First sex is a reason for lust, excitement and even anxiety for both boys and girls. While young men are concerned about whether they can do everything right, girls worry about whether deflowering will bring them pain and discomfort. In order for the first experience to go well for both partners, it is necessary to study all the details about sexual contact between a man and a woman. Understanding your own physiology and that of your partner will help you feel more confident and try to both receive and give pleasure.
Suitable age
In the Russian Federation, the age of consent is determined by law: 16 years. Despite the fact that adulthood comes at 18, from the age of 16 young people have the right to have sex with each other. But sexual contact with a person under this age is not legal and carries criminal liability.
Each person's first sexual experience may occur at a different age. Physiologically, both boys and girls can be ready for sexual intercourse as early as 13-14 years old, when the most active period of puberty passes. By this age, most boys have a stable erection and this process stabilizes; in girls, a regular menstrual cycle is established. Physiologically, their bodies are already ready to become parents.
However, from a psychological point of view, the appropriate age for the first time is 17-18 years old. At this time, young people can already control their desire and can learn enough about their own bodies to be ready for sexual intercourse.
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The appropriate age for first sex is determined differently for each person. 17-18 years is a generalized value, and in the presence of certain psychological and physiological factors, the first sexual contact can be either at an earlier or at a later age. The main thing is that a person is internally prepared for this; only in this way can the experience be called successful.
Highlights of first intimacy
Many boys and girls ask the question: “At what age can you start having your first intimate relationship?” The answer to this question is ambiguous. There is an opinion in society that you need to start having sex after marriage (at about 18-25 years old).
But the influence of Western culture made its own adjustments. Now many lovers learn the basics of intercourse almost in their teens, before they even get married. And many couples have sex while in a civil marriage. As you can see, there is no exact age for the onset of intimacy.
As for sex itself, it can be viewed from both a physiological and psychological point of view. If in the first case it will be knowledge of basic techniques, then in the second it will be sensuality. The psychological aspect plays a huge role - when people love each other, intimacy becomes more passionate and emotional.
If there is no love in the relationship, sex will be perceived as ordinary mechanical actions. Therefore, if there are no feelings, it is better not to start sex.
What's happening
The first sexual contact is a crucial moment for both partners. In order for it to be successful, a man and a girl must alternately go through all stages of sexual intercourse (we are talking about classic vaginal sex):
- Prelude. Partners give each other pleasure through foreplay - stroking, kissing, massage. During foreplay, both the man and the girl should get aroused.
- When a man is aroused, an erection occurs. Blood flows to the penis, and it increases in size, while becoming hard enough to easily enter the vagina.
- Female arousal is associated not only with blood flow to the genital organ, but also with the release of a special lubricant. Thanks to such secretions, the penis enters the vagina more easily, and the girl does not experience pain.
- When both partners are sufficiently aroused, the man carefully inserts his penis into the girl’s vagina. It is important to do this gradually so that the partner does not experience severe discomfort. For those girls whose hymen is not elastic, it tears during the first sexual intercourse - because of this, spotting may appear. This is absolutely natural, but it doesn’t happen to everyone.
- The man makes progressive movements with his penis in the girl’s vagina until the peak of sexual arousal and ejaculation occurs. At this time, sperm is released and sexual arousal subsides.
- A girl does not always get an orgasm for the first time. If this does not happen, then after the main act, her partner can help her get pleasure with the help of additional caresses.
The last stage should be a discussion of the first sex between partners. Each of them should share their feelings, show affection and gratitude towards their partner, and express their wishes for the next time.
Key Features
Young people of both sexes need to understand how their bodies work. To do this, it is worth learning more about anatomy (both male and female) and physiology.
One of the best ways to get to know your own body is through masturbation. Even at a young age, people can learn what activities bring them pleasure. In the future, this will help you get sexual satisfaction from sex with your partner.
Preparing a girl
The main thing a girl should do before her first sexual intercourse is to find a partner with whom she wants to do it. She must completely trust her boyfriend and be internally ready to part with her virginity without experiencing psychological stress. There must be a certain level of stress, but if a girl is very afraid, she simply will not be able to experience sufficient excitement to release lubricant.
Man's readiness
By the time a man has sexual intercourse for the first time, he should have a stable erection, when the penis becomes hard enough to be inserted into the vagina. Also, a young man must understand that he is responsible for his partner and for her feelings, as well as for all the consequences (contraception during the first sex is required).
Why is the first conversation so important?
Well, look: a client who makes purchases or contacts a company for services not for the first time, whatever one may say, is more loyal. He can forgive the manager for ignorance of organizational issues, turn a blind eye to the lack of goods in the warehouse, and so on. And all because he is confident that this company will serve him well and efficiently.
But if a client contacts you for the first time , he doesn’t know any of this. He doesn’t trust you yet, doesn’t know the name of the manager who constantly works with him - he just found your phone number and website in a search or came from another advertising channel. This means you need to win his trust. How?
Variety
There is a misconception that the first sexual intercourse must be classic vaginal - when the penis penetrates the vagina. However, in fact, the first time can be oral or anal, because deflowering for both partners is not only a physiological, but also a psychological milestone.
For example, a girl who has already had anal sex can hardly be considered a virgin psychologically, while the spit in her vagina may remain in place.
Oral
Oral sex is the satisfaction of a partner by caressing his genitals with the mouth (lips and tongue). A girl's caressing of a man's penis is called blowjob, and a man's caressing of the female genitals is called cunnilingus. Such sexual contact can be used as foreplay, when partners do not achieve orgasm, but only become aroused.
Vaginal
Vaginal sex is classic sex, when the penis enters the girl’s vagina. It is this option that is most preferable for the first time, since girls secrete lubricant, which facilitates penetration, and the hymen also breaks (or stretches).
