Ideas for punishing a man: 7 great ways and a couple of funny ones

How to punish a guy for an offense: Pixabay How can a woman punish a man for an offense and should she do it? Resentment poisons life, can develop into embitterment and even manifest itself on a physical or psychological level. Experienced relationship experts explain the do's and don'ts of developing a revenge plan.

What is the difference between punishment and revenge

The desire to establish justice should not cloud a girl’s eyes. You need to act cunningly and not confuse punishment with revenge. What's the difference between them?

The purpose of punishment is to teach a lesson, to reason, using gentle methods of influence. Not to harm, but to push to awareness and making the right decision through self-analysis. The person punishing does not receive pleasure from this process, but experiences a feeling of satisfaction when the punishment fulfills its direct function.

Revenge involves causing harm (physical, moral) to the offender, in response to a previously committed injustice. The goal here is revenge for the sake of revenge: to hurt, humiliate, hurt. Revenge is considered the prerogative of people with sadistic tendencies, and they are condemned in society.

Even if the goal was righteous at the beginning, in the process there is a great temptation to turn one into another. This cannot be allowed, because a harmonious union is at stake.

Constructive strategies for punishing a man for an offense

Family psychologist, writer, coach Yana Kataeva explains that women often seek revenge not because they cannot survive negative emotions, but because they want to convey to their partner how much he is to blame and what pain he has caused. Often a calm, frank conversation helps to solve the problem, in which the partner explains what exactly offends her.

If the mental pain is great, it is impossible to solve the problem in a constructive dialogue, then how to punish the guy for the offense so that he understands the mistake? It is necessary to carefully consider the situation, develop a plan for revenge and evaluate all possible consequences.

Initially, think about what the purpose of the punishment is and what you want to get as a result. For example, you need to ensure that your beloved:

did not cause offense in the future by actions or words;
corrected the situation and did something positive and good for the woman;
felt how much I had offended;
experienced the same or stronger negative emotions. Then the woman will receive moral compensation.

What to do and how to punish a man if a woman does not want to worsen or completely destroy the relationship?

Should a guy be punished for being offended: Pixabay

Candidate of Psychological Sciences Nadezhda Mayer offers several methods of influencing a partner.

Deprivation of comfort

If you decide to fight back the offender:

Clearly identify and voice to the man the problem that causes offense.
Explain that if he does not want to meet you halfway, then you do not want to try for him. Therefore, from now on, he will have to solve all everyday issues on his own.
Stop preparing food for him, washing, ironing and performing other housewife functions. Do it solely for yourself.
Remain calm when a man becomes indignant. Explain to him clearly why this is happening. There is no need to make value judgments, use I-messages. The man will understand everything, apologize and meet you halfway.

Minus control

Stop being interested in a man’s life, don’t ask about his movements and plans. Enjoy your own leisure time. For example, go on a weekend with a group of people to barbecue or with friends to the spa:

Take some bright, cheerful photos and post them on social networks.
Turn off your phone for the entire weekend.
On the way home, turn on your communication device and calmly answer the call. Tell him how you had a great time and relax with friends, and hope that his weekend was great too.

What to do after being taught a lesson

When the husband has done a mischief, what should the wife do?

Save face, pretend that everything is fine. He must not understand that the punishment was cunningly planned.
If your spouse starts to get nervous (and he inevitably will), smile and act casual
When the guy reaches the holy truth, for the sake of which everything was started, gently scold him and hug him as a consolation.

Of course, all this should be taken with humor and not lead to a real quarrel.

Of course, a wife is not a mother to punish her husband like a schoolboy. Instead of punishments, it is better to just talk and explain to your spouse why he hurt you so much. Conversation is sometimes more effective in strengthening relationships than any punitive actions.

Punishment for a guy: what you can and cannot do

When a woman is humiliated, betrayed or deceived, she experiences a feeling of confusion, despair, resentment, and psychological breakdown. A sense of justice is inherent in man by nature, and the instinct of self-defense prompts him to resort to revenge in order to get rid of the feeling of humiliation.

When you can't do without punishment

Before deciding whether to punish a man, understand the nature of your offense. The reasons can be imaginary (far-fetched) and real. For example, should you consider that you were underestimated and be offended if you were given a bouquet rather than a basket of roses? Of course, every girl expects crazy actions and grand gestures from her partner, but these are only her expectations.

The nature of such resentment was explained by the famous psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky. He claims that this is actually self-deception, a contrived reason. So is it worth taking revenge if your expectations do not coincide with reality? Probably not. To avoid disappointment and spoil your relationship with petty grievances, voice your intentions, expectations and needs to your partner.

