How to regain trust in the family

Hi all. Today I'm in a playful mood, so catch it!

I hope everything is going well: you’re not tired of envious colleagues at work who always poke their noses into your personal life, you’re not tired of stupid quarrels with your husband over the fact that he again didn’t notice the perfectly tidy apartment and the luxurious dinner on the table, and of course , you don’t really want to hide away from children who cry every now and then, begging for a new toy (it doesn’t matter - a Barbie doll or a new Playstation), you don’t get tired, you have to be happy with life 24/7, otherwise everything you have will collapse I built it with such painstaking work! Do you think so?

The most common reasons for loss of trust in a family

A relationship without trust is always torture for both. And I don’t want to lose my dear half (after all, we’ve gone through and experienced so much together!), and... there’s no more strength to pretend that everything is fine. Running away is always easier, but it’s still worth at least trying to restore trust in the relationship. The main thing is to identify the causes of the “disease” and correctly prescribe the “treatment”. The main reasons for loss of trust:

Treason. It cuts down trust at the roots - immediately and, as a rule, irrevocably. Even if both pretend that nothing happened, sooner or later this painful memory box will still open. Not to mention that one half will constantly doubt the other - is it really at work, or maybe again somewhere with someone, or maybe not from work, that they call him (her) in the evenings?
Jealousy. Green monster, destroyer of any relationship. And the main indicator is that it’s time to change something in the family. Jealousy is a 100% indicator that there is no trust in your partner. Jealousy, like a worm, gnaws out a feeling from within to the very foundation, if you don’t stop in time and think about it - is there any point in being jealous? And who gets better from this?
Lie. Big, small, in understatements or hidden facts, insignificant and frequent, or rare and monstrous. A lie undermines trust on the second try (the first is usually forgiven and swallowed).
Inconsistency between words and actions. Even the warmest words about love cease to matter if your actions show indifference and neglect of your partner. If such behavior is not a temporary crisis period with certain reasons, but true indifference, then sooner or later trust, and after it the relationship, will come to an end.
The lack of trust is still in the candy-bouquet period. That is, an illusion of trust at the initial stage, but in reality it is either a fateful meeting of two chronic “goulins”, or a feeling that has not been reborn into true love.
Unjustified expectations. When they promise the moon from the sky and “your whole life in your hands,” but in fact they live like neighbors in a dorm.

It is extremely difficult to regain trust in a relationship. But if you really want to and have patience, you can give the relationship a second life.

Stop!

You are a woman, not a robot, you have the right to emotions and if you think that everything is going wrong, it’s time to start working on it! Not happy with your relationship with your husband? It's time to make adjustments. He probably already forgot how he ran after you at the very beginning of the relationship. You forgot, right?

Years have passed, now your husband knows for sure that you are not going anywhere and it makes no difference whether he notices new underwear from Vasya Italiano or equates it to the shapeless nightie that you wore after giving birth.

- What am I supposed to do? – You ask.

Read my article, that's what! I was also in the same situation!

As you may have guessed, today we will talk about how to refresh your relationship with your husband.

First, let's figure it out, how was it before? Remember. If your husband initially didn’t pay attention and didn’t really help, and you got married solely because of a child or your first short-term love, then expecting everything to change is a little wrong. But you can try. Who will stop us? The situation looks completely different when a few years earlier your husband carried you in his arms and kissed your feet, and now he has suddenly grown cold. If this is the case, my advice will certainly help.

The main mistakes when trying to restore trust in a family - don’t make them!

Attempts to regain the trust of a partner are different for everyone - depending on the situation and the strength of the feeling (if it remains). The main thing here is to carefully analyze what happened:

What could undermine your partner's trust in you?
Do you still have the same feelings for him?
Are you afraid of losing your soul mate or can you cope without her?
Are you ready to conquer it again?
What has changed in you from the moment when your partner trusted you completely and completely?
How exactly do you understand the word “trust”?

