My husband said he doesn’t love me: reasons, what to do, advice from psychologists, reviews

My husband said that he doesn’t love me - how can I understand, and most importantly, accept these words?

People tend to talk about their feelings for each other. This is especially necessary for women - verbal expression of emotions is in their blood.

Why men don’t like to talk about secrets and remain silent until the last moment that there is no more love - find out from this article.

Why does a husband tell his wife that he doesn’t love him: possible reasons

Feelings don’t just go away – something always precedes this event. Sometimes the woman herself is to blame for what happened, sometimes both spouses are to blame. Why this happens, what are the main reasons for the cooling of relations - let’s look at it in more detail.

In the heat of a quarrel

During family conflicts, many spouses cannot contain their emotions. Words spoken in the heat of the moment do not mean that there really is no more love. Most likely, your husband just wants to hurt you.

How to react is up to everyone to decide for themselves.

If such words in conflicts are commonplace, many women stop paying attention to it. After all, the husband does not leave the family, therefore there is no reason to worry.

When silence is not your option, talk to a man. Explain to him that you love him and don’t want to lose him. If there is still respect on his part, he will understand.

My husband has fallen out of love, what to do - advice

Often, couples experience a cooling-off period after several years of living together. Relationships cease to be full of bright positive emotions, and spouses spend more and more time apart. And even when they build or create something together, they still feel detached.

The reason for such alienation will not necessarily be the disappearance of love on the part of the faithful. Often this occurs due to loss of interest. In this case, the task of an intelligent woman who wants to save her family is to find the source of the problem and eradicate it.

If the spouse’s behavior is constantly chilling, if he lives a life separate from the family, and is not interested in his wife’s affairs, then most likely the love has left his heart.

What to do if a husband stops loving his wife, how to behave, how can a woman survive such a difficult period? Similar questions plague all ladies who find themselves in similar situations. First of all, you should not close your eyes to what is happening and think that this is just a difficult period that will self-destruct over time. But you shouldn’t go on the attack right away either. If a woman begins to notice that her husband is becoming colder in his relationship with her, then it is recommended to observe the further behavior of her husband and the development of the situation. But if the problem has dragged on, if there is not a single attempt on the part of the faithful to return the old relationship or save the marriage, then this is an excellent reason to think about whether this man is really needed, is he worth the wasted nerve cells and shed tears?

What to do if your husband falls out of love, but doesn’t leave? First, you should identify the symptoms of “dislike”. After all, the term “falling out of love” is a rather loose and relative concept. Sometimes it may seem that love has passed, but in reality it may not be noticeable under the pile of negative emotions accumulated over the years of married life. Therefore, psychologists identify a number of signs that signal problems in relationships:

- the husband has ceased to treat his wife with the same reverence, and when his wife reaches out to him, he turns away;

- stopped attaching importance to joint dinners, breakfasts or lunches. Many people discount the importance of family meals for gender relations. Dinner together may seem like such a small thing, but eating together actually brings spouses very close together. Ignoring such a significant component of a strong relationship demonstrates the subconscious reluctance of the spouse to be close to his wife;

- the spouse often refuses to jointly discuss his work problems, minor troubles that arise in interaction with colleagues or comrades. This means that he does not want to allow his wife into his personal area;

- began to find fault with his wife even without reason, believes that she does everything with a weak C, and does not notice her successes and efforts;

— stopped calling first and calling back when there was a missed call from his wife;

- in intimate intimacy, the initiative on the part of the faithful also disappeared, and all attempts by a woman to interest her husband in an intimate way are doomed to failure in advance;

— he increasingly began to use the pronouns “I and mine”, whereas previously he constantly used “we, ours”;

- the spouse practically does not care what happens to his wife, what worries her, her well-being, problems and joys.

So, after re-reading the listed symptoms and finding all or several of them in her own family relationships, the woman again faces the question: what to do if the husband stops loving his wife? To begin with, it is recommended to understand the reasons for the departure of feelings. In each individual marriage, the reasons are purely individual, but several general points can be identified. Husbands, predominantly, become cold towards their spouses due to a lack of emotional intimacy. Basically, misunderstanding in family relationships arises from the inability of spouses to talk openly about problems, sincerely express feelings, express experiences, empathize, etc. As a result, partners cannot correct the “bad” in the relationship, that is, what they do not like in the relationship. The result of this is a snowball of problems that threatens to destroy the marriage.

What to do if your husband falls out of love, but doesn’t leave? First of all, you don’t need to sit with your hands folded, waiting for a miracle. The sooner a woman begins her procession to revive faded feelings, the greater the chance of saving family relationships.

