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The article explains:
- The structure of personal self-realization
- Self-realization goals at different ages
- Problems of self-realization
- 4 types of self-realization
- The first steps towards self-realization to achieve your goal
- 10 methods to achieve self-realization goals
- Signs of self-realization: how to understand that you have achieved your goal
Self-realization is a long, complex process.
Sometimes it can take a good half of your life. But this process is pleasant and brings very valuable and desired results. After all, the goal of our life is to realize ourselves, and it doesn’t matter how this will be expressed: in a dizzying career, creative growth, becoming an ideal parent - all this is part of one whole - a self-sufficient personality. Self-realization does not tolerate dispersion. Choose one goal and methodically follow it, developing the necessary skills, competencies, and abilities.
The structure of personal self-realization
Each person has his own priority direction in which his further life self-realization will occur. Some people are given the ability to express creativity as a talent, others have special skills in communicating with children, which makes them an ideal parent.
The most important thing is to have the freedom of self-realization, to get involved in it for real, and not at the insistence of third parties. In addition, there are special strategies, goals and mechanisms of personal self-realization, which I would like to talk about in a little more detail.
If we consider the self-realization of the individual in some aspects, then we can say that it is:
- activities that are inherent in each person;
- a special process of knowing yourself, in order to recognize and reveal your own abilities and talents;
- implementation of the most important personal qualities, the purpose of which is to achieve certain goals.
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Be that as it may, the process of self-development and self-improvement is the main component of self-realization as a whole. Don’t think that this process will go quickly and unnoticed. The path to self-realization is not easy, by no means easy, and success at one stage or another will help determine a set of structural indicators, for example:
- manifestation of initiative aimed at planning one’s own activities, its regulation, careful control and mandatory focus;
- signs of autonomous (independent) behavior, when you can make a competent, important decision, and are also able to independently regulate your interaction with other subjects;
- references to creativity that can help bring creativity into your work.
As already mentioned, the potential takes quite a long time to be realized, and therefore goals can change depending on the stage of life in the present.
What ways can you realize yourself?
There are 4 main ways to show your potential:
- Creation
- Personal development
- Professional growth
- Social interaction
Each of them must be present in a person’s life. How a person tries to express himself in them is influenced by his childhood and adult behavior patterns.
Self-realization goals at different ages
Personal self-realization is closely dependent on a person’s age, because over the course of our lives our priority goals can radically change:
In childhood, mental and moral potential is revealed, and therefore the emphasis is on the following priority goals:
- with the help of training, develop intelligence to the maximum and form character;
- get to know your strengths and weaknesses through communication with peers;
- Find yourself in creativity by testing all kinds of hobbies.
During adolescence, there is a need to find a potential partner for future life and, of course, to determine professional direction, and therefore the priority goals are now:
- learn the interaction with the inner “I” through deep reflection, as well as get rid of existing prejudices and stereotypes;
- develop mental abilities as much as possible;
- devote time to improving bodily and spiritual knowledge;
- get acquainted with the patterns in intimate relationships.
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In the mature period , a moment comes when a person establishes himself in the status of a professional, which is important, and a person, which is more important, and priority goals change:
- increasing one’s own competence in the chosen profession;
- emergence of authority among fellow professionals;
- achieving harmony in family or love relationships;
- acquisition of the desired, and desired, social status.
How to find yourself
To find yourself, you need to understand yourself, get to know yourself at a deep level.
If you look at yourself with a superficial glance, you will see in yourself only the programs of society (you dress as is customary in society, your behavior is based on educational programs and generally accepted rules of people, your words are based on the model of your environment, etc.). And even thoughts do not belong to a person. Thoughts are shaped by society, the media, acquaintances and relatives. The entire external form of a person is imposed programs from the outside. To find yourself, you need to immerse yourself in your inner world, feel your soul. Relax and immerse yourself in your inner world. What do you have there, what feelings, what desires? How do you feel about your soul?
An important point is that if you try to feel yourself in ordinary consciousness, then you will only see a set of programs embedded in yourself that you perceive as your own . But if you dive into your deepest feelings, completely different desires and feelings may appear there.
One of the most effective ways to enter your deep state is to do it through an altered state of consciousness. Or just relax as much as possible and enter a light alpha state. The easiest way to find yourself is this way.
In this state, remember your childhood. What desires did you have as a child? Most often, it is at this age that a person’s purpose in life and his talents manifest themselves. Capture children's feelings and dreams, remember them. Of course, remember the feelings and desires that you will have in an altered state of consciousness. These feelings are the real you. We can say that you found yourself in real feelings. Now let's move on.
