Relationships with a married man: features and consequences

1. The truth about having an affair with a married man
2. The benefits of having an affair with a married man
3. Features of an affair with a married man at work
4. 5 tips on how to behave in a relationship with a married man
5. 3 stages of breaking up with a married man

An affair with a married man is, of course, always intriguing and interesting. The very sacredness of the situation already gives me butterflies in my stomach, and my whole life is filled with new meaning. However, is it all so wonderful, and do happy endings happen often?

Disappointing statistics say that the hopes of 15% of women are justified, and the rest, alas, will never be among the lucky ones. We will talk about the peculiarities of such relationships and why girls generally decide to become mistresses, counting on happiness, in this article.

Why married men are attractive

A relationship with a married man looks tempting to some extent. There is more romance in such a union. At the same time, there is no unsightly picture of everyday life, which so often gets boring and eventually begins to irritate. Let's consider the obvious advantages of the current situation.

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If the woman is married

For her, an affair with a married man is a way to get away from everyday life, boring stereotypes of behavior that have become an unsightly routine. The fact is that, while in an official union, you need to maintain the status of a good housewife and faithful wife. Women are forced to stand at the stove for hours, preparing the next culinary miracle, do laundry and cleaning, and go to the store for groceries.

All these habitual actions often exhaust the nervous system and can even cause depression. The mistress does not seek to bind herself to any obligations. You can date for years and still not show anyone the essence of the existing relationship. Diversity prevents you from feeling tired from solving everyday issues.

If she's free

In most cases, the girl expects to someday take the place of her legal wife. Mentally, she competes with her and cannot painlessly perceive the fact of the constant absence of her loved one. Sometimes a partner strives to remain single or cannot decide whether she needs to break up with this particular man. The problem is that not every woman has a full-fledged family as her dream.

Many people, completely unconsciously, protect themselves in every possible way from the so-called “unfree” life. It seems that family life will kill all romance, but relationships with a lover seem interesting, helping to maintain one’s own self-sufficiency.

If the girl is much younger

Usually in this case some protection is visible in the partner. Stability and a happy guarantee of tomorrow are needed. Love relationships allow you to feel self-confidence and feel your own attractiveness. This is often how women maintain their self-esteem.

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To stop communicating means to deprive yourself of pleasure, to stop hoping for the best. Sometimes there are office romances. A nice colleague can significantly brighten up everyday life and say a lot of nice words. Girls become the mistresses of their boss and also strive to get all sorts of benefits from such interaction.

If he's rich

Everything is clear here without unnecessary explanations. Sometimes such “happiness” is perceived as a dream that cannot be broken by a simple effort of will. Many people want to meet a truly wealthy person. It doesn’t matter in what capacity. Modern women think little about paying attention to moral principles. They are simply fighting for a place in the sun, studying current recommendations on how to keep such a man next to them.

If he is Muslim

In countries such as Islam, Syria, Egypt, Algeria, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, polygamy is allowed. It turns out that men get used to not being faithful to one chosen one. Those who cannot support several wives at the same time sometimes resort to such a trick as having an affair on the side. And although such unions are not approved, the young man does not consider himself irresponsible.

But why does a woman agree to be the second person in his life? She just wants to live by her own rules, receive expensive gifts and not think about the consequences. If a Muslim spoils his karma, then this is his sin.

Recommendations from psychologists

The first recommendation of any psychologist in this matter will be unequivocal - do not start such a relationship. A man by nature is always looking for new emotions and impressions; a woman can easily put up with routine and everyday hassles.

The problem with women is that they get attached quickly. Sometimes one or two compliments are enough, and for a woman the words of a charming womanizer become a whole event. However, there are no guarantees that this is the first and last woman in his life.

If such a situation occurs, it is worth considering how the wife feels. She is suffering the most at the moment. Just by putting yourself in her place, you can instantly understand how illusory the promises of the newly made boyfriend are. After all, he swore eternal love to his wife when he got married.

Despite the fact that female nature is extremely emotional and unstable, a woman can always find the strength to end and let go of relationships that do not bring happiness and love. The ideal life partner will soon instantly appear on the horizon and will love sincerely and truly.

