How to communicate with a girl on the phone: complete instructions

What to talk about with a girl on the phone

Imagine that you met an amazing, sexy girl, you've been texting her for a couple of days, it's time to talk to her in person .

You understand that a telephone conversation is nonsense, a natural process of communication, but you are still nervous and worried that you will not be able to make a good impression on her.

Common situation?

Telephone conversations have long been firmly established in our lives.

You can easily resolve all issues without leaving home.

We calmly communicate with loved ones and strangers without even thinking about how this will all happen.

We just dial the number and say what we think.

But for some reason this scheme doesn’t work with girls.

As soon as you are about to call her, panic immediately begins: “How to say hello? What will I tell her? What are we going to talk about anyway?”

This excitement is due to the fact that this girl means too much to you and you don’t want to miss your chance.

You are afraid of losing her because of some careless phrase.

Imagine that in her place is your old friend, with whom you do not plan any sexual relations, and the excitement immediately passes, your thoughts become clearer, you become witty and eloquent again.

From this we can conclude that it’s not about you, but about your attitude towards this girl.

You have overestimated her importance in your life, think about whether she is really so irreplaceable.

Try to treat her the same way you treat all the other girls around you, this will help you keep your mind clear and remain yourself.

Why is it beneficial to talk to girls on the phone?

Although it is now easy to arrange a first date by correspondence, there are still certain advantages to a telephone conversation.

— When a girl hears your voice and understands that you are a normal guy, her level of trust will increase sharply.

“She begins to perceive you as a person whom she has known for a long time.”

— Some jokes are better suited to real conversations.

— An attractive tone of voice will make you want to meet you in person.

“You will have the opportunity to impress her with excellent communication skills.”

But each communication method has both advantages and disadvantages.

If you make a number of serious mistakes during a telephone conversation, then your chances of a real meeting will sharply decrease.

Therefore, if you are planning to call her, make sure that you:

Relaxed, don't worry.
Sober.
You are in a secluded place where no one will distract you.
You understand who you are communicating with (you know her name, where she works, what she does).

Now that you have calmed down a little and set yourself in the right mood, we can move directly to the technical part of the telephone conversation.

How to start a dialogue

It is almost impossible to program a conversation in advance, but the beginning of a conversation can be easily planned. Use the following algorithm of actions:

Start the conversation with a simple greeting. Don't make anything up, say hello, good afternoon or something similar in a friendly way.
If the girl is not just your friend, but your beloved, you can add a few kind words. “Hello, my dear! Hello Beautiful!".
Then ask how she is doing, her mood and prepare to listen to the answer carefully. But don’t be silent all the time; during the conversation, show your interest in the conversation and its story.
When the girl speaks out, you need to bring up a topic to maintain the conversation and take the conversation to a different vector.

How long does an ideal telephone conversation with women last?

I used to answer: the longer you can hold her attention, the better.

I once spent hours talking to girls on the phone, but now I have radically changed my mind on this matter.

Now I am sure that a telephone conversation should last no longer than 30 minutes, especially if you have never met this girl before.

When you talk on the phone for 2 hours, it completely satisfies her interest and deprives her of the basic emotion that is critical to developing a lasting and strong attraction.

Do you usually spend hours talking with a cashier or courier? Of course not, because you don't need anything from them.

And if you talk to a girl for hours, she will understand that you: urgently need her, are not needed by anyone, are a slacker, are completely on her hook .

Not the best start to a relationship.

Another reason why you shouldn't talk to a girl on the phone for more than 30 minutes is that she will like you too much.

Yes, you read that right.

A long exchange of messages or a telephone conversation can arouse such strong feelings in her that she will create an image of an ideal man in her head, which is very difficult to live up to in real life.

In this case, you are clearly making your task more difficult.

When you meet in person, she will probably be disappointed and feel deceived no matter how attractive you are.

This is why the ideal length of a telephone conversation is between 10 and 30 minutes.

You need to be careful not to create too much of an emotional connection because it's more natural to do that on a first date.

How to interest a girl in order to attract her attention?

In this block we talk about the qualities that need to be improved in order to attract attention and interest. First, understand one simple thing: if you can’t get girls interested now, then you’ll have to change something. These changes may not be easy - the result depends on your persistence and level of self-knowledge. We will provide a complete list, but you are free to choose the appropriate items yourself.

Another important point: remember that women are people too. Accordingly, in order to become more attractive to them, you will need to become, in principle, a more interesting and communicative person. This does not mean that lines of gays will follow you. This means that first of all, universal personal qualities and communication skills are improved, and only then behavioral strategies regarding girls appear.

