Closed person: why do people close themselves off and not trust others?

Every day we are surrounded by many people, some we meet on the way to work, some are our neighbors, some are relatives or friends, and all these people are so different and dissimilar from each other, each has their own character and temperament. , as well as features of social activity. There are extroverts who are open to communication and introverts who are more comfortable being alone with themselves, but there are also closed people who became so not because of their temperament, but for some special reasons. In this article we will look at what human isolation is, how it manifests itself, and why it arises. You will also know how you can overcome your isolation.

Definition of the concept

Closedness is a negative psychological trait of an individual, expressed in the limitation of his communication with people. A closed person experiences serious difficulties at work, it is difficult for him to make new acquaintances, and it is difficult for him to make contact.

According to statistics, approximately 60% of the total population of our planet is familiar with isolation. In most cases, it is observed in childhood.

1. For some, isolation may be periodic in nature - it manifests itself in the presence of certain circumstances. There will be situational closure here.
2. For others, it may be permanent. In this case, it could be triggered either by psychological factors or by a disease, a sign of which is an internal concentration on one’s personality.

Appearance Features

A closed person in most cases is distinguished by thinness rather than fullness and density. His face is elongated, his head is often ovoid in shape, his nose is straight, his profile is “angular” (observed due to some shortening of the chin). The relationship between a long face, a thin figure and introversion is quite high. However, such a combination does not always indicate closedness. Overweight people also belong to the category of schizoids, but much less frequently.

Isolation in children

It is important to identify the cause of a child’s isolation in a timely manner.

The appearance of a withdrawn character in a child is often explained by:

• difficult family situation;
• lack of attention;
• serious psychological shock.

In a situation with children, it is extremely important to identify the cause in time and eliminate it. Otherwise, the consequences cannot be avoided:

• the appearance of unhealthy sleep;
• difficulties in communication that will negatively affect adulthood and even in adolescence;
• lack of self-confidence, because of which the child will be afraid to start any endeavors, he will have poor academic performance, and will be plagued by ridicule from peers, especially teenagers, among whom an introverted child will stand out greatly;
• the development of serious psychopathy if isolation arose as a result of severe fright or a traumatic situation.

Sometimes parents are unable to understand what exactly led their child to withdraw into himself. In such a situation, it is important to contact a child psychologist.

Possible reasons

Closedness may develop due to the presence of a psychological illness

First of all, we will consider the factors that influence the occurrence of periodic closure:

• lack of interest in the conversation, a conversation with a person who is unpleasant may look to others like isolation;
• the presence of a depressed emotional state in an individual will lead to silence, reticence and apathy;
• severe fatigue, chronic stress can also have manifestations similar to a closed type of character;
• passion for certain thoughts, thoughtfulness can be expressed in secretive behavior.

Psychological factors influencing the development of isolation include:

• the presence of low communication skills due to undeveloped interpersonal interaction, for example, as a result of the presence of physical defects, long-term hospital treatment, lack of socialization experience (when a child does not go to kindergarten, he immediately ends up in a school group);
• the consequences of a negative experience - for example, a situation when an individual wants to be alone as a result of having had a difficult relationship and is now protecting himself from possible traumatic relationships, not wanting to experience a new betrayal;
• property of temperament - phlegmatic people, melancholic people are more withdrawn; such people have been silent and uncommunicative since childhood;
• peculiarities of upbringing - situations where in the family the parents were constantly busy with themselves, did not develop the child’s speaking skills or showed aggression towards him;
• fear of communication as a result of the presence of unstable self-esteem, lack of self-confidence - for example, a person may not believe that he is able to please someone, be an interesting conversationalist, engages in self-flagellation, criticizes himself.

In what cases is isolation a manifestation of the disease:

• the presence of a depressive disorder - the individual’s emotional background decreases, he feels constant sadness, loses interest in everything that surrounds him, becomes silent and uncommunicative;
• schizoid psychopathy - such a person will be concentrated on his inner experiences, carried away by his thoughts;
• sociopathy - the individual ignores social norms and is prone to aggression;
• Anxious personality disorder - a person is characterized by low self-esteem, a desire for social withdrawal, and constant worry;
• schizophrenia - characterized by personality changes, the presence of incorrect thinking;
• autism - manifested by a lack of need for social communication, the patient does not want to make contact with anyone, he vitally needs loneliness;
• the presence of a delusional disorder - a person becomes silent, behaves withdrawn, and is haunted by delusional ideas.

