The concept of “spontaneity” is used in the modern world in a negative way and is personified with unpredictability, lack of control, and impetuosity. But quite recently it meant harmless suddenness and unexpectedness of actions. A spontaneous person arouses suspicion, distrust and a condescending attitude among others, caused by the fear that at any moment he might do something out of the ordinary. According to the unanimous opinion of society, it is impossible to rely on such a person due to his reckless unpredictability. Is spontaneity so dangerous, and how to identify this “dangerous” quality in yourself?
Is spontaneity good or bad?
In psychology, spontaneity has historically been explained in different ways. In some sources, a spontaneous person is a person who finds the strength and courage to act according to his inner impulses, ignoring external influences. In others, it is the inability to regulate one’s behavior, a complete lack of awareness of the actions being performed. Thus, spontaneity was first placed on a pedestal, and then rather rudely asked to vacate the wrongly occupied place. The concept of free personal expression fought against lack of control, and vice versa. Both concepts are quite interesting, because the spontaneous personality has long been a source of either admiration or contempt.
Psychologists' opinion
Psychologists are convinced that the most banal spontaneity plays an important role in the lives of lovers. This is the very zest that can revive relationships, including sexual ones, diversify life and bring novelty and freshness into it.
Spontaneity, according to research data, can not only enrich relationships, but also add spice and sensuality to them. Thanks to various kinds of spontaneity, the couple gets the opportunity to once again feel and experience the joy of communication and life together.
A brief moment of triumph of spontaneity
The scales in psychology continued to tug spontaneity in one direction or the other. Some argued that a spontaneous person is a dangerous and unreliable person, because he does not know how and does not want to control himself, while others praised individualism and the ability to be oneself. The end of this protracted discussion was put by the teachings of Moreno, Jung and Fromm, who boldly declared that the phenomenon we are considering is one of the driving energies of human existence, and the ability to show spontaneity is a sign of a real personality. According to their concept, this personality quality is considered a huge force that pushes a person towards self-realization and freedom of expression.
The spontaneity in their mouths became a challenge to established foundations and stereotypical behavior. It has become fashionable to “be yourself”, “decide to take your own path” instead of the usual “everyone does this, so I should too”, “be like the rest”. Spontaneity was finally established on the pedestal and was proclaimed “the road to self-development.”
Male manifestations of spontaneity in relationships
To refresh a relationship, spontaneous expressions of feelings and attention to a woman are enough for men. A home-cooked breakfast or a cup of coffee brought to bed, or a flower secretly left in a bag will definitely be an unexpected surprise, because women are naturally romantic and sentimental.
You can prepare unexpected gifts, trips to a restaurant or a movie in advance. And on the weekend, go to a hotel, replacing the boring atmosphere of the house with a completely different one. For a woman, this will be a little adventure and a great way out of routine.
Thanks to this approach, the couple’s life will noticeably change, and the man will receive a sea of emotions and a good mood from his wife in return. Even a spontaneous desire to take a walk or go shopping together will be a huge plus for a man and his relationship. Women know how to appreciate the efforts of their beloved man and reward him many times more in return.
Our days. Being spontaneous is not in fashion?!
Years passed, the masters of psychological sciences, who managed to restore spontaneity’s good name, have sunk into oblivion. And again she fell out of favor with the people; she was assigned such negative qualities as lack of control, impulsiveness and unpredictability. In the modern world, a spontaneous person is an infantile, irresponsible and immature person, unable to keep his irrepressible self in check. To be spontaneous - alas! - only children can.
The dynamically developing world has crushed us and taught us to follow responsibilities, schedules and stereotypes. Moral duty, education, social restrictions tied our hands, but we did not resist, confident that this was the way it should be. Even spontaneous speech is not held in high esteem these days - everything must be thought out, verified from all sides and presented through a sieve of stereotypes. And only a few of us find the strength to follow our inner convictions, without hearing the indignant cries of society, to move towards the freedom of our “I”. But we still can’t decide for ourselves who they are – outcasts of society or real individuals?
Meaning of the word spontaneous
Examples of the use of the word spontaneous in literature.
It is not difficult to guess that the mother and grandmother exert strong psychological pressure on the girl, mostly moral and intellectual, and the grandmother’s authoritarianism is expressed in countless prohibitions on her spontaneous, emotionally spontaneous activity.
Attempts to communicate with the metanites in the ammonium sea seemed to be simply aspects of this spontaneously emerging new penetration.
The major was an empiricist: he saw that assimilation occurs spontaneously, and hastened to take advantage of it.
It is not formed spontaneously as a simple attribution of some discourse to some individual.
And then the old beatnik began to ornate, began to teach the already learned Arbat rabble to despise society, hate monopolists and love spontaneous poetry.
In those cases with colleagues, Buchanan could count on their professional tact. But what to do now, how to protect yourself from the spontaneous reaction of a civilian whom he met while performing another assignment, a person who had no idea about Buchanan’s true profession?
