Incredible facts
Refusing someone can be difficult and awkward. You don’t want to break his heart with careless words, and at the same time, you don’t want to give him vain hopes.
You've been on one or more dates and realized that you're not too interested in going on more dates. How to explain this to a guy or man politely, without cutting off the connection completely and without offending him?
In matters of the heart, it is important to be honest, but also try to be tactful.
Fortunately, there are several beautiful ways to gracefully refuse a guy.
You can use ready-made phrases or change them at your discretion, and also listen to a few psychological tips.
Be honest and straightforward
Honesty is the best solution if you don't want to hurt people unnecessarily. First, you need to be honest with yourself. Everyone deserves a chance, but sometimes we just know things aren't going our way. If you do not feel any attraction, then it is better not to delay in refusing.
Secondly, you need to be honest with him. Don't make things up, be kind and frank. If you are simply not interested in this person, say so. You don't have to explain anything, but if you do have a reason why you can't or don't want to date at this time, state it clearly and concisely.
When it comes to rejection, it is always better to be active rather than passive. Don't waste time by avoiding meetings or hoping your potential partner will take the hint. Deal with it as soon as you get the chance. Give a clear refusal so you can both move on.
Refusing a date is not easy, but it is possible: the main thing is honesty and tact.
Beautiful pictures of love in movies and books always set the mood for romantic relationships, fairy-tale love, and reciprocity. Couples meet at the institute, at work, in a fitness club, in a cafe.
But with the advent of the pandemic, virtual relationships that are developing in social networks and related applications are becoming increasingly popular. The real and virtual worlds connect diverse audiences, different interests and goals. Experience shows that this is not always sympathy for each other, so modern communication is often different from the magic of melodrama about the happiness of romance and love.
Contacts with the opposite sex suggest that one person may not be interested in the other, much less in a romantic relationship. Everyone is pleased when they invite you on a date, show attraction and care. Therefore, it is difficult to refuse a date if the proposal is sudden and the feelings are not mutual.
If you want to be polite and even noble, but you are not happy with the prospect of meeting this or that person asking you out on a date, our advice will definitely come in handy. So, in order not to hurt your dignity, pride and not to make an enemy in the person of your counterpart, we follow the basic rules of etiquette:
Treat others the way you would like to be treated
A straight "no" can sound quite harsh if you don't deliver it tactfully. You have no reason to be offended or disgusted (unless they are truly intentionally aggressive and disgusting). It's flattering to like someone, so be polite and try to show a little appreciation. Remember how much courage it takes to open up to another person.
Finally, don't talk about what happened. If you are in the same company as this person, do not tell anyone about what happened. If you refuse someone, they already feel rejected, there is no need to add embarrassment to this.
He was more than 15 minutes late
Being late is a woman's prerogative. It is men who must languish in anticipation of their beautiful ladies. The guy must arrive on time or even a little earlier. And if he stays for more than 15 minutes without warning, it means he is neglecting you. In principle, if a quarter of an hour has passed since the appointed time, and still no gentleman, you can leave.
Rapper Basta's daughters are growing up as beauties, matching their mother: photo
Researchers discover cause of cat allergies by studying venomous monkeys
Gazmanov's wife showed how her husband's new video was filmed: fans are delighted
Focus on yourself with “I” statements
If you decide to explain to someone why you are not interested in them, try to focus the argument on yourself, not on the other person. Listing reasons why a potential partner is not worthy of you sounds rude and condescending, and it can hurt your interlocutor's self-esteem. Instead, psychologists advise using “I” statements, for example:
- “I don’t see you that way, I’m sorry.”
- “I really enjoy talking to you, but I don’t feel a connection between us.”
- “I’m focused on myself right now, so I’m not interested in dating anyone.”
- "I think you're great, but I'm looking for something else right now."
This way you don’t put yourself above or belittle your interlocutor, but simply explain your point of view. Think of it as an early dissertation on “It’s not you, it’s me.” Only in this case it doesn’t hurt as much as when breaking up.
Types of men
How to recover from stress and gain strength for women and men
When approaching a strange woman, a man is actually showing great courage. It is logical that sharp refusals without the opportunity to express oneself at least a little destroy man’s dignity and further desire to act. There are those who will not attach importance to such a failure, but other individuals will lose faith in themselves, and trust in women will fade away.
Refusal to get acquainted destroys self-esteem
Among men, the following types are distinguished:
- Business. Self-confident, dominant, will make all decisions independently. However, failures in business make him a depressed type, nervous and distrustful.
- Dreamer. He plans something that is unlikely to ever come true. This person is a match, i.e. a new idea flares up quickly, but immediately fades away. He needs a decisive woman who can take responsibility for making family decisions.
