Any relationship, friendly, business, romantic, begins with the first conversation. We try to use the maximum of our resources and show ourselves at our best so that the relationship has prospects for development. This is especially true when communicating with a girl you like: one awkward word and the impression of your interlocutor can be ruined. That is why many people wonder how to communicate with a girl in person, on social networks, what topics should be touched upon, and which ones should be avoided. Proper dialogue can be the starting point for the development of strong relationships.
How to start a conversation with the girl you like
If you meet a girl on the subway, at work, on social networks, and it seems to you that she is the one, you should try to start a conversation with her and attract attention. To do this, you need to know some techniques so as not to scare off the girl you like and make a good impression when communicating with her.
In person
Nowadays, few people deliberately meet people on the streets; in the age of the Internet and social networks, this can be done at home on the computer. However, it often happens that while standing at a bus stop, or collecting purchases in a cart in a store, you catch your eye on a girl who at first sight appeals to you. In such a situation, behind the avatar on social media. You can’t hide in networks; you can easily miss a girl if you don’t try to talk to her. Many guys fall into a stupor, because this is not an easy task. You need to act quickly, but not frivolously, it is important to leave a good impression, and then there is a chance that the girl will leave you her phone number.
Reputable men's magazines and popular psychologists recommend modeling such a situation in advance so that when it arises you do not become numb with fear and uncertainty.
To do this, they give advice on how to behave and what to talk about for the first time with the girl you like.
:
- Mood
. Get in the right mood, create an aura of friendliness and confidence around yourself; a girl will not carry on a long conversation with a gloomy guy. - Evaluate yourself
. First of all, this concerns appearance. If you have the opportunity to prepare for an acquaintance, it is better not to miss it and take care of clean hair, nails, bad breath and neat clothes. Even if you shine with eloquence, an unkempt appearance can easily scare a girl away from you. - Choose a place
. If you deliberately go “hunting”, choose places that are conducive to this: parks, museums, cafes. Make sure the location you choose is crowded, well lit and there are a lot of people around. Trying to meet someone in a dark alley can end in disaster. - Plan your conversation
. There are no specific scripts for communicating with the opposite sex, but this is for the best. Try to maintain a light, friendly tone, do not show emotions that are not typical for you, be calm, the main thing in communication is naturalness.
When talking to a girl, try not to gesticulate excessively or present the desired emotions as real ones. For example, if you are distinguished by a calm disposition, measured in communication, you should not pretend to be a merry fellow and tell jokes, your deception will literally be written on your face.
The place has been chosen, the girl has too, it’s time to start a conversation. It is important to quickly navigate and choose the most suitable method for the first phrase. Dialogue initiation can be contextual, directive, or formulaic.
Contextual phrases
These phrases are selected based on environmental conditions, the girl’s appearance, and her actions. The main thing in this approach is to quickly assess the situation and generate a suitable phrase.
Here are some examples
:
- Do you know where the famous coffee shop is located on this street? Would you like to go on a search with me?
- Let me hide you from the rain. Such inclement weather, and you are without an umbrella.
- I think I've confused you with Elizabeth Olsen (any suitable celebrity). Has anyone ever told you that you look like her?
Such phrases are extremely advantageous; the girl will be sure that you really liked her.
Directive phrases
These phrases do not give the girl time to think, because you immediately talk about your intentions
:
- What are you doing this evening?
- You are stunningly beautiful, what is your name?
- I think I found the girl of my dreams, can you share your phone number?
This way to start communicating with a girl is suitable for confident guys who are able to please anyone at first sight.
Template phrases
These phrases can either help when meeting a girl or ruin communication with a girl.
:
- Do you happen to think that we met somewhere?
- Call an ambulance, I'm losing consciousness from your beauty!
- Doesn't your mom need a son-in-law?
The last phrase is not at all recommended to be used, but if you decide, pronounce the words confidently and do not go into seriousness; cliched phrases should have a touch of humor.
Whatever format of first communication you choose, try to behave naturally and be confident in the words spoken. Moderate persistence and good spirits are the key to a positive first impression and pleasant communication.
