How to easily get over a breakup with your girlfriend: TOP effective ways

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Category: Current, Video, How to get your ex back, Problems in relationships, Psychology

“When it is too late to go back to start things right, it is not too late to rush forward to finish things right.”

— Osho

Hello, Roman Vinilov is here ! Now we will talk about an unpleasant but important topic - about separation and how to behave correctly after a breakup.

Back in the late 1960s, two psychiatrists, Thomas Holmes and Richard Ray, created a stress scale on which a variety of life events were ranked. So, divorce or separation from a loved one on this scale takes 2nd place (the death of loved ones is in 1st place). Yes, breaking up with your beloved girlfriend or wife, especially if it did not happen on your initiative, is always painful and difficult. But life goes on, even if it seems to you that it has lost its meaning. And now I will tell you how to survive a breakup with a loved one without consequences in the form of prolonged depression or failures in your personal life.

How to get over a breakup with your girlfriend

When a woman reports a breakup, it is a huge shock. At the beginning, you are not ready to accept the fact that everything is over and do not agree with the choice of your partner. You try to find out the reasons and quickly fix everything, but it does not bring results.

The pain of loss can cause tantrums, nervous breakdowns and even deterioration in health. The very fact that a man most often closes himself off from others only aggravates the situation. Here is a short list of what you need to do to cope with the passing of a loved one:

• Accept the fact that the relationship is over.
• Stop looking for someone to blame.
• Don't try to change the situation.
• Don't close yourself off from loved ones.
• Stop fantasizing or hoping for reconciliation.

To recover from a breakup, you need to accept reality, no matter how difficult it may be. You may be able to get your loved one back in the future. But first, you both need time to calm down and think about what happened.

By trying to convince your ex-partner, you risk only aggravating the situation and completely alienating your loved one. Do not sort things out on emotions, do not throw hysterics and do not threaten! This is the right path to the point of no return.

The most common mistake is to hold on to relationships that have long outlived their usefulness. After breaking up, give yourself and your partner time to sort out your feelings and priorities. In the meantime, improve other areas of your life. After all, it often happens that problems at work negatively affect love relationships. And do not interfere with third parties in your “showdowns”. Don't discuss your ex-girlfriend with your friends, because if you do make up, you'll look stupid.

If your breakup has been brewing for a long time and has finally happened, think about whether it’s worth renewing your relationship with this girl? After all, love should bring joy and happiness, and not a constant headache.

Isolate yourself from your ex-girlfriend completely, no calls or messages. No “random” meetings or mutual friends. After some time, you will understand whether your ex is worth trying to get her back or is it time to move on to new shores.

What to do if you can't forget?

You can decide how to move on with your life if time has passed since the breakup, and the man is still in love and cannot forget his ex-girlfriend, with the help of tips from experts. Among their advice, the following points are considered the most effective:

• getting rid of all things that remind a man of his former passion (photos, her gifts, phone number, etc.);
• distraction from bad thoughts by traveling to another city, visiting new places and establishments;
• enjoying freedom and favorite things;
• avoiding any contact with your ex-girlfriend;
• refusal of further friendship with her;
• preserving in memory not only good memories, but also bad deeds, so as not to idealize your ex-girlfriend;
• meeting new girls and flirting will help increase self-confidence and amuse the hurt male ego.

The most difficult thing to break up with a girl is if the man does not understand the reasons for the breakup. You can call the girl for a frank conversation, or you can independently analyze the situation, determining the lack of future between former partners. Only accepting the situation as a given will help to gradually erase from the memory and heart everything connected with the ex-chosen one.

Advice from psychologists

Representatives of the fair sex often do not think about how guys experience parting with their beloved. The closer and dearer the partner was, the harder it is to survive and accept the end. In order to pass this test without injury, it is important to maintain faith in a better future and love for life.

Psychologists advise creating a new daily routine so that you are constantly busy with things. If you have no time to indulge in sad thoughts, then rehabilitation will go faster. Work as much as possible, especially in the first weeks. Try not to be alone for long periods of time.

To get new experiences, sign up for a gym, attend several meetings on interests, and start learning a foreign language. Read more, especially fiction, psychological and motivational books.

Don’t know how to stop suffering and how to distract yourself from depressive thoughts? Some people benefit from the company of friends and relaxation, while others, on the contrary, need a lot of physical and mental work. It wouldn’t hurt to visit a psychologist and talk through all the accumulated problems, and after that register on the eDarling website and meet beautiful girls.

There is one practice aimed at achieving spiritual harmony. It consists of writing a Letter in which you must fully and completely express all your thoughts, feelings, worries, doubts and wishes.

With the help of such a “dialogue” with another person, you free yourself from the burden and give yourself a great chance to start over with a clean slate. There is no need to send this letter to the real addressee, but if you want, why not.

To write, choose a time when no one will disturb or distract you. You should feel comfortable and calm. Before you begin, answer a few questions:

• “What do I regret most?”
• “Why can’t I forgive myself?”
• “What did this relationship give me?”
• “What have I learned and what do I still need to learn?”

Write, addressing yourself as yourself or the person with whom your experiences are connected. Write by hand, “I’m sorry that...”, “if only I could then...”. Put all your thoughts on paper, let them exist in real life, and not just in your head.

