Psychology of a strong personality: signs of a strong-willed person

Psychological, intellectual and emotional strength is the ability to perceive reality as it really is, and then manage the emotions that arise from the observations and respond in a healthy and productive way.

Psychic strength is revealed in what we do, as well as in what we don't do.

Independence and self-sufficiency

A clear and strong sense of self-worth. Such people are not dependent, not manipulative, not possessive, and not obsessed with control. They know how to solve their problems.

They are not afraid to be alone, but they are not afraid of people either. They don't want others to save them, but they also don't try to save or radically change others.

They do not allow others to control their emotions, and they do not “discharge” their emotions onto others.

Strong personality - example and actions

It is very important to understand that despite the fact that there are many historical examples of strong personalities, we often notice only the most famous, even though, sometimes, their contribution to some cause was not so great. In order to avoid such mistakes, it is necessary to identify who can act as an example of a strong personality.

An example of a strong personality is a person who has achieved a lot and left behind a significant contribution to the development of society, the country and humanity as a whole. This person must also have the qualities that were listed above and must have been tested in truly difficult life circumstances in order to confirm his title as a strong personality.

In combination, we get that there are not many examples of such individuals in history. Such people can be not only rulers and conquerors, but also scientists, educators and ideologists who moved society forward and defended their ideas and principles. Both Genghis Khan and Lomonosov can be called a strong personality. Such personalities include a huge number of people who defended their principles and were, in fact, martyrs for it, but did not give up.

I would also like to discuss how a strong personality behaves in everyday, simple life.

Healthy self-esteem

Sometimes high, healthy self-esteem is confused with narcissism (status symbol: fake self-confidence, disrespectful behavior, emphasis on appearance, money, power, fame, ability to manipulate others).

A mentally strong person is neither falsely confident nor timid.

You recognize and accept your strengths and weaknesses. You have learned to define your self-worth so that you are not dependent on the praise of others and are not devastated by rejection.

Psychological portrait of this person

Each of us can turn out to be a psychologically strong person even with very modest physical data. Such individuals differ from others in the following features:

• When communicating with a psychologically strong person, we feel his inner support.
• He does not curry favor with people who are higher than him in social status, and communicates with everyone with respect and dignity.
• He has personal boundaries that he knows how to define. Such a person treats himself with respect, so he will not allow himself to be treated with disrespect.
• Perhaps he will not enter into open conflict with the use of physical force, but he will find a way to stop the disdainful attitude towards himself.
• A strong person soberly evaluates himself, knows his strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, he knows how to ask for help in situations in which help is objectively needed. At the same time, such a person does not complain to others about troubles, he always actively solves his problems and does not take on unattainable goals.

It may seem that some of us were lucky to be born with a psychologically strong personality. But that's not true. The process of growing up and becoming makes a person this way. Even the muscles on the body do not grow on their own; they need to be trained. Personal qualities and traits can also be formed, get rid of negative ones, and acquire new ones.

Proactivity instead of passivity or reactivity

You accept that you are responsible for your own life. If there is a problem, you can weigh your choices and make a decision.

In comparison, a passive person typically feels overwhelmed or disconnected to the extent that they feel paralyzed and incapacitated to take any action. Likewise, a reactive person simply automatically reacts to things and makes decisions without conscious awareness.

Passive or reactive people are rarely aware that they are making decisions in their lives. Proactive people remember their emotions, thoughts and motives. They love to live their life, even if it is difficult.

Choose your parents wisely

More and more research confirms that our experiences in utero and the first months or even days after birth lay the foundation for stress resistance for the rest of our lives.

Heredity, the way our parents or guardians treat us, the characteristics of the environment in which we were born - all this determines how resilient our body will be, what emotions will be characteristic of us, what diseases we will be susceptible to and how long we will live.

Robert Sapolsky, the famous American biologist and specialist in the physiology and psychology of stress, ironically Fr. Well, we’ll definitely try it in our next life!

Moreover, Daniel Siegel, a famous child psychiatrist, neuroscientist and researcher of contemplative practices, states that the development of a child’s psychological resilience directly depends on the child-parent relationship. Security, calmness, attention, tenderness are key aspects of relationships that are necessary to strengthen the nervous system of a little person. How children react to stress and how quickly they return to a state of mental balance after it also depends on how parents deal with their own experiences.

Have adults sorted out their lives? Are they aware of their own emotions and understand the reasons for their appearance? Can words describe the nature of a person’s inner world? Can they themselves return to balance after emotional outbursts? As they say, first go to a psychologist yourself, and then put an oxygen mask on your child.

Obviously, none of us chose our parents, cultural and economic environment or era. None of us chose our genes or planned our first days of life in advance. As Paul Gilbert, clinical psychologist and founder of compassion-focused psychotherapy, says, we all simply find ourselves in the flow of life, which can cause pain and suffering.

