How to impress a girl? 7 rules for a first date

A strong will, high moral qualities, flexible intelligence and wit, kindness and generosity - all this may be in you, but in order to have time to reveal your potential and demonstrate the most attractive character traits, you need time, which will not be available if the first game - a date - you will lose outright.

Therefore, the first date with a girl should be prepared as carefully as possible, unless, of course, you believe in fate or the great Random, who will put everything in its place on his own, and if something doesn’t work out, then this is simply not your person, and he you don't need it.

We'll tell you how a guy should behave correctly on a first date and what he should and shouldn't talk about with a girl he doesn't know well, even if you really liked her.

Preparation

In general, preparation can take place within two strategies:

• Naturalness. You behave approximately the same way you always behaved, without trying to portray something that, in principle, you never were. Advice: if you are a weightlifter and wholeheartedly support a healthy lifestyle, you don’t need to wear glasses, a suit and quote Brodsky out loud in thirty-minute monologues.
• Game of masks. Let’s say a girl you see is crazy about bikes and dreams of joining one of the elite biker clubs. You have an idea about two-wheeled beasts only from watching the movie “Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man,” but you want to give the impression of “that guy.” Advice: serious preparation will be required, a comprehensive study of the issue and the party, a lesson in riding a bike.

Which strategy should you choose? Depends entirely on your intentions. If you are considering a girl as a future partner for a long-term relationship together, it is pointless to portray another person - you cannot build a long-term relationship on such a foundation. All the same, the person who is with you every day will split the deception very quickly.

If you don’t make any far-reaching plans, why not play? In the end, new emotions and meetings help to pleasantly diversify the time. And who knows, maybe in a new hobby and a new “mask” you will find yourself and discover new sides of your character.

Venue selection

It is impossible to give one hundred percent recommendations on where to go on a first date. It is only possible, having certain statistics, to outline several options.

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All sorts of zoos, water parks, ice skating and horseback riding should be left for the second or third date. On a first date, you will do more talking than acting, so you need a calm environment that is conducive to conversation.

From here, three classic options emerge:

• Restaurant. A good restaurant is, frankly speaking, not a cheap pleasure. And most can only afford it once. On the other hand, a restaurant is the most suitable venue for a first date. A separate table or office, dim lighting, good music, and a wide selection of food and drinks are conducive to conversation. In addition, almost all good restaurants are themed (Czech, Chinese, “sea”). Therefore, you will not lack topics for conversation - about culture, culinary traditions, philosophy, and so on.
• Cafe. Here we do not mean the Russian understanding of the word “cafe”, which can hide both a shawarma stall and a purely Soviet canteen. We mean a European-style cafe - that is, a modestly furnished establishment with a summer terrace, located closer to the historical center of the city and its pedestrian part. Along the way you will stop and stop in for a cup of coffee and cake.
• Walk in nature. Cheap, cheerful, environmentally friendly. Where can a young man get money to pay the bill at a decent restaurant? After all, you are young, so a walk under the trees with the setting sun is perceived as quite informal, romantic.

All of the options listed are good. The choice depends on two factors: the financial capabilities of the inviter and the wishes of the girl. Most likely, you talked a little before you decided to ask her out on a date, and are already a little aware of her preferences. It is worth taking them into account, synthesizing them with your financial situation, and choosing some kind of compromise option.

Appearance

Appearance makes sense to correlate depending on the location of the date. Bolshoi Theater - wearing a tracksuit, even from Adidas, is inappropriate. Picnic in nature - a classic three-piece with a cane will look ridiculous.

It is best to dress simply and comfortably: the main thing is that the clothes are clean and look more or less new.

