Hello, at certain periods in our lives we have a desire not to work. I wish I could win or inherit a billion dollars from a mysterious American relative and live for my own pleasure, without worrying about making money. Such luck falls to a few lucky ones, while the rest have to lift their bodies every day from their favorite sofa and stomp to the hated office, workshop or somewhere else. It happens that your favorite profession begins to strain you. And, waking up on another weekday morning, I can’t get rid of the thought: “I don’t want to go to work until I cry, what should I do?” So you force yourself to wash, get dressed, and drink a cup of coffee. And then after “I don’t want to”, brushing away your tears, you go to work. Why does this happen and how to deal with it?
Psychology of the problem
A position in a company means a certain position in society and money, but most people still reject this opportunity. There are even individuals who do not know how to settle down anywhere, explaining this by the fact that the conditions are not suitable for them.
In fact, the roots of the difficulty lie deeper than it might seem: from the manifestation of ordinary laziness to the presence of internal conflicts.
10 reasons why you don't want to go to work
- Enough funds. If there is a source of income, even if it is additional, then the person is in no hurry to find a place of employment - he simply does not need it.
- Lack of goals. The employee simply strives to get money for subsistence and does not have such motivation as an increase in wages or advancement on the career ladder. Then interest is lost, and activity becomes an overwhelming responsibility.
- No time for personal life. Especially when you have to get up too early, come back late and work seven days a week.
- Wrong position selected. The individual got a job because of an urgent need for finance or because of the fear of missing out on possible benefits. But he feels that this is not what he needs.
- Heavy workload and, as a result, lack of rest is a good reason for not wanting to go to work. A heavy schedule quickly wears you down. Constant fatigue appears, and lack of sleep also contributes. This causes a serious blow not only to physical but also psychological health and can lead to depression.
- State of procrastination. It occurs when all the tasks are put off until later and, ultimately, they accumulate too much. You have to deal with everything urgently. But this results in headaches and emotional burnout.
- Conflicts within the team. Everyone is in a certain dependence on the social group. And the problems in it, the tense atmosphere, unfriendly relationships suggest the thought: “I can’t work anymore.”
- A workaholic person. No matter how paradoxical it may seem, such individuals often struggle with an unwillingness to work. They are deeply immersed in the process, but if things appear that they do not like, the incentive for them disappears. The condition may also be associated with exhaustion due to lack of rest.
- Frequent service changes. You left on your own, or you were fired. In any case, there is a feeling that you will not gain a foothold in the next place for a long time.
- Indecisiveness. It is difficult for you to find a suitable position due to the fear of not being able to cope with your responsibilities. This often occurs among students or those who have radically changed their specialty.
Fear of dismissal
Yes, everyone has different fears. And among them is the fear of quitting your job. Questions arise: where will I go? Who needs/needs me? What if I end up without money? Yes, these are all useful fears that keep your life comfortable and as you are used to. But if you don't like your job and are afraid to quit, then you need to make a choice. Either endure or open up to something new.
I would recommend the second option. Because life loves risks, but does not like it when people endure all their lives. Therefore, think about whether you are ready to decide on something new?
Understand that you don’t have to quit and only then look for a job. You can look for a job in parallel with your current one and gradually choose what you like. What will change if you at least try something new? Everything can only change for the better. If you have a really strong fear of changing your life, write to me, we’ll work through this belief and solve it.
Read more: How to find the meaning of life if you don’t want anything
I don’t want to go to work, what to do: advice from psychologist Daria Milai
You can think about the reasons for this state forever. But there comes a turning point when it is necessary to take action. At my consultation, I will help you build a happy and harmonious life, where work will not be a heavy burden. But first, I'll give you a couple of recommendations:
- Get rid of negative thoughts and focus on what brings you pleasure. What do you love most? Maybe it's drawing, animals or caring for babies?
- It's never too late to learn a new profession. Today there are many special courses that issue certificates for certain skills. This will be a good step to break out of the negativity and start doing what you love.
- Do you think your salary is too low? Don't be afraid of change. Talk to your boss about a promotion, or start looking for new vacancies. The only thing is, don’t quit rashly, otherwise you risk being left without any money at all.
- If conflicts arise with colleagues, you can find like-minded people. With a friend everything becomes much easier.
- Don't forget about rest. You won't earn all the money. But the tension and stress accumulated during the day should disappear without a trace. Everyone has their own way to relax: lie in a hot bath, watch your favorite movie or read a book, or get out into nature. An individual needs at least 8 hours to fully restore energy and strength and take on tasks again.
