Psychology of mother-daughter relationships

October 20, 2018
Psychology of relationships
Lyudmila Frolova

Mom is the closest person to each of us. The most dear, gentle and beloved. Even during a woman’s pregnancy, an invisible but very strong connection arises between her and her child, which does not break throughout life.

The relationship between mother and daughter is especially striking. They go through certain stages of development, changing over the years. Having reached a certain age, any girl, as a rule, begins to copy her mother, considering her an example of what a woman should be.

However, often the relationship between mother and daughter is very confusing. They contain a lot of pain and resentment. Close people move away from love, honesty and affection. They are cold and hostile towards each other. In order to prevent a final break and make the relationship harmonious, a woman needs to understand them, avoiding certain mistakes in the future. And for this you will need to become familiar with the psychology of the relationship between daughter and mother.

Birth

The relationship between mother and daughter at the initial stage is a symbiosis of two. The calmest and safest period for the fetus is its first nine months, which it spends in the womb of a woman. Subconsciously, every person remembers that feeling of serenity and strives to find it in the world around them.

Then the baby is born. And this is a difficult test for both him and his mother. Childbirth can be painful and difficult. During birth, some newborns sometimes receive birth injuries, the consequences of which a person sometimes suffers for the rest of his life. This moment is not easy for a woman either. After childbirth, serious hormonal changes occur in her body, financial difficulties arise, and violent emotions appear, ranging from joyful feelings to prolonged depression.

The mother’s condition has a direct impact on the baby’s psyche. But at the same time, a newborn daughter also begins to influence the woman. Sometimes a child who has received certain injuries during childbirth does not respond as actively to affection and intimacy as the mother would like. And this can already become the source of the beginning of misunderstanding in relations between close people.

Despite this, in the first year of a girl’s life, the psychological symbiosis of the mother-daughter relationship continues to persist. After all, the baby is helpless and requires constant attention and care. During this period, the woman devotes all her time to her and introduces her to the world around her.

At the symbiosis stage, girls need their mother's love. They completely trust their loved one and learn many things from him. Mom, in turn, needs the devotion and unconditional love of a little child’s heart. At the same time, she becomes the best and most beautiful in the world for her daughter. If at this stage the girl lacks attention, then she can remain at the stage of symbiosis for a long time. At the same time, in the future the child will try to please the mother in order to win her love. In this case, the child will not develop his own interests.

Growing up

Approximately 1.5-2 years of a child’s life, the relationship between mother and daughter moves to the next stage of its development. The baby is already beginning to separate herself, trying to do something on her own. However, during this period, the woman should still be nearby, ensuring the safety of her child. This is confirmed by examples when we see that a baby playing happily looks around from time to time, looking for his mother with his eyes. If he doesn't find her, he starts crying.

Later, at approximately 7 years of age, girls begin to actively identify themselves with their mothers. They have their own girly things to do. The daughter learns from her mother how to sew and cook, choose clothes and dress up. At this stage, a new stage arises in the psychology of the relationship between mother and daughter. The girl no longer needs a symbiotic relationship, and she has her own secrets and hobbies.

Requirements are too high

A mother should exude warmth and security, she should accept her daughter for who she is, encourage her to follow her own path and give her protection and guidance whenever she needs it. The daughter wants love from her mother, the highest form of love, unconditional love: mother's love. And she doesn’t understand why they point out things to her and try to instruct her, but they don’t show enough tenderness.

Why is that? Because mother is only human. Because she probably didn't experience that love from her mother because she didn't have a model to learn from. Many mothers understand that they need to train for anything and everything, but it is impossible to be prepared for everything while raising children. In relationships with your daughter, your own traumas often awaken in places where they are not expected. That's why so many bad things happen.

Physiology

My daughter is growing up. Various physiological changes occur in her body, which also affect the mother. A woman sees her child grow from a little girl into a young woman. And this leaves its mark on the relationship between mother and daughter. Sometimes this frightens and worries an adult. Sometimes mothers get jealous. But this feeling occurs only if the woman’s growing up was not easy, and she considered herself lonely. In such cases, mothers simply cannot cope with the physiological changes that occur in their daughters. This sometimes alienates close people from each other and devalues their relationships.

