Seriousness is a pretty good trait, which often helps a woman realize herself. However, it also has a very unpleasant side. When you start to take life too hard, every day becomes a real struggle for peace of mind. Most experts recommend looking at the world through the prism of simplicity and positivity. Only in this way will there be a real chance to love what you do and how you live.
Many interesting books have been written on this topic, including Mikhail Labkovsky’s work “How to Treat Life Easier.” Let's touch on this issue more purposefully and understand why we need to learn all this at all. Isn't it easier to leave everything as it is? And what does personal psychology recommend to girls in this case?
In this article:
The Negative Consequences of Taking Life Too SeriouslyHow to Take Life Easier
1.You never have time for family and friends
When your loved ones need you, are you always available?
Are you in touch? How would they answer this question? Perhaps you are one of those parents who leaves for work at the crack of dawn and returns well after midnight - solely for the sake of “so that the children have the best.” Yes, such people really often work in important and responsible jobs, but the trouble is that they are never around when their children need them. Even if they have highly qualified nannies or loving grandmothers.
Or maybe you are that friend with whom it is impossible to talk for even five minutes, looking eye to eye - during this time you will definitely be distracted by the phone: “it’s about work,” “I’ll just be a second.”
If you can't find time to reflect on your life, have heart-to-heart conversations with friends, or spend an evening with your family, you may be taking things too seriously.
What does it mean to live “here and now”?
If you learn to analyze today's situation, think about today's result, what to do now, then you will have practically no time left to think about the past.
The main state of a successful and happy person is to live, act and make decisions “here and now”.
Take an example from your life: when you do what you love, you are 100% involved, and answer this question:
- Is it possible to think about the past at these moments?
Agree, it is very difficult:
3.You can't forgive others for their shortcomings.
Perhaps you are one of those people who lashes out at your subordinates or literally boils over when your colleagues make a mistake. It could also be different: you are an unrestrained parent who is capable of scolding your child for a low grade or bad behavior.
Do you really think that only those around you are to blame for everything? They, of course, could play a role in what was happening, but what if the problem is that your bar is too high? Maybe it’s time to take a deep breath and try to “let go” of the situation - the one that caused your anger, and those that will follow it more than once?
Time is also alive and it also loves to be appreciated, felt, penetrated, heard.
Agree, it is unpleasant if there is a person next to you who does not see or hear you, he is only present nearby, but mentally is somewhere far away. If you treat time the same way, you will not experience all the beauty of this life. Therefore, by respecting time, we begin to respect life.
Don't think that you are doing anything right - there is no such thing. Here it is more appropriate to use “more correctly”, in other words, more experienced. Every time we improve, the correctness of actions comes with experience, and over time we become more professional, making fewer and fewer mistakes.
5.You don't know how to enjoy little things
Do you notice what is happening around: weather changes, a beautiful sunset, fallen dew; people, small signs of attention on their part; the smile of a random passerby? Perhaps you are so humble that the tiny steps that bring you closer to her do not seem worthy of joy to you?
Life does not consist only of global goals and achievements. Life is what happens to us here and now: with whom we woke up in the morning, what we ate for breakfast, what the taste of our morning coffee was, how our day went, what thoughts and feelings the events that made it up aroused in us.
Think, is it time to reconsider your attitude towards life? Just please don’t take this task too seriously.
Your own line
Although our life is full of problems and unpleasant situations, it is very important to have your own line and stick to it in any situation. What does this mean? Even every negative event will not necessarily lead to a hopeless situation; you must be able to adapt to the flow of life. No one is asking you to just accept it - allow yourself to be an ordinary person who knows how to accept and overcome difficulties. Well, you didn’t achieve what you wanted today, but completely different opportunities may open up before you!
There is no suitable job, maybe you should try doing something diametrically opposite. After all, as we know, when one door closes, another immediately opens. If you have no luck in your personal life yet, it doesn’t matter, maybe an absolutely amazing person awaits you in the future. It is important to really understand the existing problems, and not the situations you have imagined. You need to “bend your line”, while you yourself need to become more loyal and flexible! This will be difficult to do at first. Start with the little things: your job is not satisfying, change your attitude towards it! After all, this is not the main activity in life, switch to your family, spend more time with your family. This will bring you emotional release and lift your spirits. If you dream of traveling, but don’t have the funds, it’s okay, go to a neighboring city and just take a walk, admire the beauty and understand that you can entertain yourself in different ways.
Going with the flow does not mean wallowing in your failures. This is just a way to quickly reach new opportunities without breaking your neck!
