Relationships with a married man: why do women and men need this?

Every single woman, while searching, feels a catastrophic shortage of worthy representatives of the stronger sex. Moreover, the number of women on the planet exceeds the number of men, and everyone wants love and care.

The format of relationships, where she is free, attractive, and he is successful, interesting, but, alas, married, has long become ubiquitous. Although not so long ago, such a relationship was considered a disgrace for a woman, and relationships with married men were avoided. Why are such relationships needed, and what do they lead to? Let's try to figure it out.

Why are married men attracted to women?

There are few reasons for the emergence of such an alliance, and they are all banal. What motivates a woman when she decides to enter into a love affair with a married man?

Love

Love is an unpredictable feeling. It lifts some to the skies, while others can be brought to their knees. But you can’t order your heart, you can’t plan it, and it’s impossible to cope with falling in love. Even if a woman, from the moment she entered conscious age, swore to herself not to start a relationship with a married man, her opinion about such an affair changes.

Every woman subconsciously strives for intimacy with her lover, despite all prohibitions.

Such relationships are never calm and harmonious. A man devotes the lion's share of his time to his legal wife, and the woman suffers from jealousy and helplessness. The affair takes place secretly, which will not allow you to feel proud of your chosen one. Any stories about an alliance are fraught with the risk that rumors will reach the wife, and then the man will begin to reproach the woman or even begin to avoid her.

It is worth distinguishing love from momentary sympathy. To understand what exactly is the driving force, communication with a married man should be limited for a while. If the attraction dulls, it means that he did not evoke a strong feeling. But if you can’t get it out of your head, despite the lack of meetings, then the feeling really exists. But you shouldn’t rush headlong into the pool from the realization of this fact. You need to take a closer look at a man’s behavior and character and understand your readiness to be a mistress.

Important! Sympathy and love must be distinguished!

Money

Many women are materialistic enough to start an affair with a married man because of the financial side of the issue. A woman who endlessly solves money problems on her own becomes overly serious, and fashion, makeup and other components of beauty cease to interest her. The goal of life becomes banal survival.

That is why often the main reason for a relationship with an unfree man is money, and not just love or sex. Men, as a rule, do not skimp on their mistress. From such relationships, they themselves receive communication not only about everyday life, sexual diversity, or a sense of the power of money.

Women don’t often think about why a man needs this novel. Such relationships end when a crisis situation arises in the man’s financial situation or the woman gets tired of being completely dependent on her lover.

Advice! You should not build a relationship with a married man because he is ready to provide. This will invariably lead to depression and moral oppression from total dependence.

New sensations

With a lack of adrenaline, emotional events, when life becomes banally measured, a woman is capable of desperate measures. The development of a romance with a man without a ring is easy to predict; with a married man, on the contrary, there is complete uncertainty and acuteness of sensations.

The need for secrecy for those who are tired of everyday life becomes more attractive than open, honest relationships. Most meetings will be emotional and passionate. No relationship without prohibitions can give such sensations. However, everything passes and such relationships are doomed. The main thing is not to fall in love. As soon as the passions subside, it will become less interesting for a woman to be number two in a man’s life.

Revenge

Women, by nature, are distinguished by rancor, and when a chance arises to take revenge on a long-time offender, it will certainly be brought to life. The value of family ties is ingrained in every girl from an early age, so taking revenge by having an affair with the husband of the offender is probably the sweetest way. Knowing that divorce will have a negative impact on any representative of the fair sex, the woman takes such a rash step.

But there is also the other side of the coin. A woman can fall in love with an instrument of revenge, an unsuspecting man. And in this case, the well-known saying will work: “Don’t dig a hole for others - you yourself will fall into it.”

Habit of spying on others

Almost everyone in childhood was told by their parents the phrases: “look how well the girl behaves, what are you doing?”, “look how neat the girl’s notebook is, and how crumpled yours is!” And that’s how you get used to watching how everything is great with that other girl, unlike you. And even if objectively this is not the case, you will see it the way you were taught.

Why are women attracted to married men?

What another woman took will always seem better than her own. This is the same forbidden fruit. Especially if you only see a picture, a candy wrapper. No one will let you in on all the details of life behind the scenes. And then you meet him, handsome and pleasant. In the photo they are with the whole family, smiling. And you see that the woman who is next to him is happy. It starts to seem to you that this is the problem!

That woman was just lucky, she pulled out this lucky ticket - such a gorgeous man. That's why she feels so good. And you also want to glow like that, next to your beloved man. I also want this beautiful family picture. The option of finding someone like you is immediately dismissed because “there are no such people anymore!” Others are unknown and need to be checked. And here happy faces are a guarantee that it’s good with this man.

Not all mistresses in this case intend to take their husband away from the family. Some people just want to bask in this well-organized family hearth. Especially if you missed it so much in your childhood. And for many years you dreamed that you would grow up and be happy, that you would smile and glow, and that your children would feel good. And all this will happen with the arrival of Him - a wonderful man. And then you won’t be tired and sad like your mother. You will be different.

