How to behave in society: basic rules of etiquette for all occasions

As etiquette consultants say: Bring good manners with you at all times. The rules of etiquette must be followed everywhere, be it going to the theater, cafe, restaurant, cinema, traveling on public transport, or even just a walk in the park. They are needed to ensure comfortable coexistence and interaction of people in society.

Etiquette norms are unified rules of behavior for certain situations. Behavior that is appropriate in a nightclub is unacceptable in the theater, and communication with close friends will always be different from communication when you first meet a person.

Understanding these norms for different situations and their correct application is an integral part of a person’s general culture. So, how should a cultured person behave? We will answer this question, but first we invite you to test yourself: do you now know how to behave correctly in different situations?

Now let's move on to the article. Let's start with the general rules of behavior in public places.

Etiquette in any public place

When in public places, remember the following:

If there is a need to stop in a stream of people, you should first step aside.
Don't push people aside if you need to pass.
If you accidentally hit someone or step on someone's foot, you should apologize.
You need to carry your things - a bag, a briefcase, a skateboard, a musical instrument - in such a way as not to touch others.
Garbage should be thrown into a trash can or taken with you to the nearest trash bin.
It is worth refraining from prolonged hugs and kisses, even between close people, lovers or spouses.
You should refrain from talking loudly, both on the phone and among yourself, if you are with a friend, spouse, or in a group.
You need to refrain from discussing household chores and the nuances of your personal life.
During communication, you should refrain from excessive gestures. Also, do not itch, rub your hands, or crack your knuckles.
A man walks down the street to the left of a woman. The exception is the military, who perform a military salute (salute) with their right hand.
Don't point your finger at people or objects.
You need to constantly monitor your children so that they do not disturb others.

A separate block should highlight the rules of etiquette in general premises.

What rules of communication do you try to use in your life?

Psychologists recommend the following set of communication rules for every day:

Show genuine interest in other people.
Smile.
Remember that for a person, the sound of his name is the sweetest and most important sound of human speech.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to tell you about themselves.
Talk about what interests your interlocutor.
Make people feel important to you and do it sincerely. This rule is the most important!

What rules of communication between people do you know, and which do you try to use in your life?
Please share in the comments. Yabrova Ksenia May 16, 2021

Etiquette in public premises

The rules of good manners and etiquette in general premises are as follows:

At the door, a man lets a woman go first, a junior lets a senior pass, and an ordinary employee lets a boss pass.
Of those equal in age and status, the one closest to the door goes first. If the distance to the door is the same, the one entering lets the one leaving.
You should hold the door if someone is following you.
If the doors have double doors, follow the “right-hand traffic” rule and leave the left door for those coming towards you.
The man goes down the stairs first, the woman goes up. If the stairs are dark or the room is unfamiliar to the woman, the man goes up the stairs first.
The side of the stairs near the railing should be given to women, elderly people and children. Of two people of the same sex, the younger one is inferior.
In the elevator, the person standing closest to the buttons must ask everyone else for the floor and press the necessary buttons.
The person who enters the room is the first to greet those who are already inside.
You should refrain from listening to music or watching movies without headphones.
You should not look at someone point-blank, even if you are interested in something about the person.
Women are allowed to keep their hat and gloves on indoors, but they must take off their cap and mittens.
Don't initiate a handshake in the restroom.

And now it’s worth saying a few words about etiquette in transport.

Rule 8: Weakness is also good

Don't be afraid to show that you don't know something or are struggling with something. Politely and unobtrusively ask people for help - they will like it, because many people have a “patron” living inside them who likes to look after others and help them. In addition, if you dare to let people know about your vulnerability (for example, that you are confused in endless corridors and cannot find a conference room), then it will be easier for them to open up to you too. Just don’t overdo it and turn into a helpless “lost” in their eyes.

