Communication is an important component of every person’s life. Unfortunately, it is not always easy for people to find a “common language” and topics for conversation with each other. And if we are talking about conversations between a man and a woman, then communication can turn into a real disaster, because the interests, thoughts, and perception of the world of people of different sexes are radically different. If you don’t know or doubt what is acceptable to talk about with a girl, and what topics should be avoided, then you will need to study as much information as possible on this issue.
What topics can you talk about with a girl?
Everything is purely individual, and it is quite difficult to say exactly what content of the conversation will be appropriate without knowing anything about the girl, her character and interests. However, there are neutral topics that are appropriate both for conducting conversations with young ladies you don’t know well, and with those you have known for a long time. With their unobtrusiveness, on the one hand, they can fill the awkward pause that has arisen between you, and on the other hand, they will help you get to know the person better.
Topics suitable for conversation:
- Cinema. You can ask her about what genre of cinema she prefers. What was the last film or TV series she watched, what opinion did she have, who is her favorite actor, actress, director. This topic is easy to delve into and can be discussed endlessly. In addition, the information received will not be superfluous if in the near future you decide to invite a girl to the cinema or to your home to watch some comedy.
- Music. Ask the lady why she likes or doesn’t like popular tracks today, where she downloads music, what emotional state she experiences while listening to the compositions. What genre of music does she prefer? By the way, this information can be used if you are arranging a romantic date for a girl in the foreseeable future, then you will create the right atmosphere by turning on her favorite song.
- Books. If you read, it's worth talking about literature. Perhaps there are books that you both have read, then you can try to ask her opinion and tell her about your impressions. Recommend a book that you liked the most.
- Food. Ask if the girl knows how to cook and whether she likes doing it, what unusual dishes she has tried, what her favorite dish is. All this will not only help keep the conversation going, but will also be useful if you want to invite a lady to a restaurant or cafe.
- Events. If you don’t know or are in doubt about what to talk about with a girl, then you can always discuss the events currently happening in the city or those that will happen soon - concerts, competitions, holidays. Find out where she was, what she did there, whether she was just a spectator or a participant, what impressions she received, what event she still plans (or dreams) of going to.
- Trips. Everyone loves this topic. People generally love to share experiences and talk about their trips, and also enjoy hearing exciting travel stories from others. Therefore, if you are thinking about what to talk about with a girl so that she doesn’t get bored, talk about travel - what countries you visited, where you liked best, and where you are unlikely to go again. Girls love photos, so if you have vacation photos, be sure to show them to her.
- Animals. With the topic of our little brothers, you will certainly evoke affection in your young lady and bring the conversation to a pleasant tone, so you can talk about it. It's not only acceptable to talk: you can watch funny videos and laugh at clumsy furries. Tell her what your favorite animal is and funny incidents involving four-legged animals.
- Sport. Nowadays, many people adhere to a healthy lifestyle, and your girlfriend may well be curious to talk about it. As the conversation progresses, compliment her figure - she will be pleased to hear it.
- Human qualities. Find out what is most important to her in a person, why she values her friends, and why she might stop respecting even a very close person.
Using any of these topics, you will be able to not only take up time, but also get to know your interlocutor quite well. In addition, all the topics presented above are quite interesting, which means you will not be considered a boring interlocutor. Also remember, many girls are very proud, so they can literally talk for hours only about themselves. It’s enough just to ask the right leading questions, and the young lady will broadcast herself, freeing you from the responsibility of choosing a topic.
Romantic and slightly vulgar topics for talking about relationships
Topics for talking with a guy about sex, love and relationships are an endless space where you don’t need to choose words or think about wording. With a friend, especially an unfamiliar one, you have to be more delicate. If you want to “test the waters” about the prospects, take on the best romantic themes with a little vulgar or, conversely, serious overtones.
55. Tell me about your ideal first date. What would you prefer: a candlelit dinner, a walk in the park, a chic restaurant or a fun party?
56. What is the first thing you pay attention to when meeting a man? Does his appearance, clothing style, hairstyle, etc. influence your choice?
57. Do you believe that accidents are not accidental? Are you ready, succumbing to the signs of fate, to commit some kind of madness?
