What makes a good communicator a good communicator? Why does someone get hooked after the first conversation, but the desire to communicate with someone disappears? This article will tell you the difference between these two types of interlocutors and help you become the one people want to communicate with. The happiness of being a good conversationalist is available to everyone, you can check it out.
Train your memory
After you've attended a lecture or read something new, summarize or write down the information.
It is best to use this method from early childhood, but it will also help adults. Do this regularly and your memory will gradually improve. If you constantly meet new people, but have trouble remembering names, use the method of American politician Henry Clay. He was known to be able to remember the name and circumstances of a meeting, even if he had only met the person once. The fact is that every evening before going to bed, he wrote down in a notebook the names of those he met during the day, and repeated them in the morning.
Useful exercises
Communication, like any other skill, needs regular training. You can hone your communication skills both on the battlefield, that is, by practicing in real communication with different people, and through exercises.
I will list the most effective methods that will help you stop being shy and improve your communication skills.
Plan for strangers
Set a goal for yourself: talk to at least three strangers every day. This doesn’t have to be a full-fledged conversation, just a few words is enough. For example, you are standing at a bus stop: ask the person standing next to you how long ago bus number n passed. You can ask the store clerk how fresh the fish is on the counter. If in a minibus you ask for the fare and say thank you, that also counts. If you make new acquaintances on the Internet, also check the “Done” checkbox.
You can find a lot of such reasons to talk. The main thing is not to mess around and not deviate from the plan: 3 people a day.
Phone call
If you find it difficult to start conversations with strangers in real communication, start with telephone conversations. For example, you need to check prices in a beauty salon. Do not go to his website, but call the administrator and find out all the details verbally.
The same applies to any services and organizations: public utilities, sections for children, fitness centers, pension funds, etc. If at first you are afraid of missing something important in the conversation, make a list of questions on paper, because this will make you feel safer and easier to navigate.
Conversation with furniture
Don’t worry, they won’t take you “where you should.” This is a very popular exercise in psychology, which is often given at various thematic trainings.
Choose for yourself any item in the apartment. It could be a chair, a closet, a houseplant, a book, or even a cat. Tell your chosen “interlocutor” how your day went yesterday, what plans you would like to implement in the near future, describe the plot of a movie you recently watched or the current news that everyone is talking about.
You may feel uncomfortable and strange at first. But with time it will pass. This training will help you stretch your brain and teach you how to express your thoughts competently and clearly.
Mirror
Surely you have already heard about this exercise. You need to stand in front of the mirror and start talking. You can take absolutely any topic. You can even say something incoherent.
The purpose of the task is to look at yourself from the outside and learn to control gestures, facial expressions, movements, gaze, etc.
Retelling
Most of us read something on social networks or websites on the Internet almost every day. These can be educational articles, entertaining posts, news feeds, etc. The essence of the exercise is to retell to yourself what you just read.
Try to convey the style, word order, and sequence of thoughts as accurately as possible. The retelling should be as close to the original as possible. If the article is lengthy, you can break it into several paragraphs and tell only part of it.
This exercise will help you shake up your vocabulary a little, and at the same time train your memory and attention.
Continue the thought
Turn on the TV on any channel or YouTube video, listen to what they say for 30 seconds, then turn it off (you can simply mute the sound or pause it) and try to continue the thought you heard.
This can be very interesting, because you will have to guess what is going on next, come up with something unusual, but logically appropriate in meaning.
Thanks to this exercise, you will learn to find non-standard solutions, develop mental flexibility and make your speech more interesting.
Listen carefully to your interlocutor
Don't talk incessantly, let the other person speak as well. Even if his speech is boring and tedious, try to express interest and answer. This attitude may be considered hypocritical, but it is based on a simple rule: treat people with the same respect that you want to receive in return. An open expression of displeasure or indifference will offend your interlocutor and show your bad manners.
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