Anal
Anal sex isn't everyone's cup of tea, but some couples find it very exciting. During such contact, the penis enters the woman’s anus; for comfortable penetration, a lubricant will be required (the anus does not secrete natural lubrication). This type of sex is undesirable for those who have never engaged in it before, since a lack of experience can lead to discomfort and pain for both partners.
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Is there pain on contact?
Despite popular belief, pain does not always accompany the first sex. A girl may experience discomfort if:
- insufficient natural lubrication;
- the girl is nervous and unconsciously squeezes her vaginal muscles;
- the man has a fairly large penis, which hardly fits into a narrow vagina;
- A girl’s hymen is not elastic, so it tears during penile penetration.
To reduce discomfort, you need to try to relax, take a more comfortable position and use a special lubricant to make the penis enter easier.
Choosing a partner
The choice of partner largely determines whether a guy or girl will like their first experience. There are several opposing opinions about what is better: to have sex for the first time with someone who has already had such experience, or with the same virgin.
There is no single solution here. The partner may or may not be experienced, but the main thing is to have trust in each other and really want intimacy. The girl should be confident that her boyfriend will be responsible and will not hurt her, and the man should trust his partner and feel that she is truly passionate about him and will not be embarrassed if he does something wrong.
Inexperienced
The first time with an inexperienced partner is an opportunity for a couple to get closer psychologically. By trusting each other, lovers will be able to have an unforgettable experience if everyone takes care of the comfort of their partner. At the same time, their inexperience will not hurt if people really trust each other and have at least a basic understanding of human physiology.
More experienced
A partner who has already had sexual experience can be a good teacher. The main thing is that he is sensitive to the one who loses his virginity with him, and is determined to help and support his beloved. It is important that both want sex equally, otherwise embarrassment and discomfort cannot be avoided.
Psychological techniques for first contact
Smile
We have already stopped at this point. Smile more often, smile sincerely - your mood will involuntarily infect the client and set him in a positive mood.
“We are a statement”
“She replaced the empty “you” with a heartfelt “you” - these words of Pushkin were about love. But replace “you” with the word “we”, and replace “by letting slip” with “consciously” - and we’ll get a ready-made psychological trick. Use the phrases “you and me”, “your product”, “in our case”, and so on more actively. Let the person feel involved in your company, realize his contribution to its development, and most importantly, feel a commonality of views and interests. You are no longer just a seller and a buyer, you are partners and equal allies, driven by one goal: to provide and buy a quality service.
Intonation
Study our article about emotional marketing - it tells in detail what consumer emotions marketers play on and for what purposes. If you press on the feeling of fear (buy an anti-aging cream if you don’t want to become old and wrinkled) - talk with one intonation. If it's positive emotions - pride, for example (I was the first to have this smartphone, I'm cooler than others!) - on the other.
We recommend studying books and watching videos on voice control. This will be useful to you not only in telephone conversations, but also during public speaking. Timbre, intonation, pace of speech - all this is important. Even when you speak with a client not in person, but over the phone, voice signals are perfectly read by your interlocutor.
Personal conversations
It is clear that you will not chat with a stranger about secret things. But if you structure the conversation in such a way that the client opens up a little and tells you more about himself, this will give you an additional trump card. This could be a story about a hobby, family, or work characteristics. The main thing is not to limit yourself to standard phrases, make it clear that you fully support and understand your interlocutor .
Mirroring
This method of making first contact works best during a personal conversation. You see your interlocutor and simply copy his posture and gestures. For example, he straightened his hair - you do the same. Smiled - smile back. This is how you send a nonverbal signal to the person: look, I agree with you, I think and do the same as you. This trick really works. If a person is not very keen on making a deal or purchase, he moves away and you feel it - start mirroring. As soon as you understand that the client has relaxed, move on to the next question. And if he, in turn, starts mirroring you, that means the test has been passed and contact has been successfully established.
All this can be done during a telephone conversation or a conversation on Skype. Adapt to the pace of the client’s speech, the speed and intonation of his voice, remember his words and expressions and use them in conversation. The main thing is to show that you and your interlocutor are on the same wavelength.
Possible consequences
Sex is not only pleasure, but also a great responsibility. If you do not follow safety rules and do not protect yourself, then after the first time you may encounter unpleasant consequences.
Pregnancy
Unfortunately, many couples forget about contraception, believing that pregnancy will not occur after the first time. In fact, this is not true: the conception of a child can occur at any time when sperm enters the vagina. At the same time, coitus interruptus (COI) is not a reliable means of protection - sperm can be released even before ejaculation, when the penis is in the vagina.
The most reliable method of protection for the first time is condoms. In the future, the girl can start taking birth control pills, or use other methods - an intrauterine device or suppositories.
Injury to the mucous membrane
Damage to the mucous membrane can occur if a girl produces insufficient lubrication during sexual intercourse. The penis does not glide well and enter the vagina, which leads to pain, discomfort and microtrauma.
To avoid this, just buy a lubricant at the pharmacy and use it during sexual intercourse. This will help not only protect the mucous membrane from injury, but also make the first time more comfortable for both partners.
Make sure you have reliable protection
Infections and pregnancy - if these two factors are not desirable, before having sex for the first time, you need to take care of reliable protection. The best option is condoms. They should usually be bought by a young person. But a girl should also have at least one pack of such safety precautions in her purse, just in case.
It is better to purchase such protection in advance and put it under the bed or in a nearby nightstand so that you can use it at the right time.
