How to kiss a guy or get him to kiss you?

Svetlana Smyshlyak

philologist, writer, lyric poet

He calls you to meetings, takes you home, casts interested glances, but... doesn’t kiss you. Or perhaps he doesn’t pay attention at all, but you really want to arouse his interest! In any similar situation, it’s time to take the initiative and intrigue... with a kiss. How to kiss a guy if he is indecisive or does not notice the girl at all? How not to go too far and remain in his eyes a feminine, vulnerable beauty, and not a “male decision maker”?

Let's flirt!

If you can master the art of flirting perfectly, perhaps the young man will kiss you himself and will believe that it was his idea. At the same time, do not forget that flirting is a manifestation of your interest in sexual terms, therefore, do not be afraid to behave with him a little more relaxed than usual. In this case, you won't even need information on how to kiss a guy first. Below we will look at a few rules to remember.

Psychological portrait of a guy

Before taking active steps, you should carefully analyze everything you know about the personality of your chosen one. What does he prefer - active action or passive observation of events from the outside? How is your young man most often in the mood - maybe he is prone to pessimism or, on the contrary, he perceives life in a positive way? How does a young man make decisions - does he slowly think about the situation, weighing all the pros and cons, or does he “cut from the shoulder” and never regret his mistakes? It is important to pay attention to other character traits in order to create a holistic image.

Having analyzed the personality of your chosen one, you will be able to correctly assess the reasons for his passivity. If the guy is somewhat childish and in most situations, including the first acquaintance, the initiative belongs to you, then you should gently push the indecisive admirer to take active action.

Sometimes even self-confident gentlemen show shyness in the company of an overly active and bright girl. Such specimens should be made to understand that they will not be rejected and their pride will not suffer. In any case, such behavior guarantees sincere, deep feelings and serves as a guarantee that your chosen one is not one of the flighty ladies' men.

Compliments

Guys love to receive compliments, even more than girls! Focus your attention on those qualities that particularly attract you in him - his sense of humor, eyes, hairstyle, etc. Explain why you like these qualities. Mostly guys shower girls with compliments, but the opposite rarely happens. Therefore, this will allow you to stand out in his eyes.

Continuing the topic of how to kiss a guy correctly, it is worth noting that a good compliment should not be complicated. If you don’t understand exactly how to present it correctly, just look into his eyes, then say whatever you consider necessary at that moment, smile and continue the conversation on an unrelated topic.

Don't forget to breathe

It’s easy to forget about this: your nose is pressed against the nose of another person, your mouth is busy with the process itself, it’s not clear how to breathe. But you need to breathe, it won’t be very romantic if you suddenly start turning blue and wheezing.

Try breathing through your nose while doing this. If you feel that there is not enough air and you are suffocating, do not be afraid to pull away. Just smile and press your forehead to your partner's forehead, continuing to gently hold him in your arms and look into his eyes.

It's an intimate and tender gesture, and at the same time it will give you a moment to catch your breath. Don’t be afraid to show that you’re out of breath; your partner will be very pleased to see that he’s taking your breath away.

Start the conversation right

Of course, you are still far from knowing how to be the first to kiss a guy on the lips, but don’t rush - everything will happen on time. There is no need to start a conversation with a simple “hello.” A more interesting start to the conversation will give you food for discussion, but will not force you to ask the young man how he is doing. You can tell him what you are doing now, ask about your plans. You can joke with him casually. At the same time, it doesn’t matter at all what exactly you write to him, the main thing here is that he has a desire to write something to you in a response message.

Read "thoughts"

To understand how to please your partner, it is important to carefully observe how his body behaves, because in the process it is difficult to speak words through his mouth - since he is busy with other things. Here's what you need to remember:

• Different people like different kisses. If your previous partner liked one type of them, this does not mean that the next one will like the same. With each one you have to re-learn a little. This is fine.
• If your partner freezes in your arms, seems tense, awkward, his tongue and lips do not move - slow down, step back and ask if he likes everything and is he ready to continue.
• If your partner is more intense, he presses you harder, actively strokes you and responds - you are doing everything right, continue. You can move on to more intense caresses.
• A good indicator is sighs and moans, but if it seems to you that the moan is more painful than full of pleasure, pull back and ask if he likes everything.
• Try to kiss your partner the same way he kisses you, with the same intensity, depth and movements. Most likely, he will like it, and you definitely won’t make him feel uncomfortable.