Fears
Very often we become hostage to fears. And fears, as we know, paralyze and prevent us from moving forward easily and confidently. They vary in size and appearance. This could be fears for loved ones, fear of making a mistake, failing, being judged, etc. Regardless of the motive, fear always brings destruction, stagnation, and apathy. That is, depression.
Let’s deal with everything in order in order to objectively assess our capabilities and the obstacles to their implementation.
Take these 2 tests and determine your attitude towards life!
In this article you will find two tests that will help you determine your attitude towards life, identify internal aspirations, attitudes and unconscious desires.
How to find out your attitude towards life?
Just take the tests below.
The only condition: first pass the tests, and only then read their transcript. Otherwise, you will unknowingly play along with yourself, and the information you receive will be distorted.
Attitude to life: test No. 1
- Draw a straight horizontal line anywhere on a sheet of paper.
- Place a dot anywhere on this line. Mark it with a small cross.
- From this point, draw another arbitrary line of any configuration. Let the hand decide for itself which whimsical zigzags to depict... Draw the line until the hand itself stops.
Attitude to life: test No. 2
- Divide a piece of paper anywhere with a horizontal line.
- Then also divide the sheet vertically. Draw your lines wherever you want.
- It turned out to be four fields. In any of them, place a small cross, indicating the starting point of the new line.
- From this point, with a relaxed hand, draw a line freely and randomly. The line should not obey logic, you draw it the way your hand wants... This drawing will tell you about your subconscious attitude towards the world and how you evaluate yourself in the system of life relationships, how you are going to realize yourself, where your intentions are directed.
These tests can only be taken once. Repetition will not give an exact answer, because, knowing the principle of reflecting information, you will unconsciously play along with yourself, trying to show yourself better than you really are.
Transcript of test No. 1
The first straight line is the line of socially acceptable human behavior. Depending on the location of the line on the sheet, you can determine the degree of a person’s self-esteem, predisposition to success, his vision of life around him and his place in it.
If the line is drawn at the very top of the sheet, there is almost all the space under it, and there is nothing above it except a small free strip, this indicates low self-esteem, that the person has built a ban on himself, above which he cannot jump. All his interests went inward.
A busy mental life, a constant confrontation of unconscious conflicts, a battle with oneself to take the next small step in life, indecision, a fearful attitude towards everything new...
This position of the line is an indicator of a person’s complex¹, his being squeezed in the grip of internal prohibitions, which are so strong that they determine the lifestyle, completely subjugating the personality...
The line at the bottom of the sheet repeats the above picture exactly the opposite. Such a person has little doubt about the correctness of his actions and does not take into account the opinions of others.
Some deep experiences and suffering are unknown to him, since the sphere of his manifestation is external actions. He submits to the norms of social behavior if they suit him. But when the opportunity arises to break them without much risk to himself, he easily goes for it.
There is no external pleasure that he would not like to try.
But the mind protects such a person from dangerous pleasures: drugs, excessive alcohol consumption, etc. These are all methods of escaping reality, but he is happy with his life, positive thinking prevails in him, he does not need to run away from life and himself, life for him is success and pleasure, he derives pleasure.
The line in the middle shows that a person equally combines the ability to live an external life and internal depth. This combination is the most harmonious, and allows a person to easily fit into life, suffer in moderation and rejoice in moderation, everything is in reasonable sufficiency, and therefore balanced and calm...
Accordingly, all other possible options for the arrangement of lines on the sheet are only derivatives of the three main ones.
It should also be added that if the line is oriented on the sheet from bottom to top (diagonally, at an angle, etc.), then a person has a powerful internal incentive to comprehend new things. However, if it is not supported by anything - it has no basis in the depths of the spiritual world, then in case of failure a person can, just as easily as he rose, slide down into apathy, empty-mindedness, dissatisfaction with himself and others...
The second line is the implementation line. Depending on its location - above the main line or below - we can talk about external or internal orientation.
In each specific case, the line of behavior and the line of implementation show the influence of unconscious attitudes on human behavior: what is the strength of the complexes, and their coverage of the unconscious space, how wide is the range of conflicts and the great degree of their deviation from socially acceptable behavior.
Realization does not necessarily denote any practical action of a person.
You can realize yourself in your imagination, on paper, and even in your feelings. It’s just that this type of realization will not have material expression, but in the depths of the psychic world it is no less real than everything else...
Transcript of test No. 2
Dividing the sheet with a horizontal line shows approximately the same as in the first case. You designate a place for material and manifest life and for inner, spiritual or neuropsychic life.