As daughters grow up, they become especially vulnerable. They need the support and advice of a loved one in order to accept their new look. But sometimes mothers ignore this moment. Then the girls develop indignation, mistrust and fear. This serves as the next brick of alienation in the ever-growing wall of misunderstanding between close people.

The key to the solution: what the daughter needs to understand

In this situation, the key to the solution is the daughter’s awareness of the problem. Indeed, in most cases, relationships of dependence become the absolute norm. And in such a situation, people do not see the consequences of the problem. And there can be many of them: unsettled personal life, failures at work, lack of friends, financial difficulties, etc.

Many will object: “But these problems are not always a consequence of the relationship with the mother.” Yes it is. An unhealthy relationship with your mother has a number of characteristic symptoms. Namely:

For any reason, you constantly consult with your mother..
Without a parent, you cannot make a single decision , constantly afraid of making a mistake.
Mom's disapproval causes a panic attack.
If you are forced to say “no” to your mother, then an acute feeling of guilt arises..
You are comfortable only with your mother , and in her absence you experience fear and uncertainty.

If any of the above is present in your life, know that this is a relationship of dependence and you need to get out of it urgently.

Creative activity

Already at 3-4 years old, girls begin to search for themselves in this life. They have creative impulses designed to answer the question of the direction of realizing the potential given to them by nature. During this period, some mothers face their own negativity. It arises from the expectations that they place on their daughters.

Many mothers create a certain image for their child, without paying any attention to his aspirations and talents. By doing this, they transfer their dreams and unrealized plans to their children, directing them along a path that is alien to them. By breaking the character and will of her child, a woman is unlikely to achieve good results. On the contrary, bad relationships between mother and daughter become the norm. The wall of misunderstanding between them grows almost to the skies.

The girl will begin to defend her rights to individual needs. At the same time, her mother wants the best for her. Sometimes the opposite situation arises. The mother’s opinion begins to dominate so much that the girl perceives it as the only true one. At the same time, the daughter begins to suppress her needs and desires, striving to live up to the ideal brought to her. However, the mother should keep in mind that in this case, sooner or later the girl will have to face the development of neurosis.

Female influence

As she grows up, the girl gradually begins to realize that she is capable of attracting the attention of the opposite sex. Her mother also interacts with her daughter’s sexuality. Adult women experience a wide range of emotions during this period. Its manifestations begin with envy and rejection and end with acceptance and tenderness.

The psychology of the relationship between mother and daughter is moving to a new stage of its development. The woman carefully observes the girl’s behavior with friends and fans, as well as her romantic preferences. All this leaves an indelible imprint on the manner in which their further communication will take place.

The final formation of the psychology of the relationship between mother and adult daughter in one direction or another will directly depend on whether the woman accepted the girl’s sexuality for herself. Sometimes adults during this period allow themselves to treat young people rudely. Such an attitude will cause the daughter to begin to see her mother as an enemy. Correcting such an error in the future will not be easy.

It is no secret that adolescence is a difficult period in the life of not only parents, but also children. This is a time when you have to cope with strong emotions, which sometimes seems like an overwhelming task. At the same time, the psychology of the relationship between mother and adult daughter is often quite complex. How should a woman behave so as not to lose authority and trust in the eyes of her child in the future?

Daughters and mothers: teenage girls and features of their relationships with mothers

Adolescence is the real border between childhood and adulthood. An interesting speech moment: we are at a loss if we need to say something about a person aged 12 to 15 years. Child? No longer a child. A boy, a girl - it also seems early. And the children themselves feel on the edge. Today we will talk about teenage daughters and their relationships with their mothers.

Just yesterday, it seemed like he was a sweet, affectionate kitten, always ready to snuggle up to you. In the choice between girlfriends and communication with you, you were number one. Of course, there were insults and quarrels, you were dissatisfied with your daughter’s behavior, but it was not so difficult to direct her in the right direction. But then everything suddenly changed. The daughter has become prickly, whispers with her friends, sits on social networks all day, the room is a mess, which she strictly forbids touching, and studies are clearly not in the first place. And your authority, alas and ah, has been shaken. What used to work now causes a storm of protest. Neither explain, nor force - everything in its own way!

When all this starts, parents are usually horrified. They understand that their still childish child is beginning to get out of control and is clearly going in the wrong direction. You are trying to convince her that studies should come first, but she doesn’t seem to hear. You are horrified by the combination of her clothes, and she looks at you as if you were an enemy. You try to point out that not all girlfriends and friends are suitable for communication, and then she completely explodes. The situation in the house is heating up to the limit.

