How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence - 30 proven methods and self-esteem tests

Hello! In this article we will talk about how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence!

Each person is individual. It consists of a large number of advantages and disadvantages. But all people treat themselves differently. It's all about self-esteem. For most people, it is very low, and this becomes the main cause of many problems. Let's look together at what the concept of “self-esteem” means, why it can be low, what this problem can lead to, and how to increase self-confidence.

Content

• What is self-esteem? Her levels
• Self-esteem tests
• Self-esteem test No. 1
• Self-esteem test No. 2
• Self-Esteem Functions
• Why low self-esteem needs to be corrected
• Causes of low self-esteem
• Signs of low self-esteem
• Signs of high self-esteem
• Tips to help improve self-esteem
• Learn to set achievable and realistic goals
• Give up criticism
• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Learn to accept praise
• Don't make excuses
• Learn to ask for help
• Communicate more often with loved ones and people who love you
• Get your things done
• Learn to love your body
• Exercise and live a healthy lifestyle
• Watch your appearance
• Get rid of bad habits
• Communicate with optimists and successful people
• Attend psychologists and trainings
• Listen to affirmations
• Learn to get out of your “comfort zone”
• Read positive literature
• Find your dream job
• Learn to give yourself to others
• Live by your wishes
• Don't be jealous
• Don't impose yourself, don't be a hypocrite, and don't be false.
• Throw away your laziness
• Take action!
• Techniques and techniques for increasing self-esteem
• Make a list of your positive qualities
• Keep a “Success Diary”
• Amulet
• Actor
• Speaker
• Clown
• Conclusion

Trainings

Good results can be achieved if you sign up for psychological training “How to increase self-esteem” (variant names are allowed), which are organized by specialized specialists. They can be group or individual. As practice shows, if the situation is not advanced, the first option is preferable.

They usually last 1-2 hours and involve performing exercises in a playful way. For example, a psychologist can offer in a circle to all participants (usually there are 6-10 people):

• define your mood in one word (color);
• talk about your positive qualities (who has more);
• advertise yourself using various means (who is better);
• find 5-10 positive qualities in the person sitting opposite you (not just invented ones, but real ones);
• play “I am the king”: each participant becomes a ruler for 5 minutes, makes decisions, makes laws, and the rest obey and worship him. Next, it is determined who coped with the role better.

This is only a small part of the techniques that psychologists use in group trainings. Usually a course of 4-5 such classes is enough to ensure your own importance.

During individual training, a psychologist may offer to take a test, perform some situational tasks followed by analysis of the answers, or exercises.

What is self-esteem? Her levels

There are several definitions for this concept, but the simplest and easiest to understand is the following.

Self-esteem is a person's attitude towards himself. It can be overestimated, normal and underestimated.

People who extol their skills, human qualities, talents, physical capabilities, etc. suffer from high self-esteem. Most often, these are “narcissists” who do not have outstanding capabilities. They simply cannot adequately evaluate themselves, so they consider themselves better than others.

Adequate self-esteem is found in people who realistically assess their strengths and skills. They understand that in addition to their advantages, they also have disadvantages. But they do not focus on failures, but confidently go through life, achieving their goals.

Low self-esteem is not uncommon in modern society. People with such self-esteem cannot adequately assess all their abilities and consider themselves worse than others, constantly creating complexes and fears for themselves. These are pessimists who do not believe in their abilities, constantly complain about life and do not know how to overcome self-doubt.

Of these three categories, people with low self-esteem are the most common. It is this level of self-esteem that is dangerous for a person’s mental, physical and moral state.

Tell yourself only good things

Eternal dissatisfaction with oneself does not contribute to the growth of self-esteem. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is to love yourself and praise yourself more often for your successes, even if they are not too significant. When you wake up, tell yourself that life is getting better day by day, remember how beautiful, smart and capable you are. Stop comparing yourself to others: psychologists say that it is more correct to compare yourself today with yourself yesterday.

“Avoid those who try to undermine your self-confidence. A great man, on the contrary, inspires the feeling that you can become great,” Mark Twain.

Self-esteem tests

In order to find out what level your self-esteem is, we suggest taking several simple tests.

Self-esteem test No. 1

Try to quickly answer the following questions without thinking. Answer only “Yes” or “No”. Then count the total number of positive and negative answers.

