“Out of sight, out of mind,” if only it were so simple... In the harsh reality of gray everyday life, the more you try to distract yourself from the thoughts that endlessly scroll through your head, the more difficult it is to do so. And every time they become more and more intrusive. Not everyone can independently overcome the depressing state of all-consuming melancholy and sadness. Note that it can lead to nervous exhaustion, and then not far from a psychiatric hospital. So let's take care of ourselves and get rid of longing for a person who is not around for some reason.
Start appreciating yourself and your life
The next piece of advice on how to stop missing your loved one is to realize that you are worth a better life. You deserve all the best that is in this life, good people who will begin to appear as soon as you free yourself from unnecessary thoughts and begin to live a full life. After all, you are simply accustomed to this feeling of loss, and you are afraid to let it go. But you need to do it.
You must stop blaming yourself or your partner for failures. Free yourself from anger, anger, resentment and other negative feelings. What's done is done, it's already in the past, and you need to think about the present and the future. Therefore, start spending more time on yourself and your desires. Start meeting your friends. Start doing things that bring you pleasure and happiness. Live your life to the fullest so that you simply don’t have time to think about the past.
Emotional addiction
Why are people bored? Because they are emotionally dependent, that is, they feel that they have lost personal autonomy (or have actually lost it). As a result, the person:
- Experiences suffering when the object of his feelings is unavailable/not paying attention, etc.
- He feels that he cannot free himself from this addiction.
- Is under a negative chronic influence that binds his feelings.
Indeed, when a person enters into a close relationship with someone, he involuntarily falls into emotional dependence. For example, if his companion feels good, then the person rejoices, and if he feels bad, then he begins to feel sad. And this can continue for a long time, people seem to have turned into two communicating vessels and now they can’t live without each other. That's why a person gets bored.
Switching technique
The next tip on how to stop missing your loved one is to use the switching technique. In this case, you need to sit in a quiet place and close your eyes. Next, try to create a negative emotion associated with your separation, and stay in it. It will be a little difficult and you won't be comfortable, but that's completely normal. Let all these feelings flow into your body. Don't be afraid to feel as bad as possible.
After that, you need to create a different feeling. Create a feeling of what you want. In my experience, it's better to look for a feeling that makes you feel good even when you're alone. How can you create the feeling of something else? We all have this ability. We can change our emotional response in an instant.
Just remember a few good words or phrases that you like and lift your spirits. Say them out loud, now sit down and repeat them in your mind. I realize this may all sound a little strange and you might want to read something more interesting. But I do this exercise all the time and it really works!
Our thoughts and feelings are a huge force. Do this exercise several times a day, every time you think about this person. Over time, you will be able to do this exercise in one fell swoop, and you will begin to feel much better. You can use this technique for everything in life.
Consequences of melancholy
Melancholy generates fear and is physically and mentally exhausting. “Sick” and “sick” are the closest concepts to melancholy. We can be “sick” of the world, of ourselves. If a person feels sick, it means that he is doing something wrong in his life. There is nothing more terrible and destructive than rejection and self-loathing.
Although melancholy is similar to sadness, they are different concepts. Everyone feels sad, but sadness only strikes those who have not found or have lost themselves, their place in life. Next to longing there is always hope for a return to previous conditions, habits, emotions, people, ourselves. Melancholy is preceded by sadness, and after melancholy comes a feeling of hopelessness and depression. It is important to notice this in time and begin to solve internal problems. The phrase “don’t be sad”, of course, will not help, you need to act.
Try to bring love back into your life
Of course, you don’t need to spend all your free time on dating sites, and immediately after breaking up with your loved one, look for a replacement. But you also don't have to be alone for long periods of time. Just look around. Perhaps there are already people in your circle who care about you.
Start spending more time with your closest people. Start attending more social events, meeting new people, and socializing more. You need to be patient. Because strong feelings don't go away quickly. And time is another assistant in the question of how to stop missing your loved one. The main thing is to endure the first months after separation. After this, you will begin to notice that negative thoughts will come less and less often.
Reasons that won't let you forget
How to make a man think about you constantly and miss you
Love addiction is similar in structure to alcohol or drug addiction. Most often, people who lack self-confidence and are unable to make decisions and cope with problems on their own are subject to addiction.
Important! A weak woman is confident that a man can overcome all troubles. Therefore, the loss of a strong partner is perceived by a lady as a mental catastrophe.
In this regard, the girl is not able to “get out of her head” thoughts about the guy who is the “key” to solving her problems.
Girl misses boyfriend
In addition to the childish nature of a girl, the following behavioral factors can prevent her from forgetting a man:
- The initiative to break up comes from the man. Human psychology is such that wounded pride can unconsciously transform into love addiction. The desire to return a partner is not associated with bright feelings, but with selfish motives for revenge. A girl cannot always track her own needs on her own.
