence. The conversation should proceed without insulting or humiliating the interlocutor or anyone around.

These are the main principles of conflict-free communication that must be observed.

1.2. Intrapersonal conflict

Intrapersonal conflict is a state of a person’s dissatisfaction with any circumstances of his life, associated with the presence of conflicting interests, aspirations, and needs that give rise to affects and stress.

Here, the participants in the conflict are not people, but various psychological factors of the inner world of the individual, which often seem or are incompatible: needs, motives, values, feelings, etc. “Two souls live in my chest...” wrote Goethe. And this conflict can be functional or dysfunctional, depending on how and what decision a person makes and whether he makes it at all. Buridanov's donkey, for example, could not choose one of two completely identical armfuls of hay, thereby dooming himself to starvation. Sometimes in life, not daring to make a choice, not knowing how to resolve intrapersonal conflicts, we become like Buridan’s donkey [7].

Intrapersonal conflicts associated with working in an organization can take various forms. One of the most common is role conflict, when a person’s different roles make conflicting demands on him. For example, being a good family man (the role of father, mother, husband, wife, etc.), a person should spend evenings at home, and his position as a manager may oblige him to stay late at work. Or the head of a section in a bookstore gave instructions to the seller to arrange books in a certain way, and at the same time the merchandiser ordered to take stock of the availability and condition of a certain category of literature. The cause of the first conflict is a mismatch between personal needs and production requirements, and the second is a violation of the principle of unity of command. Internal conflicts can arise in production due to work overload or, conversely, lack of work when it is necessary to be at the workplace.

Introduction

The need for communication, according to psychologists, is one of the basic (basic) human needs. The importance of communication as a basic need is determined by the fact that “it dictates the behavior of people with no less power than, for example, the so-called vital (life) needs.”

Communication is a necessary condition for the normal development of a person as a member of society and as an individual, a condition for his spiritual and physical health. Various sciences study various aspects of communication: philosophy and psychiatry, psychology and ethology, sociology and computer science. Each of them puts its own content into the concept of “communication”.

Although human communication has always been the basis of people’s social existence, it became a direct object of psychological and socio-psychological analysis only in the 20th century. In psychology, communication is defined as the interaction of two or more people, consisting in the exchange of information between them of a cognitive or affective-evaluative (i.e., emotional-evaluative) nature.

In this paper we will consider the concept of communication, as well as the features of conflicts in psychology.

Conflicts arise in almost all spheres of human life. The role of conflicts and their regulation in modern society is so great that in the second half of the 20th century. a special field of knowledge emerged - conflictology. Sociology, philosophy, political science and, of course, psychology made a great contribution to its development. Observations show that 80% of conflicts arise beyond the wishes of their participants. This happens due to the characteristics of our psyche and the fact that most people either do not know about them or do not attach importance to them. The work consists of an introduction, main part, conclusion and bibliography.

1. The concept of “communication” in modern psychology

Communication is the process of information exchange and interaction between people based on people's perceptions and understanding of each other.

This definition of communication allows us to consider the structure and highlight the functions of communication.

Communication is composed of 3 main components (communication structure):

. Exchange of information is the communicative side of communication.

. Interaction and mutual influence are the interactive side of communication.

. People's perception and understanding of each other is the perceptual side of communication.

Analysis of the structure of communication allows us to identify the main functions of communication: information and communication function; regulatory communicative function; affective-communicative function.

The affective-communicative (perceptual) function, which is based on the perception and understanding of another person, including a communication partner, is aimed at regulating the emotional sphere of the human psyche, since communication is the most important determinant of a person’s emotional states. The entire spectrum of specifically human emotions arises and develops in the conditions of human communication - either a rapprochement of emotional states occurs, or their polarization, mutual strengthening or weakening.

The information and communication function of communication consists of any type of exchange of information between interacting individuals. The exchange of information in human communication has its own specifics: it is carried out between two individuals, each of whom is an active subject; it necessarily involves the interaction of thoughts, feelings and behavior of partners.

The regulatory-communicative (interactive) function of communication is to regulate behavior and directly organize the joint activities of people in the process of their interaction. In this process, a person can influence motives, goals, programs, decision-making, execution and control of actions, i.e. on all components of their partner’s activities, including mutual stimulation and behavior correction.

Communication is the basis, a necessary condition for normal life and personality formation, since in the process of communication all basic social needs of a person are satisfied:

in social connections with other people (belonging to a group);

need for affection;

in importance or self-affirmation;

in social reference points and objects of imitation;

in self-awareness, in self-esteem.

Depending on the communication technique used and communication goals, the following types can be distinguished:

. “Mask contact” is formal communication in which there is no desire to understand and take into account the personality characteristics of the interlocutor. This process of communication got its name because in the process of communication the usual masks of politeness, severity, indifference, sympathy, etc. are used, that is, a set of facial expressions, gestures, standard phrases that help hide the attitude towards the interlocutor. In some situations, mask contact is necessary to avoid personal contact.

. Formal-role communication, in which both the content and means of communication are regulated by the social roles of communication partners: doctor and patient, policeman and traffic violator, controller and bus passengers, etc.

