How to find yourself in life - answers for those looking for yourself

Author: Elmira Davydova

A lot of people suffer at their jobs and do things that are unnatural for themselves. I am a career guidance specialist, helping children and adults choose a profession for more than 15 years. I have some valuable tips for you on how to find yourself if you are asking these questions:

What is my calling?
What modern professions are right for me?
What are my strengths, and how can I apply them in my profession?
What are my hidden abilities?
Where can I get the strength to move forward?
How to accurately choose a profession for yourself for many years?

Let's start answering these questions by figuring out what you want.

We need to start with your desires

Because desires are a personal powerhouse. It charges your actions. If you move through life based on other people’s desires (mom’s, dad’s), you are doomed to be lethargic and uninterested. Don't expect success. Desires are a spark. The tank is full of gas, but there is no spark - the car does not move.

What if you have abilities, but no desires?

Then you forcefully do what you don’t like to do, but not for long. Because the energy is running out. Desires are a powerful source of energy; they generate ideas in your soul. And the question is resolved by itself: how to become yourself and how to find yourself in life.

Analysis of the situation

The first step in order to make a meaningful choice and find yourself is to know yourself. It is difficult to describe and ignore the state when a person does not know who he really is. But no matter how difficult this search may be, it is worth it. Knowing your own essence is an edifying experience that can help you become a self-sufficient person. A few questions to start the process of getting to know yourself:

What surrounds a person now?
Does he have self-pity and demands for pity from others?
Does he have dreams?
And are there fears that prevent you from moving forward? We are talking specifically about those fears that a person sincerely wants to get rid of, and not those that provide a comfortable life.
Is he an optimist or a pessimist?
Personal qualities that contribute to moving forward?
Properties that interfere with achieving goals and success?
What kind of people are in a person’s close circle and are there those among them who hinder personal growth?
Reasons for not realizing your dreams? Were they real?
How did a person come to the current state?

It is very important to talk to yourself openly and honestly. It is recommended to write down the answers in a gadget or on a piece of paper.

What desires are we talking about?

Let's say you want to be rich and famous. Great. What to do to become rich and famous? One went into business for this, another became a math tutor, another is an athlete, someone is a great hairdresser, and someone makes films... What do they have in common?

They all have their own subject of work. They want (have the desire) to work with their subject.

We at ProfGuide have developed a test - choosing a profession based on interest in objects. Try going through it several times. You will figure out which items would be most interesting for you to deal with. Attention: think about what you would like to DO with these objects: not look at these objects, but do something with them. You will receive professions related to the selected objects.

What prevents us from finding our “I”

You need to go into a new life lightly, so that nothing pulls you back or brings you to the ground. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is get rid of unnecessary baggage. Get ready to cleanse your soul of the trash that has accumulated over the years of living a life that was not yours.

Remember what you need to get rid of first.

Regrets about the past

Let's agree to consider today as the starting point of your new life, and leave the past behind. What happened cannot be changed, no matter how much you sprinkle ashes on your head. Regrets will only waste time and energy, preventing you from moving forward.

Blaming yourself and others

If you think that you did something wrong, missed opportunities, did not take advantage of the chances given by fate, forgive yourself for this. Take this heavy burden off your shoulders and take a deep breath. None of us are perfect, and there is no point in beating yourself up about it.

Blaming circumstances and other people for your failures is also counterproductive. In this way, we literally acknowledge our own powerlessness. In addition, the most dear and close people - parents, relatives, friends - are most often in the dock. Stop the investigation and stop looking for someone to blame. Case is closed.

Stereotypes

Stereotypes are the main reason why people do not live their lives. If you follow them blindly, drowning out the voice of your Self, sooner or later you will find yourself in a dead end. Or in a hole - depending on your luck. If you hear one of the following phrases, you know that you are dealing with a stereotype. Don't let him ruin your plans and dreams.

“You can’t make a living by dancing (music, drawing).”
“It’s all not serious.”
“After 30 years it is impossible to change profession.”
“You can’t get big money honestly.”
“It’s too late to do this, we should have started in childhood.”
“You can’t get anywhere without connections.”

What does any profession consist of?

Since you need to find yourself, look at the matter practically. A profession is always a combination of OBJECT-ACTION-INSTRUMENT. This connection is the seed of the profession. But a profession also has a shell: how far is your work from your home, what kind of team does your work have, what is the character of your boss, etc. The salary is also not included in the grain, but in the shell. Grain is what to do, with what and how. And money is a consequence of labor.