• Restaurant - full compliance with the dress code, classic shirt in light colors, suit (pants and jacket), classic shoes in the color of the suit. The only liberty you can take is to replace the tie with a pocket square. Cufflinks, watches, and men's bracelets are welcome.
• Cafe – casual style, sports jacket or blazer with a cutout, trousers or chinos, boots or classic sneakers (just, for God’s sake, don’t take the sporty option).
• Walking – a light T-shirt, preferably with elbow-length sleeves, dark blue or indigo jeans, in case it’s cold, grab a sweater or cardigan, and monks or moccasins for your feet.

Please note that you do not need to wear really new, just purchased clothes or shoes - this may let you down (chafe or crush). Psychologists recommend avoiding bright, flashy colors in clothes, as this reveals an insecure person and irritates the interlocutor. Black and other too dark tones will make a not very pleasant, mournful impression. The best choices are dark blue, light brown and beige.

Meet and Greet

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Psychologists say that already in the first 40 seconds a girl subconsciously evaluates a man. If during these forty seconds a positive impression has not been formed, on the date itself she will in every possible way - again subconsciously - look for shortcomings. That's why the first impression is so important.

“Hello” or “hello” should be said in a confident, calm and bold tone. No timidity or shyness. You can smile a little. But only slightly! A bad smile will make a bad impression.

It’s better not to hug a girl when you meet - you don’t know each other well enough yet, why this familiarity? But eye contact should be maintained. You shouldn’t devour a girl with your eyes - such a look makes you feel uncomfortable. But to take your eyes off her right away means to instill doubt in her that there is something wrong with her appearance and choice of outfit. How is it necessary? “Look” at her all and give her a compliment, noticing some detail. Something like “wonderful shoes,” “cool color of the dress,” “you look gorgeous!”

General rules

Any person tends to avoid an uncomfortable state. This may sound trivial, but it is important for success:

• Be open and positive
• Don't be judgmental or jealous
• Don't show that all this is very important to you
• Do not complain
• Don't scold her

Just as she tends to avoid discomfort, she is drawn to entertainment.

• Be cheerful and playful - it's better than being stern or too smart
• Be a challenge for women. They love it.
• Be a little unpredictable. Predictability breeds contempt.
• Highlight your interests
• Be social

Topics for conversation

What you can't talk about

Let's start with the second point - never talk about:

• Former,
• Sex,
• Diseases,
• Money,
• Negative.

We're not saying these topics shouldn't be discussed in a relationship. On the contrary, it is very necessary. But not on the first date. They create an unpleasant atmosphere from which you want to escape, they are stressful, and they deprive communication of ease. The topic of financial status gives you the feeling that you are at an interrogation or interview.

As for the last point, here we are talking about whining: “I don’t like my job, I hate riding in public transport at rush hour, I have absolutely no friends, I don’t know how to cook or ride a bike, the very type of oysters makes me feel bad, I recently had a fight with my mom,” and so on.

What is there to talk about?

Here are the TOP most long-lasting and enjoyable topics:

• Music,
• Food,
• Trips,
• Books,
• Movies,
• Childhood (positive moments),
• Animals,
• Dreams and plans.

The main thing is not only to talk, but also to listen; it’s inconvenient if a girl waits for 20 minutes for her turn to speak while you shower her with details about how wonderful you are. The advice also works in the opposite direction: you shouldn’t play silent and just listen to the girl (she didn’t hire to entertain you, after all).

How to spend a first date with a girl - tips

Your first date - why not worry? You are already hesitant at the very thought of a date, thinking about your first words, trying to plan everything perfectly, worrying about how to make the meeting unforgettable. Are you afraid of not being liked, realizing that you have little experience with ladies? What is appropriate, you wonder, to talk to a girl about? Taking her hand on a walk or kissing her, or is that unnecessary? You dream of coping with the excitement that literally covers you, preventing you from controlling yourself, without even thinking about getting pleasure, although it should be the basis of your communication. You know, the first date will definitely leave an impression on the girl, and you want to appear in a favorable light in front of her, be remembered, and interest her so much that she looks forward to new invitations. After all, every guy competes for the attention and recognition of women with other men; when he really likes a girl, the guy is ready to give his best in order to win the sweetheart of his heart.

