Annoying people can be found everywhere. But how can you ignore a person who annoys you without feeling guilty or uncomfortable? Even fleeting, but frequent communication with unwanted interlocutors can have far-reaching consequences, negatively affecting health and character.
Let's analyze the problem. When should you ignore people?
Learning to ignore people who evoke only negative emotions is quite easy. However, there is no need to rush. Think about whether you will regret your decision, because there may not be a chance to take back your words. Reflect on the purpose of ignoring, be honest with yourself. Maybe you just want to attract the attention of certain people?
If you become the object of ridicule, try to react to them differently. Resist your embarrassment or anger and act as if the remark did not apply to you. There is another way: to calmly agree with all his barbs. In any case, don't show that you're hurt. The offender will probably stop and you won't have to ignore him.
Keep in mind: you need to ignore only when you want to completely free yourself from unpleasant people, as if you had never met.
Why are some people annoying?
Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and the founder of analytical psychology, worked on many issues. He was interested not only in all kinds of disorders of the nervous system, but also in the peculiarities of relationships between people in society. In his book “Eon. Studies on the Symbolism of the Self,” he wrote, about how the desire to correct something in others is of dubious usefulness.
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The authority of the famous scientist does not allow one to doubt the conclusion he made on the basis of many years of observations. This means that you shouldn’t enter into polemics with annoying people.
K. Jung considered irritation caused by other people as a person’s reaction to his own shortcomings, even if they had not yet been identified and designated.
These are the ones we have to work on. First of all, it is worth analyzing your own behavior. If you don’t like loud, booming laughter, then you should focus on your reactions to jokes. Perhaps somewhere deep down in your soul there is a strong discontent hidden and you subconsciously want to change them.
Rude people and selfish people cause a whole barrage of indignation in response. Most people are sincerely outraged by their arrogance and boorish behavior. The negative assessment, in this case, is completely justified.
What to do if annoying acquaintances demand attention?
So, you've weighed everything carefully and are still confident that ignoring is your option. If people you don’t want to communicate with know you superficially, then
- Look into their eyes as little as possible; when you do, don’t smile.
- keep your distance from these people; when passing by, don’t linger.
- do something else. If you read a book or listen to music while wearing headphones, you are less likely to be disturbed than if your face looks bored and your eyes look one way or the other.
- take the necessary action on social media.
If you don't like one of your employees, limit yourself to discussing business issues.
Find like-minded people
How to put a colleague in his place? You can't find a way to rein in a person who behaves disrespectfully towards the entire team? Find like-minded people. Other colleagues will be happy to support you. A collective uprising against one person will always be more effective than if you fought on your own. Remember, one in the field is not a warrior. Let the entire team take part in the re-education of the boor. Someone can make fun of him, someone can openly condemn him, and someone can bring him into a frank conversation.
Do you want quick results in re-educating the “black sheep”? Give the boorish employee an intervention. Let each of your colleagues express their opinion and provide him with their vision of the situation. Such psychological work will help a person reconsider his view of normal human relationships and think about how to change his character.
How to learn to ignore friends?
It may also happen that you want to ignore old friends. In this case, we advise you to talk confidentially. Maybe they found themselves in a difficult situation? It is likely that you will understand each other, and the relationship will become the same.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If you find yourself in the middle of a real conflict, which has the only way out - ignoring, directly tell your former friends about it.
Remember: you must be straightforward but polite. Do not be ironic, be serious, so that your words are not taken as ridicule or a childish whim.
There is no need to expect that your former friends will immediately agree with you and you will part ways peacefully. You will probably need a lot of patience to completely eliminate these people from your life. Don't answer their calls or messages. Do they write offensive things to you? Don't give in. Otherwise, you will not get rid of tension, but will increase it. If this doesn't work, say you will complain to the appropriate authorities. Let people who are unpleasant to you understand that you are determined.
Try to discuss the situation only with loved ones. By attracting strangers, you risk becoming the center of an entire epic. Answer questions concisely, and gradually they will disappear.
Ignoring people is an extreme measure. Let it be expressed not only by words, but also by actions, therefore:
- Avoid potential meeting places (for example, a bus stop where you have often seen each other before, or a favorite cafe). If you do collide, limit yourself to nodding your head. Stop and ask “How are you?” will be redundant. We also do not recommend turning away if you have already been seen. Behave calmly and respectably.