. Social communication, defined by formal politeness. Its peculiarity is that people do not actually communicate, they say not what they think, but what is supposed to be said in such cases. Their points of view on a particular issue have no meaning and do not determine the nature of communications. Secular communication is ritualized in nature.

. Manipulative communication aimed at obtaining one-sided benefits from an interview using manipulative techniques of influencing a communication partner (flattery, deception, demonstration of strength, demonstration of weakness, demonstration of kindness, “showing off”, intimidation, etc.).

. Spiritual interpersonal communication between people, in which the deep structures of personality are revealed. Such communication is possible when each participant has an image of the interlocutor, knows his personality, and can anticipate his reactions, interests, beliefs, and attitudes. It is characterized by mutual understanding between people, and it is based on trust in the personality of the interlocutor, when any topic can be touched upon.

. Business communication, when the personality, character, age, and mood of the interlocutor are taken into account, but the interests of the business are more significant than possible personal differences, therefore it is aimed at coordinating and combining efforts in order to establish relationships and achieve a common result.

. Primitive communication, when they evaluate another person as a necessary or interfering object: if necessary, they actively come into contact, if it interferes, they will push away or aggressive rude remarks will follow.

The importance of communication in an individual’s life is most clearly manifested in 3 critical situations:

. Lack of communication (“Mowgli”), the consequence of this may be personality degradation and sudden irreversible delays in psychological development.

. A lack of communication (especially intellectual or friendly), as a result, as compensation - behavioral deviations: alcohol, drugs, auto-communication (communication with oneself), excessive talkativeness, affection, personification (communication with inanimate objects and animals), religiosity (communication with God replaces communication with a person).

. disharmonious communication (frequent conflicts, quarrels, dissatisfaction with your partner, hence stress and psychological diseases: neuroses; cardiovascular diseases, ulcers, etc.; suicide is possible).

conflict personality communication

2. Conflicts in communication

.1 Conflicts and the role of conflict in communication

In psychology, conflict is defined as “a clash of oppositely directed, mutually incompatible tendencies in the consciousness of an individual, in interpersonal interactions or interpersonal relationships of individuals or groups of people, associated with negative emotional experiences.”

As follows from the definition, the basis of conflict situations is a clash between opposing interests, opinions, goals, and different ideas about how to achieve them. Conflict is a difficult to resolve contradiction that has arisen between people and is associated with acute emotional experiences and conflict situations.

Conflicts arise among people all the time, i.e. conflicts are inevitable, but you must be able to behave in a conflict situation. Psychologists are developing recommendations for avoiding conflict.

The significance of conflict for maintaining interpersonal relationships, for communication, as well as the role of conflict in communication is ambiguous, since it depends on its consequences. All conflicts, depending on their outcome, are divided into 2 groups:

. Functional, constructive, when the problem is solved, relationships are restored, i.e. Conflict has a positive effect on maintaining relationships.

. Dysfunctional - lead to a breakdown in relationships; they (if a solution cannot be found) become tense, up to a complete break.

The assessment of the conflict also depends on the person’s position in the conflict:

a) winner - for him this is an increase in self-esteem, a positive emotional mood;

b) defeated - for him this means a decrease in self-esteem, infringement of self-esteem, there may be resentment, which can lead to stress and poor health (mental and somatic illnesses as a result of stress).

2.2 Types of conflicts

Main types of conflicts: intrapersonal; interpersonal; intergroup; conflict between the individual and the group.

Intrapersonal conflict is caused by various psychological factors in the inner world of the individual, which often seem OR ARE incompatible: an open clash of opinions and needs, interests, positions of the parties, desires, feelings, values, motives, etc. Depending on which internal aspects of the personality come into conflict, the following forms are distinguished: motivational, moral, unfulfilled desire, role, adaptation, inadequate self-esteem.

A conflict between an individual and a group arises when a group member deviates from the established norms of behavior and work in the group. Another common conflict of this type is between the group and the leader. Such conflicts occur most acutely when the leadership style is inappropriate to the level of maturity of the team, due to a discrepancy between the competence of the manager and specialists, and due to rejection of the moral character and character of the manager.

Intergroup conflict arises between different (formal and informal) groups in an organization, between higher and lower levels of management.

Interpersonal conflict is a clash between people due to the incompatibility of their interests, values, and personal qualities. Interpersonal conflicts (like all other conflicts) differ from each other: in depth, in duration, in frequency, in the nature of their manifestation in real behavior.

The depth of the conflict is determined by the subject of the contradiction (the reason that caused the conflict), the degree of involvement of the individual in the conflict. In terms of depth, conflicts are: a) deep (betrayal); b) shallow/superficial (claims);

The duration of the conflict, in turn, depends on the subject of the conflict and the nature of the partners. Example: suspicious, “paranoid” people tend to see a catch and malicious intent in everything, as a result of which the conflict becomes protracted. According to their duration, conflicts are: a) protracted; b) short-term.

The frequency of conflict can negatively affect the depth and duration: frequent conflicts over trifles, while dissatisfaction with each other accumulates, the conflict becomes deep and long-lasting. According to frequency, conflicts are: a) frequent; b) rare.

Depending on how the conflict manifests itself in behavior and whether it manifests itself at all, conflicts are distinguished: a) hidden (“mental”); b) obvious (scandal “straight to the forehead”).