If you realize that you can’t do without your partner and are ready to start from scratch, avoid the most common mistakes:

Don't blame your partner for losing trust. Trust – it requires the participation of two. And the blame, accordingly, falls equally on both.
Any accusations are a road to nowhere. It is impossible to regain trust by throwing reproaches. Start creating, and don’t continue the path of family destruction.
Don't try to buy your partner's trust. No amount of gifts or travel can cover up the feeling that a “black hole” has formed in your family (in this case, we are not talking about relationships of convenience).
Don't be obsessive in your quest to "atone." If you cheated on your partner, and now you circle around him like a bee, bring coffee to bed and bake kulebyak every evening, looking ingratiatingly into the eyes “Have you already forgiven me or still have coffee with kulebyak?”, it is unlikely that they will reciprocate your feelings. In the best case, your royal-looking partner will graciously accept your “gifts.” But after that there will still be a climax with a showdown. They simply won’t believe in the sincerity of your concern after you’ve run away for a long time, slamming the door, grinding your teeth, or defiantly going to spend the night with your mother. Insincerity at such a moment will be especially acutely felt.
Enough words! Swearing and beating yourself in the chest with your heel “yes, without you…” is pointless. If they don't trust you, they won't believe you.
Don't be humiliated. Crawling on your knees and begging for forgiveness also makes no sense. You will fall even further in your partner's eyes.
Don’t even think about asking friends and relatives to have a “heart-to-heart talk” with your partner. The partner's pride will not stand it. Everything that happens in the family should stay in the family.
It is strictly forbidden to use children for these purposes. Manipulate your partner using the “think about the children!” method. or persuading children to influence their dad - this is the worst option.

Help from professionals, or not just the work of lawyers

So, the birthday is coming and you have met again. Don’t rush to move to a new level, remember yourself in the romantic period for the first time, “bring out” the best of the best from it. Let the relationship develop gradually, enjoying every meeting, every moment and plans for the future.

And these plans may include... a second wedding! No, you shouldn’t smile, because this is a completely understandable desire. However, what is better to do: just sign again or start the procedure for restoring a previously broken marriage? Here, each couple should decide this issue independently, but if there is no information, it is better to seek advice from an experienced lawyer. He will give complete information on the issue - and you will make a decision!

But a lawyer is not the only specialist who can help yesterday’s family recover. Practical help from a psychologist will really help make new relationships bright, interesting, and strong. And this is all for decades!

Romantic letter to your loved one

The epistolary genre is experiencing a crisis today, but this should not worry you. Just put a note in your pocket declaring your love.

Or you can write a love letter from an unknown mailbox. Let it be passionate and tender, but in such a way that it is difficult to guess who it is from. This will turn you on. And in the middle of the letter you can describe those details of the relationship that only you know. A declaration of love from the wife with whom you have lived together for so many years? It turns you on!

Important! Such surprises need to be made regularly, otherwise your husband may unreasonably suspect you of something bad, or will simply be puzzled.

Love notes

Little cute notes will help make the spouses’ relationship a little brighter. Such a display of tenderness will make even the most serious man smile. Having seen a note in the morning with the inscription “Darling, you are the best.” I love you incredibly much,” the man will spend the whole day in a good romantic mood. How nice will it be for a woman to see a note that says that she is the most beautiful and desirable?! The power of love notes cannot be underestimated and they are a great way to bring romance into a marital relationship.

Tip #3: Create a shared story

As a couple, it is important to have shared memories, funny incidents and experiences that concern only the two of you.

A common story is when, with one word, you remind your spouse of some interesting, pleasant or funny incident. You both laugh, remember details and become even closer to each other, because you will not experience such emotions with anyone else.

On any trip, take general photographs and record as many pleasant moments as possible.

When things get cold in a relationship, look through photo albums and remember the happiest periods of your life. Such memories can melt the ice and return tenderness and awe to relationships.