- If your beloved man is married, being fixated on him may indicate an unconscious fear of serious relationships with single guys. Fear of feelings, building a family, and having children often provokes a fixation of attention on unfree young people.
- Fear of loneliness can prevent you from forgetting a man. Uncertainty about their own attractiveness often pushes women into love addiction. Representatives of the fair sex may feel that no one else will be able to pay attention to them. Therefore, they will try with all their might to return the guy with whom they already had an affair.
- If a girl works or studies with a guy in the same institution, it is quite difficult to get thoughts about him out of her head. Every time she meets her beloved colleague, a woman will unconsciously think, fantasize and return to her memory of the time when she was happy.
Look for joy in life
You need to start enjoying at least something. Buy something you've been wanting for a long time. Ask for a vacation from work and travel to other countries. Watch funny movies and read interesting books. Look for ways to distract yourself from reality. Try something new. Start developing new qualities in yourself, learn foreign languages, find new hobbies or interests. Overall, you should be busy doing things that bring you joy and pleasure.
Is it worth starting a new relationship?
“They knock out a wedge with a wedge,” friends often call a woman in a state of grief to this folk wisdom. Ladies mistakenly believe that after a failed relationship it is necessary to immediately start a new one in order to get rid of mental torment.
Additional Information! “Rebound” is what Western psychologists call a substitutionary novel, which is translated from English. language means “return”, “rollback” or “restoration”.
The paradox of this “way out” of the situation is that such a connection has nothing in common with a mature relationship.
New acquaintance
Entering into a new romantic adventure does not allow you to deal with old grievances and experiences. Until a woman consciously crosses out her former love, analyzes all her mistakes and understands what she really wants from her partner, all unresolved problems will “transition” into a rebound union.
Make a list of tasks for the day
As I said earlier, in order to stop missing your loved one, you must keep yourself busy with something. In this case, a list of tasks for the day or a list of tasks that you will switch to when you remember your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend will help you. Over time, this will become a habit and become a mechanical action. If you don't have tasks to occupy yourself with, then move on to other people. Your loved ones and friends will help you switch to other states and feelings. After communicating with them, you will have completely different thoughts and feelings.
Filling the void
When someone close or loved one leaves, people feel discomfort, a contradictory feeling of incompleteness and brokenness appears. In such cases, you should not bother with the pathological “I miss” the one who left, you need to make your own day as busy as possible.
Start simple - with your hobby. Devote a few hours to what you love. Then read a book by your favorite writer, don’t forget about a walk with your best friends, go to the premiere of a new film.
It’s not for nothing that our great-grandfathers said that any problem can be cured with work. Take on several additional projects, take part in organizing an event, attend an exhibition in the evening, and devote the weekend to charity.
You can also find useful activities at home: rearrange things, hang wallpaper, learn a new recipe. If you wanted to lose extra pounds or go on a trip, now is the time.
The more ideas for active pastime, the better, the faster you can get rid of obsessive thoughts. And over time, you won’t even notice how longing and boredom will turn into pleasant nostalgia.
7. Get rid of things that remind you of this person
Another important thing that can contribute to memories of a loved one is the various things that are associated with him. You need to get rid of them as quickly as possible. If you lived together, then collect all of his or her belongings and mail them. If you find it difficult to get rid of these things, then ask your friends to help you.
Also delete your photos and correspondence on social networks together. Get rid of anything that might remind you of this person. This way you can forget him much faster and return to a normal and happy life.
Worst ally
Even at the first stage after a breakup, when sadness has just begun to creep into your heart, it is worth remembering that alcohol does not help you stop yearning for a person. The characters of many films and books have sought solace at the bottom of a glass; such images are dramatic and romanticized, but in life everything is much more prosaic. Under the influence of alcohol, a person does not find relief; often his condition only worsens. The risk of making irreparable mistakes is growing.
But we note that this coin has two sides. One evening with your best friend or girlfriend, a bottle of wine and a sit-down in a cozy kitchen can work better than any therapy. And if you want to give up on all your problems and go with your friends to a club where you can have fun until the morning, then by all means go. Allow yourself to relax once, but don't make it a system.
Do what you want
The best way to distract yourself from bad thoughts is to fill your life with many events and find a way to have fun. Now is the time to take bold actions and make your dreams come true. Let it be small whims - a new hairstyle, signing up for a massage course, going to the spa or cinema, a new tattoo. This will give you the opportunity to feel your freedom and begin to enjoy it, and small joys will gradually begin to crowd out the unpleasant consequences of the breakup.
Why do men leave their wives?
Precious feeling
Longing, a person plunges into memories of how good it was together. But look at the situation from a different angle.
True love, all-consuming and filling the entire being, does not occur very often. Some people have never experienced such a strong feeling in their entire lives. And it happened in your life! Your heart experienced all that magnificent flurry of emotions, your soul gained invaluable experience. Don’t worry that wonderful days won’t happen again, but simply thank fate for them.