Pros and cons of such relationships

The psychology of relationships between a married man and a married woman includes both positive and negative aspects. They must be taken into account if such an alliance already exists. Among the advantages, it is worth noting freedom of movement, lack of responsibilities, constant gifts and attention.

The disadvantages include loneliness, lack of rights to a loved one, and the inability to openly express feelings. As a rule, at first it is interesting to communicate and enjoy each other's company. But the more time passes, the more such connections become more and more burdensome. They are seen as hopeless, devoid of color and a future together.

Lariat a stranger's man4

Loving a married man is not easy, and if a mistress dreams of building a serious and long-term relationship with him, she should make every effort.

To win him over to your side and subsequently migrate to the role of a spouse, you must do the following:

• Never speak ill of your wife. Taking second place in the heart of a beloved man is difficult and offensive, but this does not give the right to insult and ridicule a member of his family. Once he made a choice in favor of this woman, perhaps she is the mother of his children. It will be unpleasant for a man to hear criticism and offensive words addressed to her.
• Talk about a future together just once. There is no need to endlessly appeal to the voice of conscience and cry about long lonely evenings. Such stories will soon become unpleasant and irritating to him. The man will make the proposed choice: in favor of another mistress.
• Taboo on threats. Some mistresses, in desperation, do all sorts of nonsense. They throw notes to the wife with “good news” about her husband’s infidelity, bombard her with messages or phone calls, and blackmail the man into telling the truth to his wife about their affair. You absolutely cannot do such things.
• Life vest. A mistress should be not only a skilled seductress, but also a wonderful comrade. A man should feel comfortable and good not only in bed with a woman, but also during a frank conversation. The “Second Lady” should encourage him, calm him down, admire him, and completely discard his grumpy tone and various complaints.

• The disadvantages of a wife are the advantages of a mistress. If a man complains about his wife, the secret girlfriend should not support his conversation, but reel off the information. Is your spouse a terrible cook? The mistress must master the culinary basics. A man will make the right decision in favor of an excellent “cook” if burnt buckwheat is waiting for him at home, and fragrant meat balls are waiting for him on his mistress’s table.

Consequences of dating a married man

Women rarely think about the fact that interaction with an unfree man can cause psychological trauma. But in fact, such a novel is quite capable of making you doubt yourself.

1. Low self-esteem. The inability to value yourself is the most common consequence. After all, unconsciously a woman still feels used, realizes that she is somewhere on the sidelines. A girl cannot declare her own intentions because she constantly adapts to the man’s schedule. Often she has to suppress negative feelings in the bud so as not to upset her lover in any way.
2. Repetition of the plot. Having barely parted with one chosen one, she soon finds herself the next. The choice is made unconsciously. A woman is guided by internal feelings that she is not aware of. She wants to escape from great despair and hopelessness. But in fact, she comes to inner loneliness.

When is it better to break up?

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Such relationships are often not strong and long-lasting. It’s best not to start them at all if:

• The woman is uncomfortable being in such a relationship; she realizes that the man will not leave his family,
• The relationship has exhausted itself emotionally,
• Relationships are built on the illusion of a wonderful future,
• You have to justify both yourself and the man, and get nothing in return,
• The realization comes that this is a hopeless relationship, built, rather, on an attachment, then the time has come to part.

When making a decision is difficult, the following question plan will help:

• Is it nice that a woman is hidden?
• Do you feel like the future is unclear?
• Isn’t it annoying that you have to plan your vacation with a third party (spouse)?
• What emotions does it evoke when your beloved man is married to someone else?

Honest answers will help firmly put an end to the tormenting relationship.

How to end a novel correctly

If the relationship causes nothing but suffering, then something needs to be done. To come to terms with the current state of things means to adapt to the situation. Losing self-respect, a woman cannot be the one for her chosen one for whom he wants to move mountains.

A love relationship with a married person must be ended calmly, but with firm intention. You can’t doubt, let him convince you. You should carefully prepare for the conversation, think through all possible phrases and responses to painful remarks.

What to do if love is strong

Love is a strong feeling, and perhaps the marriage from which the man is now running away has really become a fatal mistake in the lives of two young people. If there is strong love between you, and you are ready to take on the burden of great responsibility, learn to be wise in order to achieve what you want.

How to build a relationship with a married man?

