How long should a first kiss last?
One of the confusing questions about most first kisses is how long should it last?
It's better to keep it short and sweet than to awkwardly linger with your lips pressed against hers or torment the girl with your swirling tongue. Remember that this should be pleasant, you should feel a little hot, your heart rate should increase.
If you like it, you can step away for a few seconds and then come back again. This allows you to take a break and make the kiss more sexual.
At the end you can say the magic phrase:
"I've wanted to kiss you for so long"
This statement works great and has a very positive effect on the girl.
Warming up 3
No less a large class than asexuals, which, however, has a specific goal, clear from the name. Includes light and French kisses, as well as “hickey” kisses.
- Lungs. It should be noted here that they, in turn, are divided into several genera:
- Sliding. Applied as if casually, teasing in some way, awakening desire. They are an excellent start to foreplay, acting as a “seed” for a man and the first sparks of passion for a woman. Their skillful integration at the beginning of a kiss “with the tongue” in the form of a complex of increasingly intensifying kisses on the corners of the mouth and separately on each lip ensures a rapid increase in the partner’s lust due to a miniature game of “limiting” the kiss.
- Descending and Ascending. As is clear from the name, they are produced along a conventional line that maintains the general direction from top to bottom and vice versa. The former are optimal for the transition from the face to the torso and chest, the latter - from the hips to the groin and abdomen.
A classic downward line of kisses can be called a sequence starting from the earlobe, going down the neck to the spine, moving along the shoulder through the collarbone to the clavicular cavity, from there to the valley between the breasts.
In the same way, a traditional ascending line can be called a line starting from the knee or popliteal cavity, wrapping around the thigh through the outer side to the inner side and going “snake” to the groin.
- With a bite. They are distinguished by the use of very weak, almost symbolic, bites, alternating with equally light kisses. The area of application is quite narrow - chest, ears, lips.
It is important to note that, generally speaking, the use of bites is a matter of taste. On the one hand, a kiss followed by a light bite and vice versa creates a wonderful contrasting sensation. On the other hand, in a fit of passion, the force can be miscalculated and cause pain to the partner, which can be extremely unpleasant for him.
- French. Used in the second half of foreplay and during coitus. Can be combined with bites (at the discretion of the partners and with the same precautions as light kisses with a bite). Notable for their very high level of sensuality through the use of language. Not recommended for use in cold weather due to its “humidity”. Your partners' lips won't freeze, but chapping those same lips is an easy task.
- “Hickey.” One of the controversial types of kissing. Applicable when kissing the skin, they leave behind traces of varying degrees of visibility, depending on the strength and duration of the kiss - from redness for a couple of tens of minutes to a bruise for several days. The controversy stems precisely from the marks left behind - some take them calmly and even proudly wear the so-called “lover's mark” - a strong hickey on the neck, approximately halfway between the collarbone and jaw; others, on the contrary, consider them an unacceptable element of erotic games and react very negatively to attempts to leave a mark.
What is the perfect kiss?
Everyone wants their first kiss to be perfect. But what does ideal mean? In my opinion, the ideal kiss is one that occurs between two people who are in love and attracted to each other. And as long as the couple’s intentions are good, then the kiss will be good.
So don't worry if it doesn't go exactly like in the movies! By the way, even if you turn to them, you will notice that everyone kisses differently.
This is manifested in everything - the position of the hands, head, body, tilt towards the girl and distance, even the very “attachment” to the lips is different for each actor.
Therefore, you will have your own personal style. If she reaches out to you for another kiss, it means you are delightful, sweet, ideal for her.
Don't worry about technical details. Just make sure that when you suck on her lips, the pressure on them does not increase (don't turn into a vacuum cleaner). This should all happen delicately and affectionately.
My first kiss was terrible, yet I fell in love with this guy. He sucked my two lips at the same time and so hard that they then hurt for a very long time and severely. Then it seemed to me that this was the only correct option. Yeah, his wife won't be so lucky.
What we must not forget
Kissing is, of course, not quantum physics; sooner or later everyone masters the necessary technique. However, if you are still more of a theorist than a practitioner, then it is worth remembering some important points that can seriously affect your future relationships.
