Hello everyone, dear friends! Writes Lyudmila Redkina. They say happy hours don't watch. Have you ever had such a feeling in reality? I remember when I went to the park with my loved one, time flew by very quickly and unnoticed... It was truly a state of happiness, but it quickly ended and everyday life began. But why does this happen: all their lives people strive to achieve this very state, but it still doesn’t come? In this article we will try to determine what happiness is for a person - a process, a goal or moments - and how it is expressed.
What is happiness
Happiness is a state of inspiration and harmony when you experience joy and delight in everything that happens in your life. Each person experiences happiness from different things - some need a lot of money to enjoy a new day, some are happy when their child takes his first steps, and for others it is enough to look out the window and see the sunshine.
However, there is one condition in order to call oneself a happy person - the ability to enjoy everything that happens to us now, without looking into the future and without hoping that someday “everything will be better.” They say you are born happy, but can't we learn to be happy? Let's look at this issue.
General contentment does not mean that a person has absolutely everything that life can give, but that he has something important to be happy about. And happiness is a long-term state (happy childhood, happy old age, happy life), and not a short-term reaction, which we prefer to call joy.
The Oxford English Dictionary agrees. Happiness is the state of being happy. The famous French dictionary Larousse disagrees with this: happiness is a state of complete satisfaction (bonheur - état de satisfaction complete). Note that the origins of the word "happiness" in French are very humble: bonheur is simply bon heur, or good hour. Apparently, in the past, people were more modest and did not demand too much from life.
Two main questions have been bothering people for a long time. Firstly, is it even possible to be happy, that is, is it possible to be happy for a long time, preferably throughout one’s life? Second: if this is possible in principle, then what needs to be done to achieve this. It is not surprising that all sciences dealing with human life have addressed it in one way or another.
What is happiness: a scientific approach
It is paradoxical, but the final answer to the question of what is more in life - happiness or unhappiness, and whether a long and happy life is even possible, was not given by theologians, not philosophers, not psychoanalysts or psychologists. It was given by physicists. But not ordinary physicists, but biothermodynamic physicists (Ilya Prigozhin, Erwin Bauer, Alexander Zotin). This is very interesting, so let's pause for a moment on this point.
In general, thermodynamics studies the exchange and transformation of energy in complex systems. For example, what should be the size and temperature of the radiator to keep the room warm in winter. That's it in a nutshell. Of course, thermodynamics also deals with more complex systems.
A person is a complex self-organizing system. It also exchanges matter and energy with the outside world. To do this, we must take something from the environment and give something in return. School definition textbook - life is based on metabolism. Therefore, in the mid-20th century, many physicists working in the field of thermodynamics began to study biological systems. At the intersection of these sciences, a new field arose - biothermodynamics.
And here a logical question arises: if life itself is designed in such a way that it can and should bring us chronic pleasure, then why does this often not happen? Recently, scientists have been working to answer this question. There were also successes. With the advent of Gestalt psychology and Gestalt therapy, it became clear that in order to enjoy life, the most important thing is to correctly organize only two basic processes: to get everything necessary for life and to get rid of everything unnecessary and interfering.
This is nothing new for any doctor. We inhale with pleasure and exhale with pleasure. We like to stay warm when it's cold and cool when it's hot. Plato wrote that “Medicine is essentially the science of the body’s desires to fill and empty,” and Hippocrates wrote that “medicine is addition and subtraction: taking away what is superfluous and adding what is lacking.” Unfortunately, psychologists, sociologists and educators are only beginning to understand the importance of these two basic life processes for happiness: aggression in the good sense of the word as the ability to get what you need from life, and elimination as the ability to reject and remove from life everything that interferes with it.
Issues of happiness were considered not only by psychologists and philosophers, but also by physicists and biologists
What is not happiness?
- Money, apartments, cars - all these things do not give happiness. Things in themselves cannot be happiness. If most people understood this, they would not spend most of their lives ending in deep disappointment.
- Sensual pleasures are also not true happiness. For example, sex, the pleasure of good food or alcohol, the joy of shopping - these are temporary pleasures, but without a feeling of true happiness.
- Read a sea of books, leaf through fashion magazines, fill your brain with information. This is what some people do, wanting to learn as much as possible in order to become happy. No one became happy, this has been proven over the years. The more a person saturates himself with unnecessary information, the more unhappy he becomes. A person's intelligence level does not affect whether he will be happy or not. There are many smart and erudite people in the world who feel deeply unhappy. In search of happiness, you should not stop at your professionalism and erudition.