So, here's what you need to take care of:

Appearance. They always greet you by their clothes - remember? The first opinion about a person is formed in 7 seconds. You may not even have time to speak, and during this time the person is already deciding whether he is interested in at least saying hello to you. Appearance should be neat, well-groomed and attractive. To achieve this, take care of three aspects:

Cloth. It should be clean and ironed, modern and stylish. Being confident in casual wear is often enough, but you are free to experiment with your look if you are confident in your sense of style.
Body type. It is not necessary to have the figure of a seasoned athlete or bodybuilder. But the absence of excess weight, a muscular corset and posture will make absolutely any person more attractive.
Skin and hair. A couple of decades ago you didn’t have to worry about this at all, but now more and more men are trying to take care of themselves. To withstand the competition, get a stylish haircut, tidy up your beard, if you have one, and choose facial products that suit your skin type. This is not as difficult as it might seem, and the requirements for the appearance of men are still much less than for the body of girls. Remember hygiene, take care of your hair, facial skin, hands and feet.

Mind. Intelligence and outlook are important things for communication. Looking good but not joining the growing ranks of smart people won't give you much of a chance to have long, enjoyable interactions. In the era of Google, not studying is at least suspicious. It doesn't matter what exactly you are passionate about. It's important to be passionate about what you do and be curious about current social trends.
Confidence. Another important parameter, without which communication is not impossible, but difficult. You can choose a lively girl who will be touched by shyness. But everyone loves healthy self-confidence.
Communication skills. Active listening, the ability to remain silent at the right time, speak at the right time, flirt masterfully, ask at the right time or tell a story will make you more attractive, even if you missed the first points. But manners and communication skills most often go hand in hand with intelligence. Develop them together: it will be easier and more effective.
Respect. To yourself and the people around you. Without respect for yourself, you will not begin to like yourself - you don’t have to think about girls here for now. To feel your value to others, you must first believe in it yourself. Respect for others protects you from rudeness and meanness, which is also an undoubted and very big plus.
Determination. This is a little more than self-confidence: you not only realize your right to different actions, but also successfully implement it. Not a critical parameter, but determined people usually achieve more.
The desire for self-development. It is not enough to read ten or twenty books and scour the last months of news from scientific sources. You should always be interested and strive for more. Try it and start with an interesting area. You will like it yourself

End the conversation at the peak of her interest

When people need to receive positive feedback, they subconsciously reinforce the last emotion they experience during an event (watching a movie, going out to dinner, going on a first date, or having a phone conversation).

This means that if a two-hour movie was amazing up to 1 hour and 50 minutes, but the last 10 minutes were weak, then we would rate that movie as average.

The same goes for dating, texting, and calling women.

In any case, you need to say “bye” at the peak of emotions so that the woman remembers the feeling of joyful excitement, intrigue, and anticipation of something amazing.

When you are having a lively conversation with her about something, she laughs and clearly wants to continue the conversation, tell her the following:

“Now I have to hang up because I have to run to work/train/plane, but I’m not saying goodbye, I’ll write in a couple of minutes.”

Ability to give compliments

Any woman is pleased to hear a compliment addressed to her. It is important to be able to give compliments correctly, avoiding rudeness, vulgarity, and ambiguity. When meeting a girl for the first time, the easiest way is to praise her appearance, because nothing is known about her personality yet. It is acceptable to give compliments about appearance as long as they are polite and unobtrusive.

The problem with praising one's appearance is an unpredictable risk: girls attach great importance to appearance and a man's praise may be inappropriate. For example, a brunette who dreams of blonde curls will probably get angry when someone compliments her natural hair color. A short girl who wants to appear taller will be offended by words that emphasize her diminutiveness. Therefore, compliments of appearance should deviate as much as possible from unchangeable physical data. It is better to praise the general image, dress sense or makeup.

Giving a compliment to a girl you know is much easier. Knowing about her hobbies, interests, and aspirations, you should build on her achievements: praise specific skills, celebrate successes. One can note taste in literature, cinema, music. Such types of praise simultaneously make it clear that the man is interested in the individual and has similar tastes. But most of all, a woman is attracted by sincerity; when a man is in love, he behaves honestly, openly, and such attention cannot be indifferent.

Purpose of the phone call

It is important to know the purpose of the first phone call.

You could say the goal is to take her out on a date or have a good time, but those are bad goals!

The basic principle is this:

You can get absolutely everything from a girl (kisses, sex, marriage, regular meetings) if you can maintain a high level of her interest.

If you want to get EVERYTHING from a woman, then first of all you need to increase her level of interest by demonstrating that you have qualities that women like.

If you want to avoid awkward silence, you must clearly understand what to talk about with a girl on the phone.

Make a rough list of topics.

Just don’t write a script for the entire conversation; your list of topics should be more like cheat sheets rather than essays.

Just mark the usual phrases for yourself to avoid the stupid “mmm..., well, what’s new with you?” or awkward silence.

Below is a rough list of good talking points that you can use to fill any awkward gaps in conversation:

Preparing for the conversation

It seems that there is nothing complicated about calling a pretty girl, but this is only from the outside. Just dialing her number to ask for a second date would be trivial and, to some extent, would sound like an obvious interest in moving too quickly to full intimacy. Girls prefer romantic courtship with gradual progress towards the goal.

