Author of the material:
Svetlana Smyshlyak
philologist, writer, lyric poet
Everyone knows what needs to be prepared to cook borscht. But not everyone knows what is needed for happiness. Psychologists say that for a happy life it is enough to have 8 components. What these components are and how many of them you have, you can find out right now by reading our article to the end.
Do we think about the fact that happiness is a personal choice? Every person in this world has the right to happiness, but what does he do for this? Albert Einstein once said that a person has only two options for how to live his life. The first one is that there seem to be no miracles. The second is as if the world consists of miracles.
Studies have shown that the average person lives about 76 years, that is, 3952 weeks. It’s hard to imagine, but we “wake up” 1317 of them. How long do you have to stay awake? How much time has already been wasted on quarrels, conflicts and depression? When we think about it, we realize that life is a priceless gift. And it depends only on us whether we learn to use it or not.
We can find happiness here and now - this is the real secret of success. How to do it? Believe that everything is in our hands. This idea is well illustrated in the parable of the Sufi mystic.
One wise man always looked happy. Those around him did not see him sad, grumbled or irritated. When the aged mystic was on his deathbed, a faithful disciple asked him: “Tell us the secret, how did you manage to live your whole life in joy and fun?”
The sage answered him:
“When I began to comprehend wisdom, I asked the same question to my mentor. I was 18 years old at the time, and I already felt overwhelmed, depressed and unhappy. And my 80-year-old teacher, without losing heart, always found a reason for joy, laughter, and fun.
He told me then: “I used to be as sad as you, and then I made my choice.” And then I understood everything: I also have the right to happiness, I just need to use it. After this conversation, every morning, when I open my eyes, I ask myself: “What are you choosing today – a gloomy mood or bliss?” I always prefer the second option.
In fact, this is what happens: leaving the house on a spring morning, we can enjoy the amazing singing of birds or grumble, looking at the dirt under our feet, garbage on the side of the road or stray dogs.
Psychologists say that the main reason why we cannot let happiness in is the constant desire to get what we don’t have. It's time to stop and think carefully about what a person needs to be happy. Simple answers can surprise and prompt you to choose how to live your day today.
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What is happiness
Happiness is a special state of a person, which develops individually for each individual. This is an ephemeral concept, the same as love, so it is impossible to derive a specific formula with exact meanings.
Considering the scientific component of this desired feeling, we can conclude that happiness is the release of special hormones into the human body that affect certain areas of the brain. It's all about neurotransmitters and neurostimulants that regulate the movement of serotonin and are responsible for the transmission and strength of its impulses. Many people have heard about serotonin; its deficiency is associated with depression, and its excess is associated with euphoria and a feeling of complete satisfaction.
The release of serotonin and similar “happiness hormones” in the human body is associated with various events in his life. If you ask a passerby on the street “what is happiness,” most likely he will not answer right away. Some people get this feeling from achievements at work, for some, family is the main source of happiness, some find this feeling in art.
Philosophers considered the topic of happiness one of the most vague and controversial. Buddha, long before our era, believed that the main thing in finding happiness is the path to it, satisfaction from every minute lived. Socrates argued that the main thing is to feel satisfaction from small things, and not to mindlessly strive for something sublime and unattainable. Happiness, according to the dogmas of Confucianism, is the search for the reasons why we wake up every morning. Finding a reason to live each day means finding happiness.
It is very difficult to give a clear explanation of happiness. There is no mathematical calculation or axiom that can define it. After all, the ancient Greek historian Guy Crispus said the words that everyone now knows - “everyone is the smith of his own happiness.”
Love.
Without the feeling of love, a person cannot exist. Nature created him this way. Only everyone has their own source of love. Someone follows the traditional path, finding a faithful life partner, devoting themselves to children and family. Someone expresses all their love by caring for a pet. For some, it is enough to receive the love of friends. And religious people claim that Faith gives them optimism and love.
One way or another, without this feeling it is impossible to feel complete joy. By the way, most of the psychological traumas that we discover as adults are based precisely on the lack of love and care in childhood. They just don’t let you feel happiness here and now.
What is happiness for a person?
Looking at the successful people around them who have achieved a lot in their careers or personal lives, the conclusion suggests itself: this person has found his happiness. Sometimes such an observation may turn out to be erroneous. A successful businessman or a happy family man can turn out to be deeply unhappy people. It is impossible to judge the degree of happiness or unhappiness of an outsider.
A person who has found harmony with himself through his favorite activity or lifestyle can be called happy. If there is a feeling of satisfaction from what a person does every day, he can be called happy. Satisfaction, completeness and meaningfulness of one’s life are the main components of the feeling of happiness, therefore it is pointless to judge the happiness of another person; you will never know how he feels. A rich person living in luxury can be deeply unhappy, while a homeless person, deprived of everything, can have unlimited pleasure in his life.