Why is it difficult for mothers to survive their daughter’s growing up period?

It is very difficult for parents, especially mothers, to survive this period. And there are several reasons for this.

It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you are no longer the most important person in your daughter’s life. She begins to admire some friend, or singer, or actress much more. But you can still survive this. But sometimes she admires the mother of her peer, who is like a friend and you can talk to her about everything! You feel like the diamonds on your “I am Mom” crown are becoming more like cobblestones.

You fear for the life and health of your daughter. She has become secretive and does not say who she communicates with. She goes outside alone and fights to walk longer. But she already looks like a girl! Where is she, with whom, is she in danger - you exhaust yourself with worries. Her social networks are closed to you, but you have heard about the dangers emanating from there.

Relationships become strained and conflictual. You would like to maintain control over your daughter's life, but she actively resists. Fears and anxieties lead to the desire to be in the know even in small things. And every time you encounter fierce opposition. It seems that the relationship has completely deteriorated.

Unpleasant questions arise for yourself. Mothers begin to torment themselves with questions: did I raise her correctly? Did I miss it? Was I able to instill taste in her? Were you able to explain how important it is to study? And many, many others. Alas, mom tends to see her image in much darker colors than she really is. She makes an attempt to further educate, further educate, inspire and, as noted above, encounters active resistance.

In general, when there is a teenage child in the family, parents are faced with two eternal philosophical questions: who is to blame and what to do? Knowing what happens at this age to a growing person will help you figure it out.

Why is it difficult for daughters to experience adolescence?

Adolescence begins at 11–12 years of age, experiences its peak at 13–14 years of age, and gradually fades away by the age of 16. This period is associated with the next wave of psychological separation from parents and is necessary for the formation of personality. Yes, yes, another wave. The first, mild one, was about a year old, when she began to walk as a baby, then - the crisis of three years, then (not too strong) - the stage of starting to attend school - and voila: the teenage crisis in all its glory.

The first sign of a teenage crisis: Emotional instability

For the daughter, it all starts with the fact that she becomes more unbalanced and finds it difficult to control her emotions. It's like she's on a swing: one minute she's joyful to the point of euphoria, and then a few minutes later she can already find herself at the bottom of deep sadness (if the skirt she was planning to wear turns out to be inappropriate for her blouse or, even worse, for her legs).

At first, emotional instability is not recognized in any way, and this only makes it more difficult. A mother can scold her daughter because she has stopped controlling herself, offends her and gets offended over little things. Already at this point the conflict begins to grow. And the girl doesn’t even understand what’s happening to her! She feels something is wrong, but what it is and why is unclear to her.

Recommendations for mom

: Explain what is happening. It is very important that you are the one who tells her: “You are growing up, becoming a teenager. It is difficult for you to control your emotions; they do not always obey you. This also happens because your body is now developing, hormones are raging. But you can still learn to manage your emotions.”

Find ways together to help keep your emotions under control.

She knows some things about herself, some things you know better from the outside. Discuss ways to express emotions without spoiling communication: singing a sad song loudly, dancing a wild dance, drawing a “mood picture.” Agree on what you won’t scold her for (for example, if she stomps her feet). Talk about what else will help you be calmer: a bath with aromatherapy, warm milk with cookies, a good movie, an interesting book, music.

Keep your own calm.

Remember if you explode in response or shout, “You need to be calmer!” - then this leads to completely different results. The emotional background will level out as the body gets used to the new hormonal background. Be patient and be loyal.

Second sign of teenage crisis: Bodily changes

The girl is becoming more and more like a girl. It makes me happy, it frightens me, and it upsets me, all at the same time. Internal changes in the body affect external ones, and not always positively: acne, excess weight, disproportionality of the figure. The girl is truly concerned about this, especially given her emerging interest in boys and intraspecific competition with her peers. She wants to improve her appearance as much as possible. There is an interest in cosmetics and extreme selectivity in clothing. The difficulty of the period lies in the fact that the girl feels as if she is under a spotlight, that everyone is looking at her, evaluating her and is ready to criticize her. What if mom is here with this very criticism? Here is another basis for conflict and increased worries!