- When it comes to talent, creative and talented people can also be unhappy. Some people believe that having talent is real happiness, but many famous and talented people, despite their qualities, are often deeply unhappy.
Already several hundred years ago, the sages said that a person’s happiness lies in peace with himself and complete harmony. We must learn to listen to our body and our mind. Understand what you need to feel happy - this is the true meaning of life. Don't live in vain hopes and dreams, don't let fears arise. A happy person is always calm, can sensibly assess his problems and troubles, and does not get hung up on them. Anxiety and any fears are not a problem for a happy person; he appreciates every minute he lives and enjoys the beauty of the world around him.
If life for you is a black and white movie and you see only the negative in all events, then do not expect to become a happy person after acquiring a material thing. Surrounding yourself with luxury items is not the answer. The solution is to figure out what makes you unhappy.
A person who is internally calm easily gets out of the most difficult situations and is not afraid of problems. You must understand that money often solves many problems, but your sense of happiness does not depend on these very problems. Think about it, there are probably people around you who often smile and enjoy even the little things. And then there are people who are sad because of small problems and often become depressed. And the worst thing happens when a person who does not feel happy seeks solace in alcohol or drugs.
Definitions of happiness from great people
Great people became great because they achieved success in life and became famous for something. I don't know how happy they are, but they definitely know how to feel and achieve. Being a great, famous person is a great test, and not everyone is able to pass it with dignity. Therefore, they defined this complex concept of happiness, based on their experience, their observations.
Let's see what it is in their understanding:
- “Many seek happiness in areas above their level, others - below. But happiness has the same height as a person.” — Confucius.
- “The great science of a happy life is to live only in the present.” - Pythagoras.
- “You must believe in the possibility of happiness in order to be happy” - Leo Tolstoy.
- “Everyone chases happiness, not noticing that happiness follows him.” - Bertolt Brecht.
- “Time, money... Happy is the one who does not count either one or the other.” - Aleksey Ivanov.
- “In the construction of human happiness, friendship builds walls, and love creates a dome.” - Kozma Prutkov.
- “The greatest happiness in life is the confidence that we are loved, loved for who we are, or in spite of who we are.” - Victor Hugo.
- “Happiness is not limited to having money, it lies in the joy of work and achievement.” — Franklin Roosevelt.
- “A man’s happiness or unhappiness is largely the work of his own hands.” - John Locke.
- “A slacker can never enjoy complete happiness; You will always find traces of discontent and apathy on the face of a slacker.” — Heinrich Goethe.
- There is no happiness without an admixture of unhappiness” - W. Shakespeare.
- “Nine-tenths of our happiness depends on health” - Arthur Schopenhauer.
- “If happiness consisted only in bodily pleasures, we would call happy the oxen that find peas to eat.” - Heraclitus of Ephesus.
- Happiness is like fairy-tale palaces, the doors of which are guarded by dragons, and you have to fight to take possession of them” - Alexandre Dumas.
- “Unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.” - Publius Syrus.
- “People can only be happy if they do not consider happiness as the goal of life.” — George Orwell.
- “To enjoy happiness is the greatest blessing, and to be able to give it to others is an even greater one.” — Francis Bacon.
- “One of the main signs of happiness and harmony is the complete absence of the need to prove anything to anyone.” — Nelson Mandela.
- “Happiness is like health: when you don’t see it, it’s there.” - I. Turgenev.
- “Happiness lies not so much in possession as in the process of mastering the object of our desires. For us to be happy, our happiness must always lack something.” — C. Helvetius.
This is the insight of great minds. You may not agree with something. But every statement has its own truth. I think each of these quotes are written from life experiences and failures.
What factors determine
The definition has been given, cut with a knife, but what is it? And here psychologists gave us the answer! Read the contents of our pie called “happiness”.
External environment
Let's start with the smallest ingredient. Only 10% of our well-being depends on the external environment. It's where we were born, what family we were born into. In short, everything that we initially have no control over and cannot change. But in adulthood, these factors are the easiest to change.
Personality
Here it will be upbringing, character, genes. Do you have friends who are always happy or always unhappy? It's all about character traits.
These factors are established at birth and are influenced by parents and the environment. You can change them by changing your environment, working with a psychologist, or working through them on your own. All in your hands.
Remember that 45% of your happiness depends on your thoughts and emotions. For some people this rate is even higher, so never ignore your individuality if you feel unhappy.
