Any addiction has a detrimental effect on a person’s life and personality. And the most dangerous thing is often not tobacco, alcohol or food (we won’t touch on drugs, because this topic is very specific), but dependence on other people. It generates not only a constant need for society, but also a fear of loneliness, the inability to independently solve problems and cope with problems, self-doubt, uncertainty, inability to make decisions, etc.
But it is possible to overcome these and many other problems by developing a special quality in yourself. It's called self-sufficiency, and we want to tell you about how to become a self-sufficient person.
What is self-sufficiency?
Self-sufficiency is a personality quality that manifests itself in the willingness and ability to cope with emerging life circumstances on one’s own.
In simple terms, self-sufficiency is when a person is “enough with himself,” i.e. there is no need for constant interaction with society. In a sense, self-sufficiency resembles responsibility, only in a specific case a person’s responsibility for himself . A self-sufficient person, as a rule, takes care of his own health, is in search of the meaning of life, and strives to achieve his goals.
Self-sufficiency allows a person, if not to enjoy loneliness, then at least not to suffer from it. At the same time, the ability to provide for oneself completely independently allows a person to be in a psychological comfort zone all the time, since he knows that he is able to cope with any problems that arise.
At the same time, self-sufficiency does not imply complete isolation from other people - a person still willingly communicates with others, but he does not feel any need for this, which means he is independent and free.
Why self-sufficient people need to carefully change their lives
Self-sufficient people often have many rules and boundaries. They often feel comfortable alone, then everything is taken care of. The thought of sudden changes leads to panic, because it depends on the circumstances.
A self-sufficient person can make a good family man, but you need to approach changes carefully. Gradually, calmly discuss everything and lay out conditional rules. When a person gets used to changes, they will become part of his self-sufficiency.
The advantage of a self-sufficient person is that such a person can soberly assess the situation around him, understand what is good for him and what is bad. He is not against restructuring his usual way of life. Often he cannot adapt quickly, but he is ready for many changes. Without disputes, scandals, trials. But simply through the understanding that it is useful and necessary.
Examples of self-sufficiency
For a more complete understanding of the concept of “self-sufficiency”, let’s look at its manifestation using the examples of a man and a woman:
A self-sufficient man , as a rule, does not stand out from the rest, because... he is characterized by restraint, modesty, and the absence of the need to flaunt his achievements. He is confident, calm, and taciturn. Does not feel the need for small talk that does not have any benefit. As a rule, he makes good money by using his strengths to increase his income. He can defend his point of view, but will not argue until he is blue in the face, because he does not need to prove anything to anyone.
A self-sufficient woman is not subject to modern stereotypes that “a woman’s place is in the kitchen.” Strives for independence, develops in the chosen direction, can build a career or his own business. He has adequate self-esteem and does not hide his age, taking it for granted. He builds a family and has children only out of inner desire and readiness, and not because “it’s necessary.” Does not spread gossip, does not waste a lot of time on useless chatter, preferring to fill this time with something useful.
My recommendations
A sense of self-sufficiency today is equated with social maturity. It’s difficult to argue with this, because every adult should be able to earn a living, take care of himself, and have his own opinion on this or that issue.
But in my opinion, any personality trait looks organic in the general psychological construct only if it does not dominate the others. A person’s acquisition of a certain level of self-sufficiency is a natural result of growing up and psychological maturity.
Everything needs balance. Nature intended it so that the masculine and feminine principles find balance only by uniting into one whole - into a family. A woman’s economic self-sufficiency oppresses a man. He does not see the possibility of using his abilities and physical strength. At the same time, a man’s independence in everyday life replaces his need for care and affection from a woman. So, in my opinion, self-sufficiency in the everyday life of one of the partners will sooner or later lead to the destruction of the union between a man and a woman.
In addition, excessive self-sufficiency can lead to social isolation of the individual, which will create conditions for the development of addictive behavior.
Types of self-sufficiency
From a psychological point of view, there are three levels of self-sufficiency:
1. Social
It is achieved at the moment when a person is able to adapt to the existing requirements of society, as well as fully comply with them. Here a person finds an interesting niche for himself in which he develops, which allows him to occupy a worthy position in society, fully satisfy his own social needs, and also provide for his life financially. Over time, a person begins to occupy a higher and higher social position, which opens up more opportunities for him.
2. Psychological
A person's independence from other people. It manifests itself in the fact that a person does not experience problems being alone, he is self-sufficient, he is interested in himself, because he knows how to occupy his own time. This also allows you to deal with the most difficult moments in life, when a person is forced to remain alone.