Do not rush
Perhaps your more experienced friends believe that you need to kiss a girl on the first date, otherwise you are not a macho man. Of course, a lot depends on what kind of relationship and what degree of trust has been established between the two partners. But personally, I strongly recommend not to perceive this opinion as the only correct one.
For girls, such a rush is not always justified. Of course, if you are both in the same mood and don’t want to put off kissing for a minute, that’s great!
However, remember that your girlfriend may not want to rush things. She may not be ready for this step and first prefers to make sure that your feelings are serious. Or she thinks that after the kiss she will immediately seem more accessible to you. In general, understanding what is going on in girls’ heads at such a moment is as difficult as solving Newton’s binomial. Therefore, if you are not one hundred percent sure, it is better to hold off on kissing. You may not seem very decisive to her, but you won’t give the impression of an ill-mannered lout.
Practice
If you are not yet a pro at kissing, then before you invite a girl on an important date, you should practice a little.
Once you have a thorough understanding of all the intricacies of this art, you will be much less nervous when it comes to practice. Naturally, in such an intimate process there are enough little things to feel unsettled, get scared and present yourself not in the best light. Therefore, before a date, I recommend that you carefully study the existing techniques and rules for kissing.
In our article “How to kiss correctly” you will find detailed instructions on how to become a guru and not be afraid to take the initiative in kissing.
Remember that any awkward situation can end positively if you approach it and yourself with humor. So try to rehearse your first kiss and don’t forget to smile.
Choose the right moment
Even if you have already organized a date during which the first kiss is planned, it is not so easy to understand when the right moment has arrived. You need to carefully monitor the girl’s behavior and correctly interpret the signals she sends you.
You can be sure that you are on the right path and a kiss, as they say, is just around the corner if:
- she doesn’t mind if you are regularly in the so-called personal comfort zone (closer than half a meter from her);
- during a conversation she looks into your eyes and at your lips;
- on a date she smiles a lot and plays with her hair;
- if you touch her, she doesn't move away.
Find the perfect place
It will be better if your first kiss happens in a romantic setting. At such moments, girls prefer to be alone with their handsome prince, so try to avoid noisy places with large crowds of people. An apartment with a pre-thought-out setting is perfect for a first kiss: dim lights, lit fragrant candles, or a quiet romantic bench in the park, or an observation deck with a beautiful view. I advise you to choose a suitable option in advance so as not to be nervous and not to put off such an important moment because you couldn’t find anything worthy.
Traditional “kissing spots” in cinemas are more suitable for couples who have been together for some time and know each other well. For the first time, a girl will most likely want to see her partner’s face and whisper affectionately to him, and not try to shout over the dialogue of the characters in the next blockbuster.
Avoid sudden movements
When it comes to kissing, technique and the delicacy and respect with which you do everything are equally important. Remember that under no circumstances should a girl be forced into a kiss, even if it seems to you that she is just flirting with you and pretending to be hard to touch.
To achieve a romantic atmosphere and clearly show her your intentions, you can do the following:
- sit or come as close to her as possible;
- look her straight in the eye;
- slowly lean towards her and touch her mouth with your lips.
If you do everything slowly, then the girl will have the opportunity to clearly let you know whether she is interested in a kiss, or whether it is better to slow down for now.
So that there are no secrets left for you in the art of the first kiss, I recommend watching special videos on this topic, for example:
Don't be afraid of rejection
Although we all hope that our romantic impulse will be reciprocated by our partner, sometimes events do not develop the way we would like. You don’t need to immediately set yourself up for pessimism, but you should still think through your actions in advance in case she says “no.”
Firstly, you must understand that there is nothing wrong with refusal. Maybe now is simply not the best moment for a kiss - she has a headache, or is worried about some problems with school or at home. It’s enough to give her time and who knows, maybe luck will smile on you on your next date.
Secondly, even if the refusal is final, and she doesn’t want to meet with you, there’s nothing terrible in that either. Yes, there is little pleasant, but try to find positive aspects here too. You will not waste time on a person who is not interested in you and will be able to meet your true soul mate sooner.
Remember that any experience, even negative, will help you make fewer mistakes in the future and will generally be useful in different life situations.
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Should I ask her permission first?
Some people think that before kissing you should ask the girl if she wants it. Let's try to figure out together whether this is necessary.