The concept of happiness is individual for each person
Self-realization
And the last point is approximately the same percentage as for personal qualities. Your satisfaction with your work, the results and the overall process is the key to your happiness. How can you be happy if you spend 5 days at a job that you don’t like, and on the weekends you watch TV and have no entertainment?
It doesn't work that way, think back to when you were young and dreamed of skydiving and book your spot for next weekend! Your accomplishments, your enjoyment of them, and the entire process are extremely important.
What about money?
You've probably already heard that the most frequent clients of a psychologist are rich people? There could be many reasons for this. For example, through hard work a person has isolated himself from others. Or, for example, he does not know how to hear what he wants, and simply does what his parents told him. Money is just a tool to achieve your goals.
Money alone will not make you happy. But, as the joke goes, “crying in a Porsche is much more comfortable than riding a bicycle.” And it’s more convenient to pay a psychologist without compromising basic needs. Therefore, harmony is important here.
By the way, according to sociological research, there are more happy people among poor people and people living in poor countries. Money gives you a feeling of happiness. But only as long as you strive to ensure that your physical needs are fully met - medicine, housing, education and predictable government action.
When you start earning more than you need to live, money itself doesn't bring you pleasure. It's all about what you spend it on. How many people actually have financial knowledge? To summarize, we can say that big money drowns out our more subtle needs. Or maybe not? Write your opinion!
In philosophy
In ancient ethics, the problem of happiness was a central category. It was first explored by Aristotle, who defined happiness as “the activity of the soul in the fullness of virtue” (Nicomachean Ethics). Virtue was defined as that which leads to happiness.
During the Hellenistic era, happiness was identified with pleasure in the philosophy of Epicureanism. The ancient Greek word happiness - “eudaimonia” (eudaimonia, εὖ - good, δαίμων - deity) - literally meant the fate of a person under the protection of the gods.
Eastern philosophy, proclaiming the unattainability of happiness in the material world, in its biological, physiological, social, economic and logical aspects, teaches a practical way to achieve an individual happy life.
In this regard, the following quote is indicative:
Fortunately, you can come in two ways. The first way is external. By acquiring a better home, better clothes, more pleasant friends, we can find happiness and satisfaction to one degree or another. The second path is the path of spiritual development, and it allows you to achieve inner happiness. However, these two approaches are not equivalent. External happiness without internal happiness cannot last long. If life is painted in black colors for you, if something is missing in your heart, you will not be happy, no matter how much luxury you surround yourself with. But if you have achieved inner peace, you can find happiness even in the most difficult conditions.
— Dalai Lama XIV[4]
From the point of view of yoga, happiness is a natural state of a person, a property of his nature. However, in everyday life, a person's true self is hidden under layers of habitual anxiety. This anxiety can be overcome through meditation, and then the person will reveal his true Self, and he will be able to experience a feeling of deep happiness[5].
Aristotle also believed that friends are a good that a happy person, among others, should have[6].
The following quote is also indicative:
After all, for the fullness of a person’s life, which is called happiness, material well-being and physical health are not enough. The highest joys of life are the joys of spiritual life. But the perception and understanding of the latter is directly proportional to the degree of development of consciousness. The improvement of the material situation of the masses must be accompanied by the development of their consciousness, their spiritual life.
— [7]
Thomas Aquinas in the Summa Theologica (Part 2, v. 2-5) believed that happiness ( beatitudo
) consists of “the perception of a perfect good” (
adeptionem perfecti boni
), but “in this life” (
in hac vita
) it is unattainable[8].
How to measure happiness?
One of the simplest ways to measure life satisfaction was proposed by psychologist Ed Diener. Using a scale from 1 to 7, please indicate the degree to which you agree with each of the following five statements. Rate 1 for strongly disagree, 3 for strongly disagree, 5 for strongly agree, and 7 for strongly agree. Try to answer honestly and truthfully.
- In many ways my life is close to my ideal.
- The circumstances of my life are wonderful.
- I'm happy with my life.
- There are things in my life that I really need.
- If I could live my life over again, I wouldn't change much.
Now add up all five numbers and get a total score: it should be between 5 and 35. This test shows how satisfied you are with your life. A score of 15 to 25 is considered average, a score below 14 is considered below average, and a score of 26 to 35 means you are likely satisfied with your life.
Can medications make you happier?