1. Do you often scold yourself for mistakes you have made?
2. Do you gossip with your friends by talking about others?
3. Do you lack clear goals and plans for your life?
4. Do you not go to the gym and neglect physical activity?
5. Do you often worry about trifles?
6. When you find yourself in an unfamiliar company, do you try not to stand out and be invisible?
7. When you meet a person of the opposite sex, do you know how to carry on a conversation?
8. Is criticism towards you causing depression?
9. Do you envy the success of others?
10. Are you hurt by careless words spoken to you?

Test result:

If you answered “Yes” 1 to 3 times, then you have normal self-esteem.

If you answered “Yes” more than 3 times, this indicates that you are a person with low self-esteem.

Self-esteem test No. 2

When answering each question, count the number of points earned. After passing the test, add up all the numbers obtained and compare them with the results.

1. Do you often think and reproach yourself for certain actions or statements?

Often – 1 point;

Sometimes – 3 points.

1. How do you behave when interacting with witty people?

Trying to outdo them in wit – 5 points;

Try to stop communication as quickly as possible – 1 point;

1. Which statement do you prefer?

“Luck is the result of the actions and labors of every person” – 5 points;

“Luck is unpredictable” – 1 point;

“A person should rely only on himself, and not on the gifts of fate” – 3 points.

1. If you were given a cartoon as a gift, what should you do?

You will be delighted with the gift – 3 points;

Be offended – 1 point;

Take this idea and give a friend a similar surprise – 4 points;

1. Are you short of time?

Yes – 1 point;

No – 5 points;

I don’t know – 3 points.

1. When choosing perfumes as a gift you:

Choose the scent to your liking – 5 points;

Choose a flavor based on the taste of the hero of the occasion – 3 points;

Read also:  What is creative crisis and its causes. How to get out of a creative crisis

Give preference to the advertised product – 1 point.

1. Have you imagined yourself in the role of another person?

Yes – 1 point;

No – 5 points;

I don’t know – 3 points.

Test results:

If you score 10-23 points, then you have low self-esteem. You often express dissatisfaction with yourself. You should think about how to improve your self-esteem.

A result of 24-37 points indicates that you are a harmonious person. You know how to praise yourself and treat all your mistakes adequately.

If you score 38-50, it means that you are a confident person, but sometimes you are self-critical.

If, after passing the tests, you want to learn how to love yourself and increase your self-esteem, you need to comprehensively study your psyche.

Movies

When you watch TV shows about a beautiful life, they plunge you into an even greater abyss of your own complexes. There is a constant comparison of oneself with on-screen characters in favor of the latter. It lowers rather than increases self-esteem. Therefore, while working on yourself, exclude them from your pastime. They have a worthy replacement. Firstly, various trainings, master classes and video trainings in the form of documentaries. Secondly, masterpieces of artistic cinema that motivate rather than destroy self-awareness.

Documentary:

1. Brian Tracy. Self-esteem. Psychology of success.
2. Depression and self-esteem. Jacque Fresco. Venus Project.
3. How to increase self-esteem? 10 proven methods.
4. Psychology of Personality. Low self-esteem. How to improve low self-esteem.
5. Self-confidence is the key to victory!

Artistic:

1. The Pursuit of Happyness.
2. Always say yes".
3. Peaceful warrior.
4. Never give up.
5. The man who changed everything.

Self-Esteem Functions

At first glance, self-esteem is a fairly simple concept that does not imply any difficulties. In fact, self-esteem is the starting point in personality formation. It has a number of functions:

• Protective . A morally stable person who is confident in his strengths and abilities is absolutely not interested in what others think about him. High self-esteem allows you to be stable and independent from the opinions of other people;
• Regulatory . A person with a normal level of self-esteem independently makes personal decisions. He understands that his life depends only on his decisions and actions;
• Developmental . A self-sufficient person is interested in his further development. He thirsts for new knowledge and is constantly improving.

Choose the “right” friends

The influence of the environment on a person is great. Remember the saying “whoever you mess with, you’ll get rich from”? If you are not too confident in yourself, it is unlikely that you will benefit from communicating with a person who is dissatisfied with everyone and everything, constantly grumbles about the imperfections of the world, and even looks out for shortcomings in others. Communicating and making friends better with positive-minded and confident people is good for your health! Such people are not inclined to judge others; they literally “infect” everyone with cheerfulness, love for others and an optimistic mood!

