Having met, young people evaluate and study each other for some time. It’s good if they have common ground - hobbies, interests, common views on various issues. This makes it easier to understand and makes lovers closer. But sooner or later, feelings that flare up will lead to intimacy, and it is important for a girl to understand what and how to do in bed in order to please a guy or a mature man.
Unfortunately, the success and duration of the romance depends on the first physical contact, and disappointment on the part of the chosen one will put an end to the relationship that has not yet begun. The most unpleasant thing in intimacy, as well as in life, is insincerity, and if it can be hidden during a conversation, then in sex it is almost impossible to do this. And the point is not even that sometimes a woman has little experience in this area. First of all, you need to understand what a man expects from her.
Despite the fact that sex refers to the physiological aspect of the human personality, relationships between representatives of different sexes are built on many psychological nuances. Having studied them, any girl has a chance to win the heart of her loved one.
Reasons for shyness in bed
Lack of sex is already a consequence, and it all starts with the causes. Let's start with them.
Doubts about your own attractiveness
Fashion and beauty “experts” work hard to propagate the image of a slender blonde and convince society that only such tanned skinny women are worthy of attention, love and sex. The rest can be safely added to the list of “unattractive and not in demand.”
Imposed stereotypes, combined with low self-esteem, make the fair sex doubt their own attractiveness. “I’m ugly”, “I’m fat”, “I have small breasts” - such beliefs do not allow a woman to believe that she is desirable. So what should I do? Read on.
Fear of experiencing pain
A person flourishes when he is appreciated and praised, and withers when he is scolded and criticized. The fear of not being accepted, of being rejected makes a woman give up close relationships and not even dream of that guy and herself in his arms. It is possible that this fear has a basis.
If the relationship with the previous partner was unsuccessful, if the person did not have a sense of tact, could hurt with a word or ridicule, then the woman will be afraid to relive this traumatic experience again. When communicating with a man, she will feel squeezed and try to quickly “hide” in her comfort zone, like in a shell, where no one can offend her.
Sex is dirty
Good girls aren't interested in sex. They crochet and embroider violets. This is what my mother, grandmother or father, or one of the significant adults said. And even after becoming a woman, the girl continues to follow the guidelines that were instilled in her on her way to growing up.
Blocks placed in childhood are not so easy to remove. To do this, you need to reconfigure your thinking, form a new attitude towards sex, as an interesting game, as a continuation of a relationship, as the art of love.
To do this, the brain must receive strong reasons to abandon old principles and accept new ones. A girl must become an adult for herself, accept that she has grown up and give herself the right to decide what is good and what is bad for her.
I won't succeed
There is a first time for everything. It is best if this time is for love or with an experienced partner. This will give you the opportunity to believe in yourself and not develop complexes. Like any business, sex also needs to be learned.
More experience means more opportunities to surprise your partner in bed and give yourself and him a range of new sensations. The belief “I’m embarrassed to have sex, it won’t work out for me” should not be an obstacle to love and pleasure.
Women who doubt their abilities should remind themselves, “not all the songs at the concert are hits.” There is always something that works better in the game of love. It is worth using your strengths while simultaneously practicing self-improvement.
Compensation in this case will be the opportunity to combine business with pleasure. And the partner, most likely, will not mind contributing to learning.
I'm embarrassed of myself
If a woman is unattractive to herself, then it seems to her that everyone around her sees her shortcomings, her broken nail, unpainted roots and cellulite. Even in bed with a man, these thoughts do not leave and do not allow you to relax.
The woman tries to turn off the light and keep her clothes on, in fear that the man will be frightened by her figure. In fact, history is silent about cases where a man escaped from a naked partner. All fears occur only in the head of the woman herself.
If a lady ends up in a man’s bed, it means she is desirable to him, which means he wanted to see her there.
Restraint and limits of decency
“The appearance of morality” or “you need to control yourself” - all this is from the same series that a woman should not be too emotional. Impulsive ladies are usually called hysterical in society. You can cry a little, laugh a little, but otherwise carry yourself like a lady or like the Snow Queen.
