Silent, taciturn person ☒ Why is a person of few words

In our environment we very often meet people with different personalities and temperaments. Some behave brightly and expressively, gathering other people around their active personality, while others shun society to some extent, behave with restraint and aloofness. As a rule, it is quite difficult to establish contact and interact with such people. But in order to understand exactly how to approach communication with a silent person, you need to know what reason lies behind his detachment. It could either be something personal or just a personality type.

How to stop being silent

You cannot remain silent during an interview, at a speech, or when taking an exam, but shy people cannot cope with themselves. There are several ways to help get rid of this problem:

do not pay attention to the opinions of others;
develop self-confidence;
believe in success;
don't be afraid of mistakes;
set goals and achieve them;
smile;
talk about yourself;
become friendly;
find people with whom you can be yourself.

Silent people should relax and not get hung up on the peculiarities of their character.

Women's silence

It is not common for women to be silent, but sometimes they become silent for no apparent reason.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

The fair half does not say a word if there is nothing else to say. Then glances and gestures come into play. Thus, the emotions and feelings of a woman are conveyed.

Another reason for silence is resentment. If feelings are offended, then the girl continues the dialogue within herself. Reluctance to communicate may arise from not knowing what to talk about next.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

If a woman falls silent during a conversation with a man, then she wants to remind you that she is not just an opponent, but a representative of the fair sex. The girl understands that words cannot win, and resorts to body language.

How to become a silent person?

In modern realities, the most often valued personality traits are sociability and openness, that is, the ability to freely contact society and make useful acquaintances. However, people who are too open and sociable may encounter a lot of problems related to the fact that, in a fit of revelation, they may tell about themselves or others information that was neither necessary nor desirable to disclose.

Many people faced with this problem ask a completely logical question: how to become more withdrawn and silent. This problem can be solved exclusively by strict self-discipline and self-control. You shouldn’t be too trusting of people you don’t know and let them in on your secrets. When in company, it is advisable to try to control your speech and carefully think about what needs to be said. It is also better to give up a certain amount of alcohol, as this drink encourages unnecessary revelations.

Silence as a personality quality

Silent people are introverts, they do not take their experiences outside, they are immersed in their own thoughts and feelings. They are not comfortable in noisy companies, they concentrate on the situation, and experience anxiety when communicating with strangers. They are characterized by isolation, they rarely open up even to their loved ones and will think carefully before saying something.

Signs inherent in silent ones:

a small number of friends;
avoid mass events;
they are nervous before an event where they need to talk a lot;
prefer to relax alone or with loved ones.

If silence is a personality quality, then such behavior will accompany her throughout her life.

They want to be left alone

When a quiet person is in the company of noisy people or extroverts, he looks like a black sheep. And most people around will think that this person wants to be left alone. However, this is not quite true.

Often introverts are quiet for a different reason than you might think - not because they want privacy, but rather because they feel low on energy.

Being surrounded by a large group of people can drain an introvert to the point where they may stop socializing altogether. However, an introvert who is in a small group of friends will be anything but quiet. That is, he does not want to be left alone at all, he simply prefers to spend his energy on other things.

Peculiarities

Among the many bright, sociable people, there are very often quiet and silent ones. The fact that a person does not like to speak out in a company and is not eager to communicate with everyone he meets does not make him somehow wrong or boring. Often the most silent people are very erudite and interesting interlocutors.

The characteristics of such people are often striking and can cause some misunderstanding in society. For example, such people are characterized by a certain coldness, even detachment; they are extremely laconic in communication and limit themselves to monosyllabic phrases.

There are many reasons why a person may be silent. This can be either a type of character or a certain type of incident that happened in his life. Therefore, it is recommended to be as tactful as possible with silent people.

Reasons for excessive silence

Excessive silence depends on the current emotional state and character of the individual. Reasons for reticence:

Personal experiences. If a person cannot let go of thoughts about troubles, then he cannot carry on a conversation.
Fatigue, physical malaise.
Lack of communication skills - most common in adolescents.
Shyness, fear of communication. Occurs after psychological trauma or negative experience.
Vulnerability, lack of self-confidence, dependence on other people's opinions.
Complexes, fear of focusing on shortcomings during a conversation.
Difficult relationships with parents in childhood.