It is better to buy classic condoms, not flavored ones, ribbed or with “mustaches,” but classic ones. Moreover, it is better to do this not in a supermarket, but in a pharmacy, where each product is carefully checked.
Changes after first sex
After their first sexual intercourse, both women and men begin to feel differently. This manifests itself both physically and psychologically.
Among women
When a woman has sex for the first time, her body begins to rebuild. He understands that conception is now possible and prepares to perform his reproductive function.
The psychological aspect of deflowering is of great importance. It is important that the girl does not regret what she has done and does not feel “dirty” or “sinful”. To do this, parents and her partner need to create a comfortable environment around her and explain in time that sex is a natural and pleasant process in which there is nothing immoral.
Physiological
After the first sex, a girl’s hymen changes (if it was there initially): it can tear or simply stretch. Many women, once they become sexually active, find it more comfortable to use tampons during menstruation.
Missionary position: varieties, advantages and disadvantages
Also, having sex for the first time can affect your menstrual cycle: it may be a little off. This occurs due to hormonal changes that occur within a few days after sexual intercourse.
Emotional condition
Emotionally, after the first time, a woman feels that she is already an adult and ready to take responsibility. The simplest example is that she quite consciously engages in sexual contacts and takes care that an unplanned pregnancy does not occur.
In some cases, girls experience a depressed state after the first sex. This is due to psychological barriers and foundations imposed by society. In such cases, a girl needs support and attention from her partner to make her feel loved and desired.
In men
For young men, sexual intercourse is the first step into adulthood. They learn to receive and give pleasure, and also take care of their partner as if they were a physically weaker person.
Psychological aspects
For young men, having sex for the first time is a source of pride. They feel mature and attractive to women, and they will definitely try to tell their friends about their successful experience. For self-affirmation, guys don’t necessarily have to share the details of their intimate life, because it’s enough for their peers around them to know what “he already had.”
Physiology
Unlike girls, deflowering of men is not accompanied by microtraumas. After the first sexual intercourse, a change in hormonal levels occurs, but the man does not experience discomfort (such as pain in the lower abdomen in girls).
Women's site www.wewomen.info - beauty, health, nutrition
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Casino-style home party: plan for creating and holding
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Las Vegas, excitement, gambling clubs, roulette, croupiers, slot machines, clinking coins, ladies and gentlemen in chic suits and dazzling smiles. What do you imagine when you hear the word “casino”?
Perhaps each of us is a little gambling person by nature. And if it’s not possible to go to America, going to a real gambling club is expensive. And if you’re tired of boring gatherings on the occasion of the next celebration, it’s time to show your imagination and organize a party at home in the “casino” style.
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Stylists are convinced that the ideal basic dress that should be in every girl’s wardrobe, regardless of body type, age, occupation and style, is a sheath dress. Since modern fashion offers a large number of variations on the theme of such a classic style, you can always choose the right model for yourself.
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How to make your first time safe
To ensure that first sex becomes a step into the world of pleasure, and not an annoying experience that you want to quickly forget, you must follow basic safety rules.
Be sure to talk
Both partners must be ready for sex: both physiologically and psychologically. You definitely need to discuss your lack of experience, your expectations and fears. This is necessary so that partners trust each other and can relax during sexual intercourse. Any omissions will lead to the guy or girl being embarrassed and unable to have fun.
Comfortable location
First sex should take place where the couple can relax. It is necessary to organize an intimate atmosphere so that no one interferes with privacy. You can add romantic elements such as candles, soft music or flowers.
Take care of contraceptives and lubricants
You need to take care of additional lubrication and the availability of condoms in advance; all this can be bought at a regular pharmacy. If a couple cannot even discuss how they will protect themselves, it is probably too early for them to have intimacy. It is necessary to agree on who will buy the contraceptive and lubricant, and discuss in advance what exactly is suitable for the partner (we are talking about the size of condoms and the different effects of lubricants).
Agree on a safe word
The safe word is relevant for those couples who already have a regular sex life and want to try to diversify it with role-playing games or BDSM. For those who are about to get intimate for the first time, you just need to discuss how you can let your partner know if something goes wrong.
Don't start without foreplay
During foreplay, partners become excited and open up to each other, so it’s impossible to do without foreplay. Even if a man already has a fairly strong erection, he must make sure that the girl is also well aroused (this is important so that a sufficient amount of natural lubrication is released, facilitating the entrance of the penis into the vagina).
Don't lose eye contact
Constant eye contact is an important psychological moment. It helps partners feel each other's bodies better and open up sexually. It is most comfortable to maintain eye contact in the classic missionary position.
Simplicity and no imagination
It is better to try unusual sexual games and realize complex fantasies when the couple has already had repeated sexual contact and has more or less studied each other. The first sex is better to be classic vaginal, without complex elements. This way, partners will be able to fully open up to each other, which will contribute to the success of further sexual experiments.
TIPS FOR YOUR FIRST KISS WITH A WOMAN
Well, now - be sure to read to the end.
And be sure to use it.
Because it works!
TIP 1: LIPS
You need to prepare for a kiss not only psychologically, but also physically. The main object in this matter is the lips. They should be attractive and soft. There is no need to immediately make an appointment with a plastic surgeon or give up on kissing.
You can take care of your lips yourself at home.
First of all, drink the normal amount of water for your body. Stay hydrated. The whole body and lips, in particular, suffer from this.
From lack of water they become rough, rough and crack. Deep cracks may form from which blood will flow. Such wounds often get infected, which leads to various diseases.
A kiss with lips like that will definitely cause disgust.
Secondly, use chapstick. Unfortunately, they haven’t yet come up with a brutal masculine name for these hygiene products, so men shy away from this advice like the plague: “Paint your lips? Me, which of these...? No way!”