Hidden conflicts are disagreement on various occasions, failure to express it out loud, while relationships become more tense, because dissatisfaction with each other, not openly expressed, still manifests itself in behavior (distance, facial expressions, gestures of a partner reveal his true attitude and cause mutual hidden antipathy, which can “break through” under any suitable pretext and lead to open confrontation.

2.3 Main causes of the conflict

The causes of interpersonal conflicts are very different. They can be divided into two groups: 1) objective; 2) subjective.

Objective - that is, not connected in any way with the psychological characteristics of the people involved in the conflict - this is how the situation developed. These are objective circumstances that predispose to the emergence of contradictions and clashes, independent of which people find themselves in this situation:

. Violation of the principle of distributive justice.

. Violation of the delegation process is the lack of a clear distribution of responsibilities between interacting people.

. Interconnectedness between people - that is, the performance of one person's work depends on the performance of another person's work.

. Limited resources (single and indivisible object of claims). Example: summer vacation is not possible for all employees.

. Inconsistency with role expectations. The behavior of one partner does not correspond to his role in the other’s perception. Example: in a family, when responsibilities are divided into male and female, quarrels are inevitable.

. Violation of communications (transfer of information, instructions, etc.).

Objective reasons (unfavorable circumstances) arise in the activities and communication of people and create the potential for a conflict to arise, which becomes reality only in combination with subjective factors, manifested in the fact that people selectively react to an objectively current situation.

Subjective - connection with the psychological characteristics of communicating people:

. Differences in psychological qualities (character traits, temperament) and intolerance to these differences (psychological incompatibility, hence ==> conflict). So, for example, a choleric person irritates a phlegmatic person and vice versa.

. Differences in value systems and behavior patterns.

. Inability to understand another person, inability to communicate, lack of communication skills.

. Personality conflict is the main reason:

A situational-conflict personality is a person who displays a predisposition to conflict under the influence of situational factors. This conflict is determined by a person’s temporary state: fatigue, dissatisfaction with oneself, resentment. It is under the influence of situational factors that a usually self-possessed person in a state of extreme overstrain becomes hot-tempered, irritable, harsh, and capable of aggravating relationships.

A constantly conflicting personality enters into conflict constantly, regardless of situations. Determined by character type in combination with temperament. Differs in a stable tendency to respond to conflicts. Types of constant conflict personality (due to characterological characteristics):

. Demonstrative personality (hysterical) - the desire to attract attention. For them, conflict is a means to attract attention. They enjoy conflict. Conflict is their element. A demonstrative personality often provokes emotional rather than rational conflict.

The main feature of a demonstrative personality is egocentrism + high self-esteem + ambition, and they interpret the lack of attention to themselves as a hostile attitude towards them, as a personal insult.

. Rigid personality (inflexible, inert person) is a person’s inability to accept someone else’s point of view and give up his own opinion. Increased straightforwardness, stubbornness, lack of flexibility, and as a result, conflict. Such a person will stand his ground and be ambitious. This is a “viscous” epileptoid. In a situation of conflict, a rigid personality displays painful sensitivity, suspicion, and increased sensitivity to real or imaginary injustice.

. Impulsive personality (uncontrollable) - does not analyze a conflict situation, does not try to find a way out of the situation, does not calculate actions, acts as it comes to mind. Impulsivity is characterized by low self-control, emotional incontinence, and behavior that offends another person. High ambition. This is a hyperthymic, “explosive”, angry type - the most aggressive personality.

. A pedantic, punctual, extremely precise person is a conscientious, responsible person in his own right. He makes the same demands on others, he is considered picky, so a conflict arises. This is a psychasthenic type (constitutionally anxious): diligence, pedantry, increased anxiety, he himself suffers from the conflict, and not others. Touchy, anxious. Very often he hides the resentment within himself and experiences it inside.

. A conflict-free personality - strives to please everyone. A conformist person moves away from conflict or avoids it, but the desire to escape from the problem causes dissatisfaction in others, resulting in conflict.

Conflict is a property that prevents a person from adapting to his social environment. Conflict, which has become a personality trait (constantly conflicting personality), is difficult to overcome with rational self-control or educational influence. Conflict is not only and not so much a fault, but also a misfortune for such a person. It is better to treat her (although this is difficult) tolerantly and philosophically (he “yells” - therefore, he is worthy of pity).

2.4 Conflict management: methods of prevention and resolution

Basic ways to manage conflict:

. Eliminating it, or preventing a conflict situation.

. Conflict resolution.

Eliminating conflict means replacing the situation that gave rise to the conflict. Resolving a conflict means changing the behavior of one or both parties to the conflict. Basic ways to resolve conflict:

eliminate the conflict, therefore, eliminate the objective cause of the conflict;

isolation of one of the conflicting parties. Example: in the event of a conflict between a student and a teacher, the student may be transferred to another class.

Basic ways to resolve conflict:

. Withdrawal (or avoidance of conflict). A person’s desire is not just not to get into a conflict situation, but also a refusal to discuss the problem that has arisen. Walking away is simply postponing conflict, not resolving it. Walking away allows both parties to analyze the situation and avoid an open confrontation.

