Distinctive features
A well-mannered person is a person who uses expressions, intonation and tone in conversation that are conducive to friendly communication. Gestures, gait, and facial expressions also play an important role. You should be moderately modest, but not uptight and secretive. When you give your word, you need to be responsible for it, keep your promises, because you need not only to make a good impression, but also to consolidate it and maintain it for a long time.
The qualities of a well-mannered person help him communicate tactfully with others. There are specific instructions and tips that will help you get a fairly clear idea of the etiquette framework within which you will be considered a pleasant conversationalist and a welcome guest in any company.
Behavioral culture is paramount
A well-educated person does not necessarily have to understand the culture and distinguish Monet from Manet. But he must have an internal culture. It is better not to know who Gluck is, but at the same time live in purity, than to quote Derzhavin and at the same time live in a pigsty, walking around sloppy and dirty, with uncut nails. He doesn’t get piggy drunk, guided by the excuse “why not”, he drinks when he has the opportunity. This is a culture of behavior that is transmitted to both the culture of relationships and the way of life. A well-mannered man, when meeting a girl, will not make jokes about her outstanding charms; he will be as romantic and polite as possible. Chekhov called this “the ability to ennoble one’s sexual instinct.” Perhaps he changes partners like gloves, but he does not treat women as a means of self-satisfaction on two legs.
Correct communication
To begin with, you should not speak too loudly and use rude expressions, because your goal is not to outshout your opponent. If you have a dispute with someone, you should rely entirely on the logic and reasoning of your own position. A well-mannered person is a person who is able to assert himself through calm confidence in his own arguments, and not through emotional pressure on a competitor. Gestures should be calm and smooth; you should not make excessively sudden movements; they usually do not leave the most pleasant impression.
In fact, the people around you want to tune in to a wave of peace and harmony; deep down they will not forgive you if you want to disturb this state. In addition to the fact that you should not interfere with the peaceful life of others, you should also think about yourself. Keep track of your wardrobe. It is not necessary to dress in the latest fashion in the latest items from the most expensive brands, but a well-mannered person should at least control the cleanliness and neatness of his own clothes. There is nothing difficult about putting on only clean clothes, ironing them before putting them on, and cleaning your shoes.
And some other diagnostic methods
When studying the phenomenon under consideration, we must not forget that, by determining the level of education, the experimenter also diagnoses the moral essence of a person. In connection with this fact, individual conclusions about upbringing may include data reflecting all personality characteristics, because these qualities are closely interrelated.
Diagnosis of good manners also includes a biographical method, analysis of activity products, etc. It is worth noting that not a single technique is completely universal, because there are some requirements for their use. Therefore, if an experimenter wants to obtain voluminous, reliable data, he must use a number of methods and the entire range of diagnostic tools.
The Importance of Self-Control
Life does not always flow according to the scenario that we draw in our imagination. Sometimes it drives us into a dead end, causes stress, forces us to leave our comfort zone, but even then we should not lose composure, attributing everything to circumstances.
What kind of person is called well-mannered? Perhaps the one who, having stepped on a cat in a dark corridor, calls it a cat. That is, good manners should not be a mask for you, with the help of which you try to gain the trust of others. They should become the norm, a habit, the only acceptable way of communication.
Even if you didn’t share something with someone, your opinions differed from someone else’s in a dialogue, you are faced with a complete reluctance to take your arguments into account, you should not lose control. In such situations, the best advisor is the voice of reason, as well as previously learned ethical standards, which will help not lead the situation into an even greater dead end.
The rules of a well-mannered person exclude the manifestation of hostility towards other people. You can say that you have a different point of view, but under no circumstances should you make it personal. It is enough to conclude that you are not on the same path and go your separate ways without going into further details.
What qualities does a well-mannered person have?
When they say about a person that he is well-mannered, it means not only knowledge of the correct manners, but also the real essence of the person. What qualities should a well-mannered person have?
It is worth admitting that in the modern world, being a well-mannered person is a real art. Having self-esteem, responding to rudeness with a smile and keeping your promises is not an easy task.
A well-mannered person is polite, friendly, affable, well-groomed, attentive, punctual, neat, kind, unobtrusive, pleasant, you can rely on him... You can continue ad infinitum.
But all these qualities can be combined in one word - respect. A well-mannered person has the ability to respect. Respect other people, but first of all yourself. This is not selfishness at all. A necessary prerequisite for earning respect from others. Remember the "Broken Windows" theory?
Briefly, the theory is this: like attracts like. Clear non-compliance with social norms is very effective in provoking similar behavior on the part of other people. If you have been rude, then it is likely that you will also want to respond in a not at all polite manner. And only education will not allow you to sink to the level of a boor.
If a person does not respect himself, then, frankly, in most cases it is difficult for him to count on the respectful attitude of others. Simply because with his appearance, behavior, manner of speaking and the words he chooses to speak, he provokes people to treat him accordingly.
Imagine a cafe where you go for coffee. And suddenly, without asking permission, a stooped man with tangled hair, sloppy stubble and traces of breakfast on his clothes sits down next to you. What will you do? I suppose you will “vote with your feet”, as the English say, and try to find another free table.