Don't get lost

Rules of conduct in public transport

Even if you have long ago acquired a personal car, you should learn the rules of behavior in public transport. And even if you are traveling by bus from the exit of the terminal building to the plane, you should follow these rules:

Wait until everyone who was going to get off at the bus stop has gotten out of the vehicle, and only then enter the vehicle.
Wait until the empty seats are occupied by elderly people, disabled people, parents with small children, pregnant women, and only then take one of the remaining free seats.
You should only occupy one seat if you are traveling alone. Do not place your bag on the next seat, do not spread your legs wide, preventing you from taking the next seat.
If you see someone you know at the other end of the salon, greet them with a nod and a smile.
A man should get off public transport first, then offer his hand and help his companion get out.

No less interesting are the nuances of etiquette in establishments where you can have a snack and drink coffee.

Conclusion

Modern etiquette, as we understand it today, is a set of unwritten rules.
They are not mandatory, but they contribute to both respect from others and increased authority in one’s own eyes.
With some degree of convention, the rules of conduct are divided depending on the place of residence of a person, the type of his professional activity or status.
Currently, many of the rules of etiquette are questioned or simply not followed, which becomes a reaction to the rapid change in social norms.

Rules of conduct in cafes and restaurants

When you find yourself in a cafe or restaurant, try not to forget about the following:

The man is responsible for the companion’s clothes - he helps to take off a fur coat or coat and puts the companion’s outerwear in the wardrobe.
In the hall, a man helps his companion sit down by moving the chair, and only after that sits down himself.
While eating or waiting for your order, you should not place your elbows on the table. As an exception, a lady can put her elbows on the table for a short time, but not a gentleman.
You cannot place foreign objects on the table that are not related to the meal.
If you need to show any item - a phone, a book, something else - just pass it from hand to hand.
Applying cosmetics, combing your hair, and doing other things should be done exclusively in the restroom.
Don't talk on the phone at the table.
If you need to make or receive a call, apologize and leave the table.
It is acceptable to cough or sneeze into the crook of your elbow.
You should not take a transparent wine glass or glass with oily hands.

In fact, table etiquette is a much larger body of knowledge, and it may differ from country to country. It would be better if, before traveling abroad, you familiarize yourself with the rules of conduct in the country of your visit.

If the amount of information seems too large and difficult to remember, you can use mnemonic rules or associative memorization techniques. For example, it is known that bread should be on the left, drinks on the right. Fold your fingers into the Ok gesture, and the combination on your left hand will resemble the letter b (bread), and on the right - d (drink).

Books

Competent communication is now at a premium. Already from school, children absorb applications on smartphones faster than communication skills, or even basic expression of their thoughts. Therefore, in our technological age, it is important not to forget to read books. Use a selection of useful books:

Mark Goulston “I can hear right through you. Effective negotiation technique.”
Philip Zimbardo “How to overcome shyness.”
Jack Schafer “We turn on the charm according to the methods of the secret services.”
James Borg “Secrets of Communication. The magic of words."
Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
Robert Cialdini “Psychology of influence”.
Larry King: How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere.

Rules of conduct in the theater and cinema

Monitoring behavior is important and necessary, among other things, in places of leisure:

Arrive at the start of the performance and session on time, without being late.
Refrain from consuming food and drinks in the auditorium.
Turn off or put gadgets into silent mode during a movie show or performance.
Do not film what is happening if the organizers have prohibited filming.
Sit quietly, do not lean left and right or back and forth, so as not to disturb your neighbors and those sitting behind you.
Those who come together cannot sit with their heads on the shoulder of their companion, or with their heads tilted towards each other, because this disturbs the spectators sitting behind.
If two M+F couples come to a session or performance, in the auditorium the women sit in the center, the men on both sides, each next to his companion.
During intermission, move to the exit along the row facing those sitting, and not with your back.
You should not talk during a show or performance - you should wait until the end or intermission.
You should not gesture, sing along or beat the beat with your foot if music starts playing during a film or performance.

Let us clarify that for concerts the rules are more democratic. Many performers themselves ask the audience to sing along with them or shout out: “I don’t see your hands!” Many bands are even pleased if the audience knows the tests of their songs by heart. In addition, for example, not a single rock concert ever starts on time, so spectators being late is also acceptable.

A separate topic is communication etiquette when meeting people. There are also rules here.