Why low self-esteem needs to be corrected

Perhaps people who have similar problems will not agree that something needs to be changed in life. Of course, it’s easier to sit, do nothing, suffer and blame everyone for the failures in your life.

But people with low self-esteem and self-doubt rarely achieve what they want in life, occupy lower positions, and have a minimum salary. Maybe they dream of creating their own business, earning several times more, and being self-sufficient.

But for this you need to make important decisions, be confident in yourself, have a goal and try to achieve it. An insecure person will never become a leader, and the business he creates is practically doomed to bankruptcy.

If you want to become a happy and financially independent person, then you urgently need to correct your psycho-emotional state and learn more about how to love yourself.

Avoid Intrusions

Stop communicating with people who unceremoniously invade your life, impose their own opinions on you, their vision of solving problems, and even more so, instill in you a feeling of guilt. Protect your personal space and build your own life according to your own scenario. After all, this is your life, no one but you can live it.

“We can't interfere. For people to believe in us, we must believe in people,” Zeus, from the movie “War of the Gods: Immortals.”

Causes of low self-esteem

Our attitude towards ourselves is formed in early childhood. Parents play an important role in this.

If the child is constantly reproached, scolded, told that he is bad, and, for example, Petya is good, then the child feels that he is worse than others. It seems to parents that they are raising their child in this way, but in fact they are crippling his psyche and making him a failure in life.

In addition to parents, the child’s environment leaves its mark on a child’s self-esteem. If a child in kindergarten or school is offended by his peers, he closes down, withdraws into himself and begins to hate everything around him.

Also, the cause of a bad attitude towards oneself can be physical inferiority or developmental defects. For example, if a child wears glasses, he is more likely to be teased by other children. In this case, parents must compensate for this deficiency.

For example, if the child is fat, then you can send him to the wrestling sports section. There he will develop physically, acquire self-defense skills and be able to prove in practice that he is not weak and can stand up for himself.

The formation of self-esteem is influenced by many factors. Also, the reasons for low self-esteem may be:

• Improper upbringing;
• Constant failures at an early age;
• Wrong goal setting;
• Unhealthy environment, etc.

Appreciate yourself

In order to implement this advice, psychologists recommend an excellent exercise. You should take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. In one part, note all your positive qualities, in the other – negative ones, plus what you would like to change in yourself. The second part of the list should be taken into account, and the first part should be read aloud regularly. They say low self-esteem goes away!

"Hooray! Someone somewhere said that I am better than someone else!” - Marge Simpson.

Signs of low self-esteem

A person who lacks self-confidence is very easy to spot. Psychology experts identify several signs of low self-esteem. Such an individual:

• Constantly criticizes himself and expresses dissatisfaction with himself;
• Listens to the opinions and criticism of others, which is why he suffers greatly;
• There is indecision in actions, fear of doing something wrong and making a mistake;
• Unbridled jealousy;
• Feels envious of other people's achievements and successes;
• Tries to please everyone;
• He is hostile towards all the people around him;
• Does not defend his point of view, constantly takes a defensive position and makes excuses;
• Has a pessimistic attitude and perceives reality negatively.

An individual with low self-esteem is constantly looking for problems, blaming everyone and does not know how to enjoy life. This attitude towards oneself can lead to serious mental illness and prolonged depression.

If you have at least three of the above signs, then you should think about how to believe in yourself.

Conclusion

The above tips will help you achieve results only if you do not limit yourself to just reading them. To achieve your own success you need:

• look confident in any situation;
• get up earlier and start the day with an important task;
• not giving in to the expectations of others;
• visualize success;
• exercise;
• don't dwell on mistakes;
• celebrate achievements and strengths;
• respond correctly to praise;
• make plans for tomorrow in advance;
• communicate more often with others;
• be able to give a part of yourself;
• relax and deal with stress;
• remember that you deserve more.

Signs of high self-esteem

People with high or normal self-esteem are more successful, cheerful and optimistic. A person who adequately evaluates himself has the following characteristics:

• Accepts his external and physical appearance as he really is;
• Confident in yourself and your abilities;
• He is not afraid to make mistakes, and perceives any troubles as an important lesson;
• Reacts adequately to criticism and praise;
• Finds a common language with people. Knows how to behave in society;
• Understands that everyone has their own opinion, respects everyone’s choice, but defends his own point of view;
• Controls your physical and emotional state;
• Constantly improving and developing;
• Achieves set goals.