58. What do you listen to more often in relationships – the voice of the heart or cold reason? And do they often conflict, causing conflicting emotions in you?
59. What do you mean by the concept of intimacy? Does this necessarily imply intimacy?
60. Do you always adhere to the “five dates” rule or do you act according to circumstances? What influences your decisions?
61. What masculine quality can push you “into the deep end,” and which one causes the greatest disgust?
62. How do you feel about cheating? Have you ever experienced betrayal from a loved one or been unfaithful yourself?
63. Do you believe in friendship between a man and a woman? Do you have male friends who, under no circumstances, will be able to get out of the friend zone?
64. Describe in three words what you mean by the concept of love. Without what is this feeling impossible in principle?
65. Is it acceptable for you to have sex without commitment if both partners are not in a relationship?
66. How jealous are you? Do you consider jealousy to be an obligatory part of a relationship, or is it a sign of mistrust for you?
67. Which of your past relationships would you like to return to correct the mistakes you have made? Why?
68. In a couple, do you usually play the role of leader or follower? Do you often show flexibility or do you usually insist on your own without changing your decisions?
69. Are you able to forget about everything in the world when spending time with a man?
70. Which relationship format is closer to you - calm and predictable or explosive and reckless?
71. Do you think you are ready for marriage and family? What would your ideal family life look like? What do you expect from your future husband and what compromises are you ready for?
72. Tell us about what you would like to achieve over the next five years? What place does family have in your plans?
73. How do you feel about civil marriage? For you, is this a full-fledged family or temporary cohabitation?
74. What kind of wedding do you dream of: a fabulous banquet with a hundred guests or a modest party with your closest ones?
75. Do romantic actions done for you captivate you? Or are you a pragmatic person who prefers a freshly prepared dinner to a luxurious bouquet of roses?
76. What feelings should family relationships be based on? Are love, understanding and good sex enough to build it?
77. How long did your most serious relationship last? Was the breakup difficult, or did you part as friends?
78. How many children would you like to have? How do you feel about childfree and large families?
79. Could you break off a relationship without explanation, by phone or SMS? Because of which?
How to keep a conversation going
If one of the topics suggested above was used, and you still managed to start a casual conversation, then it is important to learn how to maintain it. For this:
- Listen carefully to your interlocutor. You should not interrupt, even if you have something to say or object to on the topic. You can't yawn, even if you're bored. You should not be distracted by your smartphone, even if you receive a message or receive a call during a conversation. Otherwise, all this will lead to you losing the thread of the conversation, missing important points on the topic, and you will not be able to maintain a conversation later.
- Ask questions. After the girl has spoken, be sure to ask her clarifying questions, ask her to clarify something for you. Not only will this help prolong the conversation, but it will also show the lady that you are interested in her and that what she has to say matters to you.
- Laugh and joke. Humor is the best way to keep a conversation going. Try to laugh, or at least smile at your interlocutor’s jokes, and joke yourself. Girls really appreciate a good sense of humor in men. In addition, a witty conversation, full of funny life stories and jokes, will almost certainly continue for quite a long time.
- Connect third parties. If the conversation, despite all your efforts, does not go well, then it is advisable to involve someone else in the conversation. A new participant can save a hopeless situation by introducing an unusual topic.
- Don't be afraid of pauses. If the conversation is interrupted and an uncomfortable pause looms, do not immediately panic. This will cause you to blurt out something inappropriate. Remember: it is impossible to talk about anything at all without interruption. Pauses are a natural part of conversation. During silence, you can simply smile at the girl, look around, or calmly take a sip from a glass. Use the pauses that occur during the conversation to think about what to talk about next.
In general, if there is a pause, hug her, put your hand or leg on her or your lap. The body talks too, and body language is much more pleasant for both of you.
To maintain a conversation and improve communication, it is also important to consider the following:
- Practice more. It’s completely normal to feel a little nervous while talking to a girl you don’t know well. The more you practice, the easier it will be.
- Don't allow disputes!! Discussions and the exchange of different opinions are acceptable to maintain a conversation. But it is very important to control this process so that it does not develop into a negative direction and an argument that in an instant will make the conversation unbearable. Moreover, there is a chance that you will end up having a fight with the girl and accidentally offend her.
