Author of the material:
Igor Lyadsky
Geneticist, writer, business coach, Doctor of Philosophy (PhD).
It often happens that a certain concept is associated with something bad, but in reality it helps. For example, indifference, which is regarded as indifference to current events and people. Many people are sure that it’s bad to not care. They only use this word in a negative context, when they want to judge someone. Need to figure this out?
Is not giving a damn really a bad quality? Should you avoid communicating with such people? Or maybe, on the contrary, a simpler attitude towards life is talent? Perhaps everyone needs to learn this skill? Is it easy to replace the habit of taking everything to heart with the ability not to bother? Is it necessary to do this? If you don’t care, we suggest you read the article.
Theory and description
Due to the widespread prevalence of this phenomenon among the masses, different degrees and varieties are attributed to indifference. The very first and most important word that comes to mind when describing this position is “indifference.” But in fact, this concept does not fit as a synonym - a person who doesn’t care understands what he is doing.
But indifference is usually understood as a complete lack of feelings for something, be it a person, an object or an event. Moreover, this concerns, rather, reflexes, the intuitive and subconscious reaction of a person. But a person who doesn’t care is a person who is able to control this phenomenon. This means that he consciously makes a choice about which things or phenomena to attach importance to and which are not worth wasting his time on.
How do you understand that you don't care?
There are several characteristic signs that indicate that your partner has stopped loving you:
- Stopped paying attention. ...
- Avoids meetings. ...
- Avoids physical contact. ...
- Not interested in your affairs or well-being. ...
- I stopped consulting with you and talking about my affairs. ...
- He became cold and distant.
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Aggressive type
Here the situation is a little different, the person is proud of his position in life. And unlike the previous species, a person’s don’t-give-a-fuck attitude extends to everyone except him. In other words, he thus clears the way and accumulates strength to worry and worry exclusively about his Self.
Naturally, this has its own positive side, but it is canceled out by the inability to feel something for other people. It is precisely these women and men who don’t give a damn who create a negative image of the position itself, while openly praising their reluctance to perceive the world around them and take into account the needs of others.
Who are indifferent people?
Dictionary of synonyms INDIFFERENT - INDIFFERENT, indifferent, indifferent; indifferent, indifferent, indifferent. 1. Filled with indifference, devoid of interest in anything.
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Reasonable type
It is also commonly called healthy. Recently, many have been trying to develop this trait in themselves as part of personal self-development. This is an independent division of all life aspects into positive and negative, and subsequently the separation of the latter. We can say that a reasonable indifference is a guy who has chosen positive thinking; he tries to see a positive character in absolutely everything. Such people can rejoice, they are sincere and truly happy. They are able to believe in miracles, and the most interesting thing is that it is their belief in goodness that attracts a lot of good things into their lives.
Types of not giving a damn
In its mild form it is very useful and necessary for any person . This is healthy or rational indifference, which only adds strength and energy. In an advanced stage, when a person begins to degrade due to laziness and a disregard for life, we are talking about pathological indifference, which should be gotten rid of.
Much depends on temperament and personality type, which are determined by the speed of mental processes. Phlegmatic people are much more restrained by nature than choleric people. It is easier for sanguine people to ridicule the situation, let it go and stop worrying, but melancholic people spend a long time delving into themselves and cannot stop worrying. But they are able to learn a lighter attitude towards life.
Take a temperament test
In the context of this, it is correct to say that there is natural and acquired indifference . In the first case, the skill appears from birth and the person uses it subconsciously. Secondly, this skill is developed with age in response to experience. A melancholic or choleric person understands that they need to be less nervous and purposefully try to change their character, which is very difficult, but doable.
You can also talk about true and ostentatious indifference. If a person in the presence of other people behaves the same way as he does alone with himself, without worrying too much about any little thing, this is true indifference. When someone in society tries to be cool and restrained, and then, upon returning home, sobs into his pillow, breaks dishes and bites his elbows, he is playing to the audience.
The whole essence of ostentatious indifference is well illustrated by the following anecdote. “Three friends agreed that they would not raise money that they came across along the way. They were determined to become non-givers. We just went outside and looked at a dozen lying there. The first one passes by with the words “I don’t care.” Then they find a hundred. The second one says “I’m not interested” and steps over the banknote. They turn the corner and see a thousand. The third one immediately picks her up. Friends are indignant, “we agreed,” to which he replies, “I don’t care what we agreed on,” and stuffs the money into his pocket.”
Jokes aside, but sometimes it is beneficial for people to pretend to be others , getting used to a more suitable role. If it brings benefits, then let them do so. The main thing to remember is that suppressed emotions accumulate and sooner or later such a “don’t care” explodes like a volcano. Sometimes it is useful to give vent to negativity, building a reputation as a temperamental person, rather than giving the impression of a psycho who cannot restrain the full barrage of emotions. Everything should be in moderation.
How to become a don't care?
Any skill can be developed. Not caring is no exception. Personality is formed through the interaction of internal and external factors. The first includes one’s own worldview and psychology, the second – the environment. This means that in order to change your attitude towards the world, you need to work on each component.
Surround yourself with calm people
It is difficult to find peace of mind when everyone around you is making noise and fussing. If a person decides to become an indifference, it is advisable to communicate with the same people. This doesn't mean you need to get rid of the rest. It is simply advisable to shift the focus of attention to those who are calmer and more balanced. Then it will be much easier to become like that yourself.
Take a stress test
Explore the issue of not giving a damn
Ignorance often breeds misunderstanding and rejection. If a person thinks that he doesn’t need a skill, he won’t learn it. Before you start developing indifference, you need to be inspired by this idea and understand all the advantages. You can read Mark Manson’s previously reviewed book and draw conclusions.
Relative type
Such people choose what in their lives is worth paying attention to and what not. Moreover, things, people and even concepts can fall into this category. Most often, this trait manifests itself in purposeful individuals. Some creative people and entrepreneurs specifically develop this feature in themselves in order to complete assigned tasks and not waste their energy.
Moreover, hobbies can be very different, not only work or creativity, but also sports, the opposite sex, religion, or anything really. This kind of indifference can be equated to determination, which is a completely positive quality. However, the end does not always justify the means, and this is clearly not worth forgetting.
The benefits of not giving a damn
Simple examples showed the beauty of this personality quality. Many motivational speakers and writers talk about the benefits of not giving a fuck. For example, Mark Manson in his book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” explains, not without irony, the secrets of this skill. The main idea of this book is to forget, don’t worry, live more simply, and then everything will work out.
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This is a rather bold statement, given the trends in society. People are taught to become highly effective, to use every second productively, to form ambitious goals and achieve them at any cost. In the race for success, many people experience depression, insomnia and stress.
The ability to treat failures and difficulties with a degree of indifference makes a person’s life easier , helps to avoid emotional burnout, and not to get involved in a meaningless race and mouse fuss. Preserving peace of mind and balance are the main “bonuses” of not giving a fuck, which force you to pay close attention to this skill and even develop it purposefully.
Take the EQ emotional intelligence test
The harm of not giving a damn
In addition to the positive aspects, not giving a damn can play a cruel joke on the person who practices it. After all, inertia and passivity, which often follow on the heels of this skill, will not bring anything good to a person. The world loves proactive people who actively conquer it. When not giving a fuck helps you cope with failure, it is absolutely useful.
If because of him a person misses the opportunity to develop and realize himself, then what benefit can we talk about? This is obvious and not subject to discussion. It all depends on the degree of indifference and its appropriateness in a particular situation. The gradation of this quality can be very diverse, which we’ll talk about now.