For example, for a hairdresser, the subject of labor is human hair, and the action is cutting, coloring, etc. The tools of labor are scissors, a comb, paints, etc.

Ask yourself: do I want to work with a person’s hair every day (precisely every day, except weekends), talk to a person, work with my hands, using tools. By the way, in 2022, the ProfGid career guidance center developed an accurate career guidance test. He himself will tell you which professions are suitable for you, and give an opinion about your personality type and intelligence.

About finding yourself

Every day, children, teenagers and even adults and older people tell themselves and others “I want to find myself in life.” Self-confidence and success are also often not a guarantee that a person will not have problems finding himself. According to psychology, such conditions are typical for people with periodic repetition from the first grades to old age. This is one of those things that should be taught in schools.

From a philosophical point of view, it is understanding oneself and searching for a unique place. Psychologists believe that if such a problem takes a long time, this may indicate depression. Therefore, it is recommended to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist or leave everything and just enjoy what you have if the search turns into an obsession and no longer brings pleasure. Sometimes such moods are explained as fatigue and, accordingly, the need for rest. It happens that a person has long found himself, but due to fatigue and stress he doubts it and needs to reboot.

Those who are looking for themselves value not only the result, but also the process itself and the efforts made. There is no magic recipe and, on the one hand, this is good, because this is what makes the search interesting, memorable and fun. On the other hand, universal instructions would make a difficult task easier. Among the main ways to determine your place in life are introspection and analysis, advice from psychologists and exercises, consultations, master classes and trainings, as well as spiritual practices, meditation and motivation. Some people choose to combine several methods, thereby simplifying their lives.

A simple way to FIND YOURSELF AND UNDERSTAND what to do in life

How can you find your favorite item?

You will be surprised, but the list of these items is not so long. Again, look at the test. Or come to my live career guidance for schoolchildren and adults to learn new important things about yourself, which modern professions are suitable for you and which are not and why, what to do next step by step and thus find yourself and start working with pleasure. I work in an object-oriented career guidance (this is my own method, based on the work of E.A. Klimov, professor at the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University).

Useful materials for those who want to find themselves in this world and never lose

As promised, I recommend some of the coolest courses from Wikium.

Profession

Description . A very interesting course. It is interesting because it suits almost any person. The point is this: you register for training, indicate your profession in a special form (which you have now or plan to get in the future), and the system selects the most valuable qualities for you that are necessary for success and helps you develop them.

For example, for technical specialties it is very important to be able to think, work with formulas, and do mental math. For those who want to learn languages, a good memory and the ability to work with words and text are important. Designers need different types of imagination, managers need communication skills, and so on.

To develop each quality, you will study specific theoretical material and perform unique exercises. In addition, it will be possible to take classes on simulators, which are available on the project around the clock and completely free of charge.

Authors : developers of the Vikium project.

Cost : 2,290 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Goal setting

Description . Maybe you still haven’t found yourself because you don’t know how to set goals correctly and prioritize in your life? You either set an exorbitant goal and after a few days you realize that it is unattainable, or you set too small goals and quickly lose motivation for them.

A goal setting course will help you solve this problem. When you complete the training, you will consciously set goals and plan to achieve them for the short and long term.

Believe me, mastering something new, reaching new heights, realizing yourself in something is not at all as difficult as it seems. You just need to divide the long path into segments and start walking.

There are only six lessons here, you will learn them very quickly.

Authors : developers of the Vikium project.

Cost : 990 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Mentalist

Description . A mentalist is a comprehensively developed and intelligent person who can solve a variety of problems. If you can’t find yourself in life, try to start developing in general, create a solid foundation for your prosperity, and then decide which direction to focus on.

If you can’t count in your head, you can’t work with large amounts of information, the thought of higher education or advanced training courses gives you terrible fear - this program is for you. It will teach you to think, concentrate, easily acquire the most varied knowledge and retain it in memory for a long time.

Separate blocks of the course are devoted to emotional intelligence, the ability to communicate with people, predict their psychological reactions, and so on.

Authors : developers of the Vikium project.

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Development of attention

Description . This program will teach you to easily concentrate even on the most difficult work. It doesn’t just help you decide on a choice of area of activity, it lays a solid foundation that will make many areas of self-realization “accessible” to you. Attention is needed absolutely everywhere.

There are 15 lessons and daily practical exercises. You will hone your skills on 11 simulators.

Do you often try to choose a direction in life for yourself, start learning something new, and then abruptly give up because you think: “This is not for me,” “I don’t have enough knowledge,” “Too abstruse”? Maybe you just need to improve your general ability to work with information, concentrate and think?