Read How to confess your love to a guy
Men stare after such a woman, but she emanates coldness. She looks like a fatal beauty, but she hasn’t had sex for three years. Why? A beautiful body may attract a man, but the cold repels him.
"It is difficult for girls from high society to escape loneliness." But a discreet, completely unremarkable gray mouse is surrounded by gentlemen. She can afford sexual freedom and men feel it, flocking like moths to a flame.
Doubts about the correctness of the decision
Another reason to be stuck in bed is doubt. If you doubt it, don’t do it; if you do it, don’t doubt it. Fluctuations in any decision resemble a swing or a swinging pendulum, and can exhaust a person to the point of exhaustion.
There can be any number of reasons for doubt, for example:
- “Is sex acceptable on the first date”;
- “What will he think of me”;
- “We quarreled, and I agreed to have sex, he will decide that this is possible with me.”
When in doubt, you should be decisive and allow yourself to have a blast and have fun, if you so desire. And the thoughts about whether this decision was right or not should be postponed until later.
How to make a man chase you - psychology
Your wary attitude towards magical actions may force you to turn your attention to psychology. With its help, you can also make a young man die of boredom in your absence.
Human instincts can be trained. When we enjoy certain actions, we strive to perform them again and again. The young man feels good next to you, but without you he is completely sad. So he will look for a meeting so that it will be wonderful again.
- Consider the problem that you should learn to work around. You are not the only girl on the globe, so there is some probability that someone else may experience sensuality.
- Try to imprint in his memory remarkable episodes with your participation, so that the pleasure received is remembered exclusively with you.
- Create a thread of connection that connects pleasant moments with you, and constantly remind your loved one of it.
- This is the aroma of your fragrance when you first meet, the lyrics of a song played on a romantic date, words whispered in your ear during intimate moments, and more.
Will this work
Let's say a young man hears the song to which you had your first kiss, and he begins to associate it with you. Indulging in further memories, he begins to understand that he had the best moments with you, but now he is lonely and sad. To put it bluntly, the sadness associated with your absence begins.
Note to girls: How to attract a man into your life - feminine tricks of seduction
How to overcome shyness and become more relaxed: Recommendations
What should you do first? Take a pencil and erase from your head the belief that being a modest and shy person is good. We all come from childhood. It was just that once upon a time it was convenient for adults so that you would not shout, disturb, or generally interfere with your questions.
They sat modestly in a corner and did not distract from important matters. But the surprising thing is that those who are not afraid to stomp their feet, attract attention, shout and demand receive more benefits. And the one who sits dutifully on the sidelines is doomed to remain an observer, never having tasted life.
So, if you are ready to fight for love and liberation, then go ahead!
TOP 5 ways to relax in bed and stop being ashamed of your body
I am the most charming and attractive
And there is no doubt about it. Each person is individual. In the whole world there is no exactly the same girl with red freckles, curls, with dimples on her cheeks, with a snub nose, all this is unique, unique and given by nature to you.
Why strive to reshape your appearance to the “standard of beauty”. To be accepted and loved by other people, you need to love yourself. You can take a photo in which you like yourself, put it in a prominent place and admire not the models from glossy magazines, but yourself, the most charming and attractive.
We also recommend reading our article - How a girl can become sexy and desirable in the eyes of any man.
I'm okay - you're okay
Have you noticed that it is pleasant to be with some people, but you want to get away from others as quickly as possible. It all depends on the person’s attitude towards us. If we are admired, praised, accepted, then we feel significant. But if, on the contrary, they look for shortcomings, ridicule, insult, then it won’t take long to turn into Quasimode from Hugo’s novel.
It is better to stay away from people who are accustomed to asserting themselves at your expense or even avoid their company, let them practice their wit elsewhere. They are the ones who have problems, and you are fine.
