Useful tips
You've probably been in a situation
when you liked a guy, but either you didn’t know how to talk to him, or you started the conversation with a fluttering heart.
After a short hesitant conversation, the girl is usually left alone with silence, desperately trying to come up with a topic for conversation.
Sometimes even starting a conversation makes us nervous
and say strange things. But don't be discouraged!
In this article you will find a list of topics
, which you can talk to a guy about.
These topics will definitely help you avoid unpleasant situations. You will never have to feel awkward again.
Communication
Nature has endowed representatives of the two gender groups with completely different attitudes and views on the surrounding reality. That is why, in order to understand what your chosen one is thinking or feeling, it is necessary to delve into the analysis of the level of instincts.
Guys try to take the pedestal, win the hearts of girls and feed their families. The ability to holistically understand the structure of the world helps to cope with these tasks. Their concentration on the goal is so strong that they filter out other information that is superfluous.
In addition, guys do not have the ability to flexibly perceive reality, as women do. Therefore, the main rule in the psychology of communicating with men is not to make hints, not to take words out of their context and not to rely on emotions and feelings.
I recommend directly expressing your opinions and desires. It is necessary to touch on one priority topic so that the gentleman can fully concentrate on it.
The most effective conversation will be one that is addressed to the mind and not to feelings. It will be easier to guide your chosen one to the right decision if he sees rationality in it.
Should I text him first?
Although there is a stereotype that a girl should not make the first move, in reality this is not necessarily the case. The guy should be more active in developing the relationship, but if he doesn’t even know that you exist, then why not point it out to him?
If you miss out on a potential soul mate, then no amount of pride can justify such a mistake. Take an example from the Japanese. It is customary for them that the girl makes the first step - and as a result, the number of divorces in their country is one and a half times less than ours. So feel free to write first.
How to learn to interact with the opposite sex
At all times, girls have represented a mystery. It is not for nothing that it is believed that male logic cannot stand up against female intuitive abilities.
Before you understand how to talk to a man, you need to understand his psychology. First of all, these are males. This means that they need to feel like leaders in all areas: from family to small hobbies.
But history does not know a single leader without a support group. Therefore, an important female role is to provide it, but not to abuse it. Doing everything instead of a companion is a bad idea. But many people consult with their beloved before making a decision or a certain undertaking. So tell him that the idea is excellent and he will definitely succeed.
Another factor concerns the fact that the Cavaliers are still children. They just grow up, just like their favorite toys. Cars become respectable cars, soldiers turn into employees.
So talk to him about one of these topics, even if you don’t know anything about it. And if you can remember the features, the conversation will last for hours.
There are a lot of options on how to properly communicate with a guy, but the above rules are basic. You need to take a closer look at your chosen one, observe his behavior, find out about his interests, and then interaction with him will be much easier.
Common Mistakes
Often partners joke about strange female logic. And in order not to become one of these girls, try to avoid the main mistakes:
- Express all the thoughts that come to mind. Not all of them are worth voicing. When thinking about a pressing problem, you need to give yourself time to look at it from different angles and make a final decision. This is especially true when discussing claims to relationships.
- Interrupt. The quality that most guys value is the ability to listen. In a male company, they usually listen to other people’s opinions, and only then express their own. It is advisable to follow their example and learn patience.
- Be a mystery to him. This advice can be found in all recommendations on how to please a man. But it is necessary to take into account that representatives of the stronger sex do not understand hints, so do not walk around, but directly say about your desires. Directness will help build a harmonious relationship where partners will feel satisfied.
Rules for communicating with a guy from psychology
A woman who wants to keep her lover should follow some tips to help the couple reach a new level:
Psychologist Daria Milai
Make an appointment
- Listen to your companion. It is important for him to share his experiences, talk about future plans and simply be heard. And sharing this with your loved one is much more pleasant. Therefore, be interested in his life, ask relevant questions, and also do not be afraid to talk about your views on things.
- Don't try to be “different.” If you decide to change your image, then you need to do it gradually. Because a sudden transition from jeans to minis and bright makeup will cause surprise. It’s better to go shopping together and choose the right things and jewelry. The main thing is not to try to completely reincarnate and be someone you are not. The guy fell in love with you for real. Therefore, it is recommended to take a course towards development, but not to miss your own essence.
- Avoid criticism. Men perceive it painfully, especially when it happens in the company of friends. Complaining can lower self-esteem and cause mistrust.
- Don't "saw". Doubts and dissatisfaction will only worsen relationships. Praise your partner and admire him. Otherwise, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to keep him around for a long time.
- Don't be smart. Showing off your intelligence to the fullest is a bad idea. After all, conversations with a lover are unscientific discussions. They should be light and not cause discomfort. This also affects his self-confidence.
Dating goals
It would seem, what could be the purpose of dating on the Internet? Of course, find your future husband. But it is not so! The purposes of online communication are quite varied and here are the main ones:
- Serious relationships are undoubtedly the most important goal of dating on specialized services. Becoming the happy owner of an engagement ring and a noble prince to boot is the dream of every girl, and dating sites will help make it come true.