I want to say right away that hygienic lipsticks are created not for beauty, but for health. Women just slightly adapted them to suit themselves, adding color and flavor. These products protect the skin from drying out and chapping.
Many men use hygienic lipsticks without color or scent. You can buy them at a pharmacy or cosmetic store at a very affordable price.
It is best to buy several pieces at once, because these small tubes tend to get lost at the most inopportune moment.
Always keep chapstick on hand. You can use it just before a kiss and then your lips will be perfectly soft.
Thirdly, avoid mechanical damage. Most often this occurs from such a bad habit as biting or chewing your lips. Naturally, it is unrealistic to get rid of a long-term habit in one day, but it must be done.
Try to motivate yourself. Every time you want to bite your lip, think that tomorrow you will have to kiss the girl of your dreams. You may have other incentives, but the main thing is the result. Kissing wounded lips is disgusting and dangerous to health.
Try to keep your lips soft, moisturized and healthy, because there is no telling when “that” moment of intimacy may come.
TIP 2: CONTROL
By nature, all men are leaders. They are required to control any situation. This also applies to intimacy with a woman.
Although young ladies are fighting for equality, everyone dreams of a guy with whom they can feel weak and defenseless . Historically, the man is the head of the family. Of course, now you can find different models of relationships.
The behavior of some representatives of the stronger sex can be embarrassing. But still, “man on top” is considered the most familiar and correct model of relationships.
The same applies to our topic about how to kiss a girl for the first time. A man must “lead” the girl, like in a dance , and completely control what is happening.
In our situation, “dominance” does not mean rudeness or violence. The kiss should definitely be gentle, especially if it is the first.
To achieve control, place her bottom lip between yours. Yes, it will turn out that you are below her upper lip, but it is this position that will allow you to dominate during the kiss.
Other poses are less controlled. If you already have experience in kissing, then you will understand what we are talking about.
Let your girlfriend feel that you are in complete control of the situation. This is very exciting and excites the imagination. She definitely won't resist such a temptation.
There is one problem with this advice. Most often the man is taller than the young lady. The difference in height can be impressive and it will be very uncomfortable to stand in such a position. In this case, you can put the girl on a step or do it while sitting. You just need to tilt the girl's head back a little and then start the kiss.
TIP 3: EYE CONTACT
Eyes are much more eloquent than lips. It’s not for nothing that all girls’ stories begin with the words “he looked at me like that” or “he undressed me with his eyes.”
This is why it is so important to maintain eye contact, especially before kissing. Of course, there is no need to openly stare at the young lady. This will cause her discomfort and the continuation can be forgotten.
Before you kiss a girl for the first time, look into her eyes for a couple of seconds. Your gaze should be deep and exciting. A woman should read in it the words “I have wanted it for so long and will finally do it.”
If a young lady sees in your gaze “baby, kiss me, because I’m so cool,” she will lose all desire to continue. From such an attitude you can get not just a refusal, but also a serious slap in the face. It will then be extremely difficult and, most likely, impossible to regain trust and convince the young lady.
Also, eye contact can determine whether a girl now wants to kiss you or not. When you hypnotize her with your eyes, she obediently waits for a kiss. If at the moment of approaching her she looks away, then you should stop. Thus, she breaks the connection between you and steps aside.
This development of events does not mean that she does not like you . Perhaps she doesn't want to rush things. Therefore, you should not immediately get upset and think that everything is lost.
You might ask, “Did I do something wrong?” and, most likely, you will find out the reason for her refusal. At this moment you must be calm. Any irritability, and especially aggression, will push the girl away from you forever.
TIP 4: FACE
By focusing on your lips, you can forget about your face. It will be a big mistake. The manipulations you perform with the girl’s body will set the tone for the upcoming kiss and your relationship in the future.
You will never know how to kiss a girl correctly for the first time if you do not pay attention to all parts of her body. Young ladies really like it when strong male hands touch their faces. Taking her face in your hands, you seem to completely subjugate her to your will, leaving no choice, making it clear who is in charge here.
In such a situation, it is better for the girl to relax and have fun, and her partner will take care of the rest. This can't help but excite.
Psychologists say that a kiss accurately determines a person’s character. If a young lady feels your strength, control over the situation and gentle approach, this will tell a lot about you as her future boyfriend.
You can not only support her head, but also caress her neck with your thumbs. Feeling her goosebumps, you will understand how to decide on your first kiss with a girl. Her inaction will be a clear sign for action. If she pulls your hands away, it means you’ll have to wait a bit with intimacy.
By allowing you to go further, the girl shows her submission and gives you full control over your first kiss. Don't miss this moment and take action.
TIP 5: TENDERNESS
This has already been mentioned more than once in previous paragraphs. But we still need to talk more specifically about how to kiss a girl first without being too rude.
Kisses can be divided into two types:
- Soft.
- Passionate.
This tip is dedicated to the first type. Soft kisses are like a demo version of upcoming intimate caresses.
Later you will learn much more about the sexual preferences of your chosen one, but you should not reveal all your possibilities just yet.
The first manifestation of your feelings with the help of gentle touches is suitable for absolutely all couples. Since you are still not sure how best to kiss a girl for the first time and what exactly she likes, I advise you to start with a soft kiss.
This type is suitable even for situations when you are not alone and you are surrounded by people. Using more explicit kisses in front of others is, at the very least, uncivilized. Moreover, if your girlfriend is modest, then you will put her in an awkward position, and this will only harm your relationship.
How to kiss a girl for the first time using a soft kiss? To do this you need to follow simple rules:
- Smoothly approach her face. At the same time, do not forget to maintain the eye contact mentioned above.