- Ask mutual friends not to invite you to the same events (except for a large event like a graduation or wedding, when you don't have to talk to every one of three hundred people).
- think about what else unites you, and protect yourself as much as possible from unnecessary communication.
Keep in mind that it is equally important to expel people who are unpleasant to you from your own head. This is not easy if they previously played a significant role in your life. In order not to be distracted by memories, keep yourself busy, not with routine, but with something interesting. Buy a book of poems that you’ve been wanting to read for a long time, try cooking a new dish, go to the zoo. New impressions will not take long to arrive!
It has been observed that cleansing the mind, sometimes in a surprising way, transforms an unpleasant situation or removes a person from your life, or relationships improve naturally.
Signs that your colleagues don't like you
Some people are too suspicious and see offensive actions and mockery where they actually do not exist. They interpret any word, phrase and completely correct request incorrectly, believing that the team is opposed to them.
Let's figure out what signs indicate bullying in the workplace.
- Ignore. You look like a waste of space to your colleagues. They don’t ask you for your opinion on work issues, and they don’t notice you at general meetings and conferences. They may not even say hello or goodbye to you at the end of the working day.
- Any thought or idea voiced by you is met with hostility. There is a whole list of arguments against it. They may not even listen to you to the end, interrupting the monologue mid-sentence. The same thoughts expressed by another person would certainly be taken into account and listened to carefully.
- Communication occurs only on the work plane. Employees, even during breaks, do not start conversations on personal or abstract topics. They are not interested in your personal life, hobbies, preferences, they may not know when your birthday is.
- Even those colleagues who are lower in position than you behave in a condescending manner. Everyone around you gives you orders and demonstrates superiority and exclusivity in every possible way.
- There are rumors about you. When you appear, everyone looks at each other meaningfully and giggles behind their backs. You may even hear snippets of conversations in which you are being discussed.
- You will always be to blame for all failures and work troubles. All colleagues will confirm that it was your mistake that became fatal, even if this is not at all the case. Conversely, all achievements and ideas will go unnoticed or their authorship will be attributed to others.
- You are never invited to informal meetings outside the office walls. Colleagues can attend concerts together and go to cafes. They don’t invite you with them, but they are happy to discuss the past evening in your presence.
- They constantly send you vacancies, advertising in every possible way the advantages of a new place of work. At the same time, employees openly say that you will not achieve anything in your current position and in this place. Thus, your co-workers just want to get rid of you.
Ignoring and unrequited love.
The sphere of personal relationships is special. Unfortunately, ignoring a person who aroused considerable hopes (and, as it turned out, in vain) is more difficult than deleting someone from your list of VKontakte friends. Therefore, the techniques listed below may only be partially effective. Time will help with the rest.
- Don’t blame yourself for falling in love with the “wrong” person.
- tune in to distance: reduce the number of meetings, calls, messages. When going to the theater, cinema or on a holiday, offer company to other people.
- don't run away from new acquaintances. Just don't forget about sincerity! It’s not worth entering into a relationship specifically to get the past out of your head, or dating “out of spite” for an unsuccessful past. Focus only on whether the new person is interesting to you or not.
The situation is easier if the object of your feelings is from unfamiliar people, with whom you have never spoken and only said hello twice. Avoid possible meetings and as soon as you notice that you are mentally returning to him, distract yourself (see the last paragraph of the 3rd point).
How to learn to ignore a person if the opposite situation arises (you yourself have become the object of the experience)?
- do not accept gifts, whatever their price.
- actively communicate with other representatives of a different gender. You can just pretend, the main thing is that the person you don’t like sees it. His confidence will immediately decrease.
- be constant in failure. A person must understand that your dry answers are not at all coquetry and not a sign of a bad mood.
Don't be afraid to be sarcastic
How to put a star-studded colleague in his place? You need to let the person understand that you shouldn’t demonstrate your inflated self-esteem at work. Sarcasm will make it clear how you feel about her.