First, be patient. They spoke about the seriousness of their feelings once and fell silent. The next step is up to the gentleman. While you are taking a wait-and-see attitude, become a real support for your companion, a guiding star, an adviser who will always listen and support. “Honey, it’s not that bad, you’re just tired. You need to rest, otherwise your emotional state will affect your health.”

Secondly, never mention your wife in conversations, especially in negative contexts. Even if a married man himself complains about her, there should be no mention of her in your mouth! It’s better to remember its shortcomings and improve against this background.

Thirdly, always be glad to see him. It doesn’t matter the time, day of the week or how you feel. He is the idol of your life. This advice is especially relevant for older men. For example, the behavior and desires of a married man after 60 years are significantly different from younger lovers. The famous testosterone that drives the male to other “prey” has already faded away, but is replaced by the desire to please other women, teach them, take care of them, and educate them. To be vitally needed by someone (not to children, but to a pretty person who will open her mouth when her mentor appears).

And of course, you must keep your romance in the strictest confidence. The male position on this matter is quite strict: if a married man finds out that a woman takes this point lightly, she risks being immediately abandoned.

But as M. Bulgakov said: “Be afraid of your desires...”. Let's simulate a situation where you finally achieved a married chosen one. What kind of man is this? Handsome, strong, responsible, you say. But psychologists will answer you differently!

As a result, for a relationship as a life partner you get:

• a man who is used to running away from problems (he didn’t honestly resolve crises with his wife);
• a man who has tasted the taste of betrayal;
• in addition, with a man you ALWAYS get his past family (as you know, there are no ex-wives).

In addition, a woman who finds herself (even unwittingly) third in a relationship is unlikely to be able to become happy for other reasons of her own. Subsequently, she herself begins to become pathologically jealous and suspicious of this man. “He was stuck in traffic for 1.5 hours? But he said the same thing to his wife when he dropped by to see me after work?” “Why don’t you pick up the phone for a long time, who calls you in the evening, why are you so tired?” This is a vicious circle in which a woman quickly gets tired and gives up.

Now close your eyes again and answer the question again: “Who is this man that you finally achieved? Are you ready to accept such a treasure? If you are thinking about it, don’t ruin your life. If you are still firmly confident in your feelings, well, no one will dissuade you.

If there is love, a man declares it immediately, but not in words, but in actions. I talked to my wife like a human being, packed my things and gave you the whole world. Everything else is an illusion that deceives you in a relationship with a married man.

Negative aspects of relationships with other people's husbands

No matter how noble a woman is, if she has connected her life with a family man, then in most cases she dreams of hoping to get him out of the family. But such wishes do not often come true, even if the passion is younger and prettier than the legal spouse. Even without memory, having fallen in love with their mistress, married people are afraid of drastic changes that change their usual way of life. They are capable of rushing between two sides for a long time and will not dare to make changes.

The feeling of falling in love will torment a person, and self-deception will drown out the conscience. He will deceive his wife and lie to his mistress that they will soon be together. But ultimately, it will continue until the last.

There is another course of events. When a man really fell in love and leaves his old family with the intention of creating a new one. But there are no guarantees that he will not miss his old life and his children.

Only a few decide to make changes. The majority choose a family where it is customary for them to quarrel and make up with their spouse, remain silent or chat on any topic, go out in public or stay at home. After all, next to your loved one, you don’t need to pretend and seem better. With her you can be yourself and relax. She closes her eyes to many things and can make concessions, but it is unclear how the other will react.

Feelings are feelings, but the man looks at things realistically. Thinking rationally, he will not take risks for the sake of a dubious future, and it will be better to put up with a slightly boring, but familiar family life. Relationships on the side are an outlet that is good in rare moments.

And what should a woman who got involved in this adventure expect?

1. A family man cannot schedule meeting times . He will show up at any time of the day or night. And if a woman shows dissatisfaction with him, she will be upset, since he did not turn her on for reproaches.
2. Your whole life will pass in anticipation . Lonely nights, seeing each other on schedule. He will spend weekends and holidays with his family. And still share a bed with his wife, assuring that he has not slept with her for a long time. Love affairs with your spouse are inevitable, because otherwise she will feel something is wrong.
3. The mistress will have to justify to her environment why her boyfriend rarely appears with her in public and when they will legalize the relationship. Telling the real state of affairs will not be the best idea. Many people condemn this and there are those who will still notify their spouse. It is not known how this will affect the relationship. Most likely they will stop.
4. The idea of ​​separating a married couple becomes the main prerogative of life . For this, a woman goes to any lengths. Calls, threats, and various speculations about an imaginary pregnancy or illness begin. All this only pushes the man away, and the relationship fizzles out. And even if you manage to accomplish your plans, the relationship does not become ideal, since a sediment remains in the feelings of your loved one.