- Place your lips in relation to hers in a controlling position.
- Softly and slowly press your lips to her lower lip. This should be done as gently as possible.
Here the emphasis is on sensitivity and romance, so it is advisable to choose the right atmosphere.
There are two angles that are designed for soft kissing:
- Vertical.
- 45°.
VERTICAL SOFT KISS
Place your faces parallel to each other. Kiss her lips in this position, but do not forget to tilt your nose a little to the side. This will help avoid collisions.
This approach is good for short kisses between conversations. You won't have to turn your head every time you need to say something.
SOFT KISS AT A 45° ANGLE
When you don’t want to talk, but completely surrender to your feelings, you can adjust the position of your faces. The optimal tilt angle is 45°. In this way you can check whether the young lady wants to respond to your actions. If she tilts her head approximately 45° in the opposite direction, it means that everything is going according to plan and a kiss cannot be avoided.
Usually this type of soft kiss smoothly turns into a passionate one with further continuation.
As for how long the first kiss with a girl should be, it’s up to you to decide. But I advise you to always finish a minute before you both get tired of it. If you are approaching sex, then soft kisses need to be gradually replaced by passionate ones.
TIP 6: PASSION
Where would we be without passion in our time? It is an essential emotion in all normal relationships.
If a soft kiss tells about your feelings, then a passionate one makes it clear to the young lady that you desire her sexually.
Suppose you are on a walk and you really want to drag your chosen one to your home. But you're not sure if she's ready for such a development. It's time to check it out and apply a passionate kiss.
If the girl is not ready to move on to a new stage of your relationship, then she will try to pull away slightly and return to a soft kiss.
It also happens that your companion is so excited that the only way to help her is to bring her to orgasm with kissing and petting.
If you just met at a club and are counting on quick sex without obligations , then you simply cannot do without such a manifestation of your desire. The young lady may “burn out” on the way to you. Therefore, on the road, you must definitely fuel her desire with passionate kisses.
How to kiss a girl for the first time in an original way using a passionate kiss:
- This kiss involves not only the lips, but also the face.
- Just working on your lips won't be enough. Your face should be pressed against hers.
- Passionately bite her lips with yours.
- Perform movements based on your woman's actions.
- You must “eat” it with your lips, but not cause pain.
- If you want these kisses to lead to sex, then don't stop.
- A short kiss will help blow off some steam and relieve excitement.
- It is better to support your chosen one, as she may relax too much.
TIP 7: WITH YOUR TONGUE
To be or not to have tongue in first kisses? That is the question. But the answer is not so simple.
I recommend avoiding tongue activity in soft kissing. An exception is that if you are counting on further sex, then you can use your tongue a little when moving from a soft to a passionate kiss.
How to start your first kiss with a girl using tongue and not embarrass yourself:
- Start with a soft kiss. It is described in previous tips.
- Open your mouth slightly and lick her lips with the tip of your tongue. Under no circumstances do this for a long time. This is just a hint that you want to taste it. Then she must reciprocate or stop you.
- If the girl does not share your desire, then she will continue to kiss with her mouth closed.
- If you feel that she opened her lips and gave you access to her tongue, you can safely move on to a passionate kiss. Such a manifestation of feelings can be regarded as foreplay.
Below are two examples of how to properly give a first kiss to a girl when using tongue:
- When her mouth is slightly open, explore it with your tongue. The best thing to do is to play with her tongue. Of course, you can lick her teeth and the back of her cheeks, but I advise you to still concentrate on the tongue.
- When you have found what you were looking for, you can play with languages a little. This can be done inside your mouths with pursed lips. Or move a little away from her lips, stick out their tongues and caress each other on the outside.
But there is one caveat. I recommend using your tongue immediately before sex. Otherwise, you can excite her so much that she will have to seek pleasure in the arms of other men. So, if you cannot immediately relieve her arousal with sex, it is better not to bring the young lady to such an intensity.
TIP 8: PRELUDE
Should kissing be foreplay? Undoubtedly, this is one of the components that leads to sex.
But should you do this on the first date? It all depends on the liberation of your lady. Sex on the first date has long become the norm and each of us wants to know how to kiss a modest girl for the first time, so that we can have sex with her later.
The kiss itself has the right to exist as an independent unit. This doesn’t mean that a greeting kiss must necessarily lead to bed. But all this can be changed by a small upgrade that will turn your lip contact into foreplay.
If you feel that the girl is already too excited, then you urgently need to satisfy her. When you don’t do this, the young lady will probably go looking for someone who will help her relieve this sexual tension. At the same time, she will only have a feeling of anger and resentment towards you for your neglectful attitude.
Of course, if you can control her arousal, then there shouldn't be any problems. But what to do if this line has already been broken and the girl is ready to give herself up? First of all, it all depends on the situation.
If this is an unfamiliar lady from the club, then I advise you to be frank with her. It is clear that the girl understands why you are calling her to your home. Yes, there is a huge risk of refusal, but consent can be obtained with a high degree of probability.
How to kiss a girl for the first time in your life and get her hooked on sex? To do this, you can follow the standard instructions:
- Choose an object and get acquainted. We will not delve into this issue, since information on how to interest a stranger in a club can be read in my previous articles.
- Use passionate kisses. You can start with something gentle to get her permission, and then use only stimulating techniques with the tongue. This will let the girl know that you want her sexually.
- After the young lady is involved, start caressing her with your hands. But not too openly, because you are in a public place and this may embarrass her.
- If your hands have been given the green light, it’s time to ask an exciting question: “Should we go to a more secluded place?”
The downside is that even after all this foreplay, the woman may refuse. You can try to arouse her again and repeat the question. But be prepared to look for another sex object for one night.
