How to learn to cope with life's difficulties?

In any situation, have a plan B

Tune in to the positive, but don’t rule out a bad outcome to the situation. Have several options for the development of events to be prepared for anything. For example, a student doesn’t know physics well and is afraid of a test. This is the most difficult test for him. What to do? Plan A is to try to prevent the problem by reviewing the topics with a classmate. Plan B is to accept the possible bad outcome and figure out how to fix it. For example, get a high grade in the next lesson. The same principle can be applied when searching for a job. If a specialist does not have enough experience and skills, he can either improve them by taking courses, or agree to work from scratch, but for a low salary.

To create a plan “B”, you need to understand the problem, formulate it into tasks, think through ways to solve them and choose the best option. You will learn more about this technique from the video with psychologist and career guidance specialist Adukar Anna Isaenko.

How to overcome difficulties 4152 views

Before thinking about how to overcome life’s difficulties, it is necessary to define the very concept of “difficulty” and conditionally divide them into categories. What difficulties are there in our life?

Different people have different attitudes towards the same events. And it is the attitude towards certain external factors that often determines how easy it is for a person to overcome obstacles. Conventionally, all difficulties can be divided into the following categories:

1. Circumstances that seriously complicate life:

financial difficulties, debts, loss of income;
theft of property, loss of shelter, theft of money;
health problems, serious illnesses;
catastrophes, natural disasters and other life disasters.

2. Family problems:

Constant quarrels with family and friends;
Disagreements between generations: uncontrollable children or inadequate parents;
Divorce, betrayal of a husband or wife, loss of a loved one;
Any dysfunctional relationships between family and friends.

3. Intrapersonal conflicts:

Problems associated with adolescence (in adolescence, in adulthood - 30, 40 years old, etc.);
Difficulties in interpersonal communication that provoke a feeling of inferiority or low self-esteem;
Lack of a kind and loving attitude towards oneself;
Feelings of worthlessness and deep loneliness.

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4. Various minor troubles that can accumulate and create a feeling of “black streak”.

When overcoming obstacles, it is important to understand what is your attitude towards the troubles that arise every day? If you think that the whole world is playing against you, throwing more and more problems at you, and you yourself are driven into a corner by all these difficulties, you definitely need to work on your attitude towards external circumstances. To successfully overcome difficulties, you must constantly control your emotions! First you need to ask yourself a question: how does the next problem make you feel? Feelings of helplessness, fear, doom? Or is it a feeling of confidence that everything can be fixed? Whatever difficulties await you around the corner, you need to overcome them while maintaining calm, equanimity and sobriety of mind. How to achieve this? Self-hypnosis is the main principle on the path to overcoming obstacles. Of course, doing self-hypnosis for just one day will not achieve anything. But constant and strict control over your thoughts for three weeks will definitely lead to the desired results; your thinking pattern will simply change! Scientists have proven that certain chemical processes in brain cells are responsible for the course of our thoughts. Memory reinforces the “path” that thoughts followed most often. At first, you will have to work hard not to succumb to negative emotions. However, daily exercise will help change negative thinking to positive.

How to easily overcome obstacles

The essence of a simple and easy attitude to any troubles is as follows:

It is necessary to understand that any difficulties are temporary. Like everything else, they won't last forever;
A person is able to overcome everything that happens in his life, the main thing is to cultivate self-confidence in his own abilities. After a while it will become one of your most important qualities;
When you feel bad, help someone whose situation is much worse than yours. Thanks to this, you will understand what a happy person you really are;
When solving this or that problem, do not involve your emotions - this takes a lot of energy and strength. Learn to see exclusively the essence of the problem and ways to solve it. Calculate your capabilities and gradually eliminate the consequences of the problem;
Don't think about the troubles that may happen to you in the future. Anticipating possible problems, you just need to be prepared to solve them. Also, do not forget that a lot depends on you, and, if possible, take measures to prevent the negative development of the scenario. After doing the work, praise yourself, even if something went wrong, because it is impossible to foresee everything. This way you will prepare yourself to overcome any difficulties and cope with them easily and simply;
Pay attention to the positive moments in your life. Even if you are restoring a destroyed house, it is better to think not about what you have lost, but about how wonderful your new home will be, much better than the old one. It is important to learn to enjoy life, no matter what difficulties haunt you, to be grateful for everything you have. The feeling of well-being will not leave you if you appreciate what you have in your life;
Understand that losses are an integral part of life, which means you need to be prepared for them. By losing one thing, we gain something else. Seeing the positive and beneficial sides in any situation is very important;
It is useless to be angry when difficulties arise. You need to try to cope with the situation as quickly as possible, without wasting your strength and without complaining about your difficult fate. And by repeating your complaints (whether out loud or mentally), you will only attract new troubles;
Lead an active lifestyle and work physically. An ordinary run will help wash away heavy thoughts from your subconscious. Then it will be easier to cope with a difficult situation;
Stop complaining! Instead, focus all your efforts on overcoming obstacles. Look for a way out, think, direct all your energy to find a solution and simply follow the plan;
When the problem is solved, rejoice at this fact from the bottom of your heart! This will help cement the rewarding experience in your memory. Remember: everything that does not kill us makes us stronger, wiser, more confident.

However, sometimes truly difficult moments arise in life, great grief, for example, when a loved one dies, people lose their ability to work, their health, their property. In this case, you need to use the following tips:

Repeat to yourself: “I will definitely overcome this.” You can ask God for help if you believe in him. If you don’t believe it, ask the Universe for strength (and they won’t keep you waiting long, believe me). We, like a magnet, attract everything we think about. Therefore, if you ask the world for strength, you will definitely receive it;
If you feel that you are unable to cope with the situation on your own, tell your loved ones about the difficulties you are facing and ask them for help. Human participation can fill the soul with new strength, relieve tension and push negative emotions into the background;
Make a choice towards the right, creative thoughts, and not those aimed at destruction. After all, after a storm the sun always comes out.

