Three o’clock in the morning, fingers flying across the keyboard, heart pounding, emotions at the maximum, with every notification “New message”. Sound familiar? Still would! Correspondence with a guy is a small life...
Some psychologists claim that using emoticons, letters and signs to make a man fall in love with you is absolutely possible. Today I will tell you about several techniques on how to please a guy in correspondence and make your meeting happen.
I know a case from the practice of one psychologist: a wife found out that her mistress had taken her husband away from her, simply wishing “Have a nice day” every morning for just a week in correspondence. In fact, the acquaintance began with just this phrase, but what is the result...
Correspondence with a man is no more complicated than borscht - the main thing is to collect the necessary ingredients and add them to the broth in a certain sequence.
Take a notepad, pen, write down the “recipe”.
Appearances and passwords
I recently read that on average people spend from 3 to 7 hours a day online - on mobile phones or computers. In this case, ignoring the Internet as a dating place is simply stupid.
It is important to understand how and where to meet people. Attracting a guy on the Internet is a “thing,” but you’re looking for a normal and decent man, and not just any man?
Even there there are their own hot spots. For example, Facebook - active, business, VK - is positioned as a social network for teenagers, but Instagram seems to be loved by everyone.
Dating sites are another matter - everything on them is, in principle, designed to create relationships: you just need to know how not to be deceived and not become a victim of a banal pick-up artist.
But getting to know each other is half the battle. But to interest, establish contact and keep attention on yourself - you will have to try.
Rule No. 1: Form and content
Do you think that you only need to check your profile on a dating site? No. Beer, bare breasts, bouquets of roses or selfies from the gym. Any of these photographs can tell you much more about you than you can imagine.
A basic image search and Google will give you away to a man. It’s the same story in Viber and WhatsApp: agree that when we see only status and photos, we judge only by these points.
Vanilla statuses like “I am hard to find and easy to lose” do not speak about your value, but about primitive thinking and excess free time.
Therefore, before you create a profile or meet someone online, go through the published photos and check whether all of them correspond to your request for a worthy man.
If you would already be ashamed to show your profile to your future husband, consider that you have failed face control.
Rule No. 2: Adequate initiative
Give the guy the first like?! Yes, this is the first step on the girl’s part. And no, he won’t think that you are intrusive, asking for help, etc. To be the first to write: “Hello...” is not a crime.
If we transfer the same picture into reality: you would show initiative when you smiled, looked into the eyes, or something like that.
While you sit and think about how he will take the initiative, someone else will take it. And then write or don’t write, the chance will be missed.
You don’t have to believe that fate will bring you together one way or another. When you wait a long time, you get the best of the leftovers - I’ve said this more than once.
Yes, go first. Like and write.
But remember, in the first message it is best to either give a compliment or ask a question that will be impossible not to answer.
And this question is not “How are you?” And there is no need to unload on a man a history of his kind, a story about 72 hobbies and proudly tweet about his “top 10 advantages”.
Every person wants to be interested in him. This is a cyclical reaction: you show interest - they correct you in return.
The “take-and-give” balance is important even on the first date, because the relationship begins already in the first SMS conversation.
Act like a woman: carefully and unobtrusively. Put off the desire to show off your sharp mind until better times. Start with a simple “Hi. A stunning photo of the sunset in Barcelona, tell us which cities you have visited before?
This will be enough for him to understand that you are educated, not trivial and interested. On top of everything, a beautiful photo and the first step has been taken.
If he answers, he’s interested. Keep your communication level. If not, that's the answer.
How to intrigue a man by correspondence - Formula of intrigue
Intrigue formula = question + desire for an answer + hope
Those. after your first message, a question should arise in a man’s head, then a desire to get an answer to it, and then you give him hope that you will satisfy his curiosity!
In the first message you can write to the man:
- “Hey, there’s one thing I liked about you” (If you’re not familiar)
- “Hi, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time - I like one thing about you” (if the man is already your acquaintance)
From such an SMS, the question immediately arises in his head: “What trait did she like?”
That's it, the intrigue is created. Then your task is only to promote it. Don’t immediately say what feature you liked, stretch out the pleasure. And when a man asks, “What trait did you like?” , you can answer “I can’t talk about this in correspondence, it’s too personal.” In this simple way you can encourage a man to meet you.
With the help of such a simple intrigue in the first message, I almost immediately receive the phone numbers of girls on a dating site (Screen below)
Recommendation: to increase the intrigue, do not immediately respond to a man’s SMS. Let your answer wait, so time will work for you.