One of the most important parameters of respect for yourself and others is respect for personal space. A well-mannered person never invades someone else's personal space unless he is invited there. Personal space is multifaceted. And it is very easy to break it if there is no habit of respect. After all, this is the physical distance between people, these are smells, and unwanted sounds, and questions that should not be asked.
I'll tell you an example from life. Recently we were at a party. A young man, heavily covered in cologne, who worked for the company that organized this party, approached us and, with his mouth full (we were really lucky with the snacks at this party), quite loudly began to ask where we work, what we do, what the annual turnover is, and whether I’m married friend. Without waiting for an answer, the young man began to tell us just as loudly about his personal life. Fortunately, the uninvited intrusion was interrupted by a musical number, during which we hurriedly fled to another room.
Self-respect also involves fulfilling obligations, both towards yourself and towards other people.
One of the most important commitments to yourself is to “stay in shape.” And physical, and moral, and intellectual. No one consciously wants to be a stupid, depraved, fat, rude man. But, alas, there are people who do not think about whether they respect themselves or not enough to take care of themselves.
A well-mannered person also cares about others. Caring and respect can take many forms. Not having the best day? This is not yet a reason to spoil the mood of others. Have you promised to come to someone's birthday? And then you changed your mind because a much more tempting invitation turned up? Don't be surprised if on your anniversary you find yourself at a richly set and pre-paid table alone. After all, it’s not just you who are presented with “more tempting” offers.
It is important to remember that like attracts like. A well-mannered person treats others the same way he treats himself—with respect.
Tatiana Koshechkina
sunny7
Show respect and courtesy
Respect in society must be earned and, most importantly, not lost in the future. What kind of person is called well-mannered? Someone who is always ready to listen carefully to anyone who turns to him for advice, or at least not to show obvious disdain. Sometimes it's difficult.
Everyone encounters situations when there is neither time nor desire to communicate with a specific person. At such moments, it is very important to deviate from the conversation tactfully so that the interlocutor does not leave an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul.
To be able to follow your interests without offending others is a great art, worthy of understanding and mastering, because it greatly simplifies life and opens up many opportunities.
What word can replace the word society?
Synonyms for the word "society"
- conversation
- ao
- community
- Lloyd
- union
- company
- organization
- partnership
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Don't humiliate yourself and don't impose yourself
You can also consider the opposite situation, when you need something, but they no longer want to communicate with you, for lack of the same free time or a banal craving for it. A well-mannered person is one who will not impose himself and put his own interests at the forefront. You can only offer your own company.
There is nothing wrong with asking others for a favor, but true tactlessness would be to extort them, accuse them of indifference, and so on. In essence, blaming other people is a lack of tact. In fact, such people blame others for the same things they themselves do.
If you try to achieve what you want using such methods, you can fall very low in the eyes of others, and then it will be very difficult to return a positive impression of yourself.
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Improving the social life of the individual
Thanks to the rules of etiquette, you can get an idea of how you should behave so that awkward situations and conflicts with other individuals do not arise. In general terms, they imply respect and benevolence during communication. In this case, the social position or position of the interlocutor should not play a significant role. Everyone is equally worthy of being treated properly.
Humanism believes that every human creation is inherently pure. Etiquette helps not to lose this inner light, maintain it within yourself and take care of the well-being of others.
Man is a creature for whom life in a society of his own kind is considered optimal. We are all closely connected. By insulting someone, you are discrediting yourself. A person whose upbringing and manners would not allow such a debasement would never do this.
By maintaining friendly relationships with other people, a person ensures his own peace. By respecting others, you value yourself highly. Those who assert themselves through rudeness and humiliation tend to have low self-esteem and do not consider themselves important.
Conversely, individuals who show respect for those around them feel quite confident and comfortable in society. The choice is yours.
Classification of education criteria
As mentioned above, the reference characteristics are the criteria of good breeding, which are currently divided into different subtypes. The most popular types will be presented in this article.
The first classification divides the criteria into 2 groups:
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1. Those that have a connection with phenomena that are not noticeable to the teacher - plans, motivational sphere and beliefs of a person.
2. Those that are associated with clarifying the external form of the products of education - judgments, assessments and actions.
The second classification divides the criteria into the following:
- Meaningful. They determine the extent to which the content side of education has been mastered (knowledge, social behavior, positive character traits and useful habits).
- Estimated. They are aimed at a clear diagnosis of an individual quality, that is, the level of its formation is determined.
The third classification identifies the following criteria for good breeding:
- Private. They are used to obtain intermediate results in the education process.
- Are common. They express the level of education that a team or individual has achieved.
What is it like to be educated?
Undoubtedly, a well-mannered person is endowed with good manners, which are embedded deep in his mind. At the same time, no matter how the circumstances develop, his behavior will remain unchanged. After all, some people tend to behave differently. This means that they will hold back in public and act extremely rudely towards their family.
What makes a well-mannered person stand out from the crowd:
1. It is pleasant to be around such people; they are charming externally and internally.
2. Such a person’s intelligence lies within.
3. A well-mannered person behaves delicately with all people, his words are always tactful.
4. A well-mannered person tends to show deep respect for others.
5. Such a person does not attract too much attention to himself; he knows how to listen and be a good conversationalist.