The best way to find out if everything is OK is to ask directly. For example: “I really liked everything, and you?”, “It seemed to me that you felt uncomfortable when I (performed such and such an action). Don’t you like it that way?” - and similar phrases.

Watch yourself carefully

If you don't know how to kiss a guy, but want to do it, you should pay more attention to your own appearance. Of course, this does not mean that you should start putting kilograms of makeup on yourself. True, there are things that you can do to look more attractive. Pay close attention to the following:

1. Lips. If your lips are chapped, you can get rid of chapped skin using a regular toothbrush, carefully making a few strokes. Then apply balm to make them as soft as possible. When you need to highlight color, use lipstick. You really shouldn't wear lip gloss. It looks beautiful on the lips, but it’s disgusting to kiss, and besides, guys often don’t like its taste.
2. Smell. Young people are unconsciously drawn to girls who smell attractive to them. Shower at least once a day, use deodorant, and purchase a body spray that blends well with your own scent. Apply perfume to your wrist, opposite side of your kneecap and neck area. If you want your whole body to smell, use shower gel or scented soap.
3. Watch your hair. Many guys won’t pay attention to your hairstyle, but will appreciate how it looks overall. Add 10 minutes to your routine to get your hair in order.

Fresh breath

An important aspect of kissing, especially with the tongue, and simply basic politeness to your partner and others. Kissing a person and feeling the taste of the food that he has eaten for the last few days is such a pleasure.

In general: don’t forget to brush your teeth well before your date. You can use mints or chewing gum, but make sure they don't contain sugar: sugar will make your breath worse.

Removing the “touch barrier”

What do you think - if a girl kissed a guy on the lips, did she do something wrong? If the answer is yes, you need to learn to identify stereotypes and stop reacting to them. If we talk about touching in general, then by overcoming this barrier, you clearly and clearly make the young man understand your intentions. If he reacts to this normally, you can move forward. Here are some traditional examples of how this can be done:

• Sit closer to him. If you are sitting in a car or on the couch together, move closer to him. If he approves, you're on the right track.
• Try to take him by the hand. If you see a good opportunity to do this, take it. At the same time, do not cross your arms and do not squeeze your palm so that he also has the opportunity to touch you if he wants.
• Hug him. This is best done as a goodbye. To do this, lean towards him, put your hands on his shoulders or wrap them around his neck. In this case, light hugs should last no longer than 2-3 seconds. This is quite enough to feel closeness from touch without being embarrassed.

Women's tricks

Always remember that you are a woman. And real women usually get their way from men not with straightforward requests, but with many cunning tricks. The kiss situation should not be an exception! If you took into account all the previous tips, but the situation has not moved forward, then it’s time to use your secret weapon.

• The most convenient moment for a kiss comes when parting. It’s so natural to kiss each other goodbye. You can half-jokingly raise your hand to the guy’s lips, pretending to be a medieval lady. He will definitely feel like a knight and will touch your trembling and tender fingers with his lips. All! The first barrier of timidity has been overcome, and a start has been made.
• If, by the will of fate, you find yourself in a crowded crowd, you should not get lost. Turn your head so that he involuntarily touches your cheek with his lips. Let him feel the taste and aroma of delicate girlish skin. It’s really hard to resist a kiss, even if it’s fleeting.
• A wonderful reason for a kiss is your birthday or Valentine's Day. Here you can always take the initiative and offer your cheek or lips as if in gratitude for the gift. You can kiss a guy yourself without damaging your reputation and expect a kiss back. A well-mannered young man will have nowhere to go.
• If you are having fun in a group, then a game of spin the bottle will be an excellent excuse for a “legal” kiss. Share the idea with your friends and don't miss your chance.
• Sometimes the impetus for a kiss can be accusations that the guy is indifferent to you. Threaten to break up with him, and your chosen one will have no choice but to confirm his love with an action - that is, a kiss.