Read on the same topic: Virtual correspondence with a man - rules of the game and flirting (Opens in a new tab)
Rule #3: Emoticons
Do you know how many emoticons are in your smartphone? More than 1500. And if you still do not use this tool to influence the male heart, then you risk being left out of work.
It seems that all these cute hearts, cats, flowers were invented precisely in order to make men fall in love by correspondence. And it's not all about the colorfulness.
And the fact is that a man understands a woman best through feelings and emotions. And when you write “Thank you for the evening. I feel the happiest!” and at the end you add a smiley face - this warms his heart.
When it comes to texting, emojis are the cool weapon to melt his heart. It’s not for nothing that they were called “emoji” - they express emotions.
But don’t go too far with this either. The world is tired of dry “Thanks” and “Ok”, but a message in which the meaning in the text is not visible behind the emoticons... is also not the best option.
Make your correspondence emotional and lively and you will see that he will look forward to each next one.
If you have already met in life and the man is close to you, you know exactly how to get a guy by SMS.
Send him something like, “Honey, I’m on my way out. I just can’t choose underwear: tell me red or black?” (a selfie will be very helpful here) and add a kiss emoji. Do not thank. :)
Show genuine interest3
No, this does not mean that you need to bombard the young man with messages every minute. There may not be many of them, but every word will be filled with meaning and interest in the interlocutor. The young man should feel that he is of genuine interest to you. Does the guy have hobbies? Great! Ask him as much as possible about his hobby. Does the young man occupy an interesting position? Ask him about the specifics of his work. Thus, you will definitely be able to win him over from the first messages.
Rule No. 4: Competent does not mean normal
Many women, when drawing conclusions about a man, miss one very important thing - literacy.
Firstly, it is a direct indicator of intellectual level. Secondly, what to focus on is not always correct.
Remember one thing: very literate does not mean normal, and normal does not mean exceptionally literate.
A decent man saves his time on things like SMS. He can ignore capital letters and sometimes punctuation marks, so it is better to draw conclusions not by commas, but by actions.
And the main indicator that a man is ready to take the relationship to the level of reality is a meeting.
And you, too, don’t play the philological maiden if you are far from her in life.
As with everything, moderation is important here. There is no point in putting up with "ashipki". A decent man most likely has an equally decent job.
When instead of “date” he writes “dating” - think about what kind of work they will tolerate such an illiterate employee.
But if he made only a couple of mistakes during the entire period of your communication, and you have already written him off, one thing I can say for sure is that it will be difficult for you to find a normal man.
Try to write correctly and avoid typos, but don’t get hung up on it. Believe me, literacy is not the most important quality in a man.
Rule #5: Problem Girl
Even the most confidential dialogue can be ruined once or twice, and then complain “how well it all started!”
Body language doesn’t work in correspondence, so even the interlocutor won’t be able to easily recognize irony if you don’t put a smiley face at the end.
At the correspondence stage, problems can only have one character: “Listen, don’t you know a good restaurant in
The same goes for your shortcomings. There is a category of women who really like to focus attention on them in the spirit of: “Yes, that’s who I am!”
Imitation
Imitation in correspondence is similar to mirroring the interlocutor’s behavior pattern in order to make one feel better about oneself. It is only based on copying the correspondence format. Analyze the communication style of your interlocutor. He writes long messages or prefers to write several and short ones. How often he uses emoticons or sends funny pictures and the like. A person subconsciously reaches out to another person if he feels similar to him. Start imitating the other person's texting habits and your connection can strengthen.
Rule #6: Simple Conventions
There are moments that fuel a man’s interest in corresponding with you. First of all, it’s attention to his life and the ability to present your own.
Learn to ask open-ended questions in correspondence, those that cannot be answered “Yes-No”. This way you will get food for thought.
Along with the answer, you will receive a question addressed to you and a chance to tell something exciting.
It is not at all necessary that the man be online when you write. You can make your good morning wishes traditional. A simple example: “Good morning! Have a good day! (smile).”
This is where you get creative: figure out how to wish him a good day in a more interesting way and see the man’s reaction if you write him something new every morning.
In the evening you can ask the opposite: “How was your day?” This question does not require a detailed report and the man will definitely answer something.
A separate issue is the duration of the correspondence. Don't stay online too long, especially at night. Lack of sleep does not make a woman happy and means that she has nothing to do in the evening.
It’s better to tell your man about how productively you spent your day, what interesting things happened in your life, what you read, watch and what you’re interested in - briefly and emotionally. And don't forget to give compliments.