Rule 6: Tell stories or instructive parables

This is necessary in order to convey your thoughts, draw conclusions, or lead your interlocutor to some thoughts. Many experienced networkers do this. You give the impression of a person with extensive knowledge and experience, moreover, in this way you can emphasize some idea expressed or even slightly embellish the facts. This is called storytelling. And human attention is designed in such a way that it remembers such interesting stories and accompanying information well. It is only very important that the parable or myth be told to the place and topic of conversation! If you have trouble remembering interesting episodes from your life or such stories, then train yourself to write them down somewhere and then re-read them . This way you will also train your memory.

Basic dating rules

By following these rules, you will not only be polite, but also make a good first impression on people:

When meeting, a man is introduced to a woman, those younger in age or position are introduced to the elders, those who came later are introduced to those who came earlier.
The person you are introducing the stranger to should be named first, and the person being introduced should be named second. For example: “Katya, meet me, this is Roman,” “Ivan Petrovich, this is Marina.”
When meeting, it is acceptable and advisable to clarify the type of occupation and/or the degree of your acquaintance with those whom you introduce to each other. For example: “Katya, meet me, this is my husband Roman. Roma, meet me, this is my friend Katya, we studied at the university together.”
The first person to shake hands should be the person to whom the stranger was introduced.
If they want to shake your hand while you are sitting, you should stand up or at least stand up slightly.

And finally, another important topic is business etiquette.

Rule 9: Expand your range of interests and knowledge

You can have an excellent understanding of physics or shipbuilding, masterfully maintain a conversation on these topics, but sit in a puddle as soon as the conversation turns to a just-published novel by a famous writer or about cars. You don't have to become an expert in all of these areas, and you won't be able to, but you should have some understanding of them. This will not only help you establish communication with different people, but will also open up a whole world of interesting things, concepts and hobbies for you. The easiest way is to read newspapers, choose one and look through it every day in the morning. Instead of newspapers there may be a website. Vedomosti, Kommersant, RBC, choose to your taste.

Basic rules of business etiquette

Essentially, this is a set of rules for communications in a work environment, mandatory for everyone, be it a big boss, a top manager or an ordinary employee:

Don't be late.
Always say hello, say “thank you” and “please”, and do not interrupt the other person.
Warn about your visit.
Before entering, knock or say “hello” if the door is open.
In business negotiations, try to express yourself clearly, concisely and clearly so that the essence of your message is extremely clear.
Refrain from excess slang and words of foreign origin, especially if the business meeting is attended by specialists from related fields who are not too familiar with the intricacies of your work.
Double-check written messages and correct errors before sending.
In instant messengers, do not split a long message into short ones - it is better to shorten the essence of the letter so that it easily fits into one message.
It is better to answer a phone call after the 2nd or 3rd ring.
If you are not answered after the 5th ring, hang up.
If the connection is interrupted during a call, the call initiator must call back.
Introduce yourself if you called from a new number.
You should notify about your video call in advance, for example, by text message.
During a video call, look at the other person, not at yourself in the camera.
The handshake must be initiated by the manager, including if the subordinates are women.
You are not supposed to kiss women's hands at business meetings.
Do not reveal or ask for trade secrets.
Do not discuss those who are absent, and especially do not speak badly about them.
Always ask permission from your business partners if you want to refer to them to third parties, indicate them in the list of partners on your website, or tell any incident with their participation in the public sphere.
For a business dinner, the person who invited you to dinner pays.

These are the basic rules of etiquette. We will not touch on all the rules of business communication - there are many of them, and they differ somewhat depending on the situation (communication with a client, boss or business partner). In principle, good manners and business etiquette are not so difficult.

Also, we will not dwell on the dress code rules - they may differ significantly for different areas. The clothing requirements for employees of a creative agency and a commercial bank are very different, and even within the industry it is worth clarifying the presence or absence of restrictions. In any case, clothes should be clean, look harmonious and match the accessories.

These are the basic rules of etiquette that must be followed. If your knowledge is much greater and wider, this is exclusively a plus for your karma. Moreover, you should learn special rules of behavior for those places that you visit often. For example, etiquette rules in a gym or fitness center. This will significantly facilitate your communication with others.