Authors : developers of the Vikium project.

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

If you can recommend other courses or good books on self-development, please write about it in the comments to the article. If you know courses that you definitely shouldn’t take, write about that too. I would be grateful for your feedback.

Serve what?

Finding yourself in life also means finding what you will serve.

For example, you want to serve science. Very good. But in what way?

You can be not only a scientist, but also a science journalist, science popularizer, translator, manager, etc.

This is please... But even here the task is to find your subject. The manager has one, the translator has another, the researcher has a third. And you must reveal yours.

To do this, you need to listen to yourself very much, take a closer look.

Observe yourself from the outside, like another person: listen to yourself, what you say and how, with whom you feel good, are you a goat on a rope, where do your feet go in the bookstore? There is no need to immediately draw conclusions, but listen to the subtle melodies in your soul. And then you will understand how to become yourself and find yourself.

Preface

Probably, like many, I did not immediately find a use for myself in this world.
And in my case, it took a lot of time to find myself, and the people around me made a great contribution to this, for which I am eternally grateful to them. I believe I now have the feeling that I have found what I was looking for. Along with this, there are people in my social circle for whom this issue is still relevant. And, since I used to be fond of writing articles, I decided that my story and conclusions might be useful to someone.

Right away, of course, I want to make a reservation that everything described below is not fully history, but it is not a universal guide either. These are generalizations from the path that I took from a military university to psychology, marketing, and eventually came to the IT field.

A person’s vocation as one of the elements of understanding oneself.

Since there is a division between would-be and destined, let’s first talk about vocation. In essence, these are the inclinations of a person, which are formed both due to genetic factors and upbringing, as well as our environment, etc. Understanding your own calling makes life easier. A person will be able to master an interesting profession earlier and then hone his skills until old age. The sooner we understand future specialization, the more prospects will open up to us. In search of a calling, it is more correct to say not “I’m looking for myself,” but “I want to understand my abilities.” There are a number of techniques to find your calling:

Try yourself in various activities;
Understand how you can be useful to society;
To live an active lifestyle;
Communicate with representatives of professions of interest;
Pass career guidance tests;
Put aside laziness, fears, self-doubt;
Ask your relatives and friends for opinions;
Try to expand your knowledge about existing professions.

Finding yourself is not always limited to finding a job. Many people are interested in the cause-and-effect relationships of more significant events in their lives.

Take the test: introvert or extrovert?

conclusions

If you have asked yourself a question about how to find yourself, and have not been able to find answers to it for a long time, do not despair. Just come back to yourself more often, try to isolate yourself from the world and hear your true desires and needs. If necessary, use any methods (remember your childhood, analyze your talents and strengths, turn to esotericism). The main thing is don’t stop, take action.

The path to yourself is sometimes not close, but it is the one that helps you fulfill your most cherished dreams and finally become truly happy.

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Why is it so difficult to find your calling?

We live in a time when information flows in an endless stream from all directions. Television, radio, Internet with tons of videos, posts, articles.

Successful people share their ideal lifestyle, bloggers tell how much they earn from what they love. Endless advertisements for courses, schools, master classes.

On the one hand, it’s wonderful, there is such a wide choice. But on the other hand, you can easily get lost in this. And it’s even more difficult to understand what exactly you want. What exactly is your calling?

With such a huge amount of information, opinions and standards are “imposed.” Many people start doing what other people have been successful at. They try to adapt to someone else's life, copying it.

But they still don’t get pleasure. Why?

Because we are all different, and one person may simply not be suited to what another does well. It is important to remember that we are all individuals and you need to listen to your heart and not to external sources.

Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life.
(c) Steve Jobs

But I am sure: absolutely each of you can understand what you want and fulfill your desire. The wish-fulfillment cheat sheet is hidden here >>

And right now, let's move on to a practice that will help you understand how to find your calling. After all, this is the very way to become happy and realize yourself 100%.