- Friendship and communication - oddly enough, this goal also has a place on dating services. After all, love is not the only joy; sometimes you just want to communicate with a like-minded person, and it’s not always easy to find such a person among your friends.
- Finding a sponsor - whoever said “You can’t forbid living beautifully” was absolutely right, and some girls know how to make dreams of a luxurious life come true. To search for generous men who are capable of fulfilling any desires of the fair sex, there are plenty of sites on the Internet with sponsors and kept women.
- Intimate relationships - where would we be without them? It is not always only men who need such communication. Girls also want affection and tenderness in strong male hands. Starting a serious relationship only because of a lack of sexual satisfaction is simply stupid, because it is much easier to find a companion for the night online.
Having set your goals correctly, you can immediately cut off all unnecessary services that do not intersect with your plans and narrow your search by registering on only a few sites with the desired audience.
How to talk correctly with the man you love
Everyone knows that in a relationship the leading role goes to the woman. To build an eternal union, you need to approach it wisely. At my personal consultation you will learn about all the secrets of communicating with your chosen one. Let me give you some of them:
- Politeness and delicacy are the basic rules for any woman. Already at the first stage, you should take them as a basis, listen to what he says, and confirm interest with facial expressions or words.
- Does your partner have hobbies? Don't forbid him to spend time on them. After all, personal space is important for every person. Even if you want to spend all day long with him, try to curb this desire. Interaction with a guy should be measured, and then you are unlikely to get bored.
- Realize that in life together there are not only positive and negative moments. Everyday life and “gray” everyday life also happen, so try to diversify your relationships.
- Joint activities only bring us closer together. Therefore, put aside your shyness and ask your chosen one for help: let him feel reliable.
Why and in what cases should a girl take the first step?
Modern women are divided into two camps: some believe that a man should make the first step, others - vice versa. But there are some points that explain why a girl should start a conversation first:
READ
How to ask a guy out on a date: methods and actions
- the situation will be under the lady’s control;
- time is saved;
- men will love it;
- variety will be introduced into life.
When a woman sits and waits for the first step from a young man, she may not wait. Taking the initiative into her own hands, she controls the situation and manages her life independently. Another advantage of being the first to start a conversation with a guy is saving time. She will immediately know from his response whether he is interested in her. Perhaps the guy is shy to approach first or he already has a companion.
Many men appreciate the courage of girls who approach you to start a conversation first. They are pleased to know that the lady liked them. This allows them to relax and behave naturally during a conversation. A woman who takes the initiative becomes even more attractive.
Even if the man did not reciprocate, such an attempt will become a valuable experience for the young lady, because over time it will become easier for her to make acquaintances with representatives of the opposite sex.
How to stay interesting
To do this, you should regularly expand your horizons, show interest in new events and people around you.
Face-to-face consultation
What are the features and advantages of face-to-face consultation?
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Skype consultation
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You can become a fascinating conversationalist if you have a hobby. A passionate girl will always share positive emotions and amazing facts.
Please note that feminine themes are unlikely to interest your gentleman. He will be bored hearing about outfits, celebrity romances or gossip.
However, tips on how to communicate with a guy are only general recommendations, since each case is individual. The only thing you definitely need to follow is to preserve your own identity. In the process of interaction, gentlemen are attracted to bright individuals from whom they can learn new things.
Preparatory work: before you write
Before surfing the vastness of a dating site, check if everything is in order with your virtual face - a profile that, like the right dress, should emphasize your strengths and hide your flaws. We have already discussed in detail how to fill out a profile for a girl on a dating site in order to leave a clear, succinct and vivid impression of yourself. Read it.
She put herself in order - with the attention of a tracker, she studied the profile of the guy to whom she was about to write, with desperately sparkling eyes. You need to know the enemy by sight. Any profile on a dating site, except an empty one, provides a lot of useful information. In particular, it answers the question of what words to write to a guy first. Cling to the information kindly provided.
A few myths about guys
The girls came up with them on their own and believed them. But the mystery lies in the fact that such opinions about them are too far from reality. Here are a few of these legends:
- They don't care about their appearance. Perhaps this phenomenon was common during the development of light industry, but even then some managed to follow fashion. Today, many of them visit barbershops, purchase branded clothing and closely monitor what is trending this season.
- They don't gossip. In fact, this is also common in male company. Gossip is simply ignored if there are ladies in the social circle, which is why it seems that a secret entrusted to a gentleman will forever remain a secret.
- They are not economical. This myth is quite beneficial for the stronger sex. After all, you can force a woman to cook dinner, and relax yourself, lying on the sofa. But somehow he lived for his beloved and did not remain hungry.
- They are afraid of the wedding. Phrases that he is not yet ready to get married are excuses for not taking a responsible step. When a guy meets someone with whom he is ready to live happily ever after, he immediately takes her to the registry office. But what they are definitely afraid of is divorce. According to statistics, it is mainly ladies who apply for it.