However, there are situations in which resentment is justified. Writer, coach, psychologist Lev Vozhevatov determines what offenses a man cannot be forgiven:

assault;
withdrawal from solving the problems of your loved one;
wasting your partner’s finances on another woman;
open and even demonstrative relationships with other ladies;
alcoholism, drug addiction.

What to do if these factors gave rise to deep resentment? Should I swallow the bitterness and come to terms with it or take revenge and punish my partner? In this case, exercise discretion:

If thoughts of revenge come after a conversation with a friend, mother or sister, the desire to teach a man a lesson comes up only occasionally, give up revenge.
When the offense does not go away, causes moral pain and prevents you from sleeping peacefully, it is advisable to punish the offender.

Candidate of psychological sciences, writer Nadezhda Mayer says that resentment cannot be hushed up. Unexpressed dissatisfaction has a destructive effect on both partners and can lead to a deterioration in the relationship, a cooling of feelings, and even a complete breakup.

When forgiveness occurs only externally, but deep down the resentment remains, it torments the woman and turns into poison, which destroys not only her personality, but also everything around her. The lady becomes sarcastic, cold, and distant, which negatively affects the relationship. If a woman cannot sincerely forgive a man in her heart, the offense cannot be ignored.

What an offended woman should not do

Do you want to save your relationship? Psychologist, art therapist Alla Demidenko writes that in such a situation the most destructive and incorrect attitude is “I will never forgive him!” If the partner realizes the mistake and understands the guilt, then satisfaction is received, the woman’s personal boundaries are restored and there is no longer any point in being offended.

The famous psychologist Anna Iotko believes that one should not hush up an insult and wait for a man to guess what exactly caused her mental pain. When a woman is silent or only hints at her partner that she is offended, the relationship becomes toxic. In 90% of cases, the man does not understand the hints and has no idea what exactly is bothering his beloved, so he believes that she is “training” him.

Psychologist, writer, coach Alla Folsom says that to punish a man you cannot:

prove him wrong, teach him about life;
manipulate and control;
suspect, violate personal boundaries;
show aggression.

Psychotherapist and crisis consultant Evgeniy Maseev says that it is absolutely forbidden to punish a guy with silence and ignoring him. Such psychological manipulation does not solve the problem, but makes the partner feel insignificance and acute emotional loneliness, and feel that he has been abandoned.

If such manipulation enters the life of a couple, the man loses self-esteem, motivation, and becomes depressed. As a result, both partners become unhappy and break up.

Psychologist and NLP master Valeria Lepet says that a woman should not punish a man with a ban on intimacy. Excluding sex will negatively affect his physical health, which in the future will boomerang on the woman herself.

This method leads the couple to a destructive, manipulative relationship in which both partners are in a negative emotional environment. Valeria says that male infidelity occurs precisely in those couples in which the lady manipulates her partner through sex.

Don't give an ultimatum if you're not going to stick to it.

Sometimes a man can do very bad things: insult or even raise his hand. And, of course, you can tell him that you are not going to maintain a relationship with him if he continues to behave this way. BUT! If you said this, you must carry out your threat exactly. If you say that you will stop communicating for unworthy behavior, and do not stop it, then you show the man that he can do anything.

It is important to remember that neither manipulation nor blackmail will help you change a man’s behavior, but will only destroy the relationship. For every unworthy act, you need to give the same reaction of non-acceptance and not condone from time to time, this is the only way to achieve mutual understanding.

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List of dirty questions for guys

When asking vulgar and personal questions to a guy with a trick, consider the degree of intimacy and emancipation, and what nuances interest you.

Does he have sexual experience? Men talk about this topic with pleasure and passion. The number of girls is directly proportional to a man's pride. The larger the number, the higher he is in his eyes. Dreamers are easily identified by their overly vivid stories.

What size is his dignity? You can’t speed up much here, but suddenly he’ll check. But throwing on a centimeter or two is not prohibited.

Questions about hygiene: He often changes his underwear or bathes. Many Don Juans are not scrupulous about this, and who will admit it?

Does he shave his pubic area? It depends on the regularity of sex. Or preference for naturalness.

Does he watch explicit films between men and women and how often? There are more lovers of self-satisfaction and explicit cinema than it seems. But only an honest and frank guy admits to addiction.

He would have engaged in intimate threesome relationships. Certainly! He's a polygamous male!

If the topic of intimacy is open, then it is permissible to ask in a varied and inventive way: in what positions, how many times, mature or young, etc.

Other methods

A pleasant “punishment”: when your lover is at a great distance, you can send him intimate photos or an audio recording with ambiguous languid sighs over the Internet, have heated conversations on Skype or have sex on the phone.

As a punishment for smoking or other minor missteps, a message from an unknown number or sent from the Internet, about writing off a large amount of money from his credit or other bank card account, is suitable. After a few hours, you need to admit that this SMS was a joke, but this amount must be paid as compensation for the act committed.