Hello! My name is Igor Lapin, I am a professional pickup trainer. And today we’ll talk about how to properly ignore a girl, and why this is even necessary. And first, about what ignoring is. This is really a pick-up technique that is often used in the game of the “closer-further” technique, when you need to lure your partner with something, and then ignore it in order to increase your price. I have separate articles about this, which you may have already read. But in reality this is a completely different kind of ignoring.
What is ignore
Ignoring comes in several forms:
- lack of response to messages on social networks;
- ignore calls;
- avoidance during personal meetings on the street or in other public places.
It is extremely unpleasant to realize that a person does not want to continue communication and is doing everything to avoid contact, even though previously it was possible to spend time together and receive exciting emotions. Unfortunately, not all stories have a happy ending, because life is far from a fairy tale.
READ How to win a girl away and is it worth taking her away from another guy
Before you cut ties, it's best to consider whether it's worth it. Perhaps it’s not too late to fix everything, find a compromise and at least occasionally maintain communication.
How to properly ignore: final points
For ignoring to work, you must be able to go to the end, and you must have something to pull on
- I hope you have already understood this. Therefore, in order to understand how to ignore a girl, you must decide on the following:
- Is your value great enough for the person you are going to manipulate?
- Are you ready to go to the end in a specific situation, to bring your threats to life?
- Your actions are motivated simply by resentment or is it an attempt to correct her serious mistake, to punish her for something.
- What should the result be, and where are you ready to stop?
The last point is one of the most important, because in some situations her apology is enough, but most often you need your partner to do something for you as you want it, and to continue to do so. And words alone are clearly not enough here, otherwise she may simply deceive you and begin to manipulate you herself. If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.
After a quarrel
People begin to ignore a girl or guy in cases where a scandal has occurred and the relationship has collapsed forever. If your significant other has done terrible things, you should try to understand and put yourself in the place of the guilty person. Even if it is impossible to maintain at least some kind of relationship after something like this, you should not harbor anger and resentment until the end of your days, because this will not lead to anything good. Everything comes back like a boomerang, you need to be able to forgive and then they will be able to forgive you too. After the breakup
The breakdown of relationships occurs not only due to infidelity and numerous quarrels. Sometimes relationships begin spontaneously and quickly, which can, after a short period of time, lead to the question of how to start ignoring a girl. To make a person fall in love with you, you can resort to different methods, all methods are good, but you need to break up carefully. It’s better to do this delicately and not spoil your opinion of yourself even more.
READ How many roses can you give a girl: choosing the color and number of flowers
In principle, the path of ignoring in this matter cannot be correct. It is much better to simply talk to the person and try to explain to him that a mistake was made. In order not to aggravate the situation, it is better to break up immediately before it goes too far.
Of course, you need to forgive, but there are situations when the line is crossed and you need to immediately burn all bridges. People can cross all acceptable boundaries and take advantage of those who love them, even if a person is ready to do everything for his chosen one free of charge. The hardest thing for guys is trying to figure out how to ignore the girl they love. For most of them, a friend is a loved one, for whose sake they are ready to go to any lengths.
However, when that very line has already been crossed, you need to act. You shouldn’t delay everything until marriage and children, because then breaking off the relationship will be even more difficult and painful. Not only the spouses will suffer, but also the child, whose psyche is already very vulnerable. Such a blow can forever leave a bleeding wound in the baby’s heart.
Features of ignoring
In order for the reception to have the desired effect, important points should be taken into account:
- Comparable conditions. When a guy gives an ultimatum to a woman, he must take into account that the concessions are not more important than himself. That is, the things he asks her to do did not turn out to be too significant for her. Pick-up artists advise using the principle of habituation: first start manipulating with small requests, and when she gets used to giving in on small things and demanding big things, she will do it out of habit.
- Bring the game to the end. When the guy went on the warpath and began to ignore the girl, he must bring the matter to the end until she writes and gives up. Start psychological influence only if you are sure that you yourself will not give in. If you stop ignoring ahead of time, you will look like an offended child. Then you will need to apologize and bend over to the girl.