3. Household
Household self-sufficiency is a person’s ability to fully provide for everyday life. This involves solving many problems and tasks that arise in everyday life: from cooking to cleaning.
Content
- About the term
- Characteristics
- Be near
- Why is it beneficial to be a self-sufficient man?
Greetings, my dear readers! Today we will talk about men. About those men with whom we women want to be close, who pull us towards them like a magnet. You probably already guessed which man our conversation will be about? About someone who is comfortable to be around, but not boring. This is the kind of person in whom you can feel the core, but he does not hurt, he respects the feelings of others. Of course, we will talk about self-sufficiency. Many people talk about it, but they have a vague idea of what it is.
A self-sufficient man is a dream for many women. But why, they often cannot explain it in words. Therefore, I propose to understand the concept together. Let’s also ask ourselves whether self-sufficient men need a family. After all, doubts often arise about this.
Signs of self-sufficiency
There are a number of key features that characterize self-sufficiency:
- The ability to calmly endure loneliness;
- Lack of need for “social strokes” (i.e. various types of approval and praise from others);
- Psychological independence, i.e. the ability to resolve internal problems and contradictions on their own, without discussion with others;
- Self-confidence;
- Inner strength to take full responsibility for decision making;
To develop independence, it is extremely important to develop this particular set of qualities in yourself, and also to strive to achieve material independence from people, since otherwise it is impossible to talk about any independence at all. Of course, this is not a primary condition, but it should also be taken into account.
The other side of the coin
Confident people don't care what others think about them. They are already self-sufficient. However, everyone measures this characteristic differently. For example, a teacher who has the best class in the school, respect from colleagues and a high salary is professionally self-sufficient . Anyone who breeds and sells flowers also has this quality.
In addition, there is personal self-sufficiency . This could be a handsome young man who is financially independent and has achieved everything on his own. He has many fans, he constantly changes girls. Another option is a simple guy who is in love, happy and confident in his choice. Or a good family man who makes great money and loves his wife and children. Each of them has personal self-sufficiency.
The Pros of Self-Sufficiency
This property manifests itself as a person grows up. It is its appearance that indicates that a person goes through stages of development on the way to creating a decent life. Such a personality has a number of advantages:
- The ability to fully provide for oneself, having the necessary material income;
- Perseverance even in the most unfavorable moments of your own life;
- Willingness and ability to make decisions independently, as well as overcome life’s obstacles;
- Ability to maintain peace of mind in difficult situations;
- Having your own unique opinion about what is happening.
Several tests
First of all, understand whether you can become a self-sufficient person. To do this, you can take two tests.
Test one - turn off the TV, phone, social networks. Don't communicate with anyone. Spend the whole day alone, alone with yourself. Listen to your thoughts.
If you immediately become bored and have nothing to do with yourself, then it is unlikely that you will be able to become a self-sufficient man. After all, if a person does not depend on others, it means that he has some kind of hobby that does not let him get bored. Such a person will not have to “kill” time; he will spend every minute usefully.
Test two . This test is also based on an attempt to remain alone for a while. Sit down and imagine that after some time you need to leave to study or work in a completely unfamiliar country.
Try to imagine this situation in as much detail as possible. dive into it. Think of a place for future work or study. Mentally look at your arrival, at a hotel room or rented apartment, imagine looking for a job, communicating with interesting new people, and your future place of work.
In such a situation, you will not be able to get help from anyone but yourself. You will have to make important decisions yourself. If thoughts about such a future do not frighten you, then you will definitely succeed!
Cons of self-sufficiency
Self-sufficiency is considered a positive character trait, but in certain situations it can have a negative impact on a person. Therefore, a number of disadvantages can be identified:
- Excessive isolation. Some people, after becoming self-sufficient, tend to minimize any meetings with other people. Those who are too accustomed to relying on their own strengths often isolate themselves from society, which can lead to the fact that a person finds himself completely alone.
- An overly negative reaction to other people's idleness and fun, which can also contribute to the severance of friendships and connections.
- Excessive self-confidence is formed , which can gradually develop into arrogance and interfere with communication with other people.
Outline your goals
Set clear goals for the year, week or month. Plan your life. The plan may fluctuate, various circumstances may make adjustments to it, but the goals set must ultimately be achieved. A person without a goal has an incomplete life.
From the above, we can conclude that a self-sufficient man is a person for whom only his own society will be enough for a full life.