And forget about the question “What are you doing?” every two hours. For the most part, it is annoying and distracting.
How to interest a man by correspondence? Psychology
After you have aroused intrigue and started communication with a man, it is important to begin to increase this interest on his part.
To interest a man by correspondence, you need to be sincerely interested in him! If you are sincerely interested in a man and his life, then he himself will seek communication with you. Because a person by nature loves to talk about his beloved self.
Any person has a topic that is sincerely interesting to him and about which he is passionate. Figure out his favorite topic (you can ask him the question “What in life are you truly passionate about?”) and be genuinely interested in his passion.
I once corresponded with a girl who worked as an interior designer. It was really interesting for me to see her creative results and learn the details of this direction. The girl told me about her work with great enthusiasm and we began a rich dialogue.
I showed you only a small fragment of the dialogue, but the emphasis in the correspondence was precisely on the interests of the girl and I made her the main character of our communication. And what do you think came of it? She really wanted to meet me in real life and invited me to see me a couple of times. I am sure that this technique will work just as effectively on men.
Remember People like nothing more than to talk to themselves. Take advantage of this fact and then men will consider you a charming interlocutor.
List of questions to get to know a man better:
- What really fascinates you in life?
- Do you have an activity that you are passionate about?
- Do you have something that makes you forget about time?
- What did you like to do when you were little?
Ask a man one of these questions, and then promote a dialogue and be sincerely interested in his hobby.
You can see an example of my correspondence, when I begin to become interested in my interlocutor, above.
Ps All the recommendations I give in this article are verified by my experience and not taken from my head. That's why they are effective.
Important! I want to share great news with the readers of my blog. For more than 6 months I wrote a book that will help any woman fall in love with the right man. The book contains practical recommendations and tricks for falling in love. 137 pages of unique information, which has no analogues. All technologies indicated in the book are my personal developments. After reading the book, you will significantly improve your skills in seducing men. The book can be purchased here (Opens in a new tab)
Rule No. 8: Regularity, boundaries, familiarity
Make sure that your communication did not begin solely on your initiative. Understand that if a man doesn’t want to write himself, he’s no longer interested in you.
Therefore, keep track of the mode in which you respond to each other. Ideally, he writes and you write. Keep track of how long it takes for him to respond to a message: instantly, during the day or once a week. This also says a lot.
Now about the framework.
Long gone are the days when the topic of sex was taboo. And even at the stage of correspondence, you can talk about your preferences, but if a man starts communication with this, he only wants sex .
If it goes beyond what is permitted, the same thing can be said in completely different ways, and if a man writes: “Kisa, I want to lick your socks,” he is inadequate. Finish the correspondence.
And if he talks, for example, about his sexual temperament in the spirit: “I would like to know if we are sexually compatible. I love to dominate. Tell me about what you like." — you can also briefly describe and track the reaction.
A worthy man will always appreciate how calmly, gently and femininely you either move away from the topic or answer such a question frankly.
In general, pay attention to such things - it will help you avoid an unpleasant aftertaste from correspondence with preoccupied people, gigolos, beggars, etc.
How to attract a guy's attention on VKontakte
VKontakte is one of the most successful places for virtual dating. This social network gives you a whole set of intelligence data: statuses, place of study, circle of friends, tracks - everything that can be useful in further communication. So, how can you please a guy via correspondence on VKontakte:
- Maintain the order. First, put “likes”, then write comments in the public domain, and only after that write private messages.
- Don't litter your correspondence with standard phrases. It makes no sense to bombard the recipient with “hello” and “let’s meet,” which will be perceived as spam. When choosing tactics on how to please a guy via correspondence, cling to current topics:
- “You look like you know football? What is the forecast for the game today?
- “I noticed an unusual selection of tracks. I couldn't pass by. Why is that?",
- “Great album! Please share another photo with the bike, if you don’t mind.”
- Stay in touch. Follow the updates on your boyfriend's page. Support his endeavors. Share a useful link on a question of interest to him.
- Cheer him up. Any pen pal on VKontakte will be attracted by your sunny positivity:
- “I tried amazing coffee today. I’d like to cook something like this for you someday,”
- “We were treated to magic chocolate. It’s a pity I can’t share it with you (yet!).”
- Make a mess on your page. Refresh your avatar, focusing on the tastes of your object of attention, add his favorite hits and men’s philosophy about life to the status list. An unexpected visit from your Romeo should not take you by surprise.