- Right time. You can ignore it only after a really strong joint from your companion. If a man turns on his detachment after every minor quarrel, then the woman will begin to perceive his behavior as a character trait, touchiness, and not a call to action. This technique is used in rare cases and works for sure.
- “Closer - further” technique. The ignoring model is based on uncertainty. A marketing ploy is used here in which a girl, having met a guy, wants to continue communication, but he is unavailable. She becomes interested and begins to be attracted to him. Women tend to reward men with qualities that they do not possess, and then fall in love with a fictitious image, so you should definitely ignore the girl you like.
READ
How to survive a breakup with your girlfriend: ways to get rid of mental pain
How to properly ignore a girl
Under any circumstances, there is no need to offend a person and try to tell him the most offensive words that you can think of. It’s better to do everything loyally and delicately. If a guy thinks about how to properly ignore a girl, then he is most likely a good person who does not want to hurt others. This is especially true if he decided to make a girl fall in love with him when she was in a relationship. This is an ugly act, and it will be difficult for your ex-other half after the breakup. You need to understand this. Simply by putting yourself in her shoes, you can understand what words are best to say and what should not be said.
Methods and features of displaying ignorance
There are different ways to ignore the girl you like, depending on the goal that the guy sets for himself. Ignoring is a harsh technique; it has a sobering effect on your partner. The man’s non-standard behavior makes you wonder what has changed in the relationship, why he doesn’t call, and where he’s gone. Detachment manifests itself in various ways: leaving or the prospect of leaving, hanging up, calls and SMS without answer, playing the silent game.
READ
How to break up with a girl beautifully and without scandals: effective ways
How to protect yourself from an abuser
There are situations when a girl herself will not write again, but demands royal treatment. She can use a person who loves her and at the same time feel comfortable, without succumbing to remorse, which, apparently, does not exist. A woman who behaves this way should not be ignored, but driven as far as possible. In this scenario, you need to express everything to her face or exclude what she, in the guy’s opinion, is keeping him with her for. When his guesses are correct, she herself will not write again. If he was wrong, then the relationship will be saved and a terrible mistake will be prevented. How to stand up for yourself
Sometimes everything reaches the point of absurdity, a representative of the fair sex behaves so horribly that the guy even likes to ignore her, because now there is no person in his life who regularly gives him reasons to become depressed.
Girls are different, you shouldn’t equate them all with nice ladies leading a righteous lifestyle. Some young ladies cause so much pain that after such “happiness” a person does not really want to live.
In order not to bring the situation to absurd conclusions, it is better to stand up for yourself in time and break off the relationship. You shouldn’t do this by causing scandals and hysterics, you need to talk calmly, explain the reasons why such a decision was made, and part ways with the world. After this, the guy will unconsciously wonder whether it is worth pursuing such a girl or whether it is better to find a better candidate.
READ Seducing a married woman: secrets and methods
How not to go too far
Before you ignore the girl you love, make sure you get what you want. To do this, all the conditions for ignoring must be met: communication between partners, reality and timeliness of requirements.
There is a high probability that the man may get carried away with the distance, and the girl will cool down, so you need to control the lady’s attempts to renew communication so that she does not stop making them. As soon as you notice that her persecution has decreased, stop ignoring her and return to play the game according to your own rules.
When a man ignores a girl with whom he has a close relationship, it is important not to cross the line so that the actions do not escalate into sadism.
Tips and warnings
You shouldn’t cut your teeth; it’s better to approach the problem carefully. There is no need to say that the person with whom you had to share a bed for a long time ruined your life and brought only troubles and disappointments. Your partner is a voluntary choice; your future soul mate does not hit on the first person you meet on the street and does not beg him to go on a date with her.