We have no control over the structure of our own brains or the way the world works. However, we have the ability to recognize our place in this flow, take into account our characteristics and, based on this, choose ways to take care of ourselves and others.

Rational consciousness

See reality as it is. You perceive reality meaningfully using reason, logic, observation and common sense. In comparison, irrational people, even if they are quite logical, may come up with conclusions or connections that make sense primarily to them, but they lack objectivity and are not forward-thinking.

You will be able to maintain a high degree of awareness when you accept a situation, or deceive yourself by being unable to regulate your emotions.

It is important to be in the present moment, without being stuck in the past or dwelling in the future.

Emotional literacy and self-reflection

You are in touch with your emotions. You are able to recognize exactly what you feel, why, and what it means in relation to your existence.

You will take time to look back and reflect on what is happening in your inner and outer world. You think about what has happened in your life and what is happening, and actively make decisions about your behavior and actions based on your true emotions and reality.

You are effectively processing your past traumas and growing as a person.

A strong personality controls communication

There is a proverb - an eagle is not a bedbug's friend . The meaning is obvious - there is no need for a strong person to communicate with a weak and unworthy person. The point is not even that someone is weaker, but how this communication can affect a person. A strong personality understands that communicating with low people will not bring him any good.

“Strive for the smart and honest, be on your guard against the smart and deceitful, pity the honest and stupid, avoid the deceitful and stupid.”

Mahabharata

A lot depends on our environment. One of the pieces of advice that professional psychologists give to a person who is quitting drinking is to stop communicating with drunkards. Usually a person starts drinking socially; it is society that pushes a person to return to his bad habits. This is called the “crab effect”, when one crab tries to climb out of the bucket, another one immediately grabs its leg and pulls it down. Likewise, some of our friends sometimes drag us down with their careless words.

We also recommend this article: The mind of a strong person has one goal.

If we want to strive to become better, win and surpass ourselves, we need to choose the right environment for ourselves. An environment that will support our goals rather than drag us down. Such an environment will make a person stronger. If a person is placed in a society of weak and weak-willed people, he will become the same. If a person is placed in a society of warriors, he will become the same. Association with wiser people makes us wiser and helps us strive for worthy goals. After all, it’s a shame to talk about some stupid things with a respected person.

A person's personality is formed by two things - his environment and what is said about him. If the environment is unacceptable for the manifestation of deception, dishonesty and other weaknesses, then such a person will behave with dignity in such a society or he will not be able to be in it. The opinion of others about a person does not change the personality itself, but reveals some of its facets. When you are told that you are a strong person, you begin to behave like a strong person. Admiration always gives a man strength. And here it is important to choose a society where you will not be belittled for the sake of someone else’s sense of their own exaltation.

“A noble man speaks only about the virtues of his neighbor, even if he does not have them. A bad person talks only about his shortcomings. And let both of them lie - the first one goes to heaven, the second one goes to hell.”

Mahabharata

To strive for the company of those who are stronger means to have the opportunity to grow, because among the sheep a lion cannot become stronger. The best fighters became in battles against other warriors. Also a kind of communication, but with an equal or superior to you. Leaving your previous social circle with the thought: “They are not worthy of me” is at least unreasonable, but it is worth being aware of the influence of such people on our behavior and thinking about how to reduce these contacts. It is more important, however, to think about where to find communication with a more experienced person. In any field, learning begins with finding an environment that can help you become better - a team, group, club where you can share interests or gain knowledge. And here too.

If you feel lonely among people and think that you don’t need communication, it means you simply don’t have those people with whom you could talk about the most important things, and it will be very useful to find such people.

Empathy and compassion

Psychologically strong people have a strong sense of self-compassion and develop empathy for others. Empathy does not necessarily mean that you agree with other people or their actions, but that you understand how others feel, think and act, and why.

Another way to develop your own empathy is compassion. Because you understand how you feel, and because you understand how others may feel, you have compassion.

Adaptability

Adaptability is one of the most useful character traits. Strong people are able to quickly adapt to change and remain aware in a problematic or unexpected situation.

You have confidence that you will be okay because you are adaptable; you think about the situation, but you don't obsess or worry about it because you know you can handle it when it happens.

Why be a strong person?

I would like to give several arguments in favor of why being a strong person is useful in life:

As for me, all the advantages of developed fortitude are obvious. How many doors can you open for yourself in life if you just don’t be afraid, believe in yourself, in your capabilities! You should definitely engage in self-development if you have grandiose plans for this life!

Labkovsky about who such a strong person is:

Accepting what is and is not under your control

You understand that there are many things that are beyond our control. The desire to control everything is a classic sign of chronic anxiety and existential uncertainty.