If a person is usually sociable, but is silent in the same company, then perhaps the team is unpleasant to him.

Male silence

Men tend to be silent. A secretive, taciturn gentleman causes a feeling of misunderstanding in women. Reasons why men are silent:

upbringing;
fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood;
fear of appearing in a different role, losing face;
reluctance to communicate with women because of sad experiences;
low self-esteem;
excessive modesty, shyness, indecisiveness;
rejection of the interlocutor.

Read also: SHOULD YOU CHANGE JOB IF IN DOUBT?

Silent men find it difficult to speak in public, meet girls, and go on dates with them. Such personalities do not like telephone calls, but can open up in correspondence.

Alexander Baluev likes to relax in silence. In the acting community, he was known as a silent man who would not say too much. “In a team, sometimes I stop feeling like an individual,” says Alexander.

Psychology

Silence, as a rule, is accompanied by a certain number of features that one way or another form a unique type of this category of people. Most often, silence is accompanied by a sad or thoughtful expression on the face; such people most often make an unfavorable impression upon first meeting.

Also, the most characteristic feature of silent people is that they do not like noisy parties and large groups. They mostly communicate in a small circle of people, they have few friends, and they plan their time in a quiet, calm environment. This is the psychology of silent people.

There is also a certain category of people who have this feature due to certain complexes coming from childhood. As a rule, such people are very embarrassed by the fact that they create the impression of being offended or sad, so they constantly apologize for their “inappropriate” mood in an unfamiliar company, which further increases some awkwardness between people.

In a small company of good friends who know such a person quite well, he can behave confidently and openly, communicate a lot on various topics and not show complexes and silence.

Rules in communication

Silent people often store a storehouse of valuable information and are very interesting interlocutors. The main thing is to choose the right approach in communication and create conditions for them in which they will feel comfortable and make contact.

To do this, you need to understand what causes silence. If a person is simply not in the mood today, then most likely it is better not to touch him. And if this is a certain type of character or various types of complexes originating from childhood, then it is necessary to adhere to the tactics of unobtrusive friendly conversation.

You should not be assertive and impudent, this can provoke a silent person to become even more closed. It is also undesirable to ask questions of this kind directly: “Why are you so sad?”, “Why are you silent all the time?” The main thing is not to forget that genuine sincerity and participation will help to establish contact even with the most unsociable person.

Is silence always bad?

Silent people do not talk too much and know how to listen to their interlocutor. There is a lot of information noise in the world; people talk without hearing each other. Silent people treat every word with respect and are known as polite people.

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If grief happens, the introvert does not want to talk. In this case, he simply needs to remain silent. The psychology of a silent person allows you to experience the strongest feelings and experiences, protects you from unnecessary advice and moralizing.

In a conflict situation, the ability to shut up in time will save the relationship. Out of emotion, a person says unnecessary things without thinking about the consequences. In response to such a situation, it is best to show self-control and not participate in the conversation. Silent people do not respond to attacks, they speak only to the point - as a result, the conflict ends.

If it’s uncomfortable to say “No” and refuse a friend, then you can remain silent. This will save you from having to make excuses or tell lies, and the interlocutor himself will understand everything.

The “silence is golden” rule works great in situations where you need to hide your own stupidity. If you do not understand something, then it is better not to enter into a discussion.

What to do if someone is hysterical and says that everything is very bad

From time to time, we see people upset, saying that everything is terrible and have no idea what to do next. Instinct correctly tells us that we need to calm the person down and we often say “Everything will be fine” or “Calm down.” But these words don’t work because they only touch on the problem superficially and avoid the other person’s feelings. To cope with this situation, use a three-step algorithm: 1. Understand the interlocutor. Listen carefully and let them talk. 2. Analyze the facts. Talk, ask a few questions: “Let's figure it out...”, “What is the likelihood that everything will end well/badly?”, “Has there been a similar situation? If so, how did you cope then? 3. Move the conversation into the future. Ask: “What will we do right now?”