As for the more inaccessible young ladies, here you can’t even count on quick sex. Such girls value themselves, which attracts men when choosing a partner for a long-term relationship.
TIP 9: TACTILE CONTACT
The art of seduction involves touching and caressing.
A woman is a continuous erogenous zone. Every man should know how to kiss his girlfriend for the first time and give her bright emotions.
Of course, kisses are good, but none of them will go well if you keep your hands behind your back and do not caress the young lady.
Where should you put your hands during the first kiss ? If a girl allowed you to touch her lips with a soft kiss, then you automatically received permission to stroke such areas of her body as:
- Waist
- Back
- Neck
- Hips
- Hands
- Stomach
- Head
If she is involved in a passionate kiss, then the range of your touches expands greatly. This includes caresses of such body parts as:
- Buttocks
- Breast
- Crotch
- Inner thighs
Don't forget that the environment plays a huge role. It is unlikely that your companion will like caresses between your legs if you are surrounded by people.
TIP 10: SELF-CONTROL
We've already touched on the topic of control, but this tip is a little different from the previous ones. If earlier we figured out how to kiss a woman for the first time and at the same time control her, now we will talk about self-control.
I always advise ending the kiss first. The young lady should remain a little “hungry” from your lips and want a repeat. But it can be very difficult to stop in time, because a girl can be very hot and excite you to the limit.
A man who knows how to control himself in any situation always excites a woman. It is difficult to stabilize your arousal, but it is possible. This may take time and experience.
If a girl ends the kiss, it means that she is in control of the situation. In this case, the man is not in charge and cannot fully conquer the young lady. Believe me, each of the girls wants to be under your control.
If you are trying to finish a soft kiss, then do it slowly and gently. With the passionate type, you should suddenly move away from her lips, as if something is stopping you, but you don’t want to stop the kiss. It will be very sexy.
So, we now know how the first kiss with a girl should go, but what to do next?
TIP 11: AFTER ACTIONS
The ending of the kiss is always significant. Usually, it sets the mood for subsequent conversation or further meetings.
It is unlikely that a girl will want to see a man again who behaved rudely during a kiss.
You can’t have a romantic conversation, then press your lips to hers, and then silently get up and leave. You will forever be remembered by her as a psycho.
After the kiss, be sure to return to the conversation. Pretend that what happened is not what you were striving for. If a young lady sees a man in front of her who is drooling over her, then questions about his sexual experience will disappear by themselves.
If you control yourself, then this is not the first kiss in your practice and you are in demand among women. And this also captivates girls, since they always want popular guys.
To end a kiss in a romantic way, you need to follow some rules:
- You gently stop the kiss.
- You move away from her, but don't lose eye contact.
- You look first into the eyes, then at the mouth, and then return your gaze to her eyes.
- You lean a little towards her and quietly say something along the lines of: “Your lips are beautiful.”
Try to show with all your appearance that she managed to hook you and excite you, but you are still in control of this situation.
TIP 12: NEXT STEPS
If you liked the young lady and you want to continue your communication, then contact her via message.
Don't bother me. Write an unobtrusive SMS and let her know that you had a good time thanks to her. Offer to meet next weekend. After that, all you have to do is wait.
Don't call, give her a chance to think about her decision. If she agrees, then invite her to choose a date and time.
If there is no answer, then you can safely start looking for a new woman. Don’t be upset, because meeting this girl was useful for you. You were able to perfect your kissing technique even better and gain valuable experience.
Possible problems during first sex
Various problems and fears associated with first sex often worry both young men and girls. In order to relax and not think about them, you need to study the characteristics of your body in advance and be sure to discuss your fears with your partner.
Fast ejaculation
Having sexual intercourse too short is a common fear for many men. In fact, there is nothing unnatural about this, especially for those who are having sex for the first time. If a young man is very excited, then he can finish before the girl, and this should not be embarrassed. The main thing is to show attention to your partner and try to bring her to orgasm with additional caresses.
Lack of erection
Sometimes young men are let down by their penis during their first sex. This happens if a guy is too worried, so to get an erection back you need to try to relax. To solve the problem, you can distract yourself with some romantic gesture (for example, watch a movie with your girl or give her a massage) and increase the time of foreplay, and the excitement will come on its own.
Sex orgy: what is it and how does it work?
No fun
Not all girls orgasm their first time, and that's completely normal. The partner may finish earlier and even try to please with additional caresses, but if orgasm does not happen, then this should not be embarrassed. A girl just needs to pay more attention to studying her own body and understand what brings her more pleasant sensations.
Ridicule from a partner
For the first sex, you need to trust your partner, which means you shouldn’t expect ridicule or accusations of your inexperience from him. If there is no complete mutual understanding in the couple, then the time for intimacy has not yet come.
If someone in a couple is no longer a virgin, then he should know that his partner has no experience in sex. In such cases, support and attention from the beloved is very important, so that there is complete trust during the first intimate relationship.
Painful sensations
Many girls are afraid of pain during first sex. To reduce discomfort, you need to ensure a sufficient level of arousal (namely, do not skip foreplay), and also use a lubricant (additional lubricant, you can buy it at the pharmacy).
The girl should tell her partner about her fear so that he can be careful and not make sudden movements.
Psychological problems
In order for sex to be enjoyable, a person must be in harmony with his body. If you have any problems with accepting yourself, you need to consult a psychologist and eliminate them before your first sex. If this is not done, then after sex a person may feel sad, depressed and unwilling to repeat this experience in the near future.