Recommendations for mom:

Continue your outreach. It is important for the girl to know that the changes are quick, but temporary, and gradually everything will return to normal.

Bring in outside consultants.

At this age, your daughter is more likely to listen to the advice of a hairdresser and stylist than to yours. Therefore, you can give her a coupon for attending a “fashion class”, where she can hear recommendations on clothing combinations, application of cosmetics and hairstyles.

Ensure hygienic safety

. This is one of the most special moments in which only mother and daughter participate. Explain to her what critical days are and be sure to teach her how to use hygiene products. If her period has not yet begun, the girl should have a pad in her purse so that she does not end up in an uncomfortable situation. She must be ready!

The third sign of a teenage crisis: priority of communication with peers

One of the most important signs of adolescence is the priority of communicating with peers. It is also expressed in grouping, when teenagers gather in groups based on some characteristic, in the appearance of intimate friends, as well as in interest in the opposite sex. All these processes are very important for the development of personality. Belonging to a group is to understand who I am and who I am with. Best friends are for sharing experiences and (most importantly!) talking about themselves. It is during this period that a growing person for the first time independently formulates thoughts about himself: character traits, expectations, desires, principles. And this happens in those very intimate conversations. Interest in boys is a test of the pen, a first experience that serves a future relationship. If parents do not understand the importance of these processes and try to limit them, conflicts are inevitable.

Recommendations for mom:

Communication is important. And at this age it is no less important than studying, no matter how seditious it may sound. Because adolescence is also a period of learning: communication and the many pitfalls that are encountered in this process. Therefore, try to be more loyal. This way there will be fewer reasons for clashes. Limiting communication and introducing strict measures is necessary only in extreme cases.

It's not too early for her.

Try to be understanding that your daughter has fallen in love (after all, this will definitely happen in adolescence!). Recommend her several books where falling in love is described in a romantic way. Tell your stories from your youth, this will create an atmosphere of trust. But don't ruin it, because teenage girls are very sensitive to words.

The fourth sign of a teenage crisis: Self-determination

The most important thing for a person in adolescence is to formulate for himself “who I am and what I am like.” This is why the authority of parents is pushed aside, this is why there are endless conversations with friends in which comparisons take place (I do this, and she does that; I can, but she doesn’t; I don’t want, but she wants). The girl strives to understand herself, and this is a difficult process that requires a lot of effort and effort.

Recommendations for mom:

Your opinion is important. Even if it seems that your opinion no longer matters, rest assured that it does not. Parents' opinions are valuable because they help a young person understand himself. To do this, it is very important to pay attention to successes, praise, but... to the point! For example: “I like your taste, these earrings go very well with your blouse”; “You were able to cope with this situation with dignity”; “You overcame yourself and achieved results.”

Don't rush to criticize.

The way teenagers criticize themselves, no one ever criticizes them. Therefore, you should not throw wood on this fire, especially if the topic concerns appearance. She, of course, will think about your words more than once, but outwardly she will react with an explosion and resentment. Therefore, if you need to pay attention to something, you should show miracles of diplomacy. Remember: a teenager’s self-esteem is very vulnerable, try to help strengthen it.

Personal space

. It is very important for a teenager to have his own personal space, both real and virtual. It is clear that you would really like to look there to make sure that your daughter is not in any danger. But, alas, growing children do not forgive this. Therefore, no matter how much you want, keep the personal personal.

Instead of a conclusion

Your daughter's adolescence is a challenge for both her and you. And it is in your power to preserve the relationship and lay a more adult basis in it. It’s no longer possible to treat her like a child, but it’s too early to completely give up adult responsibility. My daughter is on the verge between childhood and adolescence. And you are constantly searching for balance for this new state.

What is required from mothers of teenage girls is understanding, tenderness and severity. Alas, one cannot do without the latter either, when the daughter’s self-control sometimes turns off. But to resolve a difficult situation, try to find time, sit down calmly and discuss, and then come to an agreement. Be patient and many problems can be resolved peacefully.

Relationship with adult daughter

Sometimes in life between close people there can be complete harmony or outright hostility. But at the same time, the relationship between mother and adult daughter will never be neutral.

If a woman often criticizes her child, this may indicate her dissatisfaction with herself. The same applies to the reverse situation. An adult daughter's reproaches against her mother are an indicator of her failure in life. After all, blaming is always much easier. But not everyone can take responsibility. This behavior is usually characteristic of immature individuals.