Does a person walk around with his head always raised and pretend that he is better than everyone else? You can quote the poem in front of him: “The lower a person’s soul, the higher he lifts his nose. He reaches with his nose to where his soul has not grown.” It's a shame? Yes. Hurt? May be. But such statements help a person come down to earth and understand who he really is. Self-motivated people who are always trying to be better than everyone else are not the most pleasant people. You don't have to teach them how to live, but you will have to put them in their place from time to time. Otherwise, the person may indulge his whims and begin to ruin the life of the entire team. Keeping the person within limits will help you and other colleagues maintain friendly relations.
What to do if they ignore you?
Suddenly you realized that a friend or loved one is gradually disappearing from your life. Maybe you yourself gave him a reason - you forgot about the promise, caused jealousy, did not congratulate him on an important event? Admit your guilt and try to correct the mistake. In the latter case, buy a gift and a card. Of course, congratulations are good on time, but late attention is better than nothing. One way or another, you must show that you are sincerely sorry and that friendship with this person is very important to you.
If you are sure that you have done nothing wrong, talk to him. Be careful with reproaches and other negativity, because this will only increase the problem. The person who cares about you will not miss the chance to bring you back into his life.
There are other ways to ignore someone, but remember that solving a problem is always preferable to avoiding it.
Good luck!
Understand the reasons
Every person has reasons to act the way they do. To better understand a person’s behavior, you need to lift the veil of secrecy. Think about why a once normal person behaves disrespectfully? Perhaps he has problems in his family and the constant tense atmosphere affects his state of mind. Has the person become irritable and nervous? Ask him if there is anything you can do to help. Seeing your good attitude and disposition, a colleague may pour out his soul to you, and such a monologue in itself will bring him relief. Well, if you can help, then help. When a person improves his personal life, then misunderstandings at work will remain a thing of the past.
How to put an employee in his place? You need to understand what irritates a person. A colleague may be too nervous because he feels underappreciated. If management has recently promoted many people, but a colleague has been deprived of attention, then he can use arrogance to hide his anger and disdain for his superiors.
Advice from psychologists
There are two points of view on manipulation in relationships:
- Ignoring a man is the worst way to start a conversation. The couple will not be able to exist together, since the connection is built artificially. Love is a chemical reaction that cannot be created out of nothing. If the partner is cold from the beginning, then nothing will change. It is better not to try to win the heart of an indifferent person. There are a lot of people in the world who will give you much more positive emotions in the future. A woman shouldn't get hung up on a guy who doesn't show interest in return. Such people need to be avoided.
- Relationships start with shenanigans. The person lies and embellishes. This behavior is encouraged by society, so people lie to make themselves look good. At the beginning of a relationship, a guy flaunts only positive traits. He, like a turkey, tries to dance a mating dance for the female. A girl can ignore a guy and use other manipulations. There is nothing immoral about this.
Both theories are correct, because they have a common link - the factor of falling in love. It doesn't matter where the feeling comes from. If people are made for each other, then they will be together both with and without ignorance. There are no limits or frames for love. She will be able to get into a hard heart and soften it.
Article information
This article was co-authored by. Tasha Rube is a Licensed Master of Social Work from Missouri. She received her master's degree from the University of Missouri in 2014.
Category: Conflicts
In other languages:
English: Ignore People You No Longer Wish to Be Around, Italiano: Ignorare Le Persone Che Non Vuoi Più Avere Intorno, Español: ignorar a la gente que ya no te cae bien, Português: Ignorar Pessoas que Você Não Quer Mais por Perto, Deutsch : Ignoriere Menschen mit denen du nichts mehr zu tun haben willst, Tiếng Việt: Lờ đi người mà bạn không còn muốn ở cạnh, Français: ignorer les personnes qu'on ne veut plus fréquenter, Bahasa Indonesia: Mengaba ikan Orang yang Tidak Anda Kehendaki, 한국어: 더 이상 가까이 하고 싶지 않은 사람 무시하는 방법, ไทย: เลิกสนใจคน ที่เราไม่อยากข้องแวะด้วย, please: لا تريدهم في حياتك, Nederlands: Iemand negeren waar je een hekel aan hebt, 中文: 无视你想绝交的人, हिन्दी: उन लोगों को इग्नोर करें जिनसे आप Türkçe: Artık Etrafında Olmasını İstemediğin Bir Kişi Nasıl Görmezden Gelinir, 日本語: 苦手な人と距離を置く
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