Evasion occurs when they want to preserve the relationship or when the subject of the conflict is not significant and does not affect the direct interests of the parties. Both sides can avoid the conflict, for example: a wife finds out about her husband’s infidelity, but remains silent. It can have both negative aspects: dissatisfaction with each other accumulates, and positive aspects: the conflicting party cools down.

. Smoothing is a demonstration of humility, agreement with the claim being made, but the “smoother” does not delve into the essence of the problem, does not try to understand the subject of the conflict, because he is not going to fulfill his promises, he appeals to the need for solidarity (“don’t be angry, we love each other so much friend”, “we are all one team”), as a result, peace and harmony in relationships may come, but only for a short time.

Smoothing manifests itself in a system of apologies, promises, justifications. Smoothing leads to a decrease in the emotional state - the main goal is to prevent conflict and relieve emotional tension. But smoothing still leads to aggravation of relations, because when smoothing, distrust arises in the partner (he only promises, but he behaves as before), in addition, smoothing preserves the problem (excuses, apologies not only do not solve the problem, but can lead to it exacerbation).

. Compromise is an agreement reached through mutual concessions. Helps relieve the problem. Everyone gets partly what they wanted. This is an open discussion of opinions and positions, aimed at finding a solution that is most acceptable and convenient for both parties. Compromise is one of the most effective ways to resolve conflict; its advantage is:

in legalization of claims;

in eliminating the contradiction that has arisen (solving the problem);

in compliance with the terms of the agreement reached, since it was accepted voluntarily, with the active participation of both parties.

. Coercion is used by the initiator of the conflict, as it is suppression of his partner, ignoring his opinion. For example, “I said!” - use of power, subordination of a partner to your will. These methods of resolving the conflict - the initiator and the respondent feel a humiliated state and desire to take revenge, so the tension still remains. Coercion is the most unfavorable way to resolve conflict for maintaining friendly relations. Coercion can be justified: when there is a shortage of time; in emergency situations; in subordination. Example: parents - children; authoritarian boss - subordinate.

. Confrontation as a method is used by both sides: each insists on its own. No one wants to give in, no one wants to give up anything, so when the conflict reaches a dead end, a third party is needed - a mediator who will try to reconcile. Confrontation is justified when people do not strive to maintain relationships and are not interested in each other. Or when it is a matter of principle.

. Cooperation is a way out of a conflict situation when everyone wins, everyone gets what they want. This is the most difficult, but also the most optimal method of resolution.

Thus, there are many ways to resolve conflict; everyone chooses their own depending on the situation and personal characteristics.

Individual strategies of behavior in a conflict situation.

Personality orientation - i.e. what is most important for a person in this life (value criteria) largely determines the person’s preferred methods of resolving the conflict. For some, the main value is communication, maintaining normal relations with others, for others it is the interests of the cause, for others it is knowledge and truth. Let's consider the main ones:

“Interlocutor” is a type that requires communication with other people. The “interlocutor” will resort to those methods that preserve the relationship: leaving; smoothing; compromise.

“Practitioner” means business, work, the need for achievement. “Practice” is compulsion; confrontation.

"Thinker" - cognition. Prefers cooperation or compromise; care; confrontation. The behavior of this type is ambiguous in a conflict situation; he always finds the optimal solution, because he treats the conflict as a creative problem.

Stable preferences for certain methods of conflict resolution (individual strategies for conflict behavior) also depend on the degree of selfishness of the individual. It should be remembered that in real communication, the choice of conflict resolution method is determined simultaneously by many factors: not only the personal characteristics of the partners, but also the characteristics of the conflict situation itself, as well as the nature and closeness of the existing relationships.

Conclusion

So, communication is a specific form of human interaction with other people as members of society; social relationships between people are realized in communication. Communication helps develop and maintain relationships. A good relationship is any interaction between one person and another that is satisfying to both.

There are three interconnected sides in communication: the communicative side of communication consists of the exchange of information between people (information function); the interactive side consists in organizing interaction between people (regulatory function); the perceptual side of communication includes the process of communication partners perceiving each other and establishing mutual understanding on this basis (the communicative function of mutual understanding).

Lack of agreement between the parties is defined as a conflict. Lack of agreement is due to the presence of diverse opinions, views, ideas, interests, points of view, etc. However, it is not always expressed in the form of an obvious clash or conflict. This happens only when existing contradictions and disagreements disrupt the normal interaction of people and prevent the achievement of their goals. In this case, people are forced to somehow overcome differences and enter into open conflict interaction.

If conflicts contribute to making informed decisions and developing relationships, then they are called functional (constructive).

Conflicts that prevent effective interaction and decision making are called dysfunctional (destructive).

Conflicts arise among people all the time, i.e. conflicts are inevitable, but you must be able to behave in a conflict situation. Psychologists are developing recommendations for avoiding conflict.

You must be able to analyze conflicts, understand their causes and possible consequences.

Bibliography

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Psychology of business communication and management. Textbook L.D. Stolyarenko. - Rostov n/d: Phoenix, 2005. - 416 p. P.3-47. Tags: Conflicts in communication Abstract Psychology

1.3. Interpersonal conflict

Interpersonal conflict is an intractable contradiction that arises between people and is caused by the incompatibility of their views, interests, goals, and needs.