Develop your people skills

Closed people are uncommunicative. It seems even convenient, because you are protected from the risk of rejection, you are not afraid of awkwardness, condemnation, conflict and other problems of interpersonal communication.

So there are secondary benefits to your isolation.

But there are still more negative consequences. Because the loneliness that accompanies closed people becomes the cause of depression, as well as psychosomatic illnesses. Try the following tips to open up to people.

• Smile at people passing by on the street or just look them in the eyes to make you feel part of the community.
• Learn how to communicate with people so you can have a casual conversation and stop being afraid of them.
• Take up liberating creative activities, such as singing or acting. By the way, introverted people often have more creative abilities than others.

Of course it won't be easy for you. You will worry that you will say something stupid or cause confusion among others. But you have to get out of your comfort zone if you want to stop being closed off. At first, just get used to being in society, and then slowly open up to communication so that the transition is smooth and less stressful.

Characteristic manifestations

Loneliness and silence are signs of a closed person

Let's look at what the signs of a closed person are:

• the presence of self-doubt and self-confidence - such an individual remains silent, does not express his opinion out loud, and will never be an initiator or leader;
• a closed person is not talkative, often silent, and when asked questions he answers reservedly, in short phrases;
• such a person is very shy, does not feel the desire to be in the center of everyone's attention;
• such an individual is too serious and behaves passively;
• a feeling of serious difficulties in communicating with society - it is extremely difficult for such a person to achieve success in his personal life and career growth;

A closed personality can be recognized even before communicating with her, by a number of manifestations:

• such a person always has his hands either crossed or in his pockets;
• as a rule, the head is lowered or the gaze is directed downward;
• a reserved person tries to remain unnoticed, will never dress brightly or wear makeup;
• if a forced conversation takes place, he will not look the interlocutor in the eyes.

Features of lifestyle, attitudes, activities

The inner world of introverts is orderly, and they expect the same from the outer world. Their way of thinking and internal organization are reflected in all their actions. For example, they find it easy to accept rules and follow them. They achieve success in the professional field where they are prescribed to act in a certain way. Any deviation from the norm causes irritation in introverts.

At the same time, serious contradictions often arise at work. The desire of a schizoid to always follow instructions can result in accusations of formalism. At the same time, the above qualities of introverts are simply irreplaceable, for example, in military affairs or in financial management.

The psychology of behavior of a person who is closed in on himself turns an argument with him into an unbearable process. And all because the introvert is captive to plans, schemes, forms, words. This is reflected in the fact that mental constructs and theories are more convincing and valuable to him than specific life facts. For this reason, schizoids often find themselves in opposition, preferring not to mix with fashion, the opinions of others, or mass movements. Keeping their distance is not difficult for them. Introverts are often surrounded by an atmosphere of mystery; they are considered originals with a touch of aristocracy.

How to get rid of isolation

Communication with people is an important component of modern life

1. Understand your feelings. It is important to understand what exactly led you to become isolated. By identifying the reason, you can overcome your shyness.
2. Learn to think positively. Stop being critical of your personality.
3. Engage in self-development.
4. Develop self-confidence. Decide on a hobby. Once you start receiving results from your activities, you will believe in your strength.
5. Gradually leave your comfort zone, expand your surroundings.
6. If you find it difficult to communicate with people, start with an exercise. Stand in front of a mirror and have a conversation with your reflection, imagining that it is someone else.
7. If you cannot cope with isolation on your own, and you realize that this character trait is a problem, then you should seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will be able to identify what exactly influenced the development of isolation. Taking into account your reason, it will determine what type of therapy you need (group trainings, individual sessions, or just lifestyle correction).

Now you know, if a person withdraws into himself, for what reasons this could happen. Remember that closed people have difficulty communicating, they have problems at work, in their personal lives, and even develop somatic diseases. That’s why it’s so important to confront your isolation by developing sociability and confidence.

Emotional background

The experiences of closed people are unique and sometimes seem paradoxical to others. On the one hand, introverts are distinguished by restraint and coldness, on the other hand, they are vulnerable and emotional. Schizoids show an acute reaction to everything that affects their own values. Often this is a spiritual response to injustice, rudeness, disorder.

Currently, the so-called emotional intelligence is being actively discussed. One of its signs is understanding the feelings and moods of others. This is a trait that many introverts cannot boast of. Closed people, of course, suspect that certain feelings are raging within you, but they must be informed about this. They rely on what is said, while not paying attention to intonation and facial expression.