Unfortunately, we regularly have to deal with conflicting people. Let's figure out what traits make a personality conflicting, why this happens, and also discuss the main types of conflicting personalities. Knowing what exactly causes conflict in relationships with them, it will be easier to prevent it.
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1
Uncompromising
A conflicted personality is not ready to make concessions. Even if such a person understands that he is wrong, he will stand his ground. Of course, this will lead to conflict.
For harmonious relationships, you need to be able to conduct reasoned debate, and not just foam at the mouth to defend your position.
Even if the opponent is ready to give in a little and smooth out the conflict, such a person behaves uncompromisingly, which only adds fuel to the fire.
3
Accentuation of character
A particularly important personal element of conflict is the excessive expression of individual character traits of an individual.
To designate them, Karl Leonhard introduced the concept of character accentuation, that is, a certain direction of character . Accented individuals experience additional difficulties in interacting with others. And some overly expressed character traits are directly conflict-oriented.
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Accentuation of character
The types of accentuated personalities identified by Leonhard are divided into two groups:
- character accentuations ( demonstrative , undactic, stuck, excitable) and
- accentuations of temperament ( hyperthymic , dysthymic, anxious-fearful, cyclothymic, emotive, affective-exalted).
Types of accentuated personalities
Let's look at the character types of accentuated personalities?
Inflated self-esteem and narcissism
A conflicted personality also, as a rule, has inflated self-esteem. By putting himself above other people, overestimating his own importance, a person causes negative emotions and provokes conflict.
Often such narcissistic people take on tasks that they are unable to complete, cope with them poorly, but do not notice this and remain convinced that they did everything well. This causes resentment.
It is very important to be able to admit your mistakes, but people with high self-esteem do this poorly.
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A little more about the species
In addition to those described above, types of conflicting personalities are conventionally divided into two types:
- 1) situational-conflict;
- 2) permanent conflict.
For the first case, conflict is not a character trait. It's just a reaction to a specific situation. Such people go into conflict if they find no other way out. The second variety is characterized by a constant quality of conflict in character and behavior.
To determine whether you are a conflict person, you can take a test. It’s just important to answer the questions honestly, without a hint of guile. These tests are available on the Internet on special websites dedicated to psychology.
Tendency to gossip
People who spread rumors are real generators of conflict. Discussing other people behind their back often leads to infighting within the team. Gossipers make other people quarrel, and they themselves don’t mind getting on someone’s nerves.
And even if a person does not spread gossip, but only listens to it and believes it, the likelihood of a conflict still increases. Omissions and unfounded suspicions appear. Someday this hidden discontent will definitely come out.
7
Affective rigidity
This is the inertia of thinking regarding the establishment of a connection between events and certain affective reactions. In other words, a person is not able to connect real events with fantasy. This hinders him from identifying and solving real problems.
A person with affective rigidity focuses excessively on some object or situation. At the same time, the overpowering feelings excessively influence a person’s behavior. In this case, the previous experience of experienced experiences is included. As a result, a person acts according to a previously proven algorithm.
Intolerance of opposition
Conflict-ridden personalities cannot stand other people's points of view. Any contrary opinion should be ridiculed or at least ignored. The world can only be the way they see it. Not otherwise.
Such inertia forces hostility even when the difference in opinions is not critical and it was possible to do without conflicts: a discrepancy in points of view is not a problem in itself. But no, a person who cannot stand opposition will be able to make any minor contradiction a reason for a fierce quarrel.
8
The desire to argue for the sake of arguing
Many have heard that truth is born in a dispute. This is true when it comes to constructive dispute. Arguments, counterarguments, impartiality, the desire not just to show oneself, but to determine who is really right - all this can lead to the truth. But conflicted individuals do not need this.
They want to argue for the sake of arguing. They enjoy the process itself. They triumph when the exhausted interlocutor simply waves his hand at them and refuses to take part in a verbal skirmish. Such people will not be able to produce truth in a dispute, but there will be more than enough conflicts.
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External signs
A rigid personality is distinguished by the habits characteristic of this type. These people often cross their arms over their chest, as they intuitively try to close the solar plexus area so as not to succumb to feelings. They have a preference for dark shades of clothing, their favorite color is black. They prefer styles that fit the waist, again trying to squeeze the solar plexus area.
A rigid person always maintains his posture. He has a proportionate physique, even if over time he becomes overweight, the acquisition of which he is more afraid of than all other people. His shoulders are always straight and his neck is proudly stretched out.
Rigid individuals have liveliness of character and mobility. However, they are not flexible enough. The look of such people is lively and open.
If you notice similar external signs in yourself, as well as behavior and communication, you cannot leave the problem unattended. In order to avoid worsening your condition, it is recommended to seek help from a psychologist.
Inadequate perception of criticism
Criticism is a catalyst for development. Knowing our shortcomings and weaknesses, we can begin to work on them and become better. But, unfortunately, not everyone adheres to this position.