- They are ruled by sexual desire. Try thinking about it for a few hours. It's unlikely that this will work. In addition, one should take into account the peculiarity of male thinking, when in the process it is difficult for him to think about others. This is where the legend comes from.
Examples of good phrases for the first message
There are four main ways to start a VKontakte correspondence:
- General approach. The universal phrase for starting acquaintance is “Hello. Are you dating online?” - that’s all. You immediately show your intentions, allowing the other person to respond accordingly.
- Sincerity. Honestly describe the purpose of your acquaintance to the person. Try to be as sincere as possible. For example, “Hi. I understand that we don’t know each other, but now I’m terribly missing new people in my life, new communication, new acquaintances. Judging by your page, you are a very interesting person, so maybe we can try to chat? We both have nothing to lose from this.” In this case, honesty will be disarming - it will be difficult for your interlocutor to refuse you.
- Playfulness. Come up with a funny reason, even if it's a little absurd. For example, “Hi! I’m very bored right now, please recommend some good movie.” Yes, such requests don’t seem to be addressed to a stranger, but this only makes it all the more intriguing.
- Opinion. Give your opinion on something you see in a person's posts. It’s better if it’s positive, although it won’t hurt to argue a little if the topic is not very serious. "Hello. I saw your post in which you say that “The Alchemist” is the most powerful book by Paulo Coelho. But it seems to me that the ideas expressed in “The Diary of a Magician” are even deeper and more interesting. What was it about the book that hooked you?” Naturally, you need to focus on the person and his posts, trying to understand who wants to talk about more serious topics, and who, on the contrary, would like light communication.
These are just examples of the first messages. Be creative - and then the guy will definitely respond.
What to do when all the topics for communication are over? You will learn about this here.
Another good way to win a man's affection is to learn how to give a man good compliments.
Secrets of communicating with men
I will describe the most popular questions that concern any girl at the beginning of a relationship.
What to ask
I recommend talking about topics about profession, studies, hobbies and future plans for life. You can also talk about your favorite books, sports or animals. But you shouldn’t touch on “female” topics and love affairs in the early stages.
How to make a silent person talk
This is not an easy task, but the problem can be solved. Find out what his interests are: with the help of mutual friends or subscriptions to groups on social networks. If you are not knowledgeable in this area, then read the information. As you communicate, intentionally steer the conversation in the right direction. So, you will create comfortable conditions for a man, and he will be able to talk about his hobbies without stopping.
How to talk to a guy and keep the conversation going
To do this, you need to learn to ask the right questions. Avoid phrases that require a one-word answer of “yes” or “no,” otherwise you will quickly end up in awkward silence. And detailed formulations, on the contrary, will help to find other topics.
Also, make it a habit not to interrupt your interlocutor, even if you want to insert a word into the story. After all, cutting off mid-sentence means showing bad manners. In addition, you can lose the thread of the conversation, and you will not be able to find anything else to discuss when this topic is exhausted.
Ask a question
What to do if your boyfriend suddenly stops interacting
There may be many reasons for this: a new passion, loss of interest, difficulties in the service. But since, psychologically, guys are hunters, as soon as they conquer an object, they refuse to contact it.
Many men perceive falling in love as another victory, and again go looking for another victim. Therefore, during the period of communication, it is worth keeping him at a distance and fueling the fuse with changes from showing attention to indifference.
How to make contact
You should listen carefully to your interlocutor and try to understand the essence of the conversation. Don't try to show off your best side and show your intelligence through long monologues and stories about your successes and virtues. It’s better to learn how to easily communicate with men, because that’s what they look for in their chosen ones. Therefore, give up negative dialogues and discuss only good news.
How to talk about the future
The main thing is not to be persistent when talking about frankness, otherwise it will scare the guy away. But if you carefully guide him in the right direction, the partner will open up and become sincere. Start with small topics: vacation plans, goals for the near future. And then ask leading questions on the topic of interest.
How to delicately refuse communication
If the gentleman is too touchy, then you should not directly state this. It is better to keep interaction to a minimum: answer politely and not be active. Monosyllabic phrases will speed up the end of the conversation.
How to contact your ex
If you start communicating again, it is important not to remember past disappointments and grievances. Dissatisfaction, complaints and comments can provoke a quarrel. There is no need to sort things out, otherwise the hostility will only intensify.
How to Talk to a Married Gentleman
In such communication, subordination should be observed. Light flirting, hints and ambiguous jokes are a bad position. In this case, the man will think that you are hoping to become his mistress.
How to have a dialogue about children
There is one rather old joke about how to spot a real bachelor: tell him that you love him very much and want a child from him. But girls should understand that after meeting, it is not advisable to discuss with him what they will name the baby. Otherwise it can be intimidating.
It’s difficult even for experienced dating people to have a conversation about this. We come from afar, but better yet, show by actions that you are ready for offspring.
Keeping the conversation going