How to have sex for the first time: tips for guys
Guys worry no less than girls before having sex for the first time. Therefore, you need to pull yourself together and be confident in your sexual power. To begin with, you should relax. A glass of champagne or wine will help with this. Just don’t overdo it with drinking, otherwise your first night together will turn into a complete nightmare. Next, invite the lady of your heart to a slow dance and start kissing her, gently stroking her neck, and then slowly begin to undress her.
Read: Female erogenous zones. How to excite your beloved
Once you find yourself in bed, don’t forget about caresses. After all, they are the ones who will help a woman tune in to intimacy, as well as feel tenderness and trust in her partner. Caress her neck, chest, stomach, and then go lower to the genitals and start massaging them. This will help arouse the girl: her vagina becomes wet, which will help the penis penetrate inside faster and easier.
Once you have warmed up your partner sufficiently, place her on her back and carefully place the condom on your penis. During sex, you need to move slowly and as carefully as possible so as not to hurt your partner. Most likely, your first sex will not go as you expected. But this is only the first experience. Next will be even more interesting and better.
Common Mistakes
Inexperienced partners may make several common mistakes during their first sexual encounter that will hinder their enjoyment.
Excessive sharpness
All movements of a man during the first sexual intercourse should be smooth and careful. It must be remembered that a virgin’s vagina is not used to accepting bulky objects, so it will expand gradually. Sudden movements can cause injury to the mucous membrane, which can overshadow the impressions of the first experience.
Deep penetration
Excessively strong penetration of the penis into the vagina during the first sex can cause discomfort in the girl. It is necessary to proceed carefully and move gradually. If pain occurs, then you need to reduce the rate and depth of penetration of the penis into the vagina.
Stiffness of partners
Some stiffness may occur during the first sexual contact; this is absolutely natural. However, partners should not close themselves off from each other and do something for which they are not ready. It is better to discuss all possible fears in advance, and during sex try to get pleasure and also give it to your partner.
Lack of protection
One of the most common mistakes during first sex is lack of protection. The hymen, interrupted coitus or douching do not protect against pregnancy or various diseases. Suitable protection for first sex is a condom, which will not only eliminate the possibility of conception by 99%, but will also protect against possible diseases of the reproductive system and an aggressive reaction of the mucous membrane to the microflora of the partner.
Alcohol
Drinking a glass of wine to relax is a good idea. But you shouldn’t drink too much before your first sex. This will cloud the mind, which can lead to rash actions, and can also prevent the emergence of arousal in both the man and the girl.
No break
Those girls who received microtraumas during their first sex will need to take a break before their next intimate encounter. It is advisable that at least 5-7 days pass for the mucous membrane to recover and be physiologically ready for new contact.
Dispelling myths about first sexual intercourse
Unfortunately, teenagers often fall victim to misinformation - common myths that prevent them from building harmonious sexual relationships with their partners. Such myths include:
- “If a girl remains a virgin for too long, then after a certain age she will be haunted by headaches.” This is a false fact - headaches have nothing to do with whether a woman has sex life or not.
- “The first experience determines further sexual temperament.” After the first time, people experience certain emotions that can affect their behavior and attitude towards sex. However, this does not mean that this experience will haunt them all their lives - everything can be corrected with the help of a psychologist and harmonious relationships.
- “Women always break their hymen during first sex.” This is a common myth, because not all girls have this film inside the vagina. For some, it may be elastic and stretch away from the penis, but not tear. Also, blood may appear not during sex, but several hours after it, or even during the next time.
The concept of golden shower in sex, its varieties and rules
Before having sex for the first time, a teenager should familiarize himself with the characteristics of his body and read about his physiology, as well as how the body of the opposite sex works. Then common myths will not prevent you from having a successful first experience.
How is the thesis defense carried out?
The thesis defense usually takes a very long time. For about half a day, students and a committee will have to sit and listen to each student. You must know in advance the order, who is following whom.
Students gather first. They take their seats and begin to prepare or communicate. Everyone needs to turn in their flash drives with presentations in advance and test them so that there are no hiccups later.
Then a commission of teachers comes.
At the exact time, the chairman of the commission greets all those present and opens the meeting.
After this, each student goes to the department and begins to read his report, accompanying it with a presentation. Several hours pass in this way, and then the commission evaluates each speaker.
As you can see, there is nothing special here. Thus, few people like defending their thesis because they have to sit in one place for several hours without a break. There's really nothing to be afraid of here.
Opinion of sexologists and psychologists
All sexologists and psychologists agree that it is worth losing your virginity when a person is internally ready for it. If you are unsure of your desires or your partner, then there is no need to rush, you can wait for a more favorable time.
You shouldn't have sex because others are doing it or because "it's time." Everything should happen on time, and not under the pressure of public opinion. Don’t be afraid to express your desires (or lack thereof), because each person is individual and can reach maturity for first sex at different ages.
Protect yourself
This rule applies not only to virgins. If you do not have plans for pregnancy, if you are not 100% sure that your partner does not have sexually transmitted diseases, then even more so, do not forget to use a condom.
We recommend that you read:
- Ineffective contraceptive methods
- Barrier contraception methods
- Why does it hurt in the lower abdomen?
Advice from experts
Professional psychologists believe that sexual education is very important for young people. If they have enough information, they will be able to avoid mistakes and learn to receive and give pleasure from the very first sexual contact.
Guy
For guys, sex is a responsibility. They must take into account that their actions directly determine whether their partner will experience discomfort and pain. It is also necessary to always remember about protection and not to commit rash acts: due to insufficient contraception, unwanted children appear for which the couple is not ready.
To the girl
Before their first time, girls should understand that there is nothing immoral or sinful in sex. This is a natural interaction between people of the opposite sex that brings pleasure to both. And to avoid consequences such as unplanned pregnancy or genital diseases, you must always use reliable contraception.