Whatever happens, it is better to forgive. The ability to forgive is the main human skill. Revenge is the worst thing you can resort to. After a breakup, you don’t need to go back to work or completely abandon your personal life; you should try to come to your senses and continue to develop, move along your own path. To achieve material goals, a person is capable of resorting to vile and base actions, including breaking off relationships. If it occurs to you to take this path, then it is important to remember that even all the money in the world cannot replace heaven.
“Sometimes it can work”i
It's worth starting with the most encouraging answer - sometimes it can actually work. But for this you need to really try. The girls themselves don’t really like being ignored. Some people find this quite annoying. But if a man can find a middle ground, then he may be able to attract the right girl.
What is this “middle”? He must be friendly and sociable towards her, but he also needs to pretend that he does not notice or does not understand her possible sympathy for him. If a girl is not indifferent to him, then she will try to express her feelings more clearly and openly so that he “finally gets it.”
Opinion of one of the survey participants: “It often happens that guys simply don’t see what girls feel for them. This pushes us to take initiative and openly confess our feelings. What else to do if the guy doesn’t see that the girl has sympathy for him? Although it is worth recognizing that some of them do this on purpose.
They deliberately behave as if they do not understand hints, so that the girl behaves more openly and takes steps towards her. This is a rather tricky move that not every man can pull off. The funny thing is that if he succeeds, no one will understand that it was a trick.”
“The less we love a woman”... Is ignoring the best way to make a woman fall in love with you?
I remember in my youth I liked one boy. We knew each other casually, “hello, hello”, nothing more. And so, in order to somehow attract attention to myself, I made it a habit to walk the dog in his yard. And to the yard there were seven miles and three detours. But I stubbornly hung out on the spot next to his entrance. Sometimes we met and talked. And then he accidentally liked me. And it was his turn to run.
But he, unlike me, did not walk his dog in my yard, although he had a dog. But he simply lay in wait for me and laid out the whole truth in my face. What about me? Are you happy? No matter how it is. I got upset and started avoiding him. The goal was achieved quickly, and the struggle lost all meaning for me.
It turns out that the hunting instinct is developed not only in men. A guy shouldn’t rush to show his affection to a girl, that’s a fact. Women are capricious, and the words “Where have you gone?” to “You got me!” maybe one call.
But these are just flowers. Over time, a woman learns to distinguish who is in front of her: a talker or a man of action. It becomes more difficult to remove her earrings and hang noodles in their place. And by the age of 35, weapons such as ignore increasingly misfire. A woman prefers not to waste time on mind games; they are of no interest to her. An emotionally mature person is in no hurry to please someone, her own spiritual comfort comes to the fore, she begins to think about who she likes first of all.
Contrary to the popular belief that a woman loves with her ears, most growing young ladies who know their worth will not be seduced by just anyone. Even if this anyhow will be the most lively nightingale in their environment. They are drawn to those men who are not distinguished by eloquence. They say about such people: “a man of action.”
One of my friends did not spoil me with attention, he was always busy. I experienced an information hunger, considered myself abandoned, and was offended by him. At first...
Photo: Depositphotos
Everything developed in an amazing way: we didn’t see each other very often, but as soon as I needed some help or advice, this person appeared out of nowhere and solved all my problems like a magician. All that was required was to clearly formulate the request. And I realized that this is exactly how character manifests itself - real, masculine, in which the desire to care and the thirst for freedom are incredibly combined. A real man doesn't talk about problems, he solves them. He doesn't need a woman's help.
Sometimes that person consulted with me, but did not soar his brain with philosophical discussions about the meaning of life and existence, whining, complaints, torment of choice, grievances and other sourness. I managed it myself. I tried to do the same to the best of my ability. We simply respected each other and took care of each other as best we could. Calm trust turned out to be much more important than brave oohs and sighs, and even more so behind the scenes games aimed at throwing dust in each other’s eyes.