What did you like as a child?
Unfortunately, our parents often do not listen to the wishes of their children. The child wanted to draw, but he was sent to football or music school. Okay, if a guy plays the guitar, then often he plays the violin. For children, this is not prestigious among their peers. Although a guy who knows how to play the violin will always have money, even if he earns money while traveling in the subway. (Joke)
Let's look at your childhood, what did you want as a child? What did you dream about? What did you like? Even if the parents were against it. Every child had some idea of what he wanted from life. Astronaut, fireman, policeman and so on.
Your task is to remember what you liked and try to do it. But not all at once, but little by little. You don’t need to immediately fall into the process, try to study it a little first, watch videos about it. There are a lot of different videos on YouTube, I’m sure there will be a lot of things there.
Read more: How to get out of your comfort zone
Various situations
To better understand what to do if you don’t want to work, you need to consider specific cases and select appropriate solutions for them.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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I don't like my specialty
Then you have two options:
- Enroll in courses or at a university to obtain another profession. Of course, it’s a shame that 4 years and a lot of money were spent on training. But receiving only negative emotions from work is not the best option.
- Try to find a company where you can get a job without special education. It's no secret that many people work without a diploma. And these are not only sellers in supermarkets, but also web designers and advertisers. It is not necessary to have a “crust” to be a good specialist.
I don't want to sit in the office
In fact, this is not a serious problem. Today you can find a lot of vacancies that do not require presence in a special building. But this is a double-edged sword. When choosing a remote method, you need to be as responsible and self-disciplined as possible. Lack of qualities can only aggravate the situation.
No desire to work for others
Modern young people do not want to obey. There are two solutions here:
- Set a goal for yourself, gather your strength and achieve success by becoming your own boss.
- Opening a business is a more difficult option, requiring money and time, confidence and determination.
What to do if you have no desire to work at all
The above tips do not help everyone. There are still people who cannot get rid of the feeling of disgust at the mention of service. It may seem surprising to some, but there are also ways to live and do nothing:
- Save enough money to move to a “cheaper” country. For example, India or Thailand. They are relatively inexpensive places to live. There are those who sell an apartment and a car and use the proceeds to admire the natural beauty and enjoy favorable climatic conditions.
- Turn your hobby into a source of income. You will not have to step over your own “I”. You will continue to do what you love and start getting paid for the results. If you love baking, prepare custom cakes; if you love flowers, take up floristry.
- Buy property in the village. You will be able to eat products grown in the garden, natural milk, eggs. But the option is not suitable for everyone. Not everyone will decide to leave civilization.
Vdovin Ivan
- More than 15 years in psychology
- Owner of 2 successful businesses
- Developed his own method “Key Therapy”
- Certified NLP Practitioner
- Certified Hypnotherapist
- In practice I use: Gestalt therapy, imagery therapy, body therapy, art therapy, hypnosis, Hellinger constellations
- Helped over 100 clients
- I invested more than 500,000 rubles in my education
- My blog is visited by more than 1500 people per day
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Stimulus or new place
If there is no desire to work at this job, then the most logical thing, of course, is to find another one. But who said that after a certain period of time a similar state will not occur again? But you can fight it. I'll tell you how.
8 ways to get motivated
- Keep it simple. Treating service as a burdensome task is not the best option. Let thoughts about activity be associated with simplicity. Any, even the most difficult task is just a set of easy stages, no more.
- Take care of your health. Often the reason why you don’t want to work is simple malaise, overwork or other ailments. Stress can worsen the condition, and responsibilities will be less fulfilled. Everything is connected.
- Find something you like. After all, if an activity does not bring even minimal pleasure, it will be increasingly difficult to motivate yourself.
- Learn to appreciate rest. After a hard day, you don’t have to lie down on the sofa and watch TV. Take up a hobby to make the most of your free time. Better yet, go to beautiful places during your vacation. Upon your return, you will attack your tasks with double vigor. And you will strive to earn money to go on a new journey.
- Success stories. Life is full of stories about how diligent and hardworking people came to triumph. From them you will definitely find many useful things for yourself.
- Tell yourself “Stop.” It happens that when performing a complex task, it is quite difficult to concentrate on it. Don't push it three times harder, just stop. When you focus too much on the details, you lose sight of the big picture. And to get rid of the “blurry” look, you need to switch to something else for a while.