But you don’t know how to build this happy family. There was no example, so to speak, instructions before my eyes, only dreams. And also fairy tales with their own morals - you have to wait for the prince, be good, maybe you’ll be lucky not to become sea foam. And now he meets you, already with a ready-made beautiful family life. And you, like a little girl, are sincerely drawn to this light.

Why do married men need such relationships?

It would seem that there is a happy family, a beautiful wife, what are men missing? The reasons for an affair “on the side” may be as follows:

The desire to experience new sexual sensations and emotions.
Dissatisfaction in the sexual aspect of life.
Fear that youth is gone forever, and there is still a lot to do.
The desire to show oneself in front of friends as a kind of “alpha male”.
Self-affirmation in the role of an interesting, successful, wealthy man, capable of supporting his mistress.
Lack of moral principles and respect for the spouse.
Lack of understanding and support from the wife and her reluctance to learn about the needs of the man.

This allows him to feel satisfied, satisfied with life and gives him confidence in his own abilities.

A man who comes home and constantly hears reproaches addressed to him will invariably think about the lack of simple human communication. Another woman becomes such an outlet, accepting him for who he is, not paying attention to his shortcomings.

You have to understand that a man goes to his mistress not because he feels better about her, but because it becomes unbearable at home with his wife. No woman can influence a man’s leaving home if family relationships are built on support and mutual understanding. Even if there is a relationship with his mistress, it will not last long.

A man strives to feel powerful and confident. Having a mistress allows you to assert yourself in the eyes of your friends and your own.

Often, a man is not at all unprincipled and is well aware that he is betraying the wife he loves. The mistress, without realizing it, strengthens family ties. How? A man tries, even unconsciously, to justify himself. He becomes caring towards his wife, is more attentive to her requests, and strives to satisfy all her desires and needs. Their sex life also improves noticeably.

I want well-groomed3

If you put next to each other a confirmed bachelor and a man who has been happily married for a long time, the result of the lady's grooming will be immediately visible. Clean, fresh shirts, ironed trousers, pleasant perfume, polished shoes, a modern haircut, fashionable jackets - all this, as a rule, is worn by “married men”. Women do not like it when an out-of-date, unkempt husband is next to them. It's just a shame.

But a bachelor cannot always boast of fashionable new clothes. Of course, there are exceptions, and these exceptions are not so rare, but still. Therefore, needless to say that a fashionista will more quickly appreciate a stylishly dressed man, even a married one, than a bachelor in a jacket from the last century.

In addition, a person dressed in a modern, stylish, beautiful way feels much more confident. He is more willing to engage in conversation, make acquaintances, he behaves freely, which cannot be said about those who do not look 100%.

Why does a woman need a relationship with a married man?

No matter how strange it may seem, a relationship with a non-free man is very attractive for a woman. The reasons for this are as follows:

A woman does not need to use motivating measures and care for a man. He is already successful and well-groomed
There is no need to create an ideal life for a man. The mistress will not do the cleaning, laundry or preparing a three-course dinner for him.
For a woman, a strange man can be compared to a gift in a presentable package. She doesn’t have to see him without a festive wrapper; it falls to her role as a legal wife.
The woman has no need to get married now, but loneliness also weighs heavily on her. In a relationship with a married man, she has complete freedom, because no one owes anything to anyone in this case.
If a man provides his mistress financially, then the woman can significantly improve her financial situation at his expense.
If a woman is not confident in herself or suffers from complexes, then she explains her relationship by the fact that there are not enough normal men who meet her requirements for everyone and her choice is not large.

In addition to the completely understandable reasons listed, women who act as mistresses are often fundamentally mistaken. This happens in the following cases:

The woman considers herself an exception to the rule. Being in a relationship with an unfree man, a woman believes that no matter what the statistics and the stories of her predecessors in such relationships say, she will be the exception and the man will remain with her forever.
A woman unquestioningly and, alas, naively believes a married man that he does not need a wife, and he will definitely get a divorce, but later. The following are a number of reasons why divorce is not happening now. The woman wonders when this happy event will happen for her. The answer is disappointing: never!
The woman is afraid that she will be left alone. Fear clouds her so much that she agrees to be “second” in a man’s life, not realizing that such an approach to relationships is destructive, first of all, for herself.

Everyone is free to make their own decisions and make mistakes. Do not forget that no matter what the relationship with a married man is, over time you will want more, or rather marriage and creating your own family, but a person who is already married will not be able to satisfy this desire.

“Good males are taken apart as puppies”i

Yes, there is such a saying and there is a considerable amount of truth in it. In fact, charismatic, charming, handsome and interesting men are identified in their early youth. How does this work? Very simple. The handsome ones, the lucky ones and the darlings of fate are forgiven a lot, they can do anything. Who doesn’t know that girls only give them their first kisses, only go on their first dates with them, and only they have the right to the first night.

And after the first night there are second, third... and then the guy has nowhere to go. As a rule, a pregnant girl is simply obliged to preserve the father of the future child. In fact, she doesn't mind. And the handsome guy simply has no choice.