- Maintain good oral hygiene. It is extremely difficult to talk to a person whose breath smells bad. If you want to carry on a conversation with a girl, always have refreshing candies or chewing gum with you.
- Look into the eyes. If a girl is wearing a dress with a deep neckline that catches your eye, try to resist the urge to constantly look into her neckline. When you talk to her, look only into her eyes.
But there is an important clarification: any girl puts on such clothes precisely in order to attract attention. Therefore, it is necessary to periodically look there so that the lady does not feel that this dress was chosen in vain.
Examples of dialogue
Dialogue when communicating with a girl plays an important role, because you need not only to actively talk, telling facts and stories, but also to be able to listen and listen. A first date is an exciting event for both parties, so you need to prepare for it, think through the dialogue and topics that could interest your interlocutor.
Many people don’t know how to behave with a girl and start a conversation so that she has fun and you don’t look stupid. If we are talking about certain topics, then dialogues can begin with the following phrases:
– Mash, what kind of music do you like?
– Well, I’m a versatile person, I love foreign tracks, Russian songs, sometimes I listen to rap, but it’s according to my mood...
– Oh, cool, I like rap too. I like listening to Basta most of all, his words are cool and his music is touching, what about you?
What to do if there is nothing to talk about?
What to talk about with a girl if it seems to you that you simply have no common topics with her? Well, first of all, this is a misconception. It is impossible to imagine a situation in which two adults are completely unable to find a topic for conversation. Most likely, you are simply not looking for common ground well. However, if you have not yet been able to find a single topic to have a pleasant conversation, but you really want to spend time with her, then try the following:
- Go to the cinema. This way you will kill two birds with one stone. And you will spend time together, and there is no need to talk, and after watching the film the topic will appear by itself, because you both will probably want to discuss the movie. And you can hug and kiss.
- Play something. Nowadays there are many interesting board games during which talking is not necessary.
- Be gentle. If your relationship with her already allows for tactile contact, but you have nothing to talk about yet, then replace empty talk with kisses, hugs, or just walks holding hands. Finally, offer to give her a relaxing massage.
There are thousands of pleasant things that people do in silence and still feel comfortable.
Use your imagination and come up with an unusual activity, and the topic of conversation will then appear by itself.
Taboo topics
Knowing what to talk about with a girl when you are walking, a guy should also have an idea of what topics he should not touch on. These are the taboos, if violated, you can lose your chosen one forever.
Appearance
This is one of the most painful topics for girls. In modern society, there is a stereotype that only with ideal external data can you be happy. Life refutes this statement, but most women are adamant about it. There are quite a lot of people who are dissatisfied with their natural characteristics. It’s very easy to ask an offensive question on this topic, but it’s difficult to correct the situation later if the interlocutor gets upset.
Joint plans
People value their independence. Making joint plans during the first meeting is like making a decision for two people, without taking into account the opinion of the interlocutor. She is not property, but a person with her own beautiful and unique world. This line must not be crossed.
Money
If a guy starts talking about money, he risks getting seriously burned. His speech will not find a living response in the girl’s soul for several reasons:
- his material well-being will make her feel disadvantaged if her income is low;
- she will consider him a braggart and a proud man if she herself does not need anything, but prefers not to tell people she knows little about this.
If a guy develops this topic with pleasure, then more often it turns out that he listens to himself and admires his achievements, and the interlocutor is only “attached” to such a conversation.
Family
Old people said: “Someone else’s family is a dark forest.” And they were right. Relationships with loved ones do not always work out well. Sometimes people suffer psychological trauma that does not heal with age. It is better not to touch on this topic during the first meeting.
What can you talk about with a girl on VKontakte?
The Internet and social networks are places that have become part of our lives. That is why the first communication is often made on VKontakte. It should be noted that getting a lady to talk on the Internet is much easier than in reality, since you have time to carefully think through each step and each answer to the question.
In order to find a topic for conversation with a young lady, first study her page: what groups she subscribes to, what music she listens to, what locations she notes in the photo. This way you will learn almost everything you need about her. Based on the information received, start speaking.