This type of conflict manifests itself in different ways in organizations. Many managers believe that the only reason for it is the dissimilarity of characters. Indeed, there are people who, due to differences in characters, views, and behavior, find it very difficult to get along with each other. However, a deeper analysis shows that such conflicts, as a rule, are based on objective reasons. Most often, this is a struggle for limited resources: material resources, production space, time to use equipment, labor, etc. Everyone believes that it is he who needs the resources, and not the other. Conflicts arise between a manager and a subordinate, for example, when the subordinate is convinced that the manager makes unreasonable demands on him, and the manager believes that the subordinate does not want to work to his full potential.

The reasons that led to the emergence of interpersonal conflict can also be very different: objective, i.e. independent of the will and consciousness of people, and subjective, depending on the person; material and ideal, temporary and permanent, etc. A conflict between individuals may arise due to property, or perhaps due to the fact that Ivan Ivanovich and Ivan Nikiforovich do not agree in character and cannot yield to each other in small things.

In any interpersonal conflict, the personal qualities of people, their mental, socio-psychological and moral characteristics are of great importance. In this regard, people often talk about the interpersonal compatibility or incompatibility of people who play a vital role in interpersonal communication.

Litigation

Probably one of the first signs when it’s time to “catch yourself by the tail” so that peaceful communication does not turn into hostilities is when there is a desire to prove something to your interlocutor. The motive may look the most innocent - they say, “we’re just talking,” when in fact it is guided by the good old “instinct” of the ego - the thirst for rightness. As soon as we felt that we wanted to explain something to the person, or prove something, that’s it, that’s where the exchange of information ended and self-affirmation began.

If the partner does not agree, then our intrusive arguments and evidence are perceived by him as mental violence. This is roughly how most of all conflict situations begin. We naively seek respect and love, but in return we receive the opposite – a natural “counterattack”. You really can't be nice by force.

The main problem of the relationship is not even that the partners have different understandings of mutual rights and obligations, but that the partners, instead of peaceful negotiations, arrange court proceedings. That is, instead of clarifying mutual feelings and somehow reaching an agreement, they begin to accuse, headlongly hoping to punish the “guilty” with a “fine and correctional labor.”

The partner of such agility is unpleasantly surprised and perceives it as personal oppression, or even an arrogant demonstration of dislike and disrespect, as if he is being treated like a powerless mug who is obliged to thank him for “letting him in” at all.

Resentment, anger, accusations - all this leads not to a profitable partnership, but to its disintegration due to mutual hatred. We personally need to be aware of this so that it is completely clear what exactly our person is trying to achieve by resorting to childish manipulations in the hope of easy “profit.”

As soon as communication begins to be controlled by emotions, all constructiveness instantly disappears from it, and every word is devoted only to justification and proof of one’s rightness. Therefore, when communicating in a raised voice, partners stop listening to each other. What kind of understanding of the interlocutor can we talk about when everything inside is burning with the desire to be heard and justified in one’s claims?

In emotional communication, the exchange of information is replaced by direct, crude attempts to achieve immediate gratification. The vocal cords can extract many clever, beautiful meanings, guided by the “primitive” motive of achieving superiority over the interlocutor. In this situation, instead of many words, it would be much more honest to simply repeat: “I’m right! I'm right!"

1.4. Intergroup conflict

This conflict is expressed in the clash of interests of various groups. This type includes conflicts between social groups of very different sizes: small, medium and large.

A small social group is a collection of people who are in direct interaction and united by common goals and objectives of joint activities: a school class, a student group, a production team, a department staff, a family. The quantitative composition of a small group can vary from a few people to several dozen people. Such groups can be formal (official), having a clearly fixed structure, charter, hierarchy of positions, and informal, arising spontaneously, based on personal qualities. They can also be temporary or permanent, open or closed.

Medium social groups are, for example, the staff of an enterprise, educational institution, or military unit. Such groups are characterized by an institutional organization, and their main role and task are determined by their official social status. A typical average group is a relatively independent organization that has its own status and functions in the system of social division of labor or non-labor activities (political associations, interest groups). These groups, as a rule, are not temporary, but permanent, and have their own established structure, hierarchy, administration, and governing bodies.

Large social groups include such entities as social classes, political parties, castes, social strata (strata), ethnic communities, national entities, and large religious associations. Such groups are constituted on the basis of essential characteristics common to all members (economic, political, religious, etc.).

It should be noted that it is the conflict between large social groups that some researchers call social conflict in the proper sense of the word, in contrast to intrapersonal, interpersonal and intragroup conflicts, as well as conflicts between small groups.

The causes of intergroup conflicts can be very different: economic, political, national-ethnic, etc. Different levels of social groups have their own characteristics of conflict occurrence and ways of resolving them. Thus, at the level of small groups, a factor such as social identification of groups plays a large role in the emergence of intergroup conflict. It is expressed in the formation of a sense of belonging to the group, identifying oneself with its other members, creating the quality of “we”, as opposed to “they” or “not-us”. “We” are ours, ours, “they” are others who differ from “us”. Thus, social identification has its reverse side, social differentiation, which contains the possibility of intergroup conflict. Moreover, the grounds for social identification can be very different: economic, sociocultural, racial, etc.