Instilling feelings of guilt

What causes complex relationships between an adult daughter and her mother? Sometimes some women try to instill in their child the idea that he is in an unpayable debt to them. In the psychology of complex relationships between an adult daughter and mother, it is not important what situation became the reason for such a conclusion. It is likely that in this way the woman makes up for her lack of fulfillment in the profession or tries to explain the lack of attention from men. The mother may believe that this is why her daughter should always be near her, otherwise she will turn out to be an ungrateful selfish person. As a result, the girl will have to choose one of the following models of behavior for herself: to be indignant and demand the right to personal space; experience a constant feeling of guilt and devote your life to your mother.

Daughter's marriage

A difficult relationship between a mother and an adult daughter can develop due to the woman’s reluctance to let go of her child. Some mothers do not understand how they can exchange them for a young man. However, the situation does not change even after the daughter has already gotten married. In this case, the woman may continue to impose thoughts that it is best if everyone lives under the same roof. However, it is unlikely that relations will improve after such a unification. Quite the opposite.

Often difficult relationships between mother and daughter develop due to the discrepancy between their ideas about the ideal man. The mother-in-law shows dissatisfaction with her son-in-law, because he does not correspond to the image she created. It doesn’t matter that it’s simply impossible to find the ideal person. If the daughter’s chosen one does not meet the criteria of a “perfect” man, the mother begins to prove the error of her choice. Often because of this, young people get divorced. Nevertheless, the daughter, having brought a new life partner, will hear the same things about him, because not a single young man can live up to her mother’s expectations. Such a conflict situation will never be resolved. In this case, the daughter will become so distant from her mother that she will never be able to find out anything about the family life of her child.

But sometimes daughters blindly follow their parents' instructions. In this case, some mothers, demanding the marriage of girls, themselves find potential suitors for them. What to do in this case? You will have to come to terms with or begin to suppress all attempts by a loved one to take part in this process.

Situations like these that a young woman finds herself in have a significant impact on her worldview and life. In addition, all this brings discord into the relationship between mother and adult daughter. If communication between close people is reduced only to reproaches and imposing one’s point of view, then it will simply become impossible.

Relationship between mother and adult daughter. Psychology

To prevent common grievances between mother and adult daughter from becoming overwhelming for both parties, the relationship will have to go through several stages that will help change the situation for the better.

A few rules that will help you solve problems:

Separation. The first thing both parties need to do is learn to live separately, as an independent unit. This is not about radically changing your place of residence. You will need to limit communication for a while. This doesn't mean you need to stop communicating completely. The paradox is that sometimes scandals between mother and daughter help them find a common language again, only on a different level - like two adult women. The separation stage can occur at different ages. For some, this is the transitional age of a child, and for others, it is the marriage of a daughter.
Gratitude. From birth, a mother envelops her child with care and love, and not everyone can easily get used to the idea that the child has grown up long ago. A simple show of gratitude from both parties will equally contribute to rapprochement.
The need to share. Both mother and adult daughter need close communication with each other. The daughter needs to learn to tell her mother about some problematic situations in her life and ask for advice. This is necessary so that the mother again feels necessary for her child. When conflict situations arise, you need to find a compromise solution that will suit both parties.
Read between the lines. The need to take care of her child lives in a woman all her life. And even an adult daughter still remains the subject of guardianship. The more often a mother prohibits and reproaches, the greater the need she feels to take care of the child.

Important to remember! Only understanding the problem where the mother and adult daughter do not find a common language will be the starting point towards its resolution. Of course, it is impossible to find a compromise solution just through one intimate conversation. There is a long way to go. This applies to both sides.

Daughter's decision

What paths can a girl choose to get rid of constant reproaches?

1. Distance yourself. Sometimes communication between close people becomes so unbearable that it constantly ends in scandals. Limiting it would be the best solution for both parties. Of course, achieving this is not as easy as it seems at first glance. After all, women often continue to live under the same roof. The best solution in this case would be to find a new place of residence for your daughter. And even if it is very inconvenient. An adult daughter must set clear communication boundaries and learn to say “no.” In this case, the mother needs to realize that no one is trying to inflict certain moral damage on her. It’s just that an already matured child makes it clear that he has the right to his own life.