A conflicted personality takes any criticism with hostility. Even justified and aimed at helping. Therefore, any remark addressed to such people starts the process of formation of conflicts and strife.
These were the general characteristics that make a personality conflicted. Now let's look at the typologies of conflicting personalities.
How to deal with those who want to make you guilty or fall into pessimism bordering on aggression?
The main thing is to listen to the accuser. And the pessimist needs to be given time to think and agree with his fears. It is important to find usefulness in his position. Don't be surprised, but in this way he will become your ally.
It is better not to mess with the passive-aggressive type at all. If this cannot be avoided, then you should not count on them to perform important tasks. Their tricks should not be taken to heart, and you should not show anger and disappointment outwardly. It is important to ensure that he writes down exactly what is expected of him. A copy must be kept, and the significant consequences for him of failure to complete the task, the progress of which will be strictly controlled, must be clearly outlined to him. As long as these people have not done anything wrong, it is important to control yourself without making complaints. If you find whispering behind your back, then you should make it public while maintaining composure. Such people are strong, sitting in the “bushes”. If it is direct, they will most likely be confused.
Typology of conflicting personalities
In total there are 5 types. Let's look at each of them.
1
Demonstrative type
He wants to look good and be the center of attention. Likes to provoke superficial conflicts and admire his suffering.
Behavior is guided by emotions and avoids painstaking activities. In conflicts, he feels like a fish in water, does not try to escape them, on the contrary, he will make sure that the conflict takes place and that as much attention as possible is paid to it.
2
Rigid type
He is suspicious and straightforward. Self-esteem is inflated and requires constant confirmation from the outside.
He rarely considers other people's opinions and ignores points of view that differ from his own. Inflexible.
He is very sensitive to criticism and cannot tolerate unfair treatment (even if it only seems like that to him). He is touchy and does not like to admit his own imperfections.
3
Ungovernable
Very impulsive, his behavior cannot be predicted. Blames others for failures. Often violates the norms of communication between people.
Doesn't draw any conclusions from past experience. Does not correlate his actions with global goals, does not know how to plan.
4
Ultra-precise
Inflated demands both on others and on oneself. Scrupulous and picky, attentive to details. Has a high level of anxiety. Sensitive to the comments of others, but at the same time unemotional and has a low level of empathy.
5
"Conflict-free"
Contradictory and easily susceptible to suggestion. Depends on the opinions of those around him, often changes his mind, is inconsistent. Weak willpower, ready to compromise. He is not inclined to comprehend the reasons for his actions and the actions of the people around him.
If you recognize one of these types or one of the described traits in your interlocutor, be careful. Do not give in to provocations, try to translate the conflict into a rational channel. It will be helpful to take a lesson on conflict prevention and management.
And if you recognize one of the types or one of the conflicting traits in yourself, try to eradicate it. Few people want to deal with people who provoke quarrels and cause stress. If you become less conflictual, you will be able to achieve more.
We wish you success!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- 13 reasons why conflicts arise
- Bell and Hart's Eight Causes of Conflict
- Conflicts and strategies for dealing with them
- Overcoming the fear of confrontation
- Isaac Adizes "Union of Unlike"
- Conflicts in the work team: what they are and how to avoid them
- In a dispute, the truth is born: is it relevant or not?
- How to competently enter into conflict
- IBR Conflict Resolution Approach
- Resolving conflicts in a team
Key words:1Communication
Principles of behavior in conflict
Intrapersonal conflict in psychology - types, causes and consequences
The basic rules of behavior in conflicts consist of 6 strategies:
- Compliance. This is the most common method of preventing an argument. Participants in misunderstandings avoid a conflict situation by letting everything take its course or pretending that nothing happened.
- Adaptation. In this case, one side of the disagreement tries to adjust to the other. That is, if the interlocutor has his own point of view, but he does not voice it, because he is afraid of ruining the relationship or being misunderstood.
- Rivalry. The subjects of the conflict take active positions and try to prove their opinion to the opponent.
- Compromise. This is a solution that is acceptable to both conflicting parties, since it satisfies their interests to one degree or another.
- Cooperation. In this case, the parties find a method that satisfies the goals of both parties. For example, achieving the goals of one of the parties to the conflict will help the other to realize his plans, so he provides assistance to the opponent.
- Ignoring. This type of behavior suggests that a person does not want to enter into conflict, but by avoiding it, he only aggravates an already difficult situation. After all, the main essence of solving a problem is to eliminate the root cause of its occurrence, and without cooperation between the two parties this is almost impossible to do.
Conflict situations are a real devourer of positive emotions, which bring disappointment and often become the cause of apathy.
Note. Practice shows that it is not worth interfering in someone’s dispute, since trying to resolve someone else’s conflict can only aggravate it.