Try starting with this:
- Leave interesting comments under her photos,
- Like her posts
- Send your or her favorite music in messages,
- Send her interesting pictures, jokes, anecdotes.
Online communication should be easy and unobtrusive. You shouldn’t develop serious topics on the Internet or allow yourself to make ambiguous jokes, because there is a risk that the girl will misunderstand you and this will ruin everything.
A detailed analysis of your VKontakte account will allow you to understand what to talk about with a girl both on the Internet and in real life.
Some tips on how to have a conversation
Topics of conversation are an important part of the walk, but so is the way the dialogue is conducted. Walking and just talking is not everything; when communicating with a girl, you should use the following recommendations.
- You need to speak clearly, confidently, calmly. Mumbling or muttering something incomprehensible is a way to ruin the impression. Girls are attracted to confident guys who are a pleasure to hang out with and always have something to talk about.
- The conversation should be leisurely.
- For the first walk, it is better to have several pre-thought-out topics to talk about. To do this, you should carefully study the girl’s profile on social networks and try to find out something about the girl from mutual friends, if you have any. Then you will definitely have something to talk about during your walk.
- During your first walk, you should not touch on serious topics. The conversation should be light, relaxed, with jokes.
- If the conversation fades or it is not very pleasant, the girl speaks reluctantly, it is better to immediately change the topic.
It is important to listen carefully and remember the preferences of the interlocutor. In this case, it will be easier to talk now and plan further meetings: invite a girl to a concert if she likes music, go rollerblading if she prefers active recreation, go to a painting exhibition, go for a walk in the park, etc. Even more tips about on how to maintain a conversation with a woman in different situations, in the article “What can you talk about with a girl - what topics to talk about?”
What can you talk about with a girl on the phone?
Phone calls are a rather controversial method for communication. There is always a risk that you call at an inconvenient time and distract the person from important matters, so before you make a call, think carefully. Some even consider calls to be a manifestation of bad taste, because there are other methods that can be used to contact and communicate with a person, for example, instant messengers (including voice messages) and social networks. It is better to call only for urgent, urgent matters. However, if you have already decided to call, then you should think in advance about what to talk to the girl on the phone.
Conversation algorithm and list of sample topics:
- Don't jump straight to the main topic. First, find out whether it is convenient for the young lady to speak at this moment.
- If not, apologize and promise to call later.
- If the answer is yes and the young lady is ready to talk to you, then ask how things are going with her, what she did during the day and what mood she is in now.
- If the girl herself began to develop topics, then support her. If not, then choose one of your favorite and preferably not boring topics (sports, music, movies, books) and take the initiative into your own hands.
- Carefully monitor the intonation and tone of the girl’s voice; if you feel that she is bored, immediately redirect the conversation in another direction that she will like.
- Try to diversify the conversation with humor, then you will look like a fun guy, and perhaps she will be interested in meeting you.
If everything goes well, then you can probably count on, at a minimum, a repeat of an interesting conversation on the phone, and, at maximum, a quick date.
Treat her with understanding
You need to understand that long-distance relationships are a difficult task, since people will have to maintain an emotional connection in every possible way without being able to see each other as often as they would like. It is important not to give in to emotions and jealousy if suddenly the girl was unable to answer the call and disappeared from sight for some time. Perhaps she had difficulties, was delayed at work or was loaded with homework at school.
When she needs help and support, a man needs to make every effort to be there for her. Only if relationships are built on compromise and trust can they develop into something serious and real. When making mistakes, it is important not to hush up the misdeeds, but to speak directly and honestly, promising not to repeat this again.
Expert opinion
Elena Druzhnikova
Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.
Young people should discuss even the smallest issues with each other, demonstrating frankness and openness among themselves.
What to talk about when you first meet
When you first meet, make a good impression, so follow something like this:
- Give compliments. It is important for girls to hear pleasant words addressed to them. There is no young lady in the world who would be indifferent to compliments, even if someone says the opposite. Therefore, if you are trying to charm her, do not skimp on pleasant words, but do not overdo it, otherwise you will make yourself look like a flatterer.