Closedness

It is also important not to confuse concepts such as silence and isolation. Closedness can be called a state of a person when, due to serious psychological reasons, problems with self-esteem, a person refuses to interact with society. These are slightly different, more serious problems with self-awareness, self-esteem and psychological state.

At that time, a simply uncommunicative person may have only slight complexes about himself, shyness or a certain type of temperament, which in no way prevents him from existing calmly in society.

BUSINESS PARTNERS

If you want to intrigue your partner with unspoken information, remain silent. If you want to provoke rash actions, put pressure on sore spots, add significance to something insignificant - also be silent. Finally, if you simply don’t want to demonstrate your own position or need to “save face” in a not very pleasant situation, remain silent again.

Silence in business loses its original meaning as a pause in dialogue. Instead of a tool of communication, it becomes a tool of manipulation, often with false gilding. Silence for the sake of intrigue, for mystery and tension, to emphasize one’s own importance. Remember the catchphrase from the Soviet film “That Same Munchausen”: “An intelligent face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All stupid things on earth are done with this facial expression. Smile, gentlemen. Smile."

Silence in business becomes golden only as an information signal that there is nothing to talk about. The main rule here is to speak essentially, and essentially remain silent. Everything else is a silent “puffing out of one’s cheeks” to give oneself greater importance.

FAVORITES

“He suffered in silence” - this formulation is familiar to our ears. Try to silently enjoy love! I'm almost sure it won't work. We can hide our own pain under seven locks. But it’s very difficult to pack happiness and love into it. Glowing eyes will give it away. The smile at the corners of your lips will turn into laughter.

Silent love is more of a beautiful metaphor than a reality. Anyone who is sure that his destiny is to love silently and unnoticed may love his own experiences more than the other person. For some reason I remembered the image of Pierrot from the fairy tale about Pinocchio.

Silent love is a “ticket” to the space of personal suffering. Even if a person purchases this ticket unknowingly, he is guaranteed to suffer one hundred percent.

The man became silent

The most delicate attitude in communication requires a situation when a cheerful and sociable person suddenly distances himself and becomes secretive. Most likely, the reason for such a sharp change in mood was a certain kind of problem or unpleasant event in his life. In the process of communicating with a person who has suddenly become silent, you need to exercise maximum delicacy and caution. It is necessary to avoid sharp and rude questions about his condition, and carefully talk about family and personal topics. Communication should be built in an easy way, without pressure and rude jokes.

They're mad at you

When acquaintances meet in passing, there is usually some interaction between them through which they communicate to each other: “I’m fine.” For example, it could be a friendly “hello” or “how are you.” Let's call this "basic" interaction.

The basic contacts of silent and talkative people are different. A talkative person will feel the need to give a vocal reaction when meeting, while a quiet person will behave like a logician - that is, if everything is in order and nothing has changed since yesterday, then the normal reaction will be silence and the absence of any action. In such a situation, it may seem to the person you meet that the “quiet one” is upset or angry with him, but again, all these assumptions are based on projection. Even if someone reacts differently than you do, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.

In general, try not to judge those who are quieter than you, and do not project what you would do in this situation - after all, we are not talking about you, but about a completely different person.

Each of us copes with the situations we face differently. We are all unique creatures just trying to get along on this planet.

Types of mutism and its main symptoms

According to the International Classification of Diseases, 10th revision, mutism is assigned its own identifier - F94.0. In particular, we are talking about selective mutism, which mainly affects children. According to statistics, approximately 1 in 150 children are diagnosed with this condition. Interestingly, girls are most often susceptible to developing mutism. Selective mutism is also called selective mutism. With this condition, a child may be active and talkative in his usual environment, that is, in the family, but become completely silent in kindergarten and school, or lose the ability to speak in the presence of certain people. Often, adults perceive this behavior of a child as a social protest and try to solve the problem using radical educational methods. But this is fundamentally wrong, because timely identification and treatment of mutism will avoid problems with the psychological state of the child as he grows up.

The most common among children and adults is considered to be psychogenic mutism - a condition in which a person loses the ability to speak after severe mental trauma. There are several forms of psychogenic mutism:

Why are some people silent and others not?

