Smart, beautiful, successful and at the same time lonely. In the modern world, girls often face the problem of finding a partner. It seems that everyone is with them, but the guy is not there. What's the problem? Clinical psychologist Irina Fisenko examined the topic in detail and gave advice.
Nowadays, the topic of finding a partner is very relevant. Many girls, as we see, are smart, beautiful, and enterprising, but cannot create relationships that would smoothly transition into family happiness.
The first and main reason for looking for a partner is public opinion, which every time reminds of the stereotypes and prestigious status of a sought-after married representative of the fair sex.
From childhood, a girl begins to feel inferior if boys are not interested in her. Then she focuses her attention on this, and what happens is that the lady embarks on an active search or becomes painfully aware of her loneliness. Such thoughts, and then unsuccessful attempts to find happiness, lead to mental disorders and diseases of the nervous system.
Why I don't have a boyfriend - reasons
If the question arises why I don’t have a boyfriend, then the answer must be sought in various psychological factors associated with the inability to communicate, with choosing the wrong guys, or in too high demands on a future young man.
- Unrequited love.
The state of falling in love with a guy who does not reciprocate occupies a girl’s heart. This feeling gives rise to unrealizable dreams, the construction of plans for the future and “castles in the air.” This condition leads to the fact that the girl does not notice anyone around her, lives only with thoughts about her ideal, so it is very difficult for someone else to achieve her favor.
Psychologists advise that if a guy does not reciprocate, there is no need to “obsess” with him, but you should look around, often love is nearby.
- Inability to communicate.
Shyness and confusion in communication are one of the reasons why I, you, and she don’t have a boyfriend. Communicative freedom comes when there are common topics for conversation. To achieve this, you need to read more books, understand current news, and know good jokes.
- Dating the wrong guys.
Every girl is initially committed to a long-term relationship, but not all guys want the same. Confident, relaxed, active, attractive guys easily make new acquaintances and just as easily break up.
Often they already have in their arsenal not a single broken girl’s heart. Modest and responsible guys often remain in the “shadows”. One of the reasons for the problem “why don’t I have a boyfriend” may be a reluctance to meet guys who at first glance seem boring and uninteresting. Not every person can open up at the first meeting.
- It's important to be feminine.
Femininity is a girl’s main weapon, which no guy can resist. Some girls try to be friends with guys, they speak to them in their language. Friendship with a guy can only be at the initial stage of a relationship. It's never too late to use women's tricks and tricks. Guys don't fall in love with friends.
- Unbearable character.
A guy may really like his appearance, be attractive and seductive to him, but at the same time capricious, irritable and rude. And that can be off-putting. Traits such as excessive intrusiveness and excessive care and control are unacceptable. Experts advise finding the line that will allow you to build harmonious relationships. In communication, try to be natural, affectionate, caring, but independent and proud.
- Excessive demands.
Many girls waste time searching for the ideal that lives in their dreams. There are no perfect guys. Each person has his own advantages and disadvantages. Only real feeling allows you to appreciate the first and not notice the second.
- Shyness
It is impossible to attract attention to yourself without sufficient self-confidence. Low levels of self-esteem lead to excessive timidity. Confident look, naturalness, openness in behavior, cheerful character and intelligence - all this will not go unnoticed.
Heightened self-esteem
In some cases, increased demands on the opposite sex cause inflated self-esteem. Self-love is a very important skill and vital, beware of elevating yourself above others. Narcissistic girls put guys on guard and, in most cases, push them away. Popular wisdom says: “The juiciest and most delicious apples do not always grow on the crowns of trees.” Now remember what happens to those fruits that are not picked from the tree? They remain on the branches and begin to overripe and eventually spoil.
How to find a guy: types of guys
Conventionally, all guys can be divided into the following types:
- Egotist
He doesn't pay much attention to the girl's desires and feelings. Promises to write or call at the appointed time and does not call back. The reasons may be different: I forgot, I had no time. When expressing dissatisfaction, there is a risk of running into rudeness. As a result, the girl’s self-esteem drops, she loses faith in herself and her attractiveness.
- Aggressor
At the beginning of a relationship, aggressors “disguise” themselves with gallant and helpful behavior until the girl falls in love and becomes dependent on the relationship. Then rough treatment, sometimes with assault, is allowed. At the first sign of aggressive behavior on the part of a guy, you need to run “without looking back.”
- Critic
He constantly doesn’t like something: makeup, clothes, friends, figure. You will never please this type. He will always criticize. Psychologists advise not to lose self-esteem in any situation and no one should be allowed to lower their self-esteem. The girl needs to understand that it’s not about herself, but about his attitude towards her.
- "Womanizer"
Many guys love variety and new experiences. They flutter from one young lady to another. There can be two options for this behavior: they haven’t met the one and only, or they are simply “womanizers.” Psychologists call this “intimophobia.” Guys with this diagnosis are afraid of a long-term relationship with a girl.
- Dependent
There is a pronounced tendency to abuse alcohol and drugs. Among young people this can be positioned as informality or progressiveness. For a girl, when meeting such a guy, there is reason to think about whether she can put up with this and whether it is worth continuing the relationship.
Perception like a tomboy