At the level of large social groups, the causes of conflicts are larger in scale and depth. Thus, when ethnic conflicts arise, the territorial claims of one of the ethnic groups often play an important role. The basis of political conflicts is the struggle for power, for political dominance in society [7].

2.1. Participants in the conflict

Another basic element of social conflict is its participants. Ultimately, they are always individuals with their own interests, goals and values. However, social life is not limited to the interaction of individuals. In society there are various social groups, communities, peoples, political entities, legal entities, etc., which can also act as participants in confrontation. Thus, there can be a great variety of participants in the conflict, as well as the conflicts themselves.

Modern conflictology divides all participants in the conflict into main (direct) and non-main (indirect).

1 The main participants in the conflict are always direct, immediate parties involved in the confrontation. They play a decisive and most active role in its emergence and development. The main participants in the conflict are its main characters and the contradiction of their interests lies at the heart of the confrontation. Therefore, the main participants are called subjects, or opponents (from the Latin opponents - objector) of the conflict.

In connection with the potential or power possessed by the parties involved in the conflict, there is such a thing as the rank of the opponent. The more opportunities a conflict participant has to influence the course of the confrontation, the higher his rank. In this case, ranking can be done on various grounds: physical strength, political and economic power, resource, administrative or information potential, etc. The rank of the conflict participants is directly related to their social status - the position occupied in society in accordance with the profession, age, marital status and social role of the conflict participant. In various conflict situations, the different potential of the conflict participants is also in demand. So, if there is a physical fight, the rank of opponents will be determined by their muscular strength; in economic fights it will depend on their economic potential.

2 Non-main parties to the conflict include all other parties to the conflict. They are often also called indirect participants in the conflict. By definition, they play a secondary role in the emergence and development of the conflict. Often non-main parties to the conflict are also called third parties.

The role of non-main participants in the conflict can be both constructive (positive) and destructive (negative) - they can contribute not only to the resolution or prevention of the conflict, but also to its aggravation and further development. At the same time, the result of the intervention of a non-main participant in the conflict may not coincide with its goals. They say about such a case that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, or the modern version - “we wanted the best, but it turned out as always.”

Among the indirect participants in the conflict, we should highlight groups that are specially created to support one or another subject of the conflict. These are called support groups. Support groups can be provided by friends, subjects connected with opponents by some obligations, work colleagues. In intergroup and interstate conflicts, these are states, various interstate associations, public organizations, and the media.

Other participants also play an important role in the emergence and development of the conflict:

• initiators (instigators);

• organizers;

• accomplices;

• intermediaries (mediators).

1) Initiators (instigators) - those participants in the conflict who take the initiative in starting a conflict between other individuals, groups or states. They can be individuals, various associations and even states. These can be both core and non-core participants. After a conflict has arisen, the initiator of the conflict may not participate in it. A person who starts a squabble in a team may then go into the shadows or quit his job altogether, and the conflict will continue without him.

2) Organizers - a group of people (or an individual) developing a general plan for confrontation with an opponent in order to resolve the contradiction in their favor. Organizing a conflict means thinking through all its dynamics in such a way that the expected benefits as a result of its end are greater than the losses. The organizers can be both the main and non-main participants in the conflict.

3) Accomplices - persons who help participants in the conflict in its initiation, organization and development. Accomplices can be both spontaneous groups of people and specially created ones, as well as individuals. The assistance provided by supporters can be of a very different nature: material, ideological, moral, resource, informational, administrative, etc. The accomplices were countries that provided one form or another of assistance to Nazi Germany in World War II.

4) Intermediaries (mediators) - a third party in the conflict and its indirect participants. The role of the mediator is the role of an authoritative assistant called upon by the subjects of the conflict to resolve the problem. This role can be played by individuals, organizations and states. An important feature of a mediator is his authority, recognized by both parties to the conflict. Therefore, only people or organizations that are chosen by both parties to the conflict can act as a mediator. In this case, both official and informal organizations can act as intermediaries. Such intermediaries at various levels and in various capacities can be: magicians, sorcerers, elders, thieves in law, clergy, prominent cultural figures, statesmen, international organizations such as the UN, etc.

The purpose of mediation is to achieve an end to the conflict by finding a compromise between its opponents. Therefore, the mediator must have the appropriate qualities for this: the ability to negotiate, wisdom, special knowledge, culture of communication, high moral principles. He must also take a neutral position in relation to its participants, even in cases where his personal sympathies or beliefs run counter to the position of any of the parties. Otherwise, one of the parties will refuse such an intermediary [7].