So, how to go on a first date with a girl? The tips offered below will help you please the girl by controlling the situation so that the date is comfortable and conducive for both.

How to talk to a girl on the first date? First of all, it is you who should have pleasure from your communication with the girl, you both should feel comfortable, communication must certainly be free, natural, relaxed, which will confirm your compatibility.

Communication with a woman should not be radically different from spending time with close friends or relatives, in which you freely say what you want, without filtering, without wondering how they will react. If you want to tell, you just share it with your loved ones. You share your emotions and mood with them. It would be strange if, when telling your loved ones, you would like to specifically form some impression on them about you. So, the young lady will also feel whether you are natural or want to impress her at any cost. She will be more likely to perceive your state if you yourself are comfortable - she will also like the date, but if you are tense - then, regardless of what exactly you tell her, she will also be tense. And since women live by emotions, this is the effect she will remember as the result of your date. Therefore, your goal will be to get yourself in the right mood for your first date with a girl, to provide yourself with comfort and confidence in advance, and to identify details that destabilize your state.

Rather, you are experiencing excitement and anxiety in connection with past experiences, complexes or existing negative attitudes regarding communication with ladies. It happens that the feeling of fear before a first date is so strong that a guy wants to avoid it at the last moment, cancel it, or even come, but if possible, unable to cope with his excitement, hastily end it.

When you wonder how best to spend your first date with a girl, you are on the right track, because having sorted out what is bothering you, you may not leave a trace of your fears. If you find that you are unable to cope with your anxiety yourself, you can attend a special course on communicating with ladies or an individual consultation with a psychologist.

However, in practice, help is rarely needed, and a little psychological education, as well as preparation for the first date, resolves this issue. In this article, you will find practical tips that will help you regain control of the situation, go on a date being yourself, and make communication authentic and unforgettable.

How to talk to a girl on the first date? Remember that there are no universal tips, take only those that do not go against the individual style of your communication, because when you put on a mask, it will not be organic, you will get tired of constantly maintaining someone else’s image in yourself, and the lady will be at a loss, not understanding, why have you changed so much? This note is especially important when you are looking for a young lady for a long-term trusting relationship.

Don’t strive to be perfect, because in the end our loved ones love us for our shortcomings, which for them are the piquant features of our personality. Of course, they should seem like only highlights; you shouldn’t dump all your negative qualities and traits on the young lady. Be with her as you yourself want to be, as you are with yourself alone. It is important here that you accept yourself, that you feel comfortable within yourself, that you personally feel good alone with yourself. Because only then is it possible to build good relationships. Many people run away from themselves into relationships, as if hoping that the other person will save them from loneliness and problems. This is especially unsuitable as a course of action for men. You can build a harmonious relationship only if you understand yourself, when you feel like a complete, self-sufficient person, when you like yourself.

Demonstration of gentlemanly qualities

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You can talk as much as you like about the fact that we live in the 21st century, and the time of sublime ladies and prim gentlemen is long over, but any girl will be pleased if you show unobtrusive care and emphasize that you treat her like a lady:

• Pull your chair back when she sits down
• Open the car door
• Help me put on outerwear and accept the removed clothes,
• Offer your jacket if you are walking outside and it gets chilly,
• Call a taxi or at least offer this option.

There should not be too many such manifestations, they should not be intrusive, otherwise it will be perceived as some kind of affectation and untimely, frantic adherence to the norms of etiquette instead of live human communication.

Swap meet

Walking through a flea market, you can find many interesting and rare things that no one else has. If you are both lovers of mysteries and antiques, a topic for conversation will come naturally.

To provide your significant other with comfort during a walk, immediately discuss the financial side. Tell them that you will pay for the purchases yourself.

You should not divide the checks in half, as the girl may regard this as greed. You invited your friend on a romantic date, which means you need to take care of her comfort.