But this is not the end of the transformation of women’s perception of men. With experience, a woman not only becomes selective, she already clearly understands not only who is in front of her, but also what made him what he is. Indeed, sometimes it is enough to look at a boy to understand what kind of man he will grow up to be. And only a small part of women, especially emotional ones, stuck in their youth, are still being ostentatiously ignored, playing these childish games, flickering, hysterical and fussing...
Photo: Depositphotos
Years later, while reading books to children, I discovered that fairy tales, both folk and original, contain such a deep philosophy of life that if we had understood it earlier, we would not have lived this way.
Just look at the story of the transformation of the brownie Kuzka into Babenysh-Yagenysh. It seems to me that all women, expectant mothers especially, should read this story.
The point is, if you want to make a rag out of a guy, do everything for him, sweep and strew his life path with lilies, protect him from the blowing wind, comfort and pity him, taking on all the dirty work, nurture his pride, rush to do everything desires, apologize, justify and protect him, even when he, as they say, wipes his feet on you.
Then he will completely lose his will. But he will always be with you - like hand luggage, because he will no longer find such fools as you. But if, despite all your efforts, he remains a man at heart, he will run away from you to the first person he meets who reminds him of this.
So what does Pushkin have to do with it?
Moreover, ignoring a woman attracts a man and fuels her interest in him only at a young age. But independence in life, independence, including from the woman herself, reliability, firmness and strength of character, can make a woman of any age remember you all her life, regardless of whether you need it or not.
To understand this, a woman needs to grow up herself, not get stuck in adolescence, not feed on illusions until the end of her days, attributing such priceless human qualities to ordinary egoists and people who don’t care. Which, in fact, is Onegin, for which he was solemnly sent to the depot by the matured Tatyana.
E. Samokish-Sudkovskaya, illustration for the publication “Eugene Onegin”, 1908. Photo: ru.wikipedia.org
What else to read on the topic?
"The Misunderstood Sufferer." Do you need it, ladies? Single woman wants to meet? After the dating site he no longer wants to! Who needs the myth that men are polygamous creatures? An illiterate excuse and its exposure
Tags: woman, psychology of relationships, relationships in couples, feelings, man and woman, love
How to fight?
Methods of dealing with manipulation are somewhat different for women and men .
This is due to the characteristic personality traits and standard reactions of different sexes to the same circumstances. To resist provocation, it is enough for a man to take the blame for what has happened recently. A visit with a gift and a prepared speech will not be amiss.
In the conversation, it should be noted what feelings the guy experienced while the girl did not get in touch, why he intends to continue the relationship and what he is ready to do for this.
Winning a man's attention is not so easy. Flowers or sweets, tears, and especially hysterics are inappropriate here. One of the most effective ways to combat ignorance is to respond. Out of surprise, the man will probably reconsider his position and attitude towards his beloved, and change his tactics of behavior.
How to behave correctly with a girl? — Instructions
Now I will share with you simple but very effective recommendations that will help you communicate with girls. So, let's begin.
1) Lead from a position on top
The most important rule in communicating with a woman is to be a leader. Women are drawn to strong men on an instinctive level. You have to make decisions and take responsibility. Decide where you will go on your first date, how you will spend time together, what movie you will watch and what seats to choose in the cinema - all this is your responsibility. A woman’s task is simply to come, and you are in complete control of the process.
If you come to a cafe, then do not ask the girl which table she would like to sit at. Make the decision yourself, without consulting her, and then take her hand and lead her to the right place. You are the leader, and she is the follower.
Also, behavior from above does not imply any complaints on your part. Never say that something is going wrong with you. The mistake most guys make is telling girls about their problems. As soon as you tell her about your hardships in life, you will most likely be assigned to the friend zone.
2) Don’t cancel things for her sake
Women adore men who are ambitious in life. You must have goals that come first for you. You will not cancel your tasks and affairs for the sake of meeting a girl. Ladies really feel when a man is ready to drop everything for them and come running at the first call. And as soon as this happens, the girl immediately loses interest.