Depending on the location of the line on the sheet, we can draw a conclusion about the predominance of certain aspects of psycho-emotional and psycho-informational activity.
The vertical line dividing the sheet from top to bottom clearly indicates the perception of the world as consisting of two halves: black and white. The white, positive half is always the left side, and the right is always the negative side.
Thus we have four fields. See what prevails in you. If your inner world is large and filled with positive states, then on paper it looks like this:
- The left margin, located under the horizontal line, is significantly larger than the right one.
But if the inner world is filled with the dark side of existence:
- the lower right field is much larger than the left, then your complexes can lead to illness.
However, the location of the fields, their configuration, and area explain only part of the internal state. But the cross that you put arbitrarily says about what position in life you occupy now, from what field you look at the world and what states push you to unexpected actions.
conclusions
Based on this test, you can draw conclusions about your condition: look at the location of the arbitrary line of intentions and aspirations that you laid from the point of today’s perception.
For some it may be a stable straight line directed towards positive changes, for others it may be a sharply falling curve going into the depths of the negative field. Often the line is in all fields. Winding like a flat river, it captures pieces of positive spaces and again goes into negative zones...
The line behaves the way a person behaves in life: after joy comes trouble, and vice versa.
Success and luck directly depend on the location of this line². It is important to determine the direction of the line, understand where and how it touches the negative zones, and in which field it ended.
If this field is external and good, then it means that complexes and internal problems do not bother you too much and positive thinking predominates in you. And if it’s internal and dark, then negative attitudes take over, problems and complexes put pressure, fighting them becomes a matter of survival...
When the line passes through the intersection point of the vertical and horizontal, this indicates “mental fatigue.” This means you need to take urgent action, otherwise depression may fall on you.
What mission and fate are in store for you personally? Are you aware of your innate gift? Are you using all your abilities to get 100% out of life and reap the rewards of wealth and success? Find out about this from your personal diagnosis. To do this, follow the link and fill out the form >>>
Notes and feature articles for deeper understanding of the material
¹ Complex - in psychology (primarily in psychoanalysis) a concept denoting “an emotionally charged set of ideas, motives and attitudes formed in the unconscious (or repressed into it), which has a significant impact on the development and functioning of the psyche, personality and behavior of a person” (Wikipedia) . Read about how to get rid of complexes here >>>
² Find out: “How to become lucky?”
Categories : Positive Thinking
Tags : getting information
PS
To understand how to approach life more simply, you just need to not perceive everything as more than it is. It is necessary to cultivate a positive worldview, soberly assess the situation and your capabilities. Doing crazy things is not shameful, and sometimes even useful. It's okay to make mistakes. Change your thinking, be open to everything new, listen to others, but live with your heart. And you won’t notice how the space around you will change, and your life will become freer and easier.
Bad habits
We will not talk here about smoking, alcohol and other addictions, but about such phenomena as envy, irritability, gossip. These too have become bad habits of most people. Becoming their hostage means wasting your time. And we only have one life. And is it worth wasting it on such nasty little things? All three phenomena are interconnected and give rise to one another. As a rule, they arise because a person is dissatisfied with his life, but, trying to compensate for his own failures, he goes to great lengths in order to denigrate his neighbor. But this doesn’t make his life any brighter. Constant surveillance and gossip about other people's lives destroy our own. If your neighbor is so bad, is it worth it?
Getting rid of perfectionism
Perfectionists are people who, no matter what they undertake, strive to do everything in an ideal way. Moreover, this perfectionism can also be directed at others, to whom they place excessive demands. Often, perfectionists themselves depend on the opinions of other people because they feel the need for praise and meeting other people's expectations.
This desire to achieve an ideal often takes a pathological form and can cause nervous breakdown. “There is no limit to perfection,” so a perfectionist is rarely satisfied with the result. He is not able to rejoice in the present, because he is haunted by a feeling of dissatisfaction, imperfection and an endless search for the ideal.
Living more simply means learning to accept the world as it is.
Based on the example of great people
Many outstanding scientists and artists had difficult destinies and life circumstances. But this did not stop them from overcoming difficulties and becoming famous. Today, their quotes on how to approach life more simply serve as useful guidelines for us. These are the same rules and psychological techniques that were created by someone else's bitter experience. But, as a rule, it is possible to fully realize them only after one’s own disappointments. It's worth listening to the advice of successful people. It doesn’t hurt to adopt optimism, diligence and determination from your predecessors. But you will still have your own path and mistakes.