Among the reasons why men lose the feeling of love for their faithful ones are:

— retribution for past sins (for example, the spouse was caught cheating, disgraced her husband in front of people significant to him or treats her spouse poorly, etc.);

- there was no love at all - the man confused passion, admiration, infatuation with love;

- the appearance of a mistress;

- disappearance of interest and not only intimate ones (my husband read the entire book and became bored).

Having analyzed the reasons that led to the extinction of feelings, a woman has the opportunity to outline a strategy for reviving old relationships. First of all, you should take care of your own appearance, change your image, diversify your wardrobe, buy seductive lingerie. You need to try to interest your husband in yourself so that he takes a fresh look at his once beloved.

What to do if your husband falls out of love and wants to leave? It is necessary to part with him with dignity. If a man wants to leave, then he should be let go without hysterics and exhausting scandals. Why humiliate yourself and shed tears if a person has fallen out of love? It happens. It is painful, offensive, but not fatal. You need to have the right attitude towards breaking up with your loved one. Parting is the end of a family relationship, but any stage of life is also its beginning. And who knows, maybe it will be much more entertaining than the previous one?! A new stage is like a pristine snow-white sheet of paper on which you can draw your entire subsequent life, the way the artist himself wants to see it, without adjusting it to suit the wishes of the spouse. The freed up time can be spent on self-education, hobbies, children, travel, new novels.

Reviews

Find out what those women who feel or already probably know that they are unloved say about this:

Christina is 33 years old, married for 9 years, has a growing son. All the years of marriage, she understood that her husband did not feel much love for her. She hoped that she could love for two and that over time her husband would reciprocate. Unfortunately, it did not happen. I found out that he had been living in two families for a long time. She filed for divorce, although he himself did not plan to break off the relationship;
Olga – 25 years old, married for 4 years, no children. I have never heard words of love from my husband, but I am sure of the sincerity of his feelings. Believes that the main thing is actions, and happiness loves silence;
Tatyana – 47 years old, married 23. Has adult children. I found out by chance that my husband no longer loved me and was having an affair. After a frank conversation, the husband admitted that he never loved Tatyana;
Irina – 29 years old. Divorced, alone raising a small child, whose father said he no longer loves her - in the eighth month of pregnancy. She forcibly pulled herself out of depression - her husband was her first love. Now in a relationship, but she doesn’t want to fall in love anymore - the fear of feeling pain and betrayal again is too great.

It SEEMS to me that he doesn’t love me - fact No. 1

If a girl says that “I’m not sure he loves me,” then most likely she does.

Why did I classify this as facts? Because we are creatures who read information not only in words.

According to psychological research, only 7% of information is transmitted in words. We receive the remaining 93% through non-verbal communication. These are facial expressions, gestures, various signs from a person, postures, energy.

Therefore, no matter what a man tells you, you perfectly read his real attitude towards you. Especially considering that many girls have an increased level of mental sensitivity and empathy (the ability to feel another).

In addition to the fact that we read a person’s feelings through non-verbal communication, there are also obvious signs by which you can definitely understand that a man does not love you. His behavior, his actions are also facts that, despite your desire for him to love you, speak for themselves.

And looking at these facts, one day you say, “I don’t believe he loves me.” What are these signs? —

From a religious point of view:

Marriages, for the most part, are built not on feelings, but, as they say, on calculation. Statistics and practice confirm that arranged marriages are stronger than those supposedly based on love. In a family, the main thing is the respect of both spouses for each other, rather than some feelings, since sometimes the latter tend to fade away or, as in your case, disappear altogether. Lack of attraction is not at all a reason for divorce, as was said above, the main thing is respect and good attitude towards each other. Divorce, according to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), is the most undesirable act. The hadith says: “ The most hateful thing to the Almighty that is permitted is divorce ” (“Jamiul-Ahadith”, No. 170).
أبغض الحلال إلى الله الطلاق

Talk to your husband, tell him everything that was said above. Involve relatives on both sides in solving this problem. It is not clear why they do not in any way try to help your family improve their relationship and prevent them from committing a wrong act. In any case, you said nothing about their opinions or actions. Please draw your husband's attention to the fact that you and he have a common child, who will suffer the most in the event of your divorce. Try to put pressure on him through the child, touch his paternal feelings, influence him, drawing attention to the fact that he will be responsible for the rest of his life for depriving his child of the care of both parents. Because in this situation, divorce is not justified, not justified.