In addition, you can take our “Best Communication Techniques” program, and then you will be able to navigate absolutely any situation. We wish you interesting communication and effective communications and look forward to attending our programs!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
Golden rules of assertiveness
Conformism
Male and female complexes
What is social awkwardness and how to get rid of it
Attribution: Correspondence Inference
Norms and rules of morality
“Why men want sex and women want love” - Allan Pease, Barbara Pease. Summary of the book
How to work productively in the heat?
How to Deal with Difficult People
Factors of social interaction

Keywords:1Communications, 1Relationships

An example of communication psychology from the school curriculum

Read the tips below, which ones will you use when communicating with friends?

Be friendly and friendly.
Live in peace with each other.
Conquer evil with good.
Do good and do not be afraid of anyone.
Speak boldly about a good deed.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Win hearts with love, not fear.
Don't be afraid of the knife, but of the tongue.
Think, think about it, and say it.
Be patient with everyone for a long time.

Question:
Determine the type of sentences based on the purpose of the statement. Why are sentences of this type used here?

Answer:

Sentences No. 1, 2, 6, 9, 10 are motivating, they teach and advise.

Rule 13: Leave out the abstruse phrases

There is nothing strange in the desire to show off your intellect by adding a bunch of smart words and phrases to the conversation, but such communication is more appropriate at an interview or at important negotiations, where it is very important for you to show your expertise. When meeting someone, it is better to forget about the know-it-all and speak more simply. This way, the interlocutor will not have to strain frantically to grasp the meaning of what was said and pretend that he understood everything from your professional terminology. Show him respect and, if you want fruitful communication and mutual understanding, replace complex and confusing concepts with simpler and more understandable synonyms.

Rule 15: Address people by name

People like it when people around them do not address them as “You”, but call them by name . The sound of your own name often has a very beneficial effect on a person, helping to win him over. In addition, it has long been noticed that if five in a conversation, this slightly increases the chances of successful negotiations with him. This is especially useful if you have a poor memory for names: repeating the name will make it easier for you to remember it. Just be careful! It is best to use the name in the form in which the interlocutor himself told you it. That is, there is no need to call “Alexander Alexandrovich” “Sanya” - this will only cause bewilderment and negative emotions. If you are not sure how to address someone correctly, it is better to clarify this point with your interlocutor. This way you will avoid awkward situations in the future.

Contact by name!

Rule 18: You are responsible for your recommendations

Surely there are people in your “arsenal” who can help your new friend, and you can’t wait to introduce him to them (probably ). On the one hand, this is wonderful, but on the other hand, think about it. By recommending someone, you automatically take responsibility for this, and if the person turns out to be insufficiently reliable or does his job poorly, then you will also be to blame (a minus to your reputation). Don’t be afraid to talk about it, saying that you can introduce the right person, but have not yet had the opportunity to directly observe him in action and cannot judge how flawlessly he does his job. You will help a friend, bring together two people whose cooperation in the future can bring good results, and at the same time insure yourself from reproachful glances and reproaches in case of failure.

Maxim Chernov

PS. BONUS for the interview: Find out how to make, maintain and monetize useful contacts in the free video course on business communication here .

Rule 14: Don't get lost in thought

People who constantly maintain business contacts and communication are accustomed to analyzing a large flow of information and choosing the main thing from it, discarding the “husk.” Don't tire them out and reduce the amount of this "husk" to a minimum. If you do this, then those around you will be sure that you are a serious and purposeful person who values your time and the time of others. Attempts to approach the key issue from afar and utter a bunch of unnecessary information will reveal your uncertainty, shyness, incompetence and will tire your interlocutor. Leave flowery phrases, complex sentences and constructions. It’s better to say “Could you do that” than “I think that in this situation you should think about such and such action.”

Rule 10: Watch your interlocutor's emotions

Yes, it’s difficult, but it’s time to start learning. Watch a person’s gestures, facial expressions, what he does with his hands during a conversation (twirls a pen in them, fiddles with a tie, calmly puts them on the table), his eyes and the way he's sitting. Be a psychologist, learn to analyze these little things in order to correctly build your line of behavior. If you see that a person is worried, ask him about it unobtrusively and let him know that you are ready to help him. Just behave very delicately and carefully, people usually don’t really like being “read”.