This is one of the options. In most cases, the handsome guy himself does not understand how he ends up ringed. But his charisma, charm, beauty, wit - they have not gone away. And they attract not only the wife, but also other connoisseurs of beauty.

Advice from psychologists for those who consciously enter into a relationship with a married man

No matter how profitable an affair with a married man may be, possible consequences are not far off. If the legal spouse finds out about the relationship, the man will not only make a decision in favor of preserving the family, but is also capable of insulting his mistress and ruining the woman’s reputation. She will be the negative heroine of this story.

In such a situation, there is only correct advice - to avoid relationships with married men at all costs. If a woman has already succumbed to temptation and could not resist the charm of a man with a ring on the ring finger of her right hand, then it is recommended to adhere to the following conditions:

You cannot fall under complete financial dependence on a man. Even if he acts as a sponsor and this was the intention, there must be other sources of financing.
Do not interrupt communication with other representatives of the stronger half of humanity and friends.
Keep your own emotions and feelings under control. At the first manifestations of love, it is worth breaking up with a married man until the breakup is painful.
Do not tell anyone about your affair with a married man, not even your closest friends.

An affair with an unfree man ends in a banal way - a breakup. Even if a man leaves the family, the burden of responsibility for his action will fall heavily on his former mistress as well. “You can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune,” says a wise saying. And after all, there are only a few happy couples formed in this way. Whatever the purpose of such an affair, it is better to abandon it and pay attention to free men, relationships with whom will not be built on deception.

Male despair

A woman instantly shows with all her appearance that she needs a permanent relationship and is looking for a man. She dresses beautifully, takes good care of herself, smiles and flirts with pleasure. As a result, a married man who is looking for a one-night love affair will immediately approach such a person. He understands perfectly well that a girl doesn’t mind meeting and having a good time with the opposite sex, but then she becomes uncomfortable when the man quickly gets dressed after sex and hurries to retreat to his legal wife.

It is also worth thinking about your own complexes. If a girl has low self-esteem, then this is immediately noticeable. Men immediately understand that such a lady can easily be dragged into bed for one night, and then even humiliated and elevated in her own eyes.

Psychology of attraction for married people

You should always remember that like attracts like. The Universe always guarantees this; this statement cannot be changed. A person strives to reliably hide all negative qualities and not show it to strangers, but they still remain noticeable to others. You shouldn’t deceive yourself, because everything in the Universe returns not even through the person himself, but through other people. If a woman is selfish and mercilessly hurts the opposite sex, then soon it will come back to her like a boomerang.

If a woman is a mercantile creature and thinks only about money, then soon a tight-fisted and greedy man will appear next to her, who will force her to count every penny. If she is ready at any moment to sacrifice herself for the sake of others, then she will soon find her executioner, sadist and domestic tyrant.

How can a wife understand that her husband has fallen in love with another woman?

Changing your sex life. This can be either a complete lack of sex or unexpected proposals (let's call ourselves by other names, be a waitress today, express yourself differently at night, etc.).
A reverent attitude towards the phone. If your husband previously threw his gadget anywhere, then from now on he always has it at hand, and if your husband doesn’t like your increased attention, then a password will appear on the phone.
Dissatisfaction with yourself. Diet (stop frying eggs in lard, there is cholesterol), active use of perfume, hair styling, frequent shaving, neatness, etc.
Sudden workload. Business trips, constant delays (under the pretext of a quick promotion), urgent projects, endless meetings, difficult assignments, because of which you literally have to spend the night at your workplace. After work, he may come with a slight smell of alcohol (relaxed after a hard day at work).
Changing habitual behavior. These may be sudden mood swings or, conversely, periodic apathy and irritability. If it is unusual for a husband to give gifts, then suddenly he becomes an active suitor (to make amends) or stops being attentive altogether, citing health/busyness/fatigue, etc.

Plus, a man who is madly in love with another woman emotionally distances himself from the one with whom he shares life. Conversations stop about how the day went, what are our plans for the weekend, where will we go on vacation (there may not be one), etc. The husband begins to avoid gatherings with relatives, becomes indifferent to the lives of the children, to any attempts talk frankly, gets angry, laughs it off, gets irritated, provokes a scandal, or asks to postpone the conversation for a more appropriate time (it’s already late, you’ll have to get up early tomorrow, you’ve made up your mind, better get busy).

What to do if the wife realizes the seriousness of the situation is a personal matter for every woman. Some resign themselves, others begin to fight for their family, others cannot forgive betrayal (even supposed). Wise wives still find the strength to reassess their own role for their spouse and look at the relationship anew... There is always a path that leads to a better life, remember this!

Can a married man truly fall in love with another woman? Yes! Can a man whose heart is occupied by his legal wife love another? No, it is impossible to love two representatives of the fair sex at the same time. Do you feel the difference? These will be different emotions, but it’s definitely far from love. Know how to understand yourself, soberly analyze what is happening, and respond correctly to your own feelings. We ourselves are capable of building our own happiness!