You can differentiate between what you can control and what you cannot. Shifting your attention away from things that are out of your control allows you to feel better, opening up new possibilities and the possibility of being happy.

Focus on yourself

Instead of focusing on what you can't control or on achieving grandiose or anxious goals, you simply live your life as healthy and conscious as possible.

You don't play social games.

You do not follow ideologies or be swayed by social, political and philosophical narratives. You don't try to change everyone around you to suit your tastes. You don't worry about what your neighbor thinks or might be doing wrong.

You create a better life for yourself, one that is not aggressive towards others, towards yourself and your immediate environment.

You do not like to listen to excuses and excuses

Strong personalities cannot tolerate excuses or excuses from themselves or others. Moreover, they are often much more strict with themselves, and not with others, and this already says something.

Instead of inventing elaborate excuses for why things didn't work out for them, they consciously direct their efforts to finding solutions to their problems, no matter how complex and intractable they may seem to them.

Strong personalities know how to roll up their sleeves and take on even the dirtiest work. For them, the hardest work is better than the excuses they despise. They understand that in reality, any excuses are a waste of energy and time.

Helping others out of the kindness of your heart

Essentially, everyone is responsible for their own life. By default, we do not owe anything to anyone, just as others do not owe us anything.

Strong people are considerate and helpful. However, giving and helping others is an act of kindness, not an obligation.

You are helpful and caring, but you do not feel responsible for the well-being of other people, just as no one is responsible for you. You can be helpful and generous without guilt or obligation.

You see problems not as difficulties, but as opportunities.

Strong people do not allow the desire for security and comfort at any cost to enslave all their thoughts and feelings.

Secondly, if their problems actually stem from a lack of security and/or control. They will not hesitate and will immediately begin to act, or at least make a plan to get out of this situation.

Strong people look at problems not as problems, but as opportunities that allow them to make their lives better, and that is worth a lot.

Healthy Relationships

The foundation of a healthy relationship is boundaries .

You treat others fairly, which means you love and respect those who are worthy and do not waste your resources (time, money, energy) on toxic people or tolerate their abusive and harassing behavior.

If you encounter something that seems toxic or unhealthy, you make a decision about what to do rather than reacting emotionally or passively accepting it. You regularly review your relationships with other people and come to conclusions that will help maintain your boundaries.

You know how to listen like no one else

Notice how most people behave when they listen to anyone. It is very likely that their attention is constantly jumping from the narrator to something else. They constantly look around, lose themselves in their own thoughts, and check their email on their phone.

Strong personalities are not like that. They know how to listen to other people, because they understand how important it is to earn the trust of others, and how easy it is to lose it. In addition, most of them are extremely intolerant of those who do not know how to listen and do not want to learn how to do so.

Don't try to please everyone

The truth is that no matter who you are or what you do, there will be people who don't like you. You don't like everyone either, so it's natural that not everyone will like you either.

Psychologically strong people do not become aggressive towards others , but they also recognize that social rejection is inevitable - and that is normal.

If you want to live, be flexible

What image comes to mind when you hear the word “sustainability”? Many people associate this quality with a mountain (which is why, for example, many meditations use this image to create a feeling of inner balance and groundedness). But there is a problem: we are still living people, not mountains, so sustainability is not inherent to us by nature. We are made up of 60–70% water. Our emotions fluctuate almost every minute in response to external influences or our own thoughts. Even our life principles and beliefs can change. And it is this variability that can play into your hands if you learn to use it.

Take the “Systems Thinking” course and you will learn how it helps you “hack reality”, integrate into a complex and fast world, how to speed up your brain and learn effectively.

One of the modern areas of cognitive behavioral psychotherapy, called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), pays special attention to the development of psychological flexibility . We are talking about the ability to remain in contact with any of your experiences, even the most unpleasant thoughts, feelings and sensations, and at the same time make your life more and more meaningful.

This is especially important these days because we easily lose touch with what we experience from moment to moment and what is truly meaningful to us - in other words, with our values. When this happens (and this happens to all of us to one degree or another at different periods of life), then there is a feeling that life loses its meaning and turns into a continuous struggle or painful service.

The essence of psychological flexibility is to stop fighting what you find intolerable. Russ Harris, one of the leading experts on ACT and its popularizer, explains: “If you find a certain emotion positive, you may try to experience it again; If you write it down as negative, you will strive even more desperately to get rid of it. Thus, judging emotions sets you up to deal with them... Making judgments is the most common way the mind exacerbates our emotional discomfort.”

Saying no

Strong people know when to say no. They know where their emotional responsibility ends and the other person begins, and vice versa.

They feel comfortable saying no to boundary violations, aggression, and unfair behavior, which ultimately benefits them. They do not feel shame or guilt for protecting their identity.