If you don’t have your own goal in life, then you have to work for someone who has it!
(c) Robert Anthony

Recommendations from psychologists and coaches

The best way to understand and find yourself in life is to listen to the advice of psychology experts and personal growth coaches. They offer 15 life hacks that will help you find your “I”:

Be active, do something and remember the words of Einstein: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To maintain balance, you need to keep moving.” You can choose the place where you want to go.
Get enough sleep. It is sleep, and not hard work, that is the basis of health, good mood, beauty, and productivity.
"No". Thanks to Jim Carrey, the movie “Always Say Yes” turned out to be very good, but you shouldn’t take it literally and be afraid to say “no” if something doesn’t suit you. There will always be someone who wants to take advantage of a person’s kindness, even among his friends or relatives. Everyone has the right to refuse.
Positive thinking. Belief in the best and a spirit of achievement.
Destroying stereotypes. Habitual patterns often only hinder development.
The road forward, despite the obstacles. The runway is often black, but if you start, it will definitely get better.
Leave or change. This is about where you don’t like something: an unloved job with imaginary stability or a familiar relationship that has long been deprived of its former satisfaction and joy. To remain in such conditions means to voluntarily subscribe to stress, illness, neuroses and betrayal of your dreams.
Rest.
Study and knowledge. Every day it is important to learn something new: from books, courses, self-study or articles.
Creation. The key to relief from overstrain, as well as the development of thinking, including creative thinking.
Love yourself and make yourself happy. This is not only not prohibited, but also necessary. Without this, it is unlikely that you will be able to meet those who will experience the same feelings and desires for a person.
Sample. No one is immune from mistakes, and there is no need for this, because mistakes are valuable experience and a stage for the next advancement.
Goals and planning. There should be a detailed plan for at least the most important projects and moments.
Constant new acquaintances. Connections will never be superfluous and sociable people move forward.
Close the door to the past and past mistakes.

It is equally important to be open to others. Likewise, psychologists advise getting inspired from all sorts of individual sources.

How to find yourself? 7 questions to help you understand yourself better || Larisa Parfentyeva

Why doesn't a person change his usual life?

Any activity should bring a person pleasure, a sense of self-realization, and positive emotions. A favorite activity can be work that brings material benefits, as well as non-profit activities - charity, social assistance, creativity.

Thus, a favorite activity is an activity that gives pleasure and does not make you want to quickly go home at the end of the working day. A person experiences a state of euphoria from the quantity and quality of work done, and he does not experience chronic fatigue.

So why doesn’t a person doing something he doesn’t like strive to change his life for the better?

The reasons for this are:

Stability . But this is imaginary self-confidence. A person may be fired from his job or laid off, the organization in which he works may go bankrupt, be liquidated, and in any case he will lose his job;
Fear of change . Yes, there is no complete certainty that everything will end well, but it will depend on the person’s mood, motivation and confidence;
Lack of support from loved ones . Here the question arises: do you need family and friends who don’t want to see you successful and happy;
Material instability . Often life changes, such as moving to another city, require financial security. If you decide to change your life, you need to prepare for this in advance and set aside amounts for starting capital every month.

In fact, all these problems are far-fetched. Each of them can be solved if you have the motivation.

How will life change when your purpose is found?

Every person has their own superpower. This is what works best. Superpower is an inner need of a person.

From the outside, many people may perceive your superpower as hard work, but you will be happy about it.

When you find your superpower, your purpose, you will be happy.

You will be able to do your work as efficiently and efficiently as possible and receive positive feedback from the world.

You can become a genius if you discover your superpower.

When it's not too late

Negative character traits - how to find and correct negative qualities

If your date of birth indicates that your age is approaching 30, 40 or even older, this is not a reason to give up. You can search for your purpose all your life, this is not bad, because this path involves self-development. Therefore, any age will be suitable for finding goals.

Interests change at different ages. What seemed like the ultimate dream at age 18 may turn out to be funny and absurd by age 30. A person becomes the chooser of his own destiny when he decides to make changes. In order to be true to your goal, psychologists advise:

remember the purpose of your actions;
remember how much has already been done;
Make important decisions when rested and well-slept.

How did you find yourself in life?

Let's get acquainted with the opinions of real people.

Feedback on the forum

There are many people and they all look at life very differently.

Why is it so important to find your calling?

We came into this world to be happy. Unfortunately, very often we forget about this. We work where we feel bad (often not only emotionally, but even physically), we do something that our soul is not at all passionate about, we curse the whole world because others have everything, but you don’t.

And the worst thing is that many people think that it cannot be any other way. This is how life turned out. After all, no one taught us how to find ourselves. We are like logs (forgive the comparison) floating along the river of life, waiting to be washed up on some shore. We completely submit to the situation and lose control over our lives. We humble ourselves...

But I agree with Joseph Murphy's words:

Remember, the Lord does not want you to live an unhappy life and suffer. On the contrary, He wants to see you happy, successful and rich, because the Almighty Himself is accompanied by success in all His endeavors, be it the creation of a new star or the Universe!
You came into this world to win and overcome all difficulties on the path to success and happiness, to fully develop your abilities and talents.