The woman's primary care physician was informed that surgeons had transected the spinothalamic tract on the left side of the body, which resulted in a decrease in right-sided hyperesthesia, but deep, diffuse, spontaneous pain remained.
Thirdly, the fine structure of the construction of the atom and its parts should show that material units are not spontaneously formed formations.
The newspapers no longer talked about the birth of galaxies on subspace shallows for the benefit of agriculture - editorial articles were devoted to the spontaneously arising evil force in the form of a virtual commandant with a ring-shaped structure undermined by worms instead of brain convolutions.
By the way, this was not a penalty box, but a regular soldier named Mamkin, who had calligraphic handwriting and the ability to spontaneously compose either very funny or scary stories.
This is how he remembered his conversation with Mooney - no more and no less - which seemed to him like a small part of a hypermixture of thoughts and glyphs and spontaneous remarks of two neighbors of exaflop hackers.
Once again, we remind you that the more spontaneous and vivid your mental images become, the greater the likelihood of entering a dream without losing lucidity.
It is said that Guru Padmasambhava appeared spontaneously as an 8-year-old boy sitting in a lotus flower in the middle of a lake in Oddiyana.
Society—the sociosphere—develops spontaneously, according to laws that are immanent to it and discovered by Marxist science.
The Romanian example is not so simple, since there is evidence that the demonstrations in Timisoara were not completely spontaneous and that the riot was pre-planned by the military.
Source: Maxim Moshkov library
Make way for spontaneity!
Constantly living in a world of standards is hard and sad. Every person has the right for a brief moment to fall back into childhood and feel free, let off steam and return to normal life again. For spontaneity, like all good things, must have a time and a place. How to achieve such a state?
- Turn off your phone for a day.
- Order dishes in a cafe that you have never tried.
- Walk around your neighborhood aimlessly.
- Go visit friends you haven't met for a long time.
- Get on the bus and drive around the streets.
- Wear something you've never worn before.
- Go to the cinema to watch any movie.
Such actions will give you a charge of positive emotions and energy. You will be able to feel like a free, spontaneous person.
No matter how much this topic develops, each person has the right to answer the questions about whether a spontaneous person is good or bad, whether spontaneity is a danger to society or a form of self-expression, based on their own vision of this concept. However, you should not cut off your oxygen if spontaneity is a source of joy, movement and life for you.
Spontaneity of behavior
At first it may seem that clarity of organization and planned actions make a lot of sense. However, over time, stereotypes about the correctness and routine of life often collapse, causing stress, exhaustion, a feeling of meaninglessness and neuroses. Can you call a friend and go somewhere today just because you want to, without thinking about the things you need to do? Do you buy gifts for no reason, even for yourself, even small ones, just to make you happy? Have you hugged your friends tightly for no reason without saying a word? Have you tried something new without dooming yourself in advance to a negative result, convincing yourself that it won’t work? Have you ever engaged in creativity simply because of a random thought?
How often can you allow yourself to be spontaneous? We often like to control our lives and those of our loved ones; we are used to controlling our thoughts and actions, which is why we are often in a constrained state. There may be some impulse, but it was once devalued or prohibited within you. For example, when a child tries to do something that is inconsistent with etiquette or the ideas of his parents, he gets slapped, his hands become increasingly pinched and constrained, and along with them his movements and thoughts.
There is an inner child hidden in everyone, essentially a creator who strives to express himself. You don’t need to suddenly become a child, regress and always be just a child - no, spontaneity is just a sign of naturalness, discover in yourself a child’s trust in the world, which will help you accept situations that you cannot control. You shouldn’t control or fight them, but just accept them, even surrender to chance.
Spontaneity is a sign of a creative personality; with the development of spontaneity, creativity bursts into life in you. Haven’t you painted or danced for a long time? Haven’t you come up with fresh ideas for a long time? Engage in developing spontaneity, which can give you amazing, almost magical results. Spontaneity is also needed when you just need to stop and then start moving again without hesitation.
The development of spontaneity is especially required for people who are accustomed to comprehending, controlling, and deciding everything, avoiding new paths and anything new at all. They often want to try a new way of doing things, to gain more freedom, and they also experience great fear of stepping out of the box.
Women's spontaneity in relationships
It will be even easier for a woman who knows her man well than for a man. It’s worth renewing long-forgotten caresses; a candlelight dinner wouldn’t hurt. An extra smile and an affectionate gesture, no matter how naive it may look, will show a man that a woman is again ready to take care of him with love, and as a man, she needs him not only out of habit.
To take your relationship to a new format, you can arrange unexpected picnics for your husband in the forest or on the beach in the summer. A great solution would be to go to a football match. Even if a woman hates football, she should buy two tickets and go to the stadium with him. In return, she will receive the man’s gratitude and a sea of positive emotions addressed to her.
It doesn’t matter whether it is a well-thought-out and pre-planned surprise, or whether it is the embodiment of a momentary desire, the spontaneity of the act will not lose its value for the partner. A well-trodden road with a tired, well-trodden rut can very soon again become a comfortable and pleasant road of happiness, as it was at the beginning of the journey.