In addition, over the phone you can continue your acquaintance and ask questions that you didn’t get to at the first meeting. The main thing is to try not to ruin everything. I've already managed to make a first impression on the girl. But the second is no less important. Preparation is all the more necessary when the guy himself is worried, doesn’t know what to talk about and doesn’t feel completely confident. An approximate conversation plan and advice from psychologists will help you find it:

General issues

Talk about what interests her.
Discuss popular films.
Discuss your favorite TV shows.
Ask “what if” questions.
Fantasy vacation spot.
Fantasy date.
Fantastic job.
Personal and professional goals.
Discussion of music past, present and future.
Discuss your favorite foods, movies, and places to visit.
Find out what she likes to do in her free time and how often she gets to do it.
Talk about your favorite activities.
Talk about the past.
Discuss your favorite books.
What was the strangest dream she had?
Ask her about where she grew up.
Ask if she has her own company and close friends whom she completely trusts.
Find out what she did last weekend (this may give you an idea of whether she likes to party or prefers quieter evenings).

Personal questions4

Name the happiest memory from your childhood.
Tell me about the worst date of your life.

What's your weirdest habit?
Have you ever broken someone's heart?
How do you behave with people who irritate you for no apparent reason?
Do you say “yes” or “no” more often?
What is the main reason that makes you get up in the morning?
What motivates and inspires you?
What things would you like to forget?
What do you regret most in this life?
Who couldn't you live without?
What is your main goal in life at the moment?
Is there anything you can say with 100% certainty that you will never do?
If you were a stereotype, what would it be?
What character trait do you consider to be your best?
What's the worst advice you've ever been given in your life?
Do you like adventure or do you prefer routine?
Can you tell us about the closest and most trusting relationship you have ever had?
What are you most afraid of?
What do you like to do more than anything in the world?

Live the moment

· Ask her to describe in detail everything she sees right now.
· Talk about mutual friends, find out if you have connections.
· Offer a game in which each of you takes turns adding one word until it forms a coherent sentence.
· Ask her to describe her appearance, such as eye color, face shape, hair length.
· Ask her to describe her day as if she were telling a fairy tale.
· If she had to start her life in a completely new city, where would she go and what would she do?

Know a lot4

In addition to general topics of conversation, a girl should always be interested in her conversation. In order for the conversation not to be one-sided, the guy needs to be extremely literate and comprehensively developed in order to show his degree of intellectual development. Any guy or man should keep this nuance “on target.”

To do this, it is necessary to explore the world, science, and various humanities in every possible way. Even if the share of knowledge is not as deep as the professor, thanks to the correct delivery of the speech, the guy will already seem interesting and will definitely attract the attention of his interlocutor in the conversation.

Vulnerability

Ask her to tell you about the most difficult day of her life.
Talk to her about spirituality and how important it is to her.
When was the last time she listened to her inner voice?
When was the last time she actually had to work hard at something?
What does she do when she needs to clear her thoughts of various nonsense?
What makes her different from other people?
Does she consider herself needy or independent?
When an opportunity arises, does she grab it or play it safe?

Dig a little deeper

· Ask her if she would like to write a book and what it would be about.
· What song does she really like and why?
· If she could go to any store and get whatever she wanted for free, what would she grab first?
· Has she ever participated in protests?
· What, in her opinion, is the worst crime?
· Ask her to describe the most exciting sight she has ever seen.
· What does she do when faced with injustice?
· What is her signature dish or drink?
· How does she think social media has changed relationships?
· Weirdest person she's ever met?
· Has she ever acted in movies or TV shows?
· Who is her favorite celebrity?
· What does “disrespect” mean to her?
· Has she ever quarreled with strangers?
· If she could go back in time, what would she change?
· What habit would she like to break?
· If she became president, what would be the first thing she would change in the country?

Cool

Do you think baldness suits girls?
Are there any differences between the frog princess and the toad princess?
How to take revenge on your boss: put pepper in your tea or feed herring with milk?
Platypus or duckbill, which is correct?
If you pour water into an aquarium for a fish, will it drown?
If I were an animal, what kind would I be?
I don't understand what the difference is between a snowman and a snowwoman. And you?
How did ancient women shave their legs?
Do woodpeckers get concussions?
Do bald people have dandruff?

Accompany humorous SMS with emoticons, gifs, pictures. React violently to the lady’s answer if you find it funny. Make jokes in response so that the chain of letters is not interrupted by silence.

Unusual, tricky questions to a friend allow you to get to know the lady better, putting your interlocutor at a dead end. Please note that awkward phrases with a catch do not imply humiliation of female dignity, it is simply a provocation for a frank conversation.

Girls deceive men so often, do they like it? Why?
Imagine becoming a man for 1 day. Your actions?
Why can't you forgive a guy?
Do you have a price?
Is vulgarity cool?
Do you want to get married and become a housewife?
Do you have complexes about your appearance?
Which guys are not your type?
Do you do crazy things?
Ever danced a striptease?