- September 14, 2018
- Psychology of communication
- Marina Pislegina
How to behave with a psychologist if a person comes to see him? The answer to this question interests many citizens. Some people spend a very long time preparing themselves to visit a specialist, and come to see him only when the situation becomes absolutely hopeless. But why does this happen?
A person is simply afraid that the doctor will not be able to understand him. Nevertheless, all fears and concerns should be left in front of the psychologist’s office, and at the appointment you need to be yourself and conduct a dialogue in a way that is convenient for the person himself. Read more about all this below.
The main thing is to decide to go to the reception
In order for a specialist to truly help resolve an existing problem, it is important for the patient to understand how to behave with a psychologist. And first you need to decide to meet him in person. After all, it is impossible to express over the phone what can be explained well in words using eye contact.
Usually, thinking about whether to visit a psychologist can take too much time, which will be irretrievably lost. In this case, the problem may worsen, and it will be much more difficult to solve it for both the doctor and the patient. Experts say that people are often ashamed to talk about it because they are afraid of being misunderstood. However, before visiting a psychologist, you need to get unnecessary thoughts out of your head, otherwise the specialist will not be able to help his client.
There is no need to be afraid to talk about what causes fear and anxiety. Moreover, it must be remembered that severe emotional disorders do not go away on their own.
“Am I crazy, or what?”
– Many of us do not like to go to any doctors, and a visit to a psychiatrist is perceived as something prohibitive. Why? What stops people? After all, sometimes you can’t do without help.
– Firstly, people have little idea what psychiatric disorders are. Most consider only the most severe conditions or those “pictures” that they see in movies and TV series, or read about in books, as disorders. In fact, 80% of what we see in movies for the mass audience is a very approximate variation on the theme of psychiatry,
It is impossible to focus on what patients with mental diagnoses look like in art.
Second. Psychiatry has a bad reputation in Russia. We regularly get stories in the press about how someone was forcibly and harshly, in violation of their rights, “taken to a mental hospital.” Since many of them are true, I do not think that psychiatry should be written any differently. But these publications are unlikely to make the reader go to a neuropsychiatric dispensary with joyful hope.
In addition, our people really do not like to communicate with repressive authorities. And in the history of our country there is recent documented experience of how psychiatry was used to combat undesirables. The myth “I went to the PND and ended up in the KGB” is alive.
Therefore, people are more willing to turn to private psychiatrists or regular (somatic) hospitals. But in fact, the likelihood that you will be tied up and taken somewhere because you woke up in the morning and decided that life has been somehow hard for you for a year now and you finally need to go to the doctor is practically zero.
There are also people who are contemptuous of everything with the prefix “psycho-”. Many of them cannot distinguish a psychologist from a psychotherapist, but at the same time they are wildly afraid of even the very idea of seeing a specialist: “Am I crazy, or what?” People do not understand that from a psychologist to a psychiatrist is a huge path that they may never travel.
It is also important to understand that the treatment of mental illness is a long story. Often, upon hearing a doctor’s order: “Come back in a week,” patients turn around and don’t come back; I once did that myself. But if, for example, you had surgery on your finger, you will go through all the dressings until your drainage is removed and the wound heals.
It’s the same with a mental diagnosis - it cannot be correctly stated at one time, it can be specified, especially since many mental illnesses have common symptoms.
What to talk about with a specialist
How to behave with a psychologist so that the meeting is most fruitful? Usually, under such circumstances, everything turns upside down in the head, fear, excitement and anxiety overcome. In this case, you just need to calm down.
In addition, every person should remember that a competent psychologist will ask him the right questions. Therefore, you should not go over the dialogue with a specialist in your head in advance.
If, after the first session of communication with a doctor, a person felt that he could not understand him and, moreover, the conversation simply did not work out, then he should seek help from another specialist. Because in practice it often happens that not every psychologist with a higher education diploma is a professional who can help people solve their problems. This must be remembered, and the first failed attempt should in no case stop a person.
Basic terms of the therapeutic contract
A psychological contract is an oral agreement between a psychotherapist and a client about their intention to continue working within the framework of certain mutual obligations. Typically, the contract is concluded for 10 meetings - this is the minimum that can ensure the desired result of psychotherapy.
Frequency – 1-2 times a week (longer intervals affect the quality of the therapeutic process, shorter intervals are possible in acute crisis situations, or when there is a desire to make the process more intense).
It is important to understand that this is not a guarantee of obtaining results; this is the minimum period that is necessary for changes and consolidation of the therapeutic effect. Otherwise, a “rollback” often occurs. A psychological contract includes an agreement on the cost of services, the frequency of meetings, duration, visiting rules, passes, etc. The formation of the cost of services in private psychological practice occurs under the influence of various factors (the qualifications of the therapist himself, the cost of premises and advertising, the average cost of the service on the market) . The average price in Minsk can vary greatly: from $10 to $50 per hour of work.
I am skeptical about free consultations, so I have never looked for a free dentist, hairdresser, tailor, lawyer and other good specialists (free consultations can only be provided in public medical centers, but this is also associated with some restrictions).
Need to be frank
How to behave with a psychologist so that he can understand the real reason for what is happening to his client? So, you need to answer the specialist’s questions honestly and very frankly. Although this moment is not very pleasant, it is necessary to solve the entire problem, especially on the path of its study by a psychologist.
If a person, due to the presence of internal blocks, cannot be frank with a specialist, then he needs to honestly admit this to the latter. All your worries and anxieties need to be worked through together with a psychologist.
There are situations when the doctor himself will recommend that the client contact one of his colleagues.