Can modern pharmacology help us become happier? The new generation of antidepressants works differently. A new generation of antidepressants and anti-depressants helps those who lead an active lifestyle, work very hard and cannot cope with fatigue - a consequence of overwork. Antidepressants allow them to be calmer, look at life more soberly, react adequately to what is happening and not throw out their emotions. But do they make a person happier? It’s unlikely: not a single pill can solve the problem of the emptiness of human existence or fill your life with meaning.
Examples of happiness from life
Let me start with a counterexample. Everyone remembers the famous Russian fable about the fish and the fisherman. What ultimately killed the old woman? Her dissatisfaction, her inability to enjoy and be happy with what she has. Having gained youth, a palace and wealth, at heart she remained a miser and a muttering bitch. And she returned to her rotten trough.
Another argument from literature can be Pushkin’s poem “Ruslan and Lyudmila” - here the heroes overcome obstacles and achieve one goal - to unite their loving hearts. It is after achieving this goal that peace, joy and complete satisfaction with the present moment comes.
In various programs we can see examples of true bliss when “amateurs” perform complex dance acrobatics, vocal episodes or musical passages.
About six months ago I was talking to a girl who had gone to Uganda as a volunteer. She told me that they only ate 4 meals every day and never ate anything else. How happy they were when they had mashed potatoes, stew and pizza. For them it was real happiness.
For my children, the greatest satisfaction in life comes at the seashore, or when they are fooling around with their dad, or when their favorite crab stick salad is on the table! In general, I noticed that it is much easier for children to feel happy than for adults.
And finally, two examples of famous people:
- Andrey Grigoriev-Appolonov, 44 years old, lead singer of the musical group “Ivanushki International”: “It’s simple. For me, happiness is loving and being loved.”
- And for Ben Carson, happiness was the carrying out of the world's first operation to separate Siamese twins.
And there is no shortage of examples of people striving to achieve something important, and they achieve it when they love, feel loved and are healthy.
There is no one-size-fits-all recipe for happiness
In literature
The Strugatsky brothers’ story “Monday Begins on Saturday” gives the following definitions of happiness[16]:
... the simplest negative definitions (“Money does not buy happiness”), the simplest positive definitions (“Highest satisfaction, complete contentment, success, luck”), casuistic definitions (“Happiness is the absence of unhappiness”) and paradoxical (“The happiest of all are jesters, fools, they are stupid and careless, because they do not know reproaches of conscience, they are not afraid of ghosts and other undead things, they are not tormented by the fear of future disasters, they are not deluded by the hope of future blessings”).
How to become happy and successful
In reality, becoming a happy person is a complex process. And it is obviously not aimed at achieving any material benefits or special social status.
When it comes to happiness, harmony with oneself is always assumed. Only a person who hears and understands himself can be happy. So here's what you can do:
- Engage in self-development. Explore your capabilities and talents;
- Express yourself - don’t be shy about your desires and fantasies;
- Try to understand and hear yourself - understand what your inner “I” wants;
- Work in a job that you enjoy;
- Surround yourself with people you like or admire;
- Don't be afraid to cut ties with those who make you uncomfortable;
- If you have injuries and post-traumatic syndrome, work through these issues with a specialist;
- Eliminate your complexes and internal clamps.
Psychology
In positive psychology, in particular, the following formula for happiness is used:
Happiness = deep satisfaction with life + maximum positive emotions + minimum negative emotions.
Moreover, positive emotions are associated with happiness in the present moment, and deep satisfaction is associated with happiness in the long term[9]. Thus, happiness is the joy we feel when we strive to reach our potential.
In accordance with the concept of the representative of humanistic psychology K. Rogers, self-knowledge gives a person the ability for personal growth, self-improvement, self-actualization, which is a necessary condition for achieving the fullness of life, a feeling of joy in life, and awareness of the meaning of life[10]. Special means of self-knowledge include various modern forms of work of a psychologist: individual counseling, in which the psychologist builds work with the patient in such a way that he opens up as much as possible, understands his problems, and finds internal resources to resolve them; work in a socio-psychological training group[11].
According to renowned psychologist John Gottman, success and happiness in all areas of life, including family relationships, are determined by awareness of your emotions and the ability to cope with your feelings. And this quality is called “emotional intelligence”[12].
Kuznetsov B.G. in his book “Philosophy of Optimism” gives his interpretation of Weber Fechtner’s psychological law: a person feels happy only when the factors that make a person happy increase. Otherwise, the feeling of happiness disappears.