In general, it is generally undesirable to get involved with family men. But it happens that the status of the chosen one becomes known after communication has crossed the friendly line. And if putting an end to it doesn’t work out due to impulses of feelings, then it’s worth understanding what intentions the chosen one is pursuing.

Extramarital affair: consequences of the relationship

A relationship with a married man usually develops in several main directions. The most pleasant, but extremely rare case (about 10%) is when a lover sincerely falls in love, leaves his family, gets divorced and remarries.

A common outcome of an extramarital affair is that the lover becomes fed up with the new relationship, the love affair becomes a burden for him, and he prefers to break up. It is easy to predict further events - the man returns to his wife and continues to live as usual, enjoying the usual comfort and coziness of home. Psychologists warn that old love often flares up with the same intensity, which is facilitated by the feeling of guilt that remains after a relationship with a mistress.

Another option for the consequences of a love affair is that the lovers are satisfied with everything, the extramarital relationship continues for many years. As a result, the union is destroyed on its own (the novelty disappears, the affair becomes a burden) or thanks to the wife, who somehow found out about her rival and decided to put an end to the love affair.

The saddest result of extramarital affairs (a woman and a man are married) is considered to be the divorce of two couples with the creation of a new family. Usually, a marriage built on such a basis does not last long - a man and woman, accustomed to a completely different home structure and way of life, rarely find a common language. It is no longer possible to return to spouses who were abandoned for new love - betrayal is rarely forgiven. The resulting love affair breaks the hearts of four people.

Psychology warns: if you are not planning to create a new family, and a love affair is the most preferable way to relax, enjoy a new relationship and relaxed sex, it is better to set clear boundaries for yourself. If, against the background of sexual entertainment, serious feelings or even infatuation begin to appear, it is better to immediately end the extramarital union, which threatens with unpleasant consequences.

Why do women need married people?

It seems that busy representatives of the male population should seem hopeless to free ladies. But everything happens the other way around. Intuitively, they perceive them as tidbits. After all, when a man decides to get married, it means he is serious and you can rely on him. Or if someone chose him, then he is good enough at something. This is like a guarantee of high quality.

And this is also a way to assert oneself at the expense of another woman. Many believe that if a man, being busy, paid attention to another, then it turns out that she is superior to his constant companion. The forbidden fruit is sweet, the hunters are motivated by something that is difficult to get.

If you like a married guy, but he doesn’t pay much attention to you, then you shouldn’t ruin someone else’s family for your own satisfaction. Even if you are not concerned about moral standards, it is unlikely to end as you dream.

Those ladies who hunt for married men are those who imagine in advance what such a relationship threatens them with. They try with all their might to break up the family, and some are content with falling over. But it happens that young ladies who are inexperienced in these matters and who have a far from mercantile interest in their boyfriend get involved in such messes.

This is understandable, because usually such men look good, are helpful, caring and are not rude. On top of everything else, they don’t get bored every day, don’t impose themselves, don’t show their flaws, trying to present themselves from the best side. This makes your head spin, and your gut doesn’t resist.

Such a relationship will seduce any girl. We saw each other, enjoyed each other's presence and went our separate ways. He doesn’t see what his beloved is like in the morning, doesn’t ask for delicious dinners, doesn’t reproach her for a wrinkled shirt. The mistress, in turn, does not know about his shortcomings, about how loudly he snores and where he throws his socks, if he does it at all.

Relationships with a family man are seductive with their unpredictability, which significantly affects the depth of feelings. The moments of encounters and the inability to fully enjoy them give the novel a certain aura of sublimity. Which of course appeals to young romantic ladies. If you consider yourself to be a sensual person who can rush into the arms of an unfree person, it won’t hurt to learn about the many sad nuances that await you in such relationships.