In fact, this behavior may seem a little old-fashioned and not very masculine. Moreover, even without words, the girl is able to clearly indicate that she will not object.
Of course, you shouldn’t unequivocally reject the option of asking a direct question. A kiss, like many other things in a romantic relationship, should occur according to mutual desire. Therefore, if you are absolutely sure that the girl agrees to a kiss, then you can do without additional requests. If your beloved is very shy, and you are not able to unambiguously interpret the hints that she gives you, then the option of asking a question may be useful.
This way you will not only avoid an awkward moment, but also show her that you care and do everything so that she likes what is happening between you.
How to choose the right moment for a kiss
To kiss the girl you like, the first thing you need is to find a secluded place. This is very important, especially for the first kiss. People who are nearby can distract and ruin the moment.
I don’t recommend kissing during the movie, especially the first kiss.
The second thing you should pay attention to is the right moment.
When to do this? If you're on a date, kissing usually happens towards the end, especially the first time. As for the number of meetings, there are no clear dates. Some teenagers can date for a month and never kiss, but girls aged 26-30 are ready to kiss on their first date.
By the way, read How to ask a girl out on a date: simple ways (opens in a new tab).
In general, the best time is when you want it. If you feel that the atmosphere is conducive and the moment has come, then act!
Any hesitation will make you look like an indecisive person. Or the girl will think that she is not interested in you and will no longer want to continue such a “sterile” relationship, in her opinion.
Ubiquitous 4
Kisses, actively used both during foreplay and during sex. In fact, they combine all kisses with sexual overtones, but, however, can be divided as follows.
- Head and shoulders. Kisses covering the relevant area. The most applicable are ears, cheeks, lips, chin, neck, collarbones and clavicular cavity, shoulders. The nose, eyes, forehead are involved either in a fit of insane joy, when the whole face is covered with a huge number of light kisses.
- Chest and arms. Mostly, light kisses, bites and hickeys are used with the consent of both partners or in a fit of reckless passion.
- Belly and lower back. Similar to the previous ones, but in addition, a tongue is used, which can be used to slide along the main lines of the body, interspersed with kisses: along the spine or lumbar hollows, along the abdomen or across the upper part of the groin area.
- Groin, buttocks and thighs. It is actively used in preparation for oral sex, as well as as part of the completion of foreplay and the transitional stage to sex. The main directions run along the thighs from the outer to the inner surface, or along a spiral encircling the thigh along an ascending trajectory - from the knee to the groin.
- Shins and feet. Places that get surprisingly little kissing outside of BDSM play and the foot fetish community. However, the basic directions are similar to the hip movement.
How to kiss a girl correctly if you're nervous
It's normal to be a little tense before kissing someone. Moreover, this does not depend on age; some people did not have their first kiss even at 25 years old.
If you or your girlfriend are very shy and have never kissed before, then the best solution is to take it slow. Don't be pushy or pushy, let everything happen naturally. Let's say you planned this moment, and then it didn't happen - no big deal. After some time, you will come back to this again and do it.
If kissing on the lips is too revealing for you, you can first gently kiss her hand (just bring it up and press it to your lips, slightly opening them), or in the same way gently kiss her on the cheek.
Any of these options can develop into a real kiss on the lips now or a little later.
Fingers
The fingertips have a huge concentration of nerve endings, making them sensitive to everything from short, staccato kisses to sucking and biting.
When you lick her fingers, she gets an idea of your oral skills and pictures of what it might be like when you lick and kiss her more intimate areas.
How to kiss if you have braces
- If a girl has braces, just don't focus on them. Kiss your lips lightly and gently, then everything will go smoothly.
- When you have braces, it is very important to brush your teeth and avoid problematic foods that might get stuck in them before kissing.
- If you kiss a girl with braces, be careful with the back of them - that's where the sharpest parts are.
- In case you both have braces, don't worry, your braces won't interlock! It's just a myth.
Lower and back of the neck
You probably already know that she likes it when you start from the neck - it creates a certain feeling of vulnerability that drives her crazy. If you turn on absolutely any romantic film, you will see that everything always flares up right from the neck.
Lift up her hair if it's long, kiss and gently nibble the area from her hairline all the way down to her shoulder and collarbone. It's sure to give you goosebumps every time.