- Just kidding. Girls like men's sense of humor, so the first meeting should be as fun as possible. The main thing is that the jokes are not offensive either to the young lady or to those around her.
- Look for unusual topics and avoid trivial, hackneyed things. You should always have a couple of outstanding topics in stock and know little-known, interesting facts. You must show her your erudition without looking like a bore.
- Don't overdo it. Sometimes guys are so focused on impressing during the first meeting that they simply don't allow young girls to speak up. Let the young lady take the initiative; perhaps if the girl has something to say, then she will be the one who will be able to find an interesting and exciting direction for the conversation.
Meet and Greet
https://www.pexels.com/
Psychologists say that already in the first 40 seconds a girl subconsciously evaluates a man. If during these forty seconds a positive impression has not been formed, on the date itself she will in every possible way - again subconsciously - look for shortcomings. That's why the first impression is so important.
“Hello” or “hello” should be said in a confident, calm and bold tone. No timidity or shyness. You can smile a little. But only slightly! A bad smile will make a bad impression.
It’s better not to hug a girl when you meet - you don’t know each other well enough yet, why this familiarity? But eye contact should be maintained. You shouldn’t devour a girl with your eyes - such a look makes you feel uncomfortable. But to take your eyes off her right away means to instill doubt in her that there is something wrong with her appearance and choice of outfit. How is it necessary? “Look” at her all and give her a compliment, noticing some detail. Something like “wonderful shoes,” “cool color of the dress,” “you look gorgeous!”
Which topics are best to avoid?
Now you have a rough idea of what to talk about with a girl in a given situation. But it’s also worth considering which conversations should not be started under any circumstances:
- Gossip and rumors. Never tell her other people's words, gossip and rumors. Firstly, for a man to have such conversations is not respectable. Secondly, it is not a fact that the information you transmit is 100% reliable. By spreading rumors, you risk appearing to girls as a strange man and they will no longer trust you.
- Health. In general, it is not customary to talk about illnesses with strangers, so avoid the topic of your or her health. Otherwise, you risk making girls feel sorry for themselves. And if you complain about your health or put her in an uncomfortable position, the date may be your last.
- Policy. This is a sensitive topic, and therefore the conversation is likely to be one in which it is difficult to achieve agreement. Political conversations also often lead to quarrels, so you shouldn’t touch on them.
- Religion. The same as with politics is not a topic for a romantic evening.
- Former. It is also better to avoid this topic, especially if you are ready to talk about your ex, once beloved ladies only in a negative way. Girls are also not always pleased to remember past relationships, so it is better not to touch on this topic.
- Finance. If you don’t want to be branded as mercantile or put the lady in an uncomfortable position, then don’t touch on “slippery” topics that affect the financial situation of one of you.
- Problems. Do not discuss girls’ problems and try not to complain about unpleasant situations and problems in your personal life.
- Job. You can chat about work casually, but don’t get carried away or go deep. It is not recommended to talk to a young lady about work, even if this topic is very interesting to you.
- Don't brag. Girls, at least adequate ones, do not like braggarts, so when talking about anything, try not to sound like boasting.
Take all this into account if you want to make a positive impression on your loved one.
How can you spend time together?
To avoid having to keep relationships at a distance, young people still need to find opportunities to meet. It is necessary to dedicate weekends from time to time to travel to each other, as far as study, work or other responsibilities allow. After completing the next visit with a girl, it is better for a man to immediately make plans for the next meeting, so that he has something to look forward to and something to strive for.
Here's how you can spend time together:
- using video calls in different interesting places, simulating dates with a girl;
- organizing common traditions for meetings, for example, every last weekend of the month a couple meets at their favorite restaurant;
- organizing meetings in other cities for useful and interesting pastime.
You can determine the frequency of meetings by dividing the responsibility to visit between both partners. For example, this month a man comes to his beloved, next month the guest will be a girl who visited her man’s city.
Examples of good phrases for dating
Here are 3 original examples from life of starting a conversation on VK that can be used as a sample.
Example 1. A beautiful compliment is an original start to a conversation
- Hi, Olya! My name is Vadim. I accidentally came across your page and wanted to get to know you. The smile on the avatar is too charming