Hello, dear readers!
Can you call yourself a truly happy person? Here, honestly, hand on heart, say: “yes, I have everything for complete happiness!” I can, for example, say that I’m happy, but I can’t say that I completely, in some ways, would like more =)
Each of us strives for happiness and harmony in the soul, this is natural, this is life. There is even an International Day of Happiness. But what makes a person happy? This article contains 11 things that answer this question.
What is happiness for a person?
To answer the question of what happiness is, what it is and why it is so important, let’s try to turn to specialists. Let's start with the interpretations of this word made by the great Russian language researchers Vladimir Dahl and Sergei Ozhegov.
Dahl's explanatory dictionary gives the following definition of happiness: fate, well-being, life without worries; in general, everything that a person wants to receive and what he wants to achieve. Sergei Ozhegov formulated this definition more precisely. He called it a feeling and state of complete, supreme satisfaction.
Many philosophers have thought about the interpretation of happiness. And each of them gave his own answer to the question “What is happiness?” Thus, the ancient Greek philosopher and thinker Socrates believed that only the person who can learn to control his desires and enjoy what he has can become happy. His student, Plato, said that happiness can only be found through self-knowledge.
There were also more unusual statements about this feeling. Friedrich Nietzsche considered it happiness to gain power over himself and others. In his opinion, only the person who fully controls his life and the lives of others could call himself happy. And Benedict Spinoza stated that happiness lies in gaining wisdom and knowing the truth.
What can be said by examining these contradictory statements? Happiness is, in simple words, the feeling that a person experiences at the moment when he achieves a goal or receives something valuable. Moreover, he can become happy both from receiving intangible things (knowledge, love, recognition) and from achieving specific material benefits (wealth, a prestigious position, etc.). It all depends on the person himself, his worldview and his life goals.
Omar Khayyam: about happiness
They devote time to physical activity
Exercise is an important source of hormonal and neurotransmitter balance. Activity helps the body produce oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins - the chemical foundations of happiness.
Therefore, even 15 minutes of daily exercise can make us more productive and energetic. And it also adds self-confidence.
If you're having trouble finding motivation for fitness, here are a few life hacks you can try:
- Find a company. Arrange to go to the fitness center with a friend or do exercises at home by calling on Skype. You will receive additional support, as well as motivation not to let your partner down and not give up training.
- Download a fitness tracker to your phone that will remind you of your workout and show your results. It’s easier to do something if you see that you’re doing it for a reason.
- Find a workout that you enjoy. You don't have to pick up dumbbells to increase physical activity, especially if you don't like them. You can dance, do yoga, stretch, go for a run in the nearest park if you enjoy it.
Where does a person see his happiness?
✔️ Very often people confuse happiness with other feelings and sensations: pleasure, falling in love, satisfaction from achieving a goal. In some ways, these are truly related concepts. However, there is a significant difference between them.
✔️ Sensations differ from feelings in that they pass quite quickly. For example, a person who has satisfied a strong feeling of hunger or thirst experiences pleasure. Pleasure can also be caused by those phenomena that are not included in the list of basic human needs. So, many people enjoy listening to music, watching movies, and communicating with other people. But one way or another, the feeling of pleasure cannot be contained. It goes by pretty quickly.
✔️ Feelings are a completely different plane of human existence. They are relatively durable and differ from sensations in the strength of emotions. A person experiencing a feeling of falling in love is able to overcome difficult obstacles for several months in a row and still feel happy. True, this only applies to those cases when the feelings are mutual.
✔️ However, love does not equal happiness, like other strong feelings. Is the mother of the newborn happy? What if the child is sick? What if childbirth caused severe physical or mental trauma to a woman? It turns out that motherhood is happiness, but only if you have health, support and material benefits. The same applies to other life situations.
✔️ So what is happiness? What makes a person happy? If we try to generalize this concept for all people and derive a certain “formula of happiness,” we can say that a happy life is that rare case when a person is surrounded by material wealth and like-minded people whom he sincerely values. In other words, happy is the one who has everything necessary for happiness and is able to appreciate this gift of fate.