Everything perfect is unrealistic
To be attractive you don’t have to be perfect; on the contrary, you fall in love with the highlights, with what makes a person different from others. It is important to find your chip. Maybe it's a languid voice or a mischievous smile or sparkles in the eyes.
Knowing your strengths, you can use them by flirting and playing, revealing your femininity gradually, like a fragrant bud.
Read Kiss with tongue: Rules for the most passionate kiss
The aroma was intoxicating
It is important to take care of yourself; hygiene gives you confidence. You can choose perfume and cream that will give your skin aroma and tenderness.
Smell matters a lot. If a man associates a certain scent with this particular woman, then he can be aroused only by the trail of her perfume.
Follow your desires
It is worth giving freedom to your desires, allowing yourself to dream and want. I do this because I want to. I make a date when I want, I order a glass of wine, not mineral water, because I want to.
I kiss the man I want. Once you try to follow your desires, it is very difficult to give up freedom of choice. The opportunity to fulfill your desires is intoxicating and inspiring.
No fear
To stop being shy in bed, you need to become a conqueror of your fear. Our fears live in the past and future, they do not exist in the present.
It is important to focus on the moment that is happening and throw away all other thoughts. You can also take your experiences to the point of absurdity, and what is funny and absurd can no longer be scary.
The wine is finished, the lights are off
A glass of wine will help you relax in sex. Alcohol relieves tension and brings partners closer together. But in the hope of becoming a “tiger” you shouldn’t overplay your hand.
If you don’t calculate your dose, you may simply not proceed to the main action. And looking at his sleeping partner, the man, who also hoped for a continuation, will be lost in thoughts “what should I do with her now?”
She was an actress
If it’s difficult to immediately transform from a shy woman into a liberated priestess of love, then you should turn to role-playing games. You can choose any role for yourself. This will help you stop feeling shy in bed. Although why in bed? You also have the right to choose and change the place where your love game will take place.
Little Red Riding Hood, a strict teacher, a diligent student, a passionate stripper - “today you are a maiden, tomorrow you are a goddess, then you are a queen, then you are a slave” - the game is captivating, and who knows what facets of your femininity you will reveal in each of the chosen roles.
Be simpler, it will be easier
Stop thinking that you are constantly being evaluated. This is already pride. More than anything in the world, people care about themselves, and think about others only from time to time, believe me, you are no exception. Remove the crown and the tension will be relieved.
The art of small steps
It is not necessary to use all the techniques and tips at the same time. Love doesn't like haste. This is not a marathon and no one is ahead of anyone. Tender words, compliments, hugs, kisses, it’s so exciting that neither you nor your partner will want to stop. You just have to start...
I understand myself
“I want to see your emotions,” if a man doesn’t say this out loud, then most likely he thinks so. It is difficult to understand whether a woman likes or not what is happening, whether she enjoys it or is bored, if there is no emotion or response.
To tell a man how to please you, you need to know what you like. To reveal your sensuality, you can practice bodily techniques, pamper your body with massage, aromatic baths and observe how it reacts to touching, stroking or even spanking.
There are no boundaries
In fact, people install them themselves and everyone has their own. Maybe if you allow yourself to go beyond the boundaries of the usual, you can find yourself in a real Through the Looking Glass? Visit a sex shop, decide to watch a porn film, take nude photographs, talk with your partner about explicit topics. Find the courage to enter a new world.
In any case, it’s worth a try, firstly, to stop being shy about sex, and secondly, to understand what you like and what you don’t. If you don't try, you won't know.
Sex is a source of energy. A sensual, liberated woman is always attractive to men. Who dreams of you being like this for your man?
How to drive a man crazy
The first thing that catches your eye when you meet is, naturally, clothing. By correctly selecting and arranging certain objects and things, you can ensure that the guy will go crazy just looking at you
What seduces men in clothes
- Wear tight-fitting clothes that will not hide the attractive curves of your body.
- Highlight your butt, breasts or thighs.
- Pay attention to skirts with long slits.