The components of a happy life are individual: some see happiness in philanthropy, devoting oneself to helping people; for some, happiness is a carefree life filled with fun and relaxation; others find it on the Olympus of victories among admirers. Happiness is relative and multifaceted; a person sees in it a reflection of his dreams and aspirations.
Is there such a thing as female and male happiness, what is the difference?
The happiness of a man and a woman can be similar, but at the same time significantly different. The basic principles are the same: both men and women want to have good health, the opportunity to express themselves, seek purpose in life, and receive recognition. Depending on life attitudes and priorities, interest in certain areas of life may vary. Many women cite marriage and family as the most important things in life, while men may gravitate more toward creating their own careers.
What men need to be happy
Since the Stone Age, men have been assigned the status of breadwinner and protector. A modern man strives to achieve success at work, to be strong and influential in order to be able to protect and provide for his family. Showing yourself weak for a representative of the stronger sex means undermining your authority.
It is important for men to continue the family line and pass on their life’s work, inheritance and name to their descendants. No wonder they say that every man should build a house, plant a tree and raise a son.
Research by psychologists has confirmed that it is success, authority and the speed of climbing the career ladder that provides a man with happiness and satisfaction in life.
What women need to be happy
Traditionally, women's happiness is usually associated with a woman having a family and children. A woman is more inclined to find a reliable partner and create a family with him. Many women associate happiness and meaning in life with motherhood, raising children and caring for loved ones. Women's heightened sense of beauty allows them to find their calling in art, music and dance; Some representatives of the fair sex find happiness in their careers and self-development. Communication is one of the most important tools for gaining satisfaction in life; most women see communication with friends as one of the components of happiness and good mood.
Prosperity.
This is not about wealth and accumulation at all, but about meeting basic needs. It's hard to be joyful when you don't know where to get money for treatment, food or warm clothes. Lack of money is largely the main cause of quarrels and divorces among married couples. And if the heart understands that with a sweetheart there is heaven in the hut, then the mind trusts the cruel reality more.
To earn enough money, we spend more time at work, which means we get tired more and feel worse. And in such a state, even a salary does not bring fun. It turns out to be a vicious circle. Modern studies have shown that residents of countries with low levels of economic development rarely smile and are susceptible to alcohol addiction and psychological breakdowns. It is important to find a balance between poverty and wealth so that you have time for yourself, your family, and your favorite activities. Only in this harmony will a person feel happiness here and now.
Is it possible to feel happy all the time?
Happiness is an almost elusive feeling from life that you don’t want to let go of. Having felt happy once, a person never ceases to wonder whether it is possible to prolong this feeling forever.
It is impossible to control all events in life, no one is immune from unpleasant moments, therefore it is especially important to maintain internal harmony and try to react to everything that happens in a positive way.
You need to learn how to respond to stress and irritants. This is where science comes in again: the stress hormone, cortisol, causes the body to feel fear, which is a reflection of similar fear from the past. It is important to understand the reasons for this feeling in order not to feed it and learn to react to the surrounding reality more positively.
Changing your thinking to a positive one is one of the best ways to feel happier. Instead of complaining about life and injustice, it is better to switch attention to the good that is around. Sometimes unpleasant moments in everyday life do not allow you to take a sober look at the world and see reasons for joy in it.
Moving forward is the real engine of happiness. Daily small achievements contribute to the release of the hormone dopamine, which, along with serotonin, is responsible for happiness and life satisfaction. And the thought that such daily effort will lead to achieving a large-scale goal in the future is in itself uplifting.
There is no exact recipe for continuous happiness, it consists of thousands of little things and is individual for everyone, the main thing is to find harmony with your inner world.
How social media makes us unhappy
Social networks are created to unite and communicate with people around the world, how can they make anyone unhappy? At the University of Rome La Sapienzo, a whole study was conducted to prove that a person’s true happiness cannot be built on virtual communication.
The authors of the report asked respondents to rate their lives on a 10-point scale, and then found out how much time they spent on social networks and how much time they devoted to live communication. The results of the study were striking - the more the respondent spends in the virtual world, the lower his satisfaction with life.
The fact is that the habit of spending free time on the Internet reduces the time for communication in real life. As you know, it is live communication that improves mood and has a beneficial effect on the emotional background. In addition, in real life, a person decides for himself what kind of people to surround himself with, which cannot be said about social networks. There, sometimes you have to defend your opinion in front of a wide audience and in front of strangers, with whom in real life you would hardly develop friendly relations due to differences in interests and views.
In addition, it has been proven that constantly looking at posts about the lives of other people threatens with a feeling of dissatisfaction with your life. Someone else's life seems brighter and more interesting, the picture on social networks looks ideal and makes some people feel more unhappy.