• Are these points present in your life?
• Is there anything you would like to add to this list?
• What points would you like to work on?
• What does a strong personality mean to you?

If you have questions or would like to schedule a consultation, you can contact me by going to the contact page . I will be glad to help you!

GuruTest

A strong character sometimes causes a storm of indignation among people, because strong people do not depend on the opinions of others and are difficult to manipulate. This confuses most label lovers. Signs of a strong personality will help you understand how strong you are.

Sign one: the ability to hide true emotions

It is important to understand here that it is skill, not consistency, that is needed. Strong people must understand when and how to hide their joy or anger from other people so that it does not interfere with the work process, for example. People who are overly open always experience problems because they cannot abstract themselves from their desire to express emotions, which betrays them completely. Closed people keep everything to themselves, so they cannot relax. Smart, strong and wise people can adapt to any situation. This requires endurance and experience.

Sign two: you are comfortable being alone

If you can be alone with your thoughts, if you are not bored alone or alone, then you can consider yourself a somewhat strong person. For many people, it is not so easy to work in solitude, without communication. In addition to being resistant to loneliness, it also shows your high intelligence because your thoughts are not working against you.

Sign three: you don't need people's attention

What this means is that you don’t need to attract attention with flashy actions or words. People themselves are drawn to you if they have developed thinking and intelligence. A partly correct judgment is that people who are psychologically strong are often lonely. This is so because ordinary people have difficulty perceiving anything unusual, so they abstract from it. If you live without the need for the attention of others, then this is a good sign.

Sign four: you know how to take risks

In other words, strong personalities can abstract themselves from fear. This is not about the fear of heights or flying in an airplane, but about the fear of failure. Strong personalities take risks, but not everything in the world. They have escape routes and are free from empty fears.

Sign five: freedom from prejudice

Prejudices are established opinions about something or someone. Strong people do not listen to the opinions of others, but take them into account. They see the world in their own way. Even though their views on the world are not always rosy, they are individual.

Sign six: wisdom

Strong personalities always share or accept smart advice. As a rule, because strong people know how to take risks, they also know how to learn from mistakes, so their life is like a textbook on survival or achieving success.

Sign seven: thirst for learning

A strong personality will not necessarily study at university all the time. Strong people are not afraid to learn constantly, gaining new knowledge from any source. Such people always have some kind of hobby, because they are always interested in something. They understand that it is impossible to live on one volume of knowledge: they need to adapt to changes.

Sign eight: helping others

Even if a strong person has no time, he will show interest in the problem of another person. It's in the blood of truly strong-willed people. They cannot ignore the problem of their friends or loved ones.

Sign Nine: Fighting Injustice

This can be expressed in different ways, but a strong person will never leave injustice unattended. Protecting the weak is not a way to appear better, but an irresistible desire, an obligation.

Sign ten: no excuses

Let's say you wanted to lose a couple of kilograms. Excess weight is a fairly common problem in the modern world, but look carefully at who is working on solving it - almost no one. A truly strong person will not look for excuses in the form of work or some extraneous matters. There are no excuses for strong people - they take it and do it, and do not look for reasons to avoid working on themselves.

Sign eleven: no need for encouragement

Everything that a real person does, she does for herself. Such people do not need recognition, because a strong person knows that he is worthy of victory, because he works tirelessly every day.

Sign twelfth: calmness

Strong people shout little, and you can only make them angry if you try very hard. Some of them even manage to quickly cool down after enemy attempts to touch the nerve. Strong people are stress-resistant.

Sign thirteen: the ability to apologize

Admitting guilt is sometimes difficult for even the strongest people. If you have the inner strength, you can do this without any problems. Strong people understand that they can make mistakes and do something wrong in life, hurt someone with their actions, for which they can apologize.

Sign fourteen: no empty expectations

Strong people expect nothing from others: no help, no support. They understand that this is self-sufficiency. If you constantly wait for someone to help you, then you may not get it.

Sign fifteen: all matters are scheduled

Almost nothing happens for nothing in the lives of strong-willed people. Such people have time for rest, for entertainment, for work, for idleness, for everything. Time allocation occurs only according to priorities.

Sign sixteen: high level of responsibility

This includes sports and proper nutrition. Strong people are responsible towards themselves and their work. They are punctual and always have a plan B in case of force majeure. No tasks are put aside, because in this case they accumulate like a snowball, preventing you from living normally.

All these signs should ideally describe you, but in reality everyone understands that it is enough to have only a few signs for you to be able to call yourself strong. Strong people are not arrogant, they know how to defend their point of view, and they are individual. They are slightly biased by character type towards introverts, because being alone is more productive for personal growth.

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22.03.2018 01:17