Without believing in yourself, it is impossible to live a full life, enjoy every day and be a successful person. If you set certain goals for yourself and want to change any aspect of your life, then you will have to change your attitude towards yourself.

Exercises

It turns out that there are complexes of not only physical exercises for sports, but also psychological ones to increase self-esteem. By performing them regularly, you can feel the first results within a week. Here are some of them.

Exercise 1. I'm good

Write at least 10 of your positive qualities. Re-read them daily. After a week, create a new list, trying not to repeat what was in the previous one.

Exercise 2. I was able to

Write down 5 achievements you have achieved in life. This does not have to be a victory in the Olympics or a beauty contest. Simpler things are enough: found a job, graduated from college. Re-read them daily and learn to be proud of them. After a month, try creating a new list. It should contain other items.

Exercise 3. I am strong

Write down the 3 most difficult situations in your life. Don't describe them in detail, just identify them. For example, the death of a grandmother, dismissal from work, divorce. Remember how you were able to survive this period. Even if you felt bad, now it’s all behind you, which means you have that inner strength that can increase your self-esteem. Every day, replay in your head how you overcame difficulties and be proud of yourself.

Exercise 4. I am a hero

Write 5 cases from your life when you helped others: you were with your friend when her husband left her; prepared a classmate for a diploma at a university; We regularly bought groceries for our old neighbor, who couldn’t do it herself. Re-read the list every day and be proud of yourself. Update it after a month.

Exercise 5. I am no worse than others

To increase self-esteem, you need to learn to be friends with the mirror. This is one of the most difficult exercises for insecure and shy people. We need to overcome internal complexes and master this technique.

Get yourself in order. Stand or sit in front of a mirror. Smile at your reflection. Then you can choose to act: read a poem, sing a song, or just talk to yourself. The goal is to get used to it, look at yourself from the outside, learn to perceive your image objectively, and understand that you are no worse than others. Start with 5 minutes and increase this time every week.

Complexes of psychological exercises can be different. The main thing is the regularity and correctness of their implementation.

Tips to help improve self-esteem

It is possible and necessary to raise self-esteem. Your future depends on it. If you still doubt this, then you should know that most suicides are carried out by people with low self-esteem. Therefore, do not be lazy, study all the ways to increase self-esteem and start working on yourself.

Learn to set achievable and realistic goals

People who don't believe in themselves most often set unattainable goals. And they throw up their hands and say: “I knew that nothing would work out for me.” You must try to look at things realistically and set realistic goals for yourself.

For example, you want to become a famous fashion designer, but you don’t know how to sew or draw. In this case, it is necessary to break one big dream into several small ones and gradually implement them. Sign up for cutting and sewing courses, and when you finish them, take a drawing course. With minimal knowledge, it will be easier for you to succeed.

Give up criticism

Stop constantly criticizing yourself and listen less to the criticism of others. Do not ask people for their opinion about your actions, the work you have done, etc. If someone decides to express their opinion about you, it is better to politely ask not to do this.

Try to eradicate your dependence on public opinion.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Each person is individual and unique. Some people write poetry but can’t draw, and artists aren’t good at math. Don’t blame yourself for doing something worse than others and stop constantly comparing yourself.

Realize that you are a unique individual with your own set of talents.

Learn to accept praise

Insecure people do not believe that they can do anything good. Therefore, praise can be perceived as mockery or ridicule. Never say that your work is nothing. When you are praised, do not lower your eyes, hold your gaze and simply say “Thank you.”

Don't make excuses

Never make excuses or blame yourself for what happened. What's done is already done. If, for example, some action has negative consequences, it is better to learn a lesson from this and not make similar mistakes in the future.

Learn to ask for help

Many people are afraid and do not dare to ask colleagues, friends or acquaintances for help. They think that their ignorance or inability to do something can cause ridicule and bullying. In fact, no one can know and be able to do everything in the world. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help.

Communicate more often with loved ones and people who love you

In case of failures or any troubles, do not keep everything to yourself. Communicate with your relatives more often, because they, more than anyone else, believe in you, approve of most of your actions and always support you.