- Single. A type close to the Excellent, but he needs time alone with himself. This should not be confused with the concept of “relaxing at a bar with friends” from your beloved; he needs to devote time to himself. Calm, kind, but will not tolerate a showdown.
- Excellent student. The one who performs actions as well as possible. Such men are looking for kind, compliant companions.
- Depressed. A temporary state of a man, transitional. As an example, we can name those who suffered a divorce, separation, or other troubles, which makes them vulnerable.
In relationships with women, men's behavior can change. Some become “fathers” who happily take care of their beloved. Others' priority will be sex, i.e. they are good “lovers”. Still others are more like a “romance hero” from a favorite romance book: dignified, sensitive, soft. “Jealous people” are common, sometimes taking a minor problem to an inappropriate state. There are “cool heads” who enter into relationships of convenience, nothing more.
Show that your answer is final
When you reject someone, do it kindly but firmly, so that your interlocutor understands that the answer is final. Don't keep people on the hook. You may think it's nice that you suggest "staying friends" or "getting to know each other better first," but this will only give hope to your interlocutor and will backfire on you.
After a refusal, even a friendly call or message on a social network can convince you that all is not lost and it’s worth trying further. So don't give hope to a person if there is none. Offer to remain friends only if you have firm confidence that your interlocutor will be able to withstand the relationship in this way. Otherwise, he may think that your “no” means “not now” or “I need to be won over first.”
He constantly talked about his ex
It's completely abnormal to start dating a new girl by talking about your past relationship. A first date is a time to get to know each other, not to dwell on the past. If a guy constantly talks about his ex, then most likely he is still thinking about her, and he is just trying to fill the void with you. It's no better if a guy throws mud at his past lover.
For fans of virtual: do not answer or formulate answers briefly
If most of your dating takes place online, then it may be more difficult for you to get rid of an obsessive admirer. Internet users have no idea who you are and tend to meet as many people as possible. Therefore, unless a potential partner wrote something personal based on studying your profile, you can safely ignore him. By even responding to someone you know you don't like, you're again giving false hope and dragging yourself into a conversation that will only waste your time.
If you still want to respond so as not to seem rude, then online dating experts (there are some!) advise wording the phrases as follows:
- “I looked at your profile. I think you're cool, but I don't see us as a couple, so I don't think we should go on a date. I don't want us to waste each other's time."
- “I already kind of had my eye on someone on the site and I don’t think it’s fair to date you while I’m trying to make things work with someone else. I hope you find who you are looking for."
How to maintain friendships and continue communication
Refusal is always accompanied by unpleasant experiences and negative consequences.
Every woman can prevent them by choosing the right strategy of behavior.
Effective advice from psychoanalysts will help maintain friendship and continue communication correctly:
- Support. A close friend who has been rejected is probably depressed. Despite this, it is necessary to constantly encourage the man.
If you specifically look for a meeting, trying to console a friend, he will think that the girl has feelings for him.
It is enough to accept the young man’s communication and continue to maintain friendly ties. Mutual acquaintances. Most cases indicate that after a refusal, a guy and a girl still have mutual acquaintances and friends.
Meet in common companies, have fun, communicate. Then you shouldn’t cross the line and behave as if the refusal was not sincere. Keep your distance. From the moment when the girl beautifully refused the young man, it is worth paying attention to the behavior.
Inform the man that from now on communication will become friendly.
For a young man to be offended, it is enough to completely stop communicating with him. The approach promises trouble, but if it is the only way out, use it.
Adhering to the suggested advice, do not be afraid to refuse men who are not to your liking. Follow a tactful and delicate strategy - then you can forget about emotional worries.
Almost every girl sooner or later has the need to properly break off a relationship with a guy, or refuse to meet a fan, trying not to offend him. This situation can arise either a week after the start of dating or after six months of a relationship.
A well-mannered woman thinks through such moments in advance, because it is not without reason that they say that everything in life comes back: today you stopped answering calls without clarifying the situation, and one day they will do the same to you. In addition, as you know, men take rejection very sensitively, so it is important to choose the right words and the right tone to soften a conversation that is unpleasant for both of you.
Take the initiative if the other person is too persistent
Sometimes you realize that you will refuse a person exactly at the moment when he talks to you. Maybe he behaves too provocatively or seems interested only in getting your phone number (you never know, he suddenly collects them).
In this case, take the initiative into your own hands. If someone persistently asks for your number, respond with something like, “Why don’t you give me your number instead and I’ll call you.” Your interlocutor will feel that he has achieved his goal and will leave you alone.