Mental Methods for Overcoming Obstacles

Any thought of trouble can be overcome by responding to it in this way:

This will not last forever (everything will pass, end, pass);
I can overcome this;
I will definitely deal with this;
So what?

Eg:

I don't earn much. BUT it won't always be like this!
I don't have a loved one. BUT it won't always be like this!
Due to a serious illness I cannot walk. BUT I can handle this!
My house was destroyed after the earthquake. So what? I'll build a new one!

We hope that all of the tips listed will be useful to you and will help you easily overcome problems and difficulties in the future. Be happy! And let any adversity in life turn into an exclusively useful experience for you.

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Don't be too overconfident

Being confident is a good trait of a successful person, but being overly confident is not always healthy. It is a mistake to imagine that you are the only irreplaceable person who should by default have access to all the delights, achievements and awards of the world. The higher you fly, the more painful it is to fall. Any loss in this case will be perceived too painfully. It’s easy to give up, but it’s more difficult to gain strength and start anew. Therefore, evaluate your strength fairly. Giving up volleyball forever without qualifying for the university team is not entirely correct. You can continue training and try again later when you are more prepared physically and mentally.

Keep a diary

Whether you're in a good mood or a bad mood, keeping a journal allows you to record your thoughts. This is especially important in cases where you feel uncomfortable talking to people. It will also help you plan and make a list of what you want to achieve and what you need to do to achieve it. Don't think it's boring, there are many ways to journal.

And the diary often helps in cases where you need help from a psychologist - with its help you can track the dynamics of your condition and not miss important moments and experiences that need to be shared with the doctor.

It's ok to accept defeat

Feeling sad about not coping with a challenge is a standard human reaction. Everyone faces failure in life sooner or later. The main thing in this case is not to give up on your goal or dream, but to accept defeat, draw conclusions, and try again, but under different circumstances. For example, if it weren’t for the persistence of JK Rowling, who received 12 rejections from publishers, we would never have read Harry Potter. The writer achieved her goal, but it took a little more time and patience.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Accepting reality will help organize your thoughts and feelings. This is the key to being productive. How we behave when faced with a problem determines how quickly we find a solution. Even if our problem cannot be solved (for example, the loss of a loved one), we still choose each time how to react to what happened.

You shouldn't indulge in self-pity. It will not allow you to move on and will completely deprive you of your fortitude. Ask yourself: “What can I do right now to help myself in some way?” You may have to overcome your fear or do something unpleasant. The main thing is to act.

Accept that there are no perfect people

Ardent perfectionism sometimes prevents a person from overcoming obstacles. The question haunts me: “How is this possible, since I do everything correctly and perfectly?” It’s difficult to come to terms with this; a person becomes fixated on difficulties and so on in a circle. Why drive yourself into a dead end? Nobody's perfect. It's normal to make mistakes, to not know how to cope with a difficulty. But you can survive this by at least starting with accepting your imperfection.

Find like-minded people

It is difficult to cope with many situations in life alone. Even if you are used to always dealing with problems on your own, it is worth thinking about creating a “support group” for yourself in order to survive life’s difficulties. These could be close friends or family who genuinely care about you and want to help.

Sharing problems rather than being alone with them is really important. This helps us look at them from the outside, find support, and better understand ourselves.

If it’s difficult for you to talk about problems “live” or you’re afraid of upsetting your loved ones too much, a good solution would be online communication and thematic forums where you can help other people and get support from them. Maybe someone has had a similar experience in life, and is ready to share how they experienced it. This will make it easier to make a decision, weigh the pros and cons, or simply understand that you are not alone in this situation. And it will become easier to get through the difficult period.

Focus on what's important

Striving to overcome your life's challenges and become the best version of yourself is not easy.
You need to learn to focus on what is important and stay away from distractions and things that can interfere with achieving your goals. It really makes it easier to get through difficult times. When you're unemployed, you don't want to spend all your money on a new wardrobe or delivery of rolls every weekend. You will try to save as much money as possible until you find a new income. This is an example of focusing on what is important, although distracting things seem much more interesting.

Be open-minded about what others say

Some words of encouragement from loved ones can take the form of constructive criticism.
In fact, they are not trying to accuse you of something or offend you - on the contrary, they are trying to show what could help you in the future. Try to have an open mind and think about what you are told. These words can really help you become a better person or look at a situation from a different perspective. Often we don't notice some important aspects, but others notice them - so it's worth taking their words into account. But to act as they suggest to you, or to remain unconvinced, is up to you to decide.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Your life is different from others, and you shouldn't feel bad if other people are already at the peak of success and you are not.

For example, your friend weighs 50 kg, and you are still on your way to the same mark on the scale. There is no need to constantly look at her photos on social networks and reproach yourself for the fact that she managed to achieve this, but you haven’t yet. You will never know all the pitfalls that are hidden behind what we consider other people's success. In addition, everyone’s ability to achieve their goal is different, and it’s simply wrong to compare them.

But comparing yourself to yourself in the past is much more useful. If you look back and see that you lost 3 kilograms in a month, didn’t miss a single workout, and completely gave up fast food to achieve your goal, you’ll want to praise yourself. This mindset allows you to recharge yourself with energy and motivation to achieve a big goal.

Exercise

Many people think that exercising is too tiring and should be avoided during difficult times. In fact, exercise is very beneficial during difficult times. They help relieve stress, release and release negative energy, and shift attention from problems to other activities. So after training we can actually feel better.