As a last resort, offer him to marry another woman without divorcing you, of course, if this is acceptable or preferable to you than divorce.

It would also be good and even necessary to talk with him about his adventures, to draw his attention to the fact that any such relationship without entering into a Muslim marriage (nikah) is a sin. I'm not even talking about adultery, which is a grave sin.

Why is he hiding his betrayal?

As long as a man values his relationship with his wife, he will do his best to hide the fact of the betrayal that has occurred. Whether it was spontaneous stupidity or a completely meaningful decision does not matter. This is the only way to maintain the trust of your spouse and the family climate as a whole. There is a separate category of people who firmly believe that there is nothing better than the truth. However, imagine a situation: you consider your marriage ideal, you feel like a happy woman, but one fine day your husband confesses to deception, assuring that it was a mistake, and he loves only you. What's the result? Harmony and prosperity come to an end.

When a woman accidentally finds out about adultery, the question invariably arises in her head: “Why does my husband cheat, but does not confess?” The desire to find out everything as quickly as possible, to take revenge or to punish are the first emotions that often lead to sad consequences. We need to figure out why this is happening, and is it really possible to fix something? Probably, the spouse does not want to destroy the family, but he also cannot cope with his weaknesses. The situation is completely different when he hides an affair on the side for selfish reasons. If he is financially dependent on his legal companion or does not have his own home, it’s time to think about whether it’s worth establishing a relationship with such a person at all?

Reasons why a man fell out of love

If you have the courage to face the truth, then read on for a list of reasons why a man's feelings for you may cool down. The described mistakes do not kill the partner’s love, but little by little over time. Try to avoid them.

A man fell out of love because of fear

Every person knows the power of fear. Fear of something literally blocks out all other sensations, forcing you to think only about the object that caused this feeling. This destabilizing state definitely has no place in a relationship.

So, let's look at the first group of reasons that will indicate why a man fell out of love. They are all united by a feeling of fear, which roots anxiety in a man’s heart, crowding out bright feelings. The following situations can arise in a couple if the woman is too stubborn, too pragmatic or straightforward.

Excessive activity of the partner . At first glance, there is nothing wrong with this. A reasonable amount of initiative on your part keeps things interesting. However, if there is too much of it, the man takes a leading position. Not everyone likes to be subordinate, to do what they don’t want to do. Over time, women who are too proactive cease to be loved, because their partner cannot relax around them. He will be afraid of doing something wrong, he will have to win the right to independence. Then between two people there will no longer be love, but a real battlefield.
Constantly pessimistic attitude. There are no relationships without crises. Every person may experience difficulties sooner or later in life. If a man is going through a bad period, he expects support and faith in a better future from his other half. Worthy representatives of the stronger sex already feel increased responsibility for the current situation, and if the partner adds fuel to the fire with constant whining and lamentation, life becomes unbearable. And instead of being inspired by a woman’s optimism and getting up from his knees, a man succumbs to fear and is shackled by a lack of confidence in his own abilities. Therefore, in difficult situations you need to support and inspire your chosen one.
The habit of cutting the truth in the eyes . A quality that deprives the fair sex of femininity. This refers to situations where it is actually better to remain silent. Such straightforwardness most often manifests itself in tactless phrases and reproaches like: “I told you so.” Knowing this trait, a woman must control her speech. Otherwise, a man will have to constantly defend himself from attacks and be afraid of slipping up. Of course, this does not mean that you should not express your opinion at all. It just needs to be done correctly, with female wisdom, and sometimes cunning.

It is wrong to believe that men are afraid of the fair sex themselves with such qualities. No. They are afraid that a difficult moment will come in life, and instead of support they will receive reproaches and pressure, which will not alleviate their condition, but will aggravate it. Men also stop sharing joyful little things, so as not to face censure, which kills all activity.

A man fell out of love due to irritation

In every person's life there are many little things that irritate him. These include annoying colleagues, monotonous sounds, not to mention repair work in the neighborhood, a noisy group of young people under the windows, or whatever - everyone has their own list. And if a man has this feeling within a relationship, then its quality noticeably deteriorates. There is no longer any need to talk about any happiness - the partner will only dream of peace.

Why did a man stop loving his wife? Your significant other can be annoying in many ways, from harmless habits to more serious behavior patterns. This includes the desire to spend all the time together, regardless of the man’s desires, and constant dissatisfaction, and the lack of common interests.