What tactics to choose if communication with a conflicting person is inevitable

First of all, you need to understand that this person really needs to say something, to convey something to his opponent, but this is where he experiences serious difficulties. If it is not possible to avoid communicating with a conflicting person, I recommend developing your own special tactics of behavior. Working with my clients, I have repeatedly been convinced of the effectiveness of such actions. My recommendations:

1. Stay calm when communicating. Let him “explode” and speak out, “evacuate” his aggression, even if his words hurt you. Don't try to tell him to calm down, just listen to him, saying, "I understand you." A conflicted person, without receiving a strong response from his opponent, quickly loses interest in the dispute.
2. Provide an opportunity to speak up and calm down. Often people do not receive due attention, as a result of which they become irritated and sow discord. By listening carefully to your interlocutor, you can avoid disagreements. After he “screams”, try to reformulate and repeat all his claims in a lower and calmer tone, in a more positive way.
3. During a conversation, be careful in your statements and value judgments.
4. Individuals with conflict are extremely picky and take minor disagreements with hostility. You should not give them a reason for new attacks.

What you especially shouldn’t do when communicating with such a person is allow yourself to moralize about him. You need to communicate from the position of a sensitive and attentive person.

Whatever a person’s difficult character, hot temperament or bad habits, he can always be given a chance to improve, provided that he himself is aware of his mistakes. If all attempts at peaceful negotiations fail, then it is worth stopping, if possible, all interaction with such a conflictual person.

2.2. Causes of conflict, reason

In any conflict, it is important to distinguish the immediate cause of the conflict from its true causes, which are often hidden.

It is important for a practicing leader to remember that as long as all the listed elements of the conflict structure exist (except for the reason), it cannot be eliminated. An attempt to end a conflict situation by force or persuasion leads to its growth and expansion by attracting new individuals, groups or organizations. Therefore, it is necessary to eliminate at least one of the existing elements of the conflict structure [5].

In general philosophical terms, the concept of “cause” means a phenomenon whose action causes or produces some other phenomenon, which is called a consequence. In society, as in nature, there is an infinite number of cause-and-effect relationships and dependencies. And conflicts here are no exception; they can also be generated by a variety of reasons: external and internal, universal and individual, material and ideal, objective and subjective, etc. Their classification can be carried out on various grounds and should not be considered complete.

When studying this issue, we will group the reasons as follows:

1) conflict of interests as a fundamental cause of conflicts;

2) objective factors of conflicts;

3) personal factors in the emergence of conflicts. It should also be noted that it is necessary to distinguish the cause of the conflict from its cause.

The cause of the conflict is a phenomenon that contributes to its occurrence, but does not necessarily determine the emergence of the conflict. Unlike a reason, a reason arises by chance and can be created completely artificially, as they say, “from scratch.” The reason reflects the natural connection of things. Thus, the reason for a family conflict may be an under-salted (over-salted) dish, while the real reason may be the lack of love between spouses.

Add positivity

According to the basics of psychology, it is seriously recommended to compliment difficult interlocutors. The main thing is that it does not look like ingratiation. Anyone can appreciate direct and honest friendliness, but no one likes sycophants. In addition, ingratiation can be perceived as a sign of weakness, and even then the opponent will definitely begin to finish you off. To avoid this, follow these rules for dealing with difficult people:

1. Maintain dignity in everything.
2. Smile openly, but not ingratiatingly.
3. Don't try to calm your interlocutor, just talk to him in a positive way.
4. Tell the truth. If you give a compliment, it should at least be similar to the truth.

Practical task

Make a typology of conflicts that have taken place in your business communication. Analyze the stages of their formation and progression.

A 30-year-old woman, divorced, has a 7-year-old child. She constantly writes memos to her superiors about errors in the work of all employees of the department, and has no friendly relations with anyone in the department. Such conflict is destructive. Creates conflict situations for the slightest reason - they said something wrong, they put it in the wrong place, etc. The already weakened psyche of a person is destroyed, both those who create scandals and the one who is being attacked at the moment becomes nervous and it is difficult to say who will be next in a conflict situation with this person. This conflict is called “between the individual and the group.” After the end of the next conflict, relations between employees deteriorate. Conflict creates a negative image - the “image of the enemy”, which contributes to the formation of a negative attitude towards the opponent. This is expressed in a biased attitude towards him and a willingness to act to his detriment. After the end of the conflict, there is a deterioration in the quality of joint activities in the group. The reason for this situation may be hidden in the internal conflict of the woman, perhaps she is experiencing dissatisfaction in family relationships or was an unloved child in the family; all this negatively affects relations with employees of her department. And since a person spends most of the day at work, it is easier to find “enemies” there. Minor conflict situations smoothly flow into memos to superiors about the mistakes of others, although the woman herself is not free from the same mistakes, and when those around her, affected by such “tutelage,” point out to her such mistakes, the conflict grows with renewed vigor. This is precisely the cause of the conflict. Most likely, the goal in this conflict is this woman’s desire to prove to her superiors that she is an indispensable employee and cares about improving work in the department.

Often a conflict develops as a series of conflicting events. Mutual conflict actions can modify and complicate the initial structure of the conflict, bringing new incentives for further actions. It is logical to present this process as follows: the transition from negotiations to struggle, the struggle heats up emotions, emotions increase perception errors - this leads to an intensification of the struggle. Since this person always has an image of an enemy, the adequate perception of other personalities is displaced, this is expressed in distrust of others, in a negative perception of everything on the part of others, even if I offer her help.

Awareness in communication

When everything in your soul turns upside down and the supports shake, like during an earthquake, the first important step is not to panic, to find an island of sobriety in your soul and ask yourself: “What exactly is happening? What am I doing? What do I want to achieve? And what am I achieving with my actions in fact?”