If you feel blue, don’t withdraw into yourself, just call your parents, and they will find the right words to support you.

Get your things done

Be responsible in every endeavor. Bring everything to completion, even small things. Do not put them off “for later”, because... most likely they will remain unfulfilled.

Learn to love your body

Every person has both advantages and disadvantages. Learn to hide flaws and highlight strengths. For example, if it is necessary to increase the self-esteem and self-confidence of a woman with broad shoulders, it is enough to choose the right cut of clothes and others will not notice this flaw. At the same time, you need to draw the attention of others to your strengths, for example, beautiful legs. Don't focus on negative qualities, rather learn to love yourself for the huge number of advantages.

Exercise and live a healthy lifestyle

Everyone knows that in a healthy body there is a healthy mind. People who care about their health very rarely have low self-esteem. This is due at least to the fact that during sports the joy hormone is produced, you feel satisfied and at ease.

By leading an active lifestyle and eating right, you correct your figure, begin to like yourself, and this helps you love yourself and increase your self-esteem.

Watch your appearance

If a person does not take care of his hairstyle, manicure, condition of clothes, etc., then everyone, and he in particular, feels disgusted with the created image. The sight of a sloppy person is repulsive.

But if you go to the hairdresser, put on ironed clothes and use good perfume, then your shoulders will straighten on their own and you will feel a new confidence.

Get rid of bad habits

Insecure people often relieve stress with cigarettes and alcohol. Under the influence of alcohol, problems seem not so big, and life is easier. But when the morning comes, you realize that the difficulties have not disappeared and they must be overcome.

Don't waste your time on smoking breaks and constant drinking. This is how you ruin your body and put off solving problems. When you give up at least one bad habit, you will definitely gain faith in yourself.

Communicate with optimists and successful people

The circle of people with whom we communicate leaves a big imprint on our psyche and habits. We adopt each other's habits, thereby trying to imitate someone.

If you are surrounded by people who are constantly dissatisfied with everything and have a pessimistic attitude, then sooner or later you will become depressed.

Avoid the company of whiners and try to communicate with cheerful people who will charge you with positivity, instill confidence in yourself and push you to achieve new goals.

Attend psychologists and trainings

If you are sure that you cannot cope with the problem of low self-esteem on your own, then you can seek the advice of a psychologist. A specialist will teach you to love yourself.

In parallel with this, you can attend several trainings aimed at increasing self-esteem. It will be at least interesting and at most useful.

Listen to affirmations

Remember the movie “The Most Charming and Attractive”. There, the main character, standing in front of the mirror, repeated words about how beautiful she is and how much men like her. Thus, she increased her self-esteem by constantly repeating affirmations.

An affirmation is a short text that people repeat or listen to to increase their self-esteem.

Try this too. For example, learn the phrase “I am a successful person. I will achieve all my goals” and repeat it constantly. You can also record it on digital media (flash drive, disk, etc.) and listen to it constantly.

After a while, you will forget what low self-esteem is.

Learn to get out of your “comfort zone”

People who lack self-confidence try to be invisible. It is very difficult for them to carry out new work, assignments, or simply meet unknown people.

If you plan to become a successful person and open your own business from scratch, then start doing things that are unusual for you. Take on tasks that you previously avoided. For example, if you are planning a New Year's corporate party, and no one agrees to play the role of Santa Claus, propose your candidacy. This way, you will get rid of the fear of public speaking and get out of your “comfort zone”.

Read positive literature

Give preference to books with a good ending. After reading another fairy-tale novel, you will believe that sometimes this happens in life.

Find your dream job

Every person has a favorite activity. But more often, citizens of our country choose a profession not according to the call of their hearts, but according to the size of their salary. Therefore, the work performed does not bring the necessary satisfaction, and this can cause low self-esteem.

In order to increase a man’s self-confidence, it is necessary to change his profession, and if this is not possible, then you can try to pay maximum attention to some hobby. Doing what you love gives you faith, because it’s nice to do what you do well.

Learn to give yourself to others

If possible, be sure to help your friends, relatives and little-known people. If they ask for help, it means they believe that you can help. Perhaps their faith will boost your self-esteem.