In the Internet
One of the most popular ways to meet a girl is to write to her on social networks. Under such conditions, it is easier to start a conversation, especially if it is difficult for you to make the first contact directly. It’s better to start communicating with a girl after studying her interests; it’s much easier to do this on social networks than on the street. Check out her profile, see what music she listens to, what bands she is in. You can start a conversation by discussing the film, look at what posts she comments on, in interest groups you can enter into a discussion with her.
If your goal is long-term communication, try not to zealously defend your beliefs; if you met her in an interest group, but your opinions differ in some way, do not try to defend your point of view at all costs. Show diplomatic skills, show that you understand the topic that interests her.
If little is known about a girl’s interests, but you still want to get to know her, you can use all the possibilities of social networks for this. Particularly timid guys start by liking photos, thereby attracting the girl’s attention. However, you need to remember that some ladies think that writing first is bad manners, and they are waiting for the guy to make the first move. Therefore, if you decide to like all her photos, it is better to secure the result with a friendly message. Wish her a good day or compliment her on her appearance, this will definitely increase your chances.
When communicating online, try to express your emotions in a way that she can understand. Use emoticons more often; this will create the impression of a friendly, easy-going person. However, at first, do not get carried away with hearts and other ways to express deep sympathy, this may alienate some girls.
The Internet is one of the most profitable platforms for dating, where you can find out about her interests and definitely won’t scare her off, as might be the case with an unexpected acquaintance on the street. The main thing is to remember to maintain a positive attitude and interest when communicating.
Duration of the first conversation and conversation topics
The first conversation will largely determine the possibility of further communication, so it is important to immediately make a good impression on the interlocutor. If the place where you meet is the street, try to immediately make it clear what your goal is. An ordinary passerby may think that you are an advertising distributor, a scammer, or simply a dangerous person, so it is important in the first minute of the conversation to explain why you approached. For example, say that you were coming home from work, noticed her and decided to meet her, this will immediately eliminate the options of dealing with a scammer or a dangerous person. If the girl is interested, you should start a conversation.
There are topics that are usually discussed in the first minutes of communication with a girl, and some are best avoided
:
- Music, cinema
. One of the best topics that is extremely easy to talk about. Find out about the preferences of your interlocutor, about places where you can listen to music, about the best cinemas. Subsequently, this may become a reason to ask her out on a date. - Places for leisure
. Ask where the girl goes, what establishments she is interested in. - Miscellaneous
. Follow the circumstances; your interlocutor may be interested in talking about travel, architecture or the weather.
Some topics are best avoided. Don’t immediately start a conversation about past relationships, your financial situation, or your problems. Look at the reaction of your interlocutor; if the topic is unpleasant or uninteresting to her, change it.
Purpose and background i
First, think again and confirm whether you really can’t build a dialogue with the opposite sex. Because in reality, everything may turn out to be much better than your modesty or perfectionism allows you to believe. Observe other people and compare their conversation patterns with yours - and draw conclusions based on the results of the comparison.
Now about the background - if you get acquainted with the goal of simply making a friend without any sexual contact or anything else - this is one thing. If you are looking for a girl “for a couple of sticks of tea” - that’s another matter. And if you crave a long and stable relationship - even the third. Moreover, in all three cases you will need to use very different approach methods, which will be discussed a little below.
How to text with a girl
Virtual communication is a real art. Some topics can start a relationship, and some can completely scare away the girl you like. To prevent this from happening, you need to know how and what is best to write.
On social media networks
Study information about the interlocutor, this will help you talk about her interests. However, these topics should also be filtered; if a girl is subscribed to a group that exchanges used things, you should not start the conversation with “why do you like old used things?” Pay attention to the films, music, books that she mentions on social networks. If you don’t know much about this, study the subject of her interest, formulate your opinion in advance, this will help you understand how to behave with a girl.
If you meet her in an interest group, feel free to enter into a discussion, but don’t push. Show that the interlocutor and this topic are interesting to you, then communication can safely turn into personal messages.
By phone
If you happen to have a girl's phone number, but you don't know where to start the conversation, start by getting acquainted. This is important if she doesn't know your number. As soon as you introduce yourself, remind her under what circumstances you found out her number, mention how much you liked her. Monitor the situation, do not be too persistent if the girl is uncomfortable talking right now. Invite her to go to a cafe, to an exhibition in the park, to a place where you can talk longer.
Start of communication