When two people argue, everyone wants to be heard and understood. To resolve the situation, someone is destined to take the first step and be an adult for the inner child of their partner. It's about starting to listen to the person next to you really carefully. Don’t evaluate, don’t make excuses, don’t argue, but just see what’s happening, what your partner is in, what he’s worried about.

This is exactly how awareness is cultivated in communication, and condemnation with crude assessments is replaced by a comprehensive understanding of the situation as a whole. These are two diametrically different positions. The main question of the first: “How to prove that you are right?” The main question is the second: “How to harmonize the situation?”

From a position of self-affirmation, a person is generally not inclined to think about anything, and being blinded by emotions, he becomes a hostage to his own “rightness”. All clumsy conviction leaves the position of understanding and the situation becomes “voluminous” with many nuances. It can reveal where and in what experiences the partner is stuck, how unrealistically difficult it is for him to calm down, and look at what is happening through our eyes. Metaphorically speaking, this is a transformation from an elephant that burst into a china shop into a sophisticated connoisseur who knows a lot about dishes.

For an ego craving self-affirmation, such a maneuver may seem impossible - especially in a conflict situation, where, on the contrary, you painfully want to make your partner a silent mouthpiece for your own moralizing. This desire weakens as one realizes its futility.

Yes, in a sense, here I am proposing to learn to provide our partner with such a “service” that our person expected from him. Isn't it strange? Maybe there is no futility in asserting one’s rightness? Maybe it would be easier to send your partner a link to this article so that he can learn to listen? They say, “let him grow up, because he’s the one who’s wrong!” But our person is right - we should listen to her!” Such arguments are a continuation of the old song about the guilt of a partner and our eternal impenetrable “rightness”.

In an old article about self-importance, I already said that, in a strange way, familiarization with the mechanisms of self-deception encourages most of us to catch everyone else in delusions, but not ourselves. Meanwhile, the only way of mental maturation is connected with the knowledge not of others, but of one’s own misconceptions

And convicting others of having a sense of self-importance only speaks of the swelling of such in our person.

In the same way, hoping for the sake of personal whims that the partner will become an adult in a couple is a very childish position. A partner may, and will, but he will quickly get bored with our infantile persona.

Resources for awareness in communication are easier to find for those whose consciousness is less absorbed in emotions. And this is not a weakness, but, on the contrary, a challenge that trains mental strength. When you come out of preoccupation with emotions, there is a disidentification with the intoxicated layers of the personality, and you get a feeling as if you woke up from a bad dream and came to your senses. If the drama that occurs causes a smile, this is a good sign.

Bibliography

1. Business psychology. Textbook for higher and secondary special educational institutions / Ed. Morozov A.V. - St. Petersburg: Soyuz. 2000. – 354 p.
2. Conflictology. Textbook for universities / Ed. AND I. Antsupova. — M.: Unity. 1999.- 551 p.
3. Conflictology. Textbook / Ed. A.V. Dmitriev. – M.: 2000. – 320 p.
4. Psychology of conflict. Textbook / Ed. N.V. Grishina. - SPb.: Peter. 2000.-343 p.
5. Psychology. Textbook for economic universities / Ed. V.N.Druzhinina. - St. Petersburg: Peter. 2002.- 456 p.
6. Psychology and ethics of business communication. Textbook for universities / Ed. Lavrinenko V.N. – M.: UNITY. 1997. – 279 p.
7. Burtovaya E.V. Conflictology. https://www.iu.ru/biblio/archive/unknown_konflictions/57.aspx.
8. Leonov N.I. Reader on conflictology. https://www.iu.ru/biblio/archive/unknown_konflictions/57.aspx.

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"Nothing personal just business"

In a recent article about betrayal and fidelity, I already said that relationships are in many ways similar to cooperation between business partners. As long as cooperation is mutually beneficial, it lives and grows stronger. As soon as at least one of the parties ceases to understand why it needs this “cooperation”, the relationship falls apart.

The business analogy may seem unfortunate because marital relationships are built on personal likes and dislikes. But in fact, sympathy is nothing more than the profitable side of “business,” and antipathy is the unprofitable side. After all, we do not love our partner unconditionally, but for our own benefit for specific positive talents and qualities. On progressman.ru, a recent article on the “debt” of love is devoted to this topic.

So, try to imagine a smart businessman for whom cooperation with a partner has ceased to bring benefits. How will he react? Will he whine and lament, calling on his partner for justice? Or maybe he will get drunk and seek solace from friends or parents? Or maybe he will withdraw into himself and devote time to a depressive study of the patterns on the ceiling?

Do you see what I'm getting at? A smart businessman is practical, and either reorganizes unprofitable cooperation, transforming it into a profitable one, or ends it as exhausted. And there is no place for childish grievances in mature relationships. "Only business".

And if with the termination of cooperation everything is more or less clear (it’s not a complicated matter), then transforming unprofitable relationships into profitable ones is a whole science that everyone masters the hard way. This “science” ideally answers the most difficult questions about how to harmonize negative communication and learn to steer crisis situations into a peaceful direction.