How to stop being afraid of your first time with a guy: love yourself first
A slightly deeper problem is embarrassment and dissatisfaction with one’s body. Fear for the first time is caused by complexes that make you feel ashamed of yourself. He will see me completely naked, notice every centimeter of my body, discover flaws... No, in such a situation I don’t want anything anymore!
Unlike the reasons described above, this cannot be solved so easily. Although there is still one way - have sex in the dark, then there are no risks.
But it is impossible to indulge in carnal pleasures all the time with the lights off; at some point you will have to come out of the shadows. And going to the gym can, of course, fix the body, but what to do with complexes?!
You need to love yourself and learn to accept your body. If you can’t change your beliefs on your own, then going to a psychologist can help.
You need to do this differently and you will spend your whole life thinking about how to stop being afraid of your first time with a guy. Many maintain their innocence until death. Don't do this.
Answers to frequently asked questions
Lack of knowledge about sex often leads to problems. If people do not know the peculiarities of their own physiology, then they will not be able to make love safely. Below are answers to frequently asked questions about sex: you should familiarize yourself with them so that during and after the first sex the couple has no reason to worry.
Can't a girl get pregnant during her first sex?
Maybe this doesn’t happen so rarely anymore. It makes absolutely no difference to the uterus and sperm what time a girl has sex - they can and will perform their reproductive function, so you should always use contraceptives.
If a girl doesn't have an orgasm, then she can't get pregnant?
Pleasure during sex and the process of conceiving a child are in no way connected. A girl can become pregnant even if she has not had an orgasm - it is enough that the man ejaculated when the couple did not use contraception.
If a girl pees after sex, will she not get pregnant?
The only way to avoid pregnancy is to use contraceptives. The process of urination will not in any way prevent sperm from entering the uterus, so be sure to use protection during sex.
If a girl takes a shower and washes herself well after sex, will she not get pregnant?
Sperm penetrate the uterus deep into the vagina, where no shower can reach. Water procedures will not help avoid pregnancy, but contraceptives will.
If you have sex on non-dangerous days or during menstruation, will the girl not get pregnant?
There are no dangerous or non-dangerous days. Depending on your cycle, there are periods of increased or decreased chance of getting pregnant, but a healthy body can perform its reproductive function on any day.
If a guy doesn't cum inside a girl, won't she get pregnant?
This method of protection even has its own name – coitus interruptus (COI). It is not reliable and often leads to unplanned pregnancy because sperm may be released from the penis before ejaculation. A reliable method of protection is the use of condoms or oral contraceptives (prescribed by a doctor).
Is it possible to continue sex if a girl has an orgasm faster than a guy?
Yes, but only if the girl herself does not experience discomfort from this.
After orgasm, women's natural lubrication ceases, so additional lubricant may be required. The first sexual experience is not always the way a guy or girl imagines it. However, this does not mean failure at all: if something went wrong or did not meet expectations, you need to talk about it. All dubious issues should be discussed gently so as not to hurt your partner’s feelings. If a couple has a trusting relationship, and the partners know how to listen and hear each other, then over time they will learn to do everything for mutual pleasure.
Genophobia: the essence and symptoms of the disorder
It should be pointed out that fear as such is a natural and normal reaction of a healthy body. However, the biological nature of a living creature does not imply and rejects the presence of fear of sex. Fear of sexual intercourse is not a protective “idea” of nature. Genophobia is an irrational, groundless, inexplicable fear without any basis.
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However, such a disorder exists, and fear of intimacy in varying degrees of severity is inherent in almost 15% of the world's inhabitants. And this indicator only reflects the number of people who overcame their shame and shared their existing problem with doctors. How many people actually experience an obsessive and uncontrollable fear of sex - science does not know for sure.
Genophobia is a rather peculiar phenomenon. This term refers to various abnormal conditions associated with a person’s sexual life. This disorder may manifest itself as an exaggerated fear of engaging in sexual relations for the first time. This phenomenon is most often characteristic of young girls who have no previous experience of intimate contacts.
Genophobia can also manifest itself as a gigantic fear of sexual life in general. A man or woman suffering from this type of disorder has usually had sexual experience. But due to some conscious or completely ununderstood circumstances, they are seized with panic horror at the mere thought of potentially possible sexual intercourse.
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Experiments in hypnosis: hypnotic phenomena in deep hypnosis (somnambulism). Hypnosis training
A feature of genophobia is the conditions for the emergence of obsessive fear. Panic anxiety affects a person not only directly when meeting a representative of the opposite sex. The phobia “rewards” the person with painful suffering when she hears any talk about sex, sees scenes of intimate meetings on television, or reads stories describing intimacy.
Panic horror paralyzes the sick subject when he has thoughts about the upcoming “bed” continuation of the relationship with a cute and beloved partner. Such an individual may wake up in a cold sweat if scenes of intimacy appear in his dreams. Genophobia is a strange phenomenon also because a sick person may experience tender, fiery feelings for his chosen one, but he cannot decide on the logical continuation of a love relationship because of overwhelming and uncontrollable fear.
Genophobia not only complicates a person’s life and does not give the opportunity to experience all the beauty of being on earth. An obsessive fear of intimate life prevents normal relationships with the opposite sex, does not allow you to start a family and have descendants. Genophobia often deprives a person of the meaning of life and forces him to think about the meaninglessness of existence, causing the patient to contemplate suicide.
Another danger of this disorder is that the pathological fear of sexual activity cannot be overcome independently by using willpower. The fear of sex is firmly rooted in the subconscious of the individual, and, as we know, a person is not given the ability to consciously and purposefully control the processes occurring in this layer of the psyche.