Tip #5: Do stupid things

Couples who constantly try something new, extraordinary and stupid remain interesting to each other much longer. Stability and planning are good. But at least occasionally you need to add drive to the relationship by doing spontaneous things together. Behave childishly and do little stupid things:

send each other funny pictures with funny captions by email,
joke with each other - only good irony is welcome, not evil sarcasm,
organize a family competition to eat your favorite dishes at speed,
go on an unplanned trip to another city and spend time walking, holding hands,
go to the beach at night and swim naked in the sea,
put together a puzzle, play Twister or Monopoly - during the game you will become closer and have a lot of fun.

Tip #11: Kiss more often

A kiss is a shot of adrenaline and the easiest way to get closer on a physical and emotional level. Morning kisses charge you with positive energy and guarantee a great mood for the whole day.

Kiss your partner for no reason, showing your interest and passion. Don’t do it automatically and on the run, put your soul and energy into the kiss. Your spouse will certainly feel pleasant sensations during such contact and will not remain indifferent.

Foreplay with long kisses before sex will heighten your senses, increase desire and put you in the right mood.

Tip #14: Trust your partner

Jealousy is another reason for cooling of feelings and discord in family life. Suspicions of infidelity and constant reproaches can destroy even the strongest relationships.

Trust is the key to peace and harmony in the family. If your partner does not give reasons for jealousy, do not deliberately look for them, relax and completely trust your chosen one.

If a woman takes on a leadership role in the family, the man feels uncomfortable and gradually moves away. Let him be at the helm and make his own decisions without doubting their correctness. You will be pleasantly surprised at how your relationship changes if you stop crushing him with reproaches, claims, instructions and constant control.

Reviews

The opinions of those who are faced with the problem of cooling and relationships differ. A number of opponents believe that it is impossible to return to the past , since the reasons for the discord are, as a rule, quite serious. Temporary reconciliation does not last long, then everything comes back. And it comes at the price of mutual concessions and compromises.

There are also those who are sure that if the basis of the relationship was love, everything can be returned. Moreover, not only women, but also men are ready to work in this aspect. As it turns out, they are extremely reluctant to break up. And new relationships outside the couple are found only in order to compensate for the missing moments in the marriage. In their opinion, if a wife tries to become for a man not only the mother of his children, but also a friend and lover, they willingly meet him halfway.

Tip #6: Save positive emotions

Sharing positive emotions is an important component of a happy marriage. If you don't know how to bring love back into a relationship, try filling it with pleasant moments. Get rid of the constant routine, do what improves your mood:

go to the cinema, theater, restaurant or concert of a band that you both like,
spend your day off not cleaning, but watching movies with a cup of tea and delicious desserts,
Organize leisure time together at the SPA center.

Positive emotions should become a habit. Set aside separate time and money to please each other and enjoy life together.

Surprise for your spouse

You can add a note of intrigue to family relationships with the help of an unexpected gift. You can do it absolutely any day, you don’t have to wait for some significant date. For example, you can send an anonymous work gift to your loved one by courier. It doesn't have to be something expensive. You can send a box of chocolates, a cake, a postcard, or even a balloon. Such a surprise will make your loved one wonder all day who could have come up with the idea of making such a gift. And in the evening at home the secret will be revealed.

Tip #9: Turn off your phone

How to bring love back into a relationship? Clearly separate family life from all other areas. You shouldn’t completely give up on personal development, but family relationships should be more important to you than work, social routine and personal hobbies:

do not waste your free time on solving work issues,
give up regular delays at work,
spend your weekends with your family,
do not check social networks and email every 5 minutes,
in the evening after work, don’t sit with your head buried in your phone or tablet - your partner will feel unnecessary and uninteresting.

A romantic dinner with your husband (wife) should not be interrupted by a phone call from your boss demanding that you resolve an urgent work issue.

Work during working hours, leave everything else for your family.

Just change your image

Appear before your husband in an unexpected way. This is banal, but it works, because a man is a collector, and even if the marriage is happy, he is still interested in other women. So be a different woman. Now he will have a new wife. A new image can be complemented by an unusual action. For example, appear in the image of an oriental beauty and give him a belly dance.