The need to do everything together . Firstly, every young person needs personal space. And we’re not just talking about introverts who feel good alone. Even the most sociable and sociable person sometimes wants to be alone with his thoughts. And secondly, time is a limited resource. If it goes entirely to the partner, other areas of life will suffer: work and friendships. At first, the desire to be together everywhere may seem sweet, but gradually satiety will set in, turning into irritation.
Constant reproaches . At the beginning of a relationship, a man can enthusiastically fulfill the whims of a demanding person and try with redoubled force. However, in the future, he will understand that no matter how hard he tries, he cannot please. Chronic dissatisfaction will irritate the partner, if not deprive him of the desire to do anything for his chosen one.
Different views on many aspects of life . The presence of initially different horizons fuels interest in communication. However, every couple should strive to find something that unites them. If a woman stubbornly defends her interests, not paying attention to the desire of a man, then she risks being left alone. Therefore, be more pliable, try to understand and accept your partner’s values.

3 important steps

which every woman should go through

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This group of reasons will inevitably lead to a bad outcome, because constant tension will irritate the man. In the first option, due to lack of time for personal matters and communication outside the couple. In the next - due to constant fatigue from trying to somehow please. And in the latter, from the inability to build a future life with a too stubborn person who does not want to look in one direction in life, and also to look for common themes and interests.

The man has lost interest

Time always makes adjustments to the lives of each of us. It changes everything, and the feelings and thoughts of a young man are no exception. In order for the flame of love not to go out, it, like any fire, requires constant feeding. Therefore, there is no need to immerse yourself in everyday life and relax. Otherwise, the man will miss the spark. To prevent this from happening, you must try to avoid the situations described below, which are typical for women who do not feel their partner, who have become too predictable, who have neglected themselves.

Inability to understand your partner . It seems that in a couple, people feel each other especially subtly and can explain any action of their beloved. However, this is not always the case. It is important to be able to say the words a man needs at the right moment in order to please, encourage or motivate him. After all, the misunderstanding that arises causes resentment and resentment. And if these negative feelings appear frequently, the gap between two once loving people widens. Be empathetic and use your feminine instincts.
There are no new emotions . Of course, in every couple, sooner or later stagnation may occur. But this does not mean that you need to fill every day with unusual events. To remain interesting, a woman can simply maintain a certain mystery and perform spontaneous actions. Such a companion will always win compared to the one who is an open book, and also completely read. Men are conquerors by nature. And in a personality that has been fully mastered, interest quickly disappears, and one wants to go on to new feats. Therefore, try to surprise your partner from time to time, do not reveal all your cards at once.
Disrepaired appearance . This is one of the most common reasons for the fading of male interest. Of course, you may have been living together for a long time, or you have a lot of things to do and don’t have enough time for yourself. However, this is not a reason to neglect your appearance. Delegate your responsibilities, because a beautiful, blooming wife emphasizes the status of a man. For her sake, I want to try, give gifts and give compliments; it’s not a shame to go out with someone like that. Everyone is flattered that his companion is trying for him, and this motivates him to keep the bar high.

This list contains the reasons why a man stopped loving a woman and explains his psychology. Therefore, trust your intuition, try to understand your partner. This will help maintain harmony in relationships and strengthen the union. You will know how to surprise your lover and remain attractive to him not only internally, but also externally.

Focus on yourself

Living if your husband doesn’t love you becomes very emotionally difficult. You may find yourself constantly thinking about your spouse. What is he doing, why did he stop loving you, where is he now, who does he spend time with? What made him stop loving, and when did he stop? Although these questions and feelings are natural, you need to learn to control your thoughts.

This means that you need to stop endlessly thinking about your spouse and overcome your obsession with him. You need to start rebuilding your self-respect and understanding what it means to truly love and care for yourself.

In order for others to love and respect you, you must love yourself. To do this, you will have to provide practical, tangible changes in life. Maybe that means losing weight, going back to work, or spending more time with the people you value. Maybe that means starting to get up early to exercise.

Start writing down your goals and taking specific actions to achieve them.

SIGNS that a man doesn’t love – Fact No. 2

1.He said he doesn't love me

A man might say this for two reasons.

First , he told the truth so that you would leave him behind and understand everything.

The second is that he manipulates you in this way, trying to break your will, bend you, subjugate you psychologically. That is, in the second case, in such a cruel way he tricks you into the behavior he needs.

Now, be careful. A loving man will never do either the first or the second. After all, “horseradish is not sweeter than radishes.” It makes no difference whether he told you that he doesn’t love you or whether he is harshly manipulating you. Because he doesn’t love – in both cases!