To understand this, let's give a simple example. Let's imagine that two neighbors live on the same staircase. Both have wonderful wives, healthy and smart children, and simple and profitable jobs. But one of them is deeply unhappy. He is not satisfied with the amount of earnings, the number of days off, city noise and even the singing of birds outside the window. The second neighbor is sincerely happy. He is happy with his family, work, comfortable housing and life in general.
It turns out that the secret of happiness lies in the person himself, his worldview, dreams and goals. After all, no one is stopping the first neighbor from changing his life: finding another job, moving to the suburbs, finding a hobby. That's not really the problem. This person is just used to thinking negatively. Therefore, he feels unhappy, being a healthy, wealthy, loved and loving man.
They are grateful for what they have
UC Davis professor Robert Emmons has been studying gratitude for more than a decade. He found that people who feel grateful—for a sunset, for a friend, or simply for being alive—are 25% happier than people who don't.
For example, you don’t like your job, but you have enough money to pay the bills and stay afloat. This does not mean that you should not strive to find a more suitable job. But for now, it’s worth showing gratitude that you have a way to earn money, unlike those whose search for vacancies has not yet been successful.
You can be grateful every day. For example, for being healthy. Or for sleeping in on a day off because your household was trying not to wake you up. Find small reasons to be grateful - and it will make you happier.
Why is happiness so important for a person?
Psychology is the science that best answers the question of how to be happy and why it is needed. Therefore, despite numerous differences in popular methods of psychoanalysis, the understanding of the essence and mechanisms of happiness in psychology is the same.
The psychology of human happiness looks like a formula in which happiness consists of the sum of deep satisfaction with life and a large number of positive emotions. At the same time, satisfaction with life is the key to long-term happiness, and not a fleeting sensation of this feeling.
They have goals
Most happy people know exactly why they do something in their lives. Every action they take is another step on the long path to success and happiness.
There is no universal goal, and no one can tell you what to strive for. Despite this, the goal is the most important life guideline that everyone chooses for themselves. It gives us a sense of meaning and satisfaction.
Since success is a subjective concept, it is very important to know what is most important in your life. Your purpose is why you wake up this morning and why you manage to survive difficult moments. It is also the main reason why you are happy or satisfied with life.
Defining your goal will help you understand what you need to do to achieve it. Here is an example of life goals that will make you a better person.
If it’s difficult to choose a global life goal, start with the “goal of the day.” For example, plan in the evening what you need to achieve tomorrow: walk 10,000 steps, write a chapter of a book, or complete a report at work on time. The feeling of satisfaction from completing a task reinforces our happiness.
They build strong relationships with people
Meaningful relationships, strong bonds and social connections are one of the biggest predictors of happiness. It plays a huge role in who we are and how we feel. Relationships with other people shape our thinking and well-being, and contribute to satisfaction and happiness.
Happy people invest their time, energy, and attention into building and nurturing meaningful relationships. They have friends of different ages, they try to spend time with their loved ones and strive to build strong and long-lasting romantic relationships.
Fostering these close relationships is quite simple: make it a priority. Spend more time with your friends, and if this is not possible, write them an SMS, call them at least once a week, support them if they need it.
It is also important to choose the right environment. Having happy people around us builds confidence, stimulates creativity and brings great pleasure. And hanging out with negative people has the opposite effect. Here's how to tell if you have a toxic boyfriend or girlfriend.
Rest.
Many people believe that rest can wait because it is a weakness, a luxury, or an unglamorous condition. But in fact, travel, entertainment, a fun pastime are what remain in the memory forever. If you try to remember important or interesting events over the past year, then, most likely, 80% of the memories will be associated with leisure and fun: sledding in a snowstorm, going to the theater or cinema, as well as holidays spent with family. It is easier for rested people to get to work, since while we are distracted, our strength is regenerated.