Stay alone

Let us immediately note that guys often say that girls roam in flocks and it is very difficult to communicate with them alone. Try to make this task easier for him. Get away from the crowd or just get some air. If you want to be absolutely sure that you are alone with a young man, you can simply invite him on a date.

If you try to catch him alone, find an excuse to take him away from the company. Ask if he can step away for a moment, offer to go home together or help with tedious errands. But this, of course, is not all the information about how to kiss a guy.

Suitable place for kissing2

In order for the first kiss to become truly memorable, a romantic atmosphere is needed. A cinema or a cozy cafe can easily provide such an environment, but a nightclub is unlikely to be suitable, as they are always noisy. There is no need to eat a lot before a kiss, but it is better to try to get your boyfriend to eat a little. When kissing, he should think about you, not about food.

It is very important not to overdo it with alcoholic drinks, you don’t want to get a romantic standing near the toilet instead of a loving kiss, waiting for your drunk boyfriend. On the contrary, a minimal amount of alcohol will help the girl cope with her shyness, and the guy will relax.

Seize the moment

If you plan everything correctly, the environment will do half the work and help him see you in a rather sexy light. Please take into account the following circumstances:

• Don't be afraid of silence. Listen to the silence instead of chattering incessantly. It's also music. If you don’t know how to kiss a guy, remember that he won’t be able to do it for you unless you stop talking.
• Try to be alone with him so that there are no prejudices or barriers left regarding what people will think of you.

Principle of consent

Kisses and any romantic or sexual manipulations are associated with many emotions of shyness, timidity, and lack of understanding of what can and cannot be done. Often people try to act at random and end up making their partner feel bad.

Or vice versa: they are too timid and show indecisiveness when their partner has long wanted more. Solving the problem... Conversation. A simple conversation to find out if the person wants the same thing as you.

This may seem unromantic or mood-killing, but try to think about it this way: how would you feel or feel at the thought of your partner wanting to kiss?

That he considers your feelings and wants it to be mutual? That he is ready to take a decisive step, to speak openly about his desire, although he risks being rejected?

Agree, it’s romantic and shows the depth of feelings. So why do you think that they will think badly of you (consider you unsure, weird) if you openly ask for it?

How to do this without ruining the moment:

• How to formulate the question? Keep it simple. Just say: “Can I kiss you?”, “I want to kiss you.” Is it possible?”, “Do you mind reuniting with your lips?”, “I really want to do this with my tongue. You do not mind?"
• Speak in a soft, gentle tone, looking your partner in the eyes, with a slight smile. Realizing that someone is attracted to you is exciting and pleasant. Don't be shy to show it.
• What to do if your partner refuses? Accept it with dignity. This is not always what a person wants, even if you are in a relationship. He may be shy, tired, or simply out of sorts.

If this happens, just smile and nod: “Okay. Then we can…” and offer another activity. Don’t ask why he doesn’t want to, don’t insist. A person has the right not to want any manipulation with his body. This is fine.

Kiss

So, we come to the main question - how to kiss a guy? Now you can dare to take this step. If you're feeling brave, test your boyfriend's reaction by kissing him on the cheek when you wish him goodnight. If he likes it, you can kiss him on the lips next time. The kiss should not be fleeting and quick. Using soft lips, touch the cheek area near the ear or corner of the mouth. He will understand this conditioned signal as a call to action.

Visual contact. Feel free to look into his eyes. Do this often, especially before the kiss itself. This is incredibly romantic, and also shows that you are a sincere and honest person. Your body language should be extremely clear. In this case, you will be able to tell him about your own condition without any words. Your posture should be open, in which case it will be easy for him to lean towards you for a kiss. If you kiss him first, it won't come as a surprise to him.

Don’t cross your arms over your chest, don’t clench your fingers, don’t hug yourself with your arms. If you are very worried, close your hands behind your back, in this case you will look more open. Change the position of your body depending on the location of the young man. When you stand still, your fingers should be directed in his direction, your knees when sitting. Cross your ankles, but not your legs. Also, you don't need to cross your legs tightly when sitting. It’s better to cross your ankles - this pose is open, but it doesn’t look vulgar.