It is not at all necessary to completely cut yourself off from communication on social networks; it is enough to just find a middle ground and not forget that only live communication contributes to a good mood.
Health.
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To be happy, a person needs health. Each of us periodically gets sick, experiencing physical illness. But if these phenomena are episodic, then they do not have a significant impact on the attitude towards life. If the problem is serious and requires close attention and long-term treatment, then this test can take away the joy. Although strong people who have learned to live and accept physical pain consider themselves happy in this situation. But this is more the exception than the rule.
Do you need money for happiness?
One of the questions that plagues many people is: is happiness measured by money? It would seem that if happiness is in communication, family, health, what does money have to do with it?
A number of researchers in the field of psychology have found that wealthy people find happiness not from the number in their bank account, but from the very process of achieving financial well-being. Money only determines the amount of goods acquired by a person.
A study conducted by the Superjob platform showed different results. The respondents proved that their life satisfaction directly depends on the amount of money. This is explained by the fact that the amount of goods a person needs to feel satisfied directly depends on his level of income. Everything that helps a person feel confident, safe and gain status in society depends on the thickness of his wallet. However, the richer a person is, the more money he needs to be happy. One of the most famous billionaires, Nelson Rockefeller, was asked how much more money he needed to feel happy. His answer was: another 4 billion. At that time, his fortune was estimated at $3 billion.
There is a saying that money can't buy happiness. However, many things that make a person happier can only be purchased with money.
Is it possible to be happy without a partner?
Many people associate their happiness with their personal life and having a partner, so loneliness is one of the main threats to happiness for some people.
You don't have to be in a relationship with someone to find happiness. Many people consider the mere existence of a relationship to be the key to success and fulfillment in life. Happiness can only be brought by a healthy relationship with a loved one, full of understanding and mutual support.
There is no need to create the illusion that the absence of a couple puts an end to a happy life. If you are confident that only having a partner will make life full and bright, you need to radically change your view of the world. Only he himself can make a person happy through the search for harmony with himself and with his thoughts.
If it seems that complete satisfaction with life will come only after finding a soulmate, there is no need to get hung up on this thought. Sometimes the reckless pursuit of relationships brings stress and disappointment instead of happiness.
A short description of the experiment of the scientist Robert, what should you do to be happy?
2 groups were taken in 1938 from Harvard University. The first group of guys who went to World War II, the second group were young boys from low-income families, disadvantaged areas of Boston. Each participant underwent an interview and medical examination. During their lives, they managed to become: doctors, athletes, builders. Architects, workers, alcoholics, one of the guys became President of the States. Someone got sick and died, someone became a millionaire. The tracking project lasted 75 years. Over the years, the project management sent participants questionnaires with questions about life.
The truth and the result turned out to be simple and unsurprising, but very significant.
“Close relationships influence well-being, the generally accepted concept of happiness. Betting on your career and remaining a proud loner is not an option, as many years of surveys have shown. People who constantly spoke up for their friends, for good relationships at work, turned out to be much happier and were many times more successful in life.”
conclusions
Happiness is an ephemeral feeling that all people strive to find. Wherever the source of happiness is, a person will always be in search of it.
For some, happiness is hidden in their career, for others they find it in their family and children; for some, being happy means gaining fame and recognition.
Some are sure that happiness is in abundance, while others collect it bit by bit in relationships. Men find it in gaining authority and work, and women find it in the home and communication.
It is important to remember that social networks, money or relationships do not determine the level of happiness and are not an indicator of success. To find harmony, you must always listen to yourself and do what makes your eyes sparkle.
What do you need to do to learn to be happy even in difficult periods of life?
Did you know that of the entire population of Russia, only 1% turns to a psychotherapist for help? If not, then it's true. Moreover:
- 78% of people try to hide their experiences, forgetting about the main question: “how to learn to be happy?” They get lost in complexes and suffering. They make unsuccessful attempts to get out of severe depression.
- 57% believe that they have everything on their own and no psychologist will help correct situations from the present or past, making them happy and dotting all the I’s.
- 23% are confident that they will get out of a bad period on their own, and the psychotherapist can only pump money out of them.
- 14% are interested in psychological and emotional states. They watch various programs and study literature on psychology.
Let’s not hide the fact that when a difficult or very difficult period comes in life, a person utters the phrase: “I want to die.” This means that the person is completely burnt out emotionally. Such a person no longer sees happiness in the morning dawn, in a wonderful breakfast, in a kiss from a loved one. Simply put, there is no strength left for anything other than being upset and whining. In this case, psychologists recommend pulling yourself together and starting the week, day, minute with a new leaf. You shouldn’t forget about the problems that have accumulated, but sometimes it’s better to put them aside so that you can come up with an idea on how to resolve the situation that has happened.