- Self-discipline. You should try to get rid of all the reasons that prevent you from working fully. Often a person cannot work at full capacity because he is distracted by social networks, new messages and notifications. Set aside time exclusively for tasks and leave the rest for later.
- Find the ideal conditions. Some people will need earplugs to be productive, others will need music. Some people like good lighting, while others prefer twilight. Of course, it’s not always possible to organize a workspace for yourself, but it’s still worth striving for it.
Trust the situation
Psychologists believe that suppressing emotions is not the best solution. Throw your laptop against the wall and write an angry letter to the customer? Also fraught (at least with expenses for repairs). There is another way out.
I turn on my inner dragon: I send everyone and everything in my soul to popular letters, imagine how I won’t go anywhere and look out the window. And then an idea appears why it’s profitable for me to go there! Delicious coffee will be poured or new acquaintances will appear. And in general, experience is to do something in a new way, to see what the day will bring for me, how the series of events will unfold. I turn on trust in what is happening. I make this a personal game: in my thoughts and, if possible, in my deeds.
Tatiana Klishina
psychologist
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Just the thought of the office brings me to tears.
Forcing yourself to go to a place you hate tomorrow is pure torture. This situation is not common, but if thinking about work already causes sharp negative feelings that lead to hysteria, then this is a reason to use the services of a psychologist.
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But first it’s worth finding out the reasons. There may be several of them:
- Contact with society is uncomfortable. Try to find a position where communication with people is not required.
- Conflict with the team. Then you should learn to express your own opinion and fight for rights. However, if the case moves from one organization to another along with you, this is a reason to think about what in your behavior causes such a reaction.
- Uncertainty. Increase your self-esteem. Try to communicate with others more often, develop these skills.
Meditation to help
And here I will write about the benefits of meditation in this problem, if you need to understand what you want. I have an article about meditation, read it and enjoy it.
In proper meditation, we immerse ourselves in a state where we completely trust ourselves. But we cannot harm ourselves in any way. Ask yourself what you want from life and let life itself lead you to the job you want.
Ask yourself a question in a meditative state, what do you want, what do you like? Watch the cartoon, the unconscious will definitely show you a sign. All you have to do is recognize it.
You're going to hard labor
Activities are difficult, there is a feeling of constant fatigue, and contact with clients and colleagues causes moral exhaustion. Did you see yourself? So, it's time to pay attention to your health. It is entirely possible that you have entered chronic fatigue mode. And without an appropriate approach, it is almost impossible to get out of it. You need to introduce the right diet, reconsider your lifestyle and get a good night's sleep.
Causes of apathy
All of the above happens to us for several reasons:
- The cold weather has set in and seasonal apathy has set in
- It’s urgently time to rest (especially if you haven’t been on vacation for a long time or the previous weeks have passed in “Stress” mode)
- professional burnout occurred
- want to change your field of activity
Perhaps not everyone will agree with the list above, and will want to add problems with the team, management, and irregular schedules. But these problems are of the same order, and I will talk about them below.
Let's decide what is behind the desire to quit and not go to work, and most importantly, how to deal with it (after all, no one has canceled the obligation).
We work with pleasure: how to achieve this
Everyone around wants to perform their duties with pleasure. And the lack of such an opportunity is a serious headache. It's time to get rid of it.
The right attitude towards money
In ancient times, this resource did not exist at all. People could exchange labor for the results of others. But with the expansion of the range of skills, the number of professions, and the growth of cities, this has become problematic. Then money was invented as an intermediate step between exchange. They are designed to achieve balance. And no more. You shouldn’t make the meaning of life out of them.
Only work is important
The modern world forces us to go to work in order to have opportunities for existence. But you can visit the office not only for this purpose. No one wants to spend a million dollars on building a house that will collapse tomorrow. Also here: any finance costs the same as labor. Therefore, the essence of every activity is the exchange of resources. And the tools only simplify this process.
How people are deceived
The dream of many is to receive a huge salary for minimal effort. Let's assume that the person succeeded. His self-esteem has skyrocketed, and his range of opportunities has expanded significantly. But there are just as many smart guys around who are trying to produce bad results for a lot of money. And so you exchange a tidy sum for goods and services of inferior quality. An absurd situation. Therefore, it is not the size of the salary that is important, but the work. If it is terrible, then the point of spending a lot of money is lost.