Problems of self-realization
Most fears in the matter of activity and self-realization are justified by the fact that the problems of turning dreams into reality come from ourselves. We may have thousands of chances for self-realization and achieving something worthwhile, however, for people who find it difficult to decide, these chances will be seen as a yoke around the neck, and also cause apathy, depression, self-flagellation and other negative manifestations. All this will end in complete collapse and degradation.
It is not for nothing that many philosophers and scientists have written a lot of scientific works on issues of self-realization.
Aristotle expressed the opinion that achieving the highest, unconditional happiness is possible only through the implementation of talents, and it does not matter whether they are innate or developed.
Problems of self-realization
Abraham Maslow also devoted a lot of time to thoroughly studying all sorts of aspects of self-realization, and came to the conclusion that the human need for self-realization is at the top of the imaginary pyramid of all kinds of human needs.
It turns out that the primary requirement is to overcome physiological needs, ensure safety, carefully analyze social factors, find true friends and true love, and only then devote time to your own self-realization.
It is not surprising that statistics report only 4% of all people who managed to reach this peak
It is very important to use all your existing creative and professional potential - this will be the key to a happy life in harmony with yourself.
Difficulties that are psychologically oriented always appear on the path of self-knowledge; most often they appear due to a discrepancy between intellectual and energy potential, as well as the level of skills and the degree of realization of experience in the real world.
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Difficulties with personal self-realization go back to childhood, since any mistake can become fatal:
- At the stage of education, when parents allow their child to be overprotective, depriving him of the opportunity to act independently and learn from his own mistakes. Children grow up, adults appear who are absolutely incapable of setting clear goals and, of course, will not be able to develop a plan to achieve them.
Practical recommendations
- First of all, you need to competently and realistically assess your own talents and abilities. To do this, psychologists recommend taking a sheet of paper, creating a calm, relaxing environment and writing down the qualities and hobbies that need to be worked on.
- Honestly and impartially write down all your character traits, regardless of how much they are valued by society.
- List all the types of activities in which you would like to realize yourself. Think about your dreams, what you wanted to do as a child. As psychologists note, childhood dreams reflect a person’s true personality. Next to each activity, write down the necessary character traits that will help you achieve success. After all, only in activity does self-realization of the individual occur.
- Compare the lists and this way you will see which type of activity suits you best. At first glance, this method is only suitable for teenagers who have not decided on a profession. However, according to statistics, most adults are not satisfied with their work and would like to change their type of activity. Such dissatisfaction is dictated, first of all, by the inability to correctly identify one’s talents and set life priorities.
- Many people mistakenly believe that they can only realize themselves in professional activities. However, this is a general misconception. It is necessary to abstract from traditional views and evaluate yourself comprehensively. It is quite possible that a person will be able to express himself while on vacation or while doing his favorite hobby. The main thing is that the process is enjoyable - this is the main sign that the self-realization strategy has been chosen correctly and is successful.
Watch the video - an expert’s opinion on personal self-realization and finding a worthy goal in life.
What advice would you give to a young person to help them realize themselves?
I would tell him: your self-realization is a rocket with two engines. One depends on your abilities, talents, inclinations. The other works from motivation, from desire. Engines have different power and are not equally important. Mainly, what matters is the second engine – your aspirations and desires. Therefore, stop anxiously asking yourself: can you, do you have the ability to do anything. Better ask yourself if you want it. Listen to your deepest desires, that’s what matters most.”
Based on materials from //www.psychologies.ru/
Skin vector
The psyche of a person with a skin vector is designed in such a way that a person takes pleasure in limiting himself and others. This is his wish.
Every time he says “no” or “impossible,” he experiences a special surge of pleasure, one might say, he fulfills his dream, because he perfectly matches his nature. Such a person by nature knows how to limit himself and others. Limitation has a special root meaning - this is what once made human society the way we see it today.
Society is a system of laws, restrictions on the consumption of what “neighbors” have. People with the skin vector are legislators. If a person feels a desire to limit, then he can realize himself in the role of the creator of the law. The opportunity to realize his nature will lead him to fulfill his dreams and fill him with joy.
However, there are other facets of the implementation of the skin vector in society. In addition to the talent to say “no” and “you can’t” when necessary, the skin psyche has the gift of perceiving the surrounding reality through the prism of the concepts of “benefit - benefit”.