Don't hide your excitement. If you fidget in place, blush, and begin to wrap strands of hair around your fingers, let it go! These are obvious signs that you like him, and he'll probably take it as a compliment. Move closer to him. Find an excuse to sit or stand as close to him as possible, so that your face is a couple of centimeters away from him. Now make eye contact.

Watch the guy's reaction carefully. It will be clear that you want to kiss him, therefore, watch his reaction. It may seem to him that if a girl kissed a guy first, then this indicates her promiscuity. In this case, increase the distance and let him take the first step on his own. If he doesn't push you away, you're probably on the right track. Now you can make the hints obvious. At the same time, if you are not sure that he understands what is happening correctly, close your eyes and smile - this will become a signal to him what you want from him.

How to experiment

When you get used to it a little, the question arises: what to do next? How to diversify them, how to give pleasure to your partner, what if he gets bored? The questions are quite logical.

Here's how you can experiment:

• Speed ​​up. It’s better to be slow first, so as not to cause pain and listen carefully to your own and other people’s sensations, but then you can speed up the pace of tongue touches and lip movements - this is very exciting.
• Go deeper. It’s better to be light first, because you can scare off your partner with too assertive touches, but then you can try to go deeper. Note: It is better not to combine deepening with acceleration - this can inadvertently cause discomfort to your partner by unexpectedly sticking your tongue too deep.
• Increase the pressure, make the touches more intense, press your lips more tightly, press harder on your partner’s tongue with yours. Watch carefully whether he likes this, if not, return to lighter touches.
• Try running the tip of your tongue over your partner's teeth; this creates a tickling sensation that can be pleasant and unusual.
• You can try bites, but not too strong: most often, bites look erotic only in movies, but in life they simply cause pain. So get ready to remove your teeth if your partner doesn’t like it.
  

  First, try to squeeze your partner’s lower lip with your teeth gently, carefully, remembering that teeth are sharp and hard, and lips are very soft and sensitive, with a lot of nerve endings.

Kissing technique

How to kiss a guy? Your lips should be quite soft and your touch should be light. Lightly touch his lips at first contact. Movements should be gentle and slow, and should not be forceful. Only when you realize that he is enjoying the kiss can you deepen it slightly. There is no need to stretch your lips when kissing; this is not particularly romantic, and besides, it can be perceived incorrectly.

Find a use for your own hands. They should not rest on their knees. With the help of them you can improve your kissing. Place them on the guy's chest or shoulders, take his face in your hands or hug his neck. Run your fingers through his hair.

Now deepen the kiss. Once you get the hang of it, you can speed it up. Make it brighter, while changing its speed and intensity, and also try not to use any one kissing technique for too long. Try French kissing if you wish. You may not like it at all, although it may add romance. Now open your mouth slightly. Open your lips a little so that you can stick your tongue through them.

Lightly touch his bottom lip with it. This touch should be barely noticeable and can last no more than a second, then the tongue must be removed. If he likes it, he will answer you in kind. Tilt your head slightly to the side. Kissing using this technique is much easier if people's mouths are positioned at different angles. In this case, you will not clash teeth or noses.

Interrupt your kiss so that he wants to repeat it soon. You should stop before you run out of steam. If you stop at the moment when you get the taste, the guy will definitely want to repeat this experience. It is done!

How to avoid clashing foreheads and teeth

A question that worries, perhaps, everyone who is starting their journey to the amazing land of romantic dates under the starry sky. In fact, everything is much simpler than it might seem when you are just starting to kiss and are nervous.

• How to avoid butting heads: when leaning towards your partner, observe which way he tilts his head, and tilt yours, but in the opposite direction. Nothing complicated. The tilt should be slight, do not press your ear to your shoulder.
• How to avoid clashing teeth: act slowly and carefully, smoothly - then you will have better control of your movements. Don't open your mouth too wide - you're not trying to eat each other.
• What to do if this happens? Laugh! Apologize to your partner, check if he is in pain, offer help if it hurts - he will be pleased. This is just a funny situation between lovers, not the end of the world.