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Your activity is significant
Often reluctance is due to the fact that the person is afraid to waste time. Then responsibilities become meaningless. But it is necessary to understand that any position exists only because it is needed. Without a baker, people will not be able to enjoy delicious buns, and without a builder, new houses will not appear. Until this awareness comes, we will not be able to approach tasks responsibly.
Understanding the System
A responsibility that requires an individual to be in the office for a fixed amount of time is neither good nor bad. And you can continue to show infantilism and shout at all corners that your freedom is being limited. Or you can look at the situation from a different perspective: this way it is possible to overcome your own egoism and benefit others. This circumstance pushes the individual to development and movement.
Be in your place
If the requirements have become a burden, why continue to fulfill them? A person must love what he does. In this case, he realizes how to work for pleasure. Often we try so hard to cling to a position and stay in it for more than a year that we forget that it turns out that it can be changed.
Show love
We spend a whole 8 hours with tenderness at our favorite job. This feeling is a guarantee of quality, and therefore usefulness for others. It is when mastering this stage that maximum fruitfulness can be achieved. Which, in turn, will help you feel the impact.
Creating the right atmosphere
We spend most of our lives in service. Therefore, it should be understood that this is not only a set of tasks, but also emotions and communication with people. There is always a way to give others the positive things that are present in ourselves. And thereby make the day good not only for those around you, but also for yourself.
Self improvement
The 8 hours spent in a particular building must be put to good use. You can do the same thing for years and get the same salary. But in the end it gets boring. Skills and activities need to be developed: perform tasks faster and better, take on more complex requirements. All this will have certain benefits in the future.
Creativity
Every job has its own list of responsibilities. First, a person gets used to them, then they become automatic. Meanwhile, work becomes monotonous. But we are not robots programmed to perform specific movements. Therefore, you need to connect your imagination to any decision. This way you can go beyond the boundaries and put your soul into the results obtained.
Think about others
The effectiveness of actions depends on how much a person understands what the client wants. Why is he turning to you? How can his order be fulfilled to the fullest extent?
BONUS + Develop healthy energy habits
Often we do not want to work because we have lost all the energy, and we do nothing to train the body to generate more useful energy for work.
There are 4 habits available to everyone that add energy to a person:
SPORTS . Any type of argument that involves the whole body. Swimming, running, dancing, martial arts. Personally, I run, do pull-ups, do push-ups and lift dumbbells.
MEDITATION . Clears your head of excess clutter and helps you focus on what’s important. I haven't been able to get into the habit yet. I do it from time to time. But I’m working on making meditation a regular activity.
DREAM . The importance of adequate sleep is underestimated. Most often by young people, because they already have a lot of energy. After 30, the understanding comes that you need to sleep as much as your body wants. 8 hours is enough for me. Previously it was 6 and 7. Now the body is asking for more and more. I try to let him get enough sleep. This affects energy.
QUALITY RECREATION . Not just lying on the couch to watch a movie, but getting out of the house and doing other things besides work. For example, fishing, picking mushrooms, traveling with family or friends to another city, traveling. It’s trivial to go out of town to barbecue.
I'm tired, I always want to sleep
I would like to immediately note that I am not a doctor and in general I am quite far from medical sciences. So you don’t have to believe what I write. Maybe I write more for myself - to understand this phenomenon, which I see as the main threat to our generation Y. At least I write based solely on my own experience. The psychologist to whom you will pay 5K per appointment may not have such experience.
Until recently, I believed that there was a law of conservation of energy in the human body. That is, the less you move, the more energy you accumulate, and then you can gush with it. This is probably my main misconception, which formed in my subcortex in early childhood - when a child is stuffed with fairy tales, in particular, about Ilya Muromets, who can lie on the stove for years and one day rise from it as a hero a la Ruki-Bazooka.
Everything is exactly the opposite. When you don't move, blood circulates through the body more slowly and begins to stagnate. Hence – fatigue, apathy and drowsiness. Your body is rapidly approaching the state of a dead person - that is, to a state when the blood stops altogether.
Even work at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant does not cause as much damage to the body as sedentary work - as an SEO specialist, copywriter, editor, programmer, content manager and any other where you have to stare at a computer for 8 hours a day.
Contrary to logic, physical activity will help you stay alert longer. My way is to play football. I love football because it is not only about physical activity, but also about passion and the desire to win. For me personally, this is a kind of version of Palahnikov’s fight club, an opportunity to feel on top of the world at least for a couple of hours a week. For example, dull work in a rocking chair does not give me the feeling of victory. No matter how many times I tried to walk, I never stayed there for long.