Live by your wishes

Successful and confident people constantly want more and achieve it. Try it and you will constantly want something and do everything to achieve it. After your desires are achieved, you will realize that everything is working out for you and you can do anything you want.

Don't be jealous

Envy is not the best quality in a person. It forces us to compare ourselves with others. Never envy anyone, but be happy with what you have.

Don't impose yourself, don't be a hypocrite, and don't be false.

These three qualities prevent a person from having adequate self-esteem. If a colleague does not want to communicate closely with you, you should not impose yourself. Find a lot of benefits in this. Don't ingratiate yourself with people and make yourself inferior to someone else.

Throw away your laziness

When a person is lazy, he easily becomes depressed. Of course, we do not encourage you to work constantly. Just learn to distinguish laziness from rest.

If it’s hard for you to overcome idleness, then against your will, start doing the planned work, and the desire will come to you a little later.

Take action!

The longer you lie on the couch and dream about a bright future, the further it moves away from you. Start changing yourself and your worldview now. There is no need to wait for tomorrow, Monday or the beginning of a new month. Act now!

Get some exercise

Treat your body with gratitude and love, but at the same time remember to improve yourself. Any physical exercise greatly elevates a person in his own eyes. Take up jogging, sign up for swimming or the gym, do morning exercises, or, at worst, get into the habit of walking a couple of stops. As you know, in a healthy body there is a healthy mind.

“If the television and refrigerator were not in separate rooms, some of us would die from lack of exercise,” Stephen Patrick Morrissey.

Techniques and techniques for increasing self-esteem

Psychologists advise using the following exercises for people with low self-esteem.

Make a list of your positive qualities

People with low self-esteem are not used to talking and thinking well about themselves. It is easier for them to find 100 flaws in themselves than several advantages. But every person has a lot of positive qualities.

In order to understand this, take a piece of paper and write down all your advantages. For example, you bake the most delicious pies, you can fix any household item, you have beautiful hair, long eyelashes, a thin waist, etc. During the day, add new advantages to the list, and then attach it to a visible place (for example, on the refrigerator) and review regularly.

Keep a “Success Diary”

This method is very similar to the previous one. Only now you will have to write down your successes and achievements every day in a designated notebook. For example, they gave alms to a needy person, helped a child solve a problem, prepared a very tasty dinner, helped his wife do her shopping, etc.

This method will help increase your level of self-esteem thanks to a visual list of achievements.

Amulet

People have a lot of fears. But everyone has to overcome them every day. If you can't do this, try finding an amulet for yourself. It can be any little thing (for example, a coin, a small toy, etc.). It is unlikely to have magical properties, but you must believe that the amulet will help you and protect you from troubles.

So, overcoming fear and self-doubt, you will achieve your goal, and any achievements have a beneficial effect on the human psyche.

Actor

Even if you don't feel happy, try to play the role of a cheerful and carefree person. Imagine that you are an actor who has been assigned an important role and you need to get into character. Very soon you will notice that you are no longer playing a role, but actually feel more successful and happy.

Speaker

This method is aimed at overcoming fears. If you are a shy student and don't like speaking in public, ask for an assignment that involves speaking in public. Offer your candidacy as the main character in a theatrical production, or take on writing a report that you will successfully read at an open seminar.

By leaving your “comfort zone,” you get rid of fears, thereby gaining confidence in your own abilities.

Clown

If you feel inferior, are sure that you look bad and try not to attract much attention, then this method is just for you.

Dress very brightly and tastelessly, like a clown. Apply provocative makeup, put on pants and a skirt, attach curlers or a winter hat to your head in the summer and go to the store. Don't pay attention to the surprised looks of passers-by. This is how you leave your “comfort zone”.

Once you reincarnate into your everyday look, you will definitely become confident/confident and increase your self-esteem.

Dependence on public opinion is a factor that destroys personality: we overcome self-doubt

Public opinion can ruin our lives if we give it too much importance.

Constructive criticism pointing out specific mistakes is useful and helps in development, but completely depending on the opinions of others is a big mistake.

Learn to value your own opinion and your own view of things, then the words of others will cease to be so important to you. If, when performing any actions, you think first of all about what people will say, how they will look at you, then you are unlikely to succeed in your endeavors.

Let public opinion depend on you, not you on it. Embody your own will and think less about the consequences.