A unique flair for profitable deals, the ability to negotiate with everyone so that no one loses - “both ours and yours.” This is talent in doing business, in organizing profitable deals without damage to both parties. Ideal businessmen, traders and simply “business” people are a dream for any modern company!
The internal desire for economy is closely related to the limitation of the race from ancient times - from the primitive savannah, when the newly born human flock learned to survive. The talent to save is also inherent in a person with a skin vector. The process of obtaining food was extremely labor-intensive and there was always a risk that the next hunt would be unsuccessful. And the internal ability to save among people with a skin vector was in great demand; they were responsible for preserving food supplies and economically distributing them among all members of the flock.
Economically means so that it lasts “longer.” And today this talent has not gone away, but if it manifests itself in this way, i.e. connected with the desire to stretch something out longer, it simply loses its meaning. The desire to save is no longer relevant - society abounds in benefits. Just have time to consume!
So how to realize the ability to save in order to take place in society? Let us turn again to our primitive “friends”. Standing still, stretching out a “piece of a mined mammoth” and living from hand to mouth (but living!) is not an option. I want stability, confidence in the future and abundance of food. How to achieve this? Responsibility again falls on the person with the skin vector, driven by an internal desire for prey. Invent a stone axe! Well, of course! This also increases the efficiency of hunting. And then - a spear, bow and arrows. Now the flock is already producing much more “mammoth” (a dream come true), and the need to stretch a piece over several days naturally disappears. Now the talent for saving is being transformed into a talent for increasing production efficiency.
Today this is being implemented as rationalization of production and increasing its efficiency while reducing resource consumption. This is again savings for everyone. Leather workers are brilliant engineers and innovators. You just need to give free rein to your talent, realize it, and the return response from society in the form of success will not be long in coming.
Thus, we see that people with the skin vector can realize themselves in society in the following ways: how
- legislators (police, moderation, etc.);
- engineers (production innovators);
- businessmen (managers);
- sellers, etc.
There are a great many directions. Find yours, and it won’t be difficult to realize yourself with pleasure.
Is it absolutely necessary to actively act in order to achieve self-realization?
What does effort at self-realization mean? This is a kind of “life project” that requires consistency and perseverance. “I am defined by my project,” wrote Jean-Paul Sartre. To realize yourself, you need to want to achieve some goal in any area: in professional or leisure activities (for example, hobbies), in sports or artistic pursuits, in social life, in volunteering, in family life, in love. relationships. There are a lot of ways for personal realization! Some people strive to achieve something exceptional, extraordinary, majestic. They need great goals, a noble mission that they want to fulfill. They need noisy, brilliant success, fame, glory. Others, on the contrary, collect their harvest in the field of everyday life and feel very good. And it’s wonderful that this is so. They have one thing in common – action. Action is necessary for self-realization. As the writer Andre Malraux said, “we are the sum of our actions.” A life consisting only of a continuous series of moments of contemplation (“let everything go as it goes”) would be incomplete.
The first difficulty: realizing what we really want
Andre Gide said: “There are a thousand “I” inside me, and I cannot decide to be one.” The realization of all our possibilities encounters the first difficulty: realizing what we really want.
Yes it is. That's why, perhaps, you should allow yourself not to realize every single one of your possibilities. One of the most dangerous temptations of self-realization is the desire to do everything you can, to try to put all your ideas into practice. This is a teenage dream that we have to give up in order to become adults, because in reality it leads to dispersal of energy, which is unproductive. We must overcome this “Don Juanism” of a person who grasps at everything. I cannot work in all specialties at once, shine in all types of arts, defend all positions in a row, engage in all sports. I have to make a choice. The forerunner of existentialism, Søren Kierkegaard, spoke of choice as baptism, and this is fair, since this moment determines the formation of our personality. You must be able to limit yourself, set limits for yourself. Self-realization is inseparable from self-restraint.
The desire for self-realization and the desire to become happy are not the same thing?
Self-realization comes from perfectionism rather than from the pursuit of happiness, eudaimonism, which considers bliss, happiness as the motive and goal of all aspirations. “Happiness makes me bored,” said the heroine of Rousseau’s novel “The New Heloise.” This phrase very well conveys the spirit of self-realization. However, by making efforts to realize myself, I do not at all give up happiness. It will eventually come - as an addition, as a reward for my work. If, summing up my life, I can say: “I did everything I could, I used all my abilities, I achieved the goals that I set out, I followed my calling, I remained true to the life plan that I made in my youth,” - if I can, without sinning too much against the truth, say one of these phrases, then I will experience a feeling of satisfaction, peace, serenity. Isn't this what happiness is ultimately called?