Stay busy. Work, study, pursue your hobbies and don't forget to make time for women. With this approach, they will love you. A guy who is busy and strives for goals is who they want next to them.
3) Respect her personal space
It doesn’t matter whether you are in a relationship or you are just flirting, a girl should always have her own personal space. What does it mean? Many young men make a mistake; they begin to control the girl and violate her comfort zone.
Let me give you an example. One of my friends told me that she had a couple of dates with a guy, and after that he wrote the following to her on Instagram: Why do you have so many comments from other men under your photo? And why are you answering them?
He invaded her personal space and conducted a mini-interrogation. Of course, he immediately pushed her away with this behavior.
Another very common mistake guys make when dating a girl. They begin to control where and with whom his chosen one went. For example, she said that she went with her friends to a cafe, and he checks if this is true and asks him to send a photo as a sign of confirmation. If a man behaves this way, then the issue of betrayal or breakup is a matter of time.
Remember: A girl is a free person. Regardless of whether she is in a relationship with you or not. She can do whatever she wants. All people are free. Restriction of freedom is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship.
Men who do not limit the freedom of girls and respect their personal space do not leave. They want to be with them and they are respected, because such behavior demonstrates strength and provides the girl with mental comfort.
4) Mirror her behavior
If a girl starts behaving badly towards you (gives you a minus), then answer her in kind (give you a minus in return). For example, she said something rude to you, immediately reprimand her and tell her that such communication with you is unacceptable. If everything repeats itself, then you leave. For any of her tricks, give a negative assessment of her behavior.
If a girl behaves correctly and coolly with you, then don’t give her negativity. He will only distance her from you. This is also a very common mistake when a girl is inclined to communicate, and a guy begins to tease her or drive her into an evaluative frame. This cannot be done. It turns out that you are punishing her for correct behavior.
You only need to throw a girl into an evaluation frame and give her a minus when she behaves incorrectly. This is how you protect your personal boundaries.
5) Don't try to please
The mistake many guys make is trying to please a girl. From the first dates, they begin to give her gifts, court her and try in every possible way to evoke positive emotions. As a rule, this rarely ends well. Such a guy immediately becomes available to the girl and she decides how the future relationship will develop, the choice is hers.
But for your communication with women to be effective, you must choose. Don’t go into a meeting with the thought: “How can I please her or surprise her.” You should think like this: “I need to understand whether I like her or not, what is there in her that will hook me.”
And now you go to choose and evaluate the lady. And this is a completely different approach and different behavior. Behave naturally and don’t try to surprise or please her.
You should also have a choice. If this is the first and only girl who agreed to go on a date with you, then of course her importance to you will be off the charts. And if you have 10 different options, then you won’t overestimate the importance of one. After all, you have 10! In order for you to choose, you need to learn how to meet people in person and overcome the fear of approaching, but this is a separate topic for discussion.
How to survive such an attitude?
If it doesn’t seem reasonable to continue interacting with your partner or you simply don’t want to tolerate such an attitude towards yourself, it’s important to find effective ways to relax and distract yourself in time . It is important that the chosen method not only allows you to survive resentment and anger, but also be interesting and truly captivating.
As a rule, men prefer to get rid of negative emotions through alcohol or promiscuity. However, this behavior model does not give the expected result. Feelings of resentment and injustice return with renewed vigor after the effects of alcohol wear off.
To distract yourself from sad thoughts, you should:
- immerse yourself in work;
- take care of your physical fitness;
- try yourself in a new sport;
- go on a trip.
New experiences on a regular basis will help you throw out negative emotions and recharge yourself with positivity.
Emotional representatives of the fair sex find it more difficult than men to come to terms with lack of attention. Attempts to establish contact, throwing tantrums, threats are destructive ways to combat depression.
The best ways to increase self-esteem and get rid of anxiety:
- change style;
- to have a pet;
- update the interior;
- get creative.
These are the most effective and simple methods for overcoming stress that will help you quickly return to normal life.