When you do things that bring you pleasure and happiness, the law of attraction allows you to attract more happiness into your life. When you hate your job with every fiber of your soul, you accordingly attract negativity, disappointment, pain, and lack of money into your life.

Mikhail Labkovsky writes in his book:

You will be truly happy when you do what you want. When you do what you desire and what brings you sincere happiness and joy.
And not because it SHOULD be so.

On the subject: How to recognize your desires by following Labkovsky’s 6 rules?

You are happier when you do what you are good at, what you do with ease and joy, from your heart. In other words, when you have found yourself and your purpose.

If you observe people who have found their calling, a business in which they feel comfortable and work with joy, then in other areas of their life everything begins to improve.

Money comes easily, relationships with people are great, and so on. All because they become happy, because they have found and realized themselves.

I am glad that you are interested in the question: how to find your calling. This means you have already taken the first right step towards changing your life.

Everything is in your hands, read this article further, and you will learn one of the secrets of how to find your purpose.

Interesting and useful exercises

Determining the correctness of your path is sometimes very simple, just pay attention to waking up in the morning. Those whose path is correct get out of bed energetically and with creative ideas. And accordingly, those who hate the alarm clock and get up with difficulty and in a bad mood need changes. There are several exercises that will help you find out what you really need to do:

Exercise 1. Ideal environment. Almost always, the environment that produces winners consists of them. The faith of others in a person greatly simplifies and supports faith in oneself. But many are unlucky; their environment is not conducive to the discovery of genius. The exercise asks you to imagine that upon waking up in the morning, a person discovered that the world had changed in accordance with his needs. Now he is surrounded only by those people whom he wants to see next to him. What will they be like? And what qualities characterize them? What has a person learned about himself and what does he need to reach his full potential?
Exercise 2. Bring back children's interest. There is one thing that separates a genius (which anyone can be) from ordinary people - this is standing up for the right to do what you love. As a rule, this can be traced back to childhood. It is necessary to answer the question of what a person liked to do in his early years, before the imposition of serious and profitable activities by adults.
Exercise 3. Ideal day. All you need is a piece of paper, a pen and imagination. It is recommended to live your ideal day in every detail: the place of action, the people around you, food, clothes, activities. No restrictions. It is important to imagine having absolute freedom, billions of rubles, skills and the powers of your dreams.
Exercise 4. 20 favorite activities. This list may contain banal things like eating delicious food and something more significant and global. After compiling the list, you need to carefully study it. There are probably patterns there and a certain type of activity predominates: sports, helping others, or something related to monotonous work.
Exercise 5. Five lives. That's how many of them there really are, just imagine it. And every life is an opportunity to become what you want. How will these chances be used? The number of lives can be changed to 3 or 7. Then choose the life that you like the most. But this is not necessary; you can also choose from each one what a person loves and needs, and then implement it all in reality.

Having completed the exercises , you need to make three lists and add all your fantasies to them . The first concerns things that are needed like air. The second includes what would be desirable, but not necessary. And the third is about things you can do without.

Human life is experiences, roles, relationships, stories, skills, earnings. Something from this list is imposed, chosen, is a compromise, or even an accident. Others are necessary or expensive. Those who want to find themselves in life, understand what is theirs and where their place is, must focus on themselves, find their favorite things and activities and act, move towards their destiny.

How to “FIND” AND UNDERSTAND yourself? ► 3 steps to creating a better you

When there is no interest

Despite the fact that effective methods have been described above that help a person understand himself, there are cases when nothing interests him in life. There are few reasons for this; in psychology they are divided into internal and external. The first are a consequence of the fact that a person has lost the opportunity to do what he loves. The latter say that a person stops enjoying what he already has. The cause of internal symptoms is more difficult to determine than external ones. All we know for sure is that an individual experiences interest when he produces the hormone of happiness. If this does not happen, interest in what is happening is lost.

Psychologists recommend several ways to combat loss of interest:

Think about what is missing in life and try to fill it.
Find yourself a hobby, to do this, learn more about various types of activities.
Change the environment for new experiences: communicating with new people, traveling.
Engage in active activities, sports.
Read more and follow proper nutrition.
Remember what aroused interest in childhood. Perhaps childhood memories will provide the key to action.

Calling in life is not synonymous with profession. In order for a person to feel the fullness of life and realize his purpose, it is important to understand his desires. As soon as you understand your calling, all actions take on meaning.