Summarizing all of the above, we conclude that happiness is a subtle and fragile thing, to which everyone has the right. Well, we have already said what is needed for happiness - to protect yourself, take care of your health, love, set goals, take care of freedom, believe, take care of prosperity, and also relax. And, of course, every morning remember the wisdom of the Sufi mystic.
Faith.
We are used to taking care of our physical health: eating delicious food, sleeping, getting treatment. What about the internal state? He also needs recharge. This is what faith is for. It is not for nothing that there are so many different religions and teachings in the world. There is no nation that does not have its own philosophy that shapes its outlook on life. In fact, the form of government of the state can also become a belief.
In the Soviet Union, the assertion that faith is the opium of the people was considered irrefutable. This is what those who blindly believed in communism said. And someone believes in science, statistics, research, confirmed data. Whether we understand it or not, it is faith that is the beacon on our path. If the light goes out, the traveler will stop. Faith is what a person needs to be happy.
They don't compare themselves to others
A happy person does not need the approval of others to feel satisfied with himself and his life. The only comparison they allow themselves is with themselves in the past. And, accordingly, they strive to become the best version of themselves, and not compete with someone in order to achieve success.
For example, in six months you managed to lose 10 kilograms. You compare yourself in the past and present and feel uplifted. But if you simply compared yourself with a slender friend, the effect would be the opposite.
Also, don't compare yourself to celebrities. Behind the “chic life” there are often hidden anxieties that we would not like to experience at all.
Love.
Without the feeling of love, a person cannot exist. Nature created him this way. Only everyone has their own source of love. Someone follows the traditional path, finding a faithful life partner, devoting themselves to children and family. Someone expresses all their love by caring for a pet. For some, it is enough to receive the love of friends. And religious people claim that Faith gives them optimism and love.
One way or another, without this feeling it is impossible to feel complete joy. By the way, most of the psychological traumas that we discover as adults are based precisely on the lack of love and care in childhood. They just don’t let you feel happiness here and now.
Freedom.
It is the desire to be free that can motivate a person to fight or rebel. This has been the case at all times and in almost every country. After all, what could be worse than slavery and humiliation? Those who survived imprisonment claim that there was only death. But deprivation of liberty is not only territorial isolation. Freedom is taken away from us when they deprive us of the right to choose, impose their opinion, give us an ultimatum, blackmail us, or tell us what to do. It is important for a person to have the right to his own opinion and the right to happiness or error.
Safety.
According to the results of a study by American scientist John Medina, our brain cares, first of all, about safety. In practice, it looks like this: as long as a person feels threatened and aggressive, he will not be able to relax in order to enjoy the benefits. It’s another matter when we are in a protected area, feeling comfort and stability.
It is worth remembering what happened to young people after World War II. This generation is called lost for a reason - young people did not see prospects, did not know how to live on, having buried their loved ones. Wars, famines, repressions, epidemics are factors that make us unhappy. Only a person who is confident in the future gives himself the right to happiness.
Thread State
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is the author of flow theory. Flow is a state of experiencing joy, fulfillment, pleasure and drive that arises in the process of some activity.
To get into a flow state, you need the following conditions:
1. The current task is manageable and not intimidating by its complexity.
2. At the same time, the task is not too simple and boring - it is a challenge to your skill, you have to try.
3. There is an opportunity to concentrate, you can be completely immersed in the process.
4. The task has a clear goal: you understand what needs to be done to solve the problem and can evaluate how well it is completed.
5. During the execution process, you can immediately evaluate whether you are doing it right.
Joy arises at the border
between boredom and fear of not being able to cope,
when the complexity of the task matches
the level of skill required to solve it.
Csikszentmihalyi M.,
"Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience"
How do you understand that you have “caught the wave and entered the flow”?
- You are so passionate that you forget about worries and problems.
- You are not afraid to fail.
- You seem to lose yourself in the activity, but when the task is completed, you feel that you are living more fully and consciously.
- The perception of time changes: it speeds up or slows down.
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