- Particular delight will be caused by the elastic band from the stockings periodically shown in the cut.
- Unbutton the top button on the blouse. Your companion's gaze will be drawn to this part of clothing that threatens to fall open, in order to accidentally see the attractive cleavage.
- Use sexy, lacy lingerie that adds femininity and makes you admire it.
- Choose attractive colors - red or black. But it’s better to avoid blue.
Create opportunities
Although you are constantly busy and often do not know what to put your hands on first, you should still have time for love. Commitment is important, of course, but so is intimacy because it strengthens your relationship. Women who love sex often have a lot to do. However, they will never turn down a romantic evening just because they need to vacuum the apartment or cook dinner. When they are tired, they go to bed early, but set the alarm at an hour so that they have time to be alone with their partner the next morning.
No commanding tone
“Now a little to the left and press harder. Not there!” Commands from a woman’s mouth discourage any desire.
So leave your inner man outside the bedroom threshold. It doesn’t matter who you are - the director of a large company, a department manager or a strict teacher. In bed you are a woman: soft, gentle and sensual.
And even if a man does something wrong, you can guide him, show him which caresses are pleasant to you, and which ones lead him out of the right mood
Instead of giving orders in a clear commanding voice. Don't be surprised if he never calls you back.
Sex in marriage: what a woman needs to do if a man:
According to the types of perception of the world, people are divided into three main categories; knowing which group the husband belongs to, it is easier for the wife to become irresistible, desirable, and turn everyday life into bright holidays.
Auditory: thinking out loud
They love with their ears. They always have high-quality stereo equipment at home, they buy headphones for a long time, meticulously, such a person will refuse to watch a long-awaited movie if there is no high-quality translation for it yet. In conversation, the word “listen” is often heard. An auditory man is able not to notice “preening”, perceive a latex suit and kangaroo pajamas equally, but will not remain indifferent to intonation and words.
Foreplay with him can begin long before the evening. It’s enough to call and tell them in a velvety, languid voice about something juicy. You can drive a gentleman crazy in the bedroom with moans, conversations consisting of short phrases, tenderness or obscenities uttered in a fit of passion. You should refrain from high shrill notes of voice and silence. They love compliments.
Porn films are divided into high-quality and hack-work based on the moans of the actress, without paying close attention to appearance. By the way, it is useful for their woman to polish the art of warming up her partner with sounds; this will not only help make sex brighter, but will also create a special atmosphere of understanding and trust for the couple. About every 10 guys are auditory learners.
Visual: final act
The vast majority of representatives of the stronger sex love through a beautiful picture. It is important for them to see their partner dressed brightly, stylishly, femininely, neatly; they notice any roughness of the image, sloppiness. Heels, stockings, skirts, belts are powerful weapons of conquest. As shown by research by scientists from the University of Bollogna, who surveyed 2,000 respondents, visuals especially highlight ladies’ legs, so pedicure, hair removal, delicate heels, and beautiful shoes are a prerequisite.
Have imagination
Rest assured, men hate boredom in the bedroom. They love gentle sex in a soft bed, but at the same time they will never refuse a bath, an armchair, and even a table in the kitchen for a change. They often choose the usual classic position, but are also open to other erotic “constellations”. Sometimes tell your partner about your erotic fantasies or put a note in his pocket in the morning describing what you want when you get home. You can also pretend that you just met and act like you're on a first date. There are many ways to make sex more fun, but for starters:
- Learn to trust your partner
- Talk about your desires and your preferences
- Experiment, offer sexual roles
- Let your partner understand with screams, moans, facial expressions about pleasant touches, caresses, actions
Don't criticize
“You have small breasts and cellulite on your thighs” – will you be pleased if your partner starts looking for your shortcomings during sex?
Sex is not a situation where you need to be witty and criticize your partner's skills. Even if he doesn’t do something the way you want, show understanding and feminine wisdom.
Offer to change position, show him what kind of caresses you like, become his guide to your own body, because who knows sensitive areas better than you?