Some of us constantly need communication; we want to be among friends, relatives or just acquaintances. They just need to share their impressions, thoughts, desires. Perform in public or be part of it. And it is simply painfully difficult for them to be alone. At such moments, this category of people begins to feel lonely, abandoned, a feeling of boredom and an inexorable thirst for communication sets in.

While the other group strives for solitude with all its nature. These people want to be silent, to be alone. They are quite comfortable alone, and alone with themselves they are in complete harmony. Here the situation is completely opposite - an outsider is superfluous here. Such people strive to get away from noisy companies to their own quiet and cozy haven.

And how can we live together, so different and dissimilar? Do extroverts and introverts have common ground? And can they be comfortable with each other?

It is believed that extroverts are created in order to take part in changes in the external world, to be a constant and active part of it, giving and receiving energy from it. For these types of people, their own energy is not enough and they have to constantly take it from the outside. Thanks to this need, the extrovert is resourceful and impulsive; he needs to be in communication all the time, surrounded by events and bustle in order to get this energy. Extroverts are not only experts at taking this energy for themselves and using it, but they can also give this energy back to the outside world.

An introvert has plenty of energy, and this is partly why he avoids communication whenever possible. It is believed that an introvert lives more in his inner world than in the outer world. He gives all his strength to this world, he goes there with his head, he feels comfortable and cozy there. And in this regard, it is precisely his inner world that the introvert seeks to develop. After he has been in the company of acquaintances, in public, or simply in a large crowd of people for at least a short time, the introvert needs to hide in his own world for a while in order to replenish his strength spent outside of it.

And what points of contact do these two completely different types of people have in common? First of all, this is mutual understanding. And it comes directly from the realization that the people around us are different and everyone has their own limits of comfort. Everyone has their own vision of leisure, and what is good for one may require moral effort and cause discomfort for another.

It is important to understand that different people have different needs for communication, and if your interlocutor wants to remain silent, then perhaps he is not showing reluctance to talk with you, but only wants to replenish his strength and recharge his energy in order to continue your communication in the future. And vice versa, a person who asks too many questions and wants to know everything about you and tell everything about himself, perhaps, does not want to bother and irritate you at all, but is only showing his usual manner of communication. This makes it easier for him to perceive information, he thinks and makes decisions in a conversation.

If we wish, we can all understand the characteristics of the psychological personality type of other people, because there are no absolute extroverts or introverts. Each of us has at least a small share of both psychotypes, and by delving into ourselves, we will be able to accept and understand the peculiarities of other people’s communication, based on the typology of their personality.

Tags: psychotypes, psychological types, psychology of communication, people

Interesting facts about silent people

Some people speak little because those around them already say a lot of words. Silent people are smart and prefer not to waste their time explaining obvious things. They are observant when talking, analyze, think before continuing the conversation.

Observation

Taciturn people spend little time on words; they can observe the interlocutor and identify interesting nuances. Such individuals are ready to perceive non-verbal information, react to the mood of others, they see what is hidden from the eyes of others. Thanks to this, silent people correctly assess the situation and draw conclusions.

Outstanding analytical skills

Low-communication people have outstanding analytical skills. They evaluate circumstances, reason, break down the situation into its components and choose a solution.

Increased intuition

Silent people focus on themselves and listen to their own feelings. They have highly developed intuition. They are aware of emotions, feel the mood of the interlocutor, and observe the situation.

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Such individuals intuitively understand when it is possible to speak and when it is better to remain silent. They accept both sides of an argument, have an optimistic view of the world, but react sharply to criticism.

Vulnerability

Silent people react sharply to criticism addressed to them; they are hurt by everything that they do not want to hear. This quality is present in men and women. They criticize themselves, worry deeply about what happened, and can lead themselves to depression.

They like to be at home

Silent people are introverts and prefer to spend time alone. The best place to relax is at home, where you don’t have to strain, put on a mask and fight indecision.

Sometimes communication is too hard

Speaking in front of an audience is a challenge for people of few words. Silent people do not know how to come up with topics for communication on the fly; they answer questions in monosyllables. Communication with an unfamiliar person becomes a burden.