Trust your intuition, and you will end up with a long list of complaints, grievances and regrets. Listen carefully to your feelings. In the process of writing this letter, you may encounter all the negative emotions that have been accumulating inside for a long time: pain, anger, sadness, disappointment.

Continue writing until you feel relief. Most likely, in the end you will be able to look at the situation from a different angle, understand many of the nuances and draw conclusions that you had not even thought of before. Let go of your past, throw out all your feelings, so you can move on from the breakup faster and easier.

Mistakes and their psychological consequences

Typical mistakes made after leaving a relationship:

1. They will pretend that everything is fine. In this case, negative emotions accumulate rather than spill out.
2. Try to remain friends. It will be difficult to go through all the stages and reach the acceptance stage.
3. To take revenge. Loss of respect from your ex-partner and friends.
4. Continue to communicate even by phone or text. Each time it causes new painful emotions.
5. Run after your ex-partner, ask him to come back. It will push the person away even more and cause a feeling of hostility.
6. Meet periodically for intimacy. There remains hope for return, the stages of loss are not lived through, the situation drags on for a long time.
7. Starting a new relationship right away without letting go of the past is a repetition of previous mistakes.
8. Fall into deep depression, try to solve the problem by drinking alcohol or using illegal substances. In this case, the depressive state will only intensify.

Protective reactions of the psyche to stress

1. Negation. A person during a period of stress convinces himself in every possible way that he is right. An excellent quote to describe this psychological reaction of our psyche would be: “She will return and everything will be fine.”
2. Crowding out. Psychological defense, which does not help to survive the pain of separation, but on the contrary creates a side effect of chronic pain. The psyche seems to crowd out bitter thoughts about the breakup and create new ones: “It will hurt and it will go away.”
3. Regression. There are two ways to develop psychological defense against stress in regression. The first way is hysteria, in which there is a primitive removal of responsibility for one’s feelings. The second way is fading. It is more dangerous for humans because a person literally “suspends” the basic needs for food, water, will and desire to live. With the latter, depression may develop, which will have to be eradicated in a psychologist’s chair.
4. Sublimation. This psychological defense is similar to “blindness” to one’s experiences. In a state of sublimation, a person does not work through his pain points, but replaces the pain with work or any other activity in order to forget his “blind and bitter” thoughts.
5. Acute reactions, aggression towards others and self-aggression. A person in this state replaces pain with alcohol, promiscuity, or inflicting physical pain on himself (in the literal sense of the word).
6. Psychological compensation. For many people, it is important to assume that they control more than they can afford. In a compensatory reaction, a person creates the illusion that he is in control of the process. Blocking a former partner on social networks or vice versa, creating situations in which in one territory it is possible to control what a person does and how he behaves.

All these psychological mechanisms of the psyche during evolutionary development were created in order to enable the body to take care of a person. After all, you and I are the only creatures who play mind games.

4/ The fourth commandment. Don't do anything for show and don't live out of spite

After breaking up with a person, minimize any contact. Delete his number in your phone book so you don’t accidentally stumble upon him. Delete all correspondence. Put all your joint photographs out of sight (at least to some very distant cloud, where you won’t look for other archives). Unfollow your ex on social media. Let nothing remind you of them. If you have a common company (or common children, which, of course, is more difficult), think about how you can minimize communication. If there is an opportunity to change the situation, to leave for a while, feel free to drop everything and leave. The main thing is, don’t do anything out of spite, for show, out of a desire to prove. All this takes energy. And now you need what gives you strength: healthy sleep and nutrition, daily routine, sports, art, communication with interesting people, work, self-care, family environment. These are the areas of life that any person can rely on. And this is what gives energy. Even just following a daily routine and getting good, regular sleep will help you a lot.

And stop doing it already

Why do you need to go through the entire process?

Everyone, one way or another, goes through the stages of breaking up with a partner . This is an integral part of the consciousness of any person, a farewell rite. It is natural that during the period of a joint relationship, a man’s life changes qualitatively.

As time passes, partners influence each other’s thoughts, feelings and experiences. You can’t go back to the way of life you had before you met the girl in one day.

The stages of separation are a protective reaction of the human psyche, which protects against the development of deeper stress.

Do men experience relationship breakups?

A man will definitely miss his beloved after breaking up. It’s not always about mutual feelings; situations can be different:

• a man has been wooing a woman for a long time;
• the girl helped overcome a life crisis;
• long-term and harmonious relationships;
• strong emotional attachment.

Even after one night spent with a woman, a man can remember her for a long time. It all depends on the impression made on him. Guys suffer even more than girls, because representatives of the fair half of humanity are accustomed to sharing emotions with friends and using rational ways to combat depression.

Men, keeping everything to themselves, often find peace in alcohol and promiscuity . Mistakes made only delay the onset of humility and adjustment, and, therefore, the process of separation gives them much more mental pain.

Will I be able to get her back?

The good news is that breakups very often lead to the girl returning after a while. But I still wouldn’t advise you to think about it or hope for it. Yes, this happens often, but only if you mind your own business and have no contact with your ex. In addition, purely psychologically, it is better not to keep this possibility in mind. I advise you to mentally let go of your ex and come to terms with the fact that you will continue to live without her.

Most of the men who come to us manage to get their ex back. We don't give 100% guarantees, but we have the most effective methods. The paradox is this: if you want her back, you first have to let her go. Therefore, now it doesn’t matter at all whether you are going to return her or not. Now you need to get over breaking up with her.