2. Find the edges of contact. Women who have lived together for many years cannot help but have common interests. In order to improve the relationship, some will need to go shopping, while others will need to go to the cinema or theater together. But in any case, both mother and daughter should find themselves in a situation where they feel at ease. Being in a good mood, they are unlikely to start a scandal.

3. Conducting a constructive dialogue. Sometimes, to improve relationships, all people need is a heart-to-heart talk. Perhaps many adult daughters have already tried to do this, but their mothers perceived such a step as an attempt to reproach them for something. Most likely, the conversation should be conducted differently. His daughter should start with the fact that she loves her mother and understands that she is worried about her child. However, she does some things that offend. Such statements will be an impetus for the mother to listen to her daughter’s position and accept it.

Mom is like an enemy.

Alas, it often happens in our society that the closest person - the mother - becomes an enemy for her daughter. This can only happen occasionally, at the time of a quarrel. But there are also particularly difficult cases when long-term grievances and conflicts develop into a lasting hostile attitude towards each other. Let's consider the reasons for the formation of such relationships.

Psychologists and psychotherapists conditionally divide the relationship between mother and daughter into three stages:

Mom, hug me.

This is the period of childhood when the child is completely dependent on the mother, when she is the main person in his life and without her he feels helpless.

Mom, let me go.

This is adolescence. The individual begins to realize his independence and becomes interested in the world around him. Excessive care and protection of the mother is no longer needed. This is a time of rebellion, protest, leaving home. But the fragile personality is not yet fully independent, and still returns to his mother, home.

Mom, leave me alone.

This stage occurs when the personality is fully formed and independent in social and material terms. The child is no longer a child, and does not need parental care, advice, and even more so, instructions on how to build his life.

These three stages are the norm in the family. And if both parties (both mother and daughter) perceive them normally, with understanding and loyalty to what is happening, the relationship is preserved. If there is a protest against their natural development, if one of them does not let go and forces the other, dissonance arises. And the result is enmity.

Now let’s look at what mistakes a mother and daughter make in relationships, and I will try to offer you possible options for correcting them.

For those who have recently become a mother, these tips will be very useful for properly raising their daughter in the future.

Birth of grandchildren

Often, after an adult daughter has children of her own, women become closer. Grandmothers always become more loyal. At the same time, their adult daughters gain life wisdom.

However, predicting a mother's mood is quite difficult. After all, some women rejoice at the appearance of grandchildren, while others begin to consider themselves old. Often grandmothers think that their daughters are raising their children incorrectly. In this case, they begin to give their grandchildren their unspent love, while making it clear to their daughter that her upbringing principles are bad.

Grandmothers should understand that parents themselves must educate their children and shape their character. Representatives of the older generation should only love their grandchildren and help young people to the best of their ability.

Two in one boat

Often, in difficult mother-daughter relationships, the offended party believes that only she suffered. At the same time, it is not at all considered that the conflict caused moral damage to the other side. The psychology of the relationship between daughter and mother can be so complex that sometimes it is impossible to understand which of them has it worse. Both consider themselves victims.

But mothers and daughters, when they complain about each other, must understand that they have to go through the main stages of their female journey together. In moments of crisis, they become similar to each other, like two drops of water. Both of them are just frightened girls - small and big. The two of them have received a challenge from their inner world and cannot cope with it. If this is not understood, then mother and daughter will have to continue to build barricades throughout their lives, being on opposite sides. It is not right. It is important for loved ones to walk alongside you. They must support each other throughout their lives, understanding that they are inextricably linked with each other.

As you want and as it happens

Our relationship with our mother is formed throughout our lives, perhaps even from the womb. And sometimes, by the time we reach adulthood or at a more mature stage of life, we get something completely different from what we would like or dream about.

In most cases, the psychology of the relationship between mother and adult daughter is too confused and full of resentment and pain. Such relationships are far from a sincere and warm exchange of feelings, attention, and care. They are not harmonious, they are either cold, exhausting, or downright hostile.

Sometimes they dry up, are interrupted, sometimes they find harmony. But the relationship never becomes neutral. And every woman has to deal with this, sometimes for years, and sometimes throughout her life.

Let's see what important stages every girl goes through during her life, but not on her own, but always together with her mother:

- birth

— physiology

- creative activity

- female influence

- women's power over life