Things without which there can be no self-sufficiency
In order to be a self-sufficient man you must:
- Have a profession that brings not only a stable income, but also pleasure;
- Have a hobby or favorite hobby, thanks to which you will not constantly think about what to do with yourself;
- Have some character qualities; they can be either congenital or acquired through correction of one’s own deficiencies.
Differences between self-sufficiency and independence
At first glance, the concepts of “self-sufficiency” and “independence” seem similar, however, there are certain differences between them. In particular, an independent person, although he can earn money for himself and provide for his own life, can still be independent from other people, society and communication. He strives to conform to fashion, his own image in society, as well as the opinions of others. A self-sufficient person does not experience dependence on society; he feels comfortable both being in society and alone.
It is worth understanding that such an approach frees a person from the need to look for those to blame for his own problems and failures. The adoption of a specific decision by a person leads to the fact that he takes full responsibility for it. He is not offended by emerging circumstances and other people.
Qualities of a self-sufficient person
The personal construct of a self-sufficient person includes such qualities as:
- stress resistance;
- generosity;
- psychological maturity;
- rationality;
- courage and straightforwardness;
- determination;
- independence;
How to develop self-sufficiency?
In order to develop this quality in yourself, you should adhere to the most common recommendations of psychologists and specialists, which are as follows:
- When you take on a certain task, always rely only on your own strengths, do not expect support. Strive to live as an independent person.
- Try to provide for the needs of your own life with your own efforts. This factor manifests itself in all the little details of everyday life.
- Take care of your physical condition, eat right and rest. Live a healthy lifestyle so that you have a stable and healthy mental state.
- Try to treat any problematic situations with understanding, calmly analyze them, and do not allow an overly emotional reaction. You should treat both praise and criticism equally.
- If you are left alone, then do not be afraid, but accept this state, use it to develop yourself and your personality.
- Practice. Spend special days of solitude, during which you will not communicate with other people, even on social networks using gadgets.
- Project situations in which you are left alone without the support of other people. Develop appropriate strong-willed qualities.
- Analyze your own life and the behavior of people from your social circle, use critical thinking.
- Set specific goals. Development is much easier if you have specific goals. Goals should have specific deadlines, and large goals should be broken down into small steps.
Characteristics
The man is successfully engaged in his business, he is strong in spirit, open to communication. He can freely be left alone in a difficult situation, and at the same time he will feel comfortable. This is healthy self-sufficiency. And it’s a completely different matter when a man talks about how good he feels alone. But from the outside it is clear that he is withdrawn and not ready for new acquaintances. Such a person is afraid to make any independent decisions, constantly trying on the mask of a successful personality, under which in reality he is unhappy. This is problematic self-sufficiency.
So, let's figure out what kind of self-sufficient man he is? In a relationship with him, it’s like behind a stone wall. He is an excellent owner, a good family man and a wonderful husband. He knows very well what his woman needs. Always supports, pleases and takes care of her. Regardless of her mood, I am ready to share everything that she experiences. At the same time, in no case does he demonstrate his bad mood to others.
With such a person it is both comfortable and difficult, but only if there is a desire to manage him. Since he is resistant to criticism, he perceives it adequately, and is in no hurry to change to please others. In fact, such a person knows how to evaluate himself sensibly, and not rely on the assessment of others.
How to become a self-sufficient man
A step-by-step plan on how to become a self-sufficient man (remember that a person becomes self-sufficient throughout his life):
- Decide on the meaning and purpose of life, desires and needs. Make a step-by-step plan for self-realization. If some tools are still missing, then you need to make a plan for getting them, for example, think about what traits of your character you need to destroy or, conversely, what you need to get rid of in order to achieve your goal.
- Set personal boundaries, work on your sense of self-respect and self-worth.
- Understand who you see next to you and what kind of relationships you are ready to build. If your current relationship doesn’t suit you, then think about whether you can work on it (if so, how) or whether it’s easier to get out of it.
- Be sincere with yourself and others, allow yourself to be yourself. What have you long dreamed of, what have you forbidden yourself, what do you really want?
- Remember your rights and freedom, get out of someone else's control.
- Learn to listen and hear, but never sacrifice yourself. However, this does not mean that you should avoid compromise and mutual concessions to achieve common goals at work or in your personal life.
- Learn to take responsibility for your life and not rely on other people or fate.
- Get a hobby and learn to comfortably spend time alone.
Important! A self-sufficient man has no psychological, material, or physical problems. He lives in the present and clearly sees his future.