How to become more self-confident - practical exercises

To develop self-confidence, I recommend doing the following 2 exercises:

1. "You're your own clown." Preparation: You dress ridiculously, for example, in curlers, a huge tie, funny clothes. Then go outside, go into stores, generally behave as if this is your everyday appearance. Naturally, you will feel discomfort in this form. But at the same time, your psychological threshold for critical perception of you by others will decrease;
2. "Speaker for Life" Try to speak publicly as often as possible. If at work your boss asks someone to prepare a presentation, organize an event, or go on a business trip with an important report, take the initiative and take on these functions yourself. If you have a fear of public speaking, then ways to overcome it have already been described in this article.

Both of these exercises involve getting out of your comfort zone. Our brain begins to think that this behavior is normal for us and these things no longer cause as much stress as before. Remember, the best way to get rid of fear is to do what you are afraid of!

Do what you love

Practice shows that most often the level of self-esteem directly depends on whether you are doing what you love or not. So, maybe, instead of getting bogged down in a job that makes you unhappy and doing it carelessly, you should choose a profession you like? Undoubtedly, in this case you will have a greater chance of achieving a good result, and this, in turn, will have the most beneficial effect on your state of mind.

And further. Once you decide to do something important, don’t put it off. If you want to start or change something in your life, start right now, “new life from Monday” is inaction. The longer you wait to start, the more insurmountable the possible difficulties will seem.

How is the self-concept formed?

In order to change the self-concept, increase self-esteem and self-confidence, you must first understand where this self-concept comes from.

You weren't born with it. Your self-concept is formed under the influence of your life experiences and various factors from your past. You have formed your self-concept based on the norms and requirements that exist in your environment. The foundations of personality are laid in the first 3-5 years of life.

How are children different from adults?

1) They do not know the feeling of fear;

2) They are completely liberated and do not push themselves into boundaries.

Where then do adults with complexes and dependent on other people’s opinions come from? It's their environment that makes them that way.

If a child is constantly encouraged and supported from a very early age, then in adulthood he is not afraid to act and make mistakes. If a child all the time heard only criticism and reproaches addressed to himself, and sometimes was subjected to punishment, then, as he gets older, he gradually closes down and begins to scold himself, considering himself unworthy, bad, not like everyone else.

Destructive criticism is one of the most dangerous lines of behavior. It reduces self-esteem, impoverishes a person’s own image, and undermines the effectiveness of the business in which a person is engaged.

Destructive criticism weakens a person's self-confidence, he begins to engage in self-deprecation, becomes tense and constantly makes mistakes in the very area in which he was criticized. He may completely refuse to repeat attempts and abandon this activity.

Before you criticize anyone, including yourself, remember these words.

Who and how influences your self-esteem:

Create your future

How would you like to live in five, ten, twenty years? Imagine a picture of your own happy future, think about how you can achieve this, draw up an action plan and strictly follow it. In a word, determine your life goal and persistently follow it: knowledgeable people say that the best way to predict the future is to create it!

“The future is something you create with your own hands. If you give up, you give in to fate. Believe in yourself and you can create the future you want." - Sailor Mercury.

Live with pleasure

They say that 98% of the population live by rules, and 2% create them. Agree: living among others, creating the rules yourself, is much more convenient! Allow yourself to live with pleasure: go to the hairdresser, update your wardrobe, treat yourself to your favorite dish, and finally, just do some general cleaning in the house - all these little things mean a lot to increase your self-esteem. Keep a success diary and regularly write down all your achievements there - this will help you look at life from a different perspective.

Also, give yourself permission to be imperfect. Firstly, all failures, problems and blows of fate are invaluable experience. Secondly, there are no ideal people, and you, like most people, do some things worse than others, but you also do some things better! Forgive yourself for your mistakes and failures, learn your lessons and start all over again. A winner differs from a chronic loser in his attitude towards failure.

Benefit people

Nothing convinces a person of his need more than helping others. Take part in a charity event, make a bird feeder, help carry a bag to an old lady. Practice shows that by helping those who need this help, by giving a piece of ourselves to others, we seem to rise in our own eyes. At the same time, do not shout at all corners about your need and try not to excessively demonstrate your importance. True self-confidence does not require loud outward displays. The level of self-esteem is an indicator of how you yourself evaluate your own efforts made to achieve a goal, and those around you have nothing to do with it.