If we compare psychotherapy with working out in the gym? Read information “for beginners”
Different specialists have their own rules , these include:
– time for the meeting (Standard session time is 50 minutes, no more, no less. By mutual agreement, you can increase the session time, but, as practice shows, 50 minutes is enough);
– lateness (If you have agreed on the exact time of your visit, then the session begins exactly at this time, your lateness to the session is included in the cost of the service. Try to arrive on time, exactly at the appointed time!);
– payment for passes (There is a deadline for warning about rescheduling a meeting, usually no later than 24 hours. If for some reason you were unable to notify in time about your absence or rescheduling of a meeting, this time is still paid in full. For some, such a rule seems too harsh, but, often, this is the only way to maintain therapeutic boundaries between the therapist and the client, otherwise there will be dozens of reasons not to come. The loss is borne by your therapist, who can no longer offer free time for another client, and this will affect his attitude towards you. After all, when buying, for example, a sports subscription, nowhere will they reimburse the cost of your passes. );
– mandatory last two meetings (you have the right to leave therapy at any time, but before doing this, inform your psychologist of your intention to end your meetings, give the opportunity to end the relationship without running away in the usual way);
– only you control the degree of your revelation and trust; – no matter how good and trusting relationships arise between the therapist and the client, no matter what intimate issues are discussed, however, these relationships are not destined to become friendly or personal, as is customary in everyday life, otherwise the therapy ends;
– meetings take place on the territory of the psychologist ; as a rule, home visits are not practiced, only if we are talking about non-walking clients.
Human behavior
Even those people who agree to go for a consultation with a specialist may stop only because they do not know how to communicate with a psychologist. Here it is important to tune in so that the doctor behaves as freely and comfortably as possible. You can talk about yourself standing or sitting down. Sometimes psychologists even suggest lying on the sofa in their office and relaxing.
The most important thing is that you should not be embarrassed to tell a specialist what you want, what seems very important and exciting. You need to be yourself.
In certain situations, a person can even remain silent if it is easier for him, or directly say that he does not know where to start his story. Usually, in this case, the psychologist himself begins to ask him questions to which he would like to receive answers. This helps to find the key to solving a complex problem.
How a psychologist conducts an appointment
In order to get specialist advice, you must first make an appointment. This can be done over the phone or in person. There is no need to be afraid of anyone. A psychologist is the same person who helps people solve their problems and issues of concern. For example, a woman can no longer live with an unloved husband or work in an enterprise where she does not like, but does not know what to do and what to do. Everyone has their own problems and people are all different, but there is a way out of any situation.
How does an appointment in a psychologist’s office go? Everything is very ordinary. Two people are just talking in a calm atmosphere. One helps the other to express and realize their feelings, thoughts, and overcome internal fears. Of course, if the problem is too complex, then it will take more than one session to solve it. But at the first meeting, the psychologist is simply obliged to understand the essence of the current situation and the reason why the man or woman turned to him. It is very important.
Priorities for initial consultation
There are many approaches to psychotherapy - Gestalt therapy, bodily, behavioral, family, psychoanalysis. The methods are different, but the initial consultation is usually the same. To be precise, its algorithm is similar. The first session is a meeting of two strangers with the goal of shedding light on the problem and strengthening hope for getting rid of it.
Three key tasks:
- interpersonal – establish trusting contact;
- diagnostic – formulate a hypothesis about the problem;
- therapeutic – to outline ways and methods of solving the problem.
What can you expect? Perhaps you will feel better and you will no longer consider your situation hopeless. Perhaps there will be a willingness to take some action or you will understand yourself better. However, 20 minutes, which is how long the first free session lasts, is too little to change your life.
Be active, attentive and responsive. Be prepared to engage in dialogue initiated by the psychologist. For example, here are the questions a psychologist can ask a patient at the first meeting: “What did you come with?”, “What problem is bothering you?”, “How can I help you?” These can be clarifying questions (“Did I understand correctly?”) or questions about feelings (“How do you feel about this?”).
Answer it like it is. And ask counter questions – organizational ones, about the consultant’s education, about the methods used. By the way, often the client’s question “how to get rid of it” is key in the first session - it is he who determines the request and tactics for further work. If you want to get rid of something, let me know.
In addition
How should a psychologist behave so that the person who contacts her wants to come to her again? To begin with, the specialist must calmly listen to her client. She should not interrupt a person if he begins to tell her something.
The professionalism of a psychologist lies in the fact that he must competently bring his patient into a frank dialogue, even if the latter flatly refuses to tell him the whole truth about his life. At the same time, the specialist is obliged to do this as if his client independently began to tell him about his feelings.
There should be no rudeness in the speech of a psychologist. If the latter begins to talk to the client in a raised tone, then there is no point in continuing the conversation with him. In such a situation, it would be best to contact another specialist.
FAQ
How to behave correctly with a psychologist? This is the question that many people ask when they want to seek help from the specified specialist.
There is no need to come up with any model of behavior for yourself. You should behave with a psychologist in the same way as in ordinary life with other people. If it is convenient to answer his questions while standing, then you need to do it that way, and not while sitting in a chair. A competent psychologist knows how to build a conversation. Using professional techniques, he will invite the person to relax and openly talk about an exciting problem. The client may need to undergo psychological tests. There is no need to be afraid of this.
In order to behave at ease during an appointment with a psychologist, you should prepare yourself mentally. You need to collect your thoughts, make a conversation plan in your head, you can even write it down on a piece of paper. Immediately before the appointment, repeat the sequence of your speech and simply go into the office. The psychologist will not say anything bad, much less do anything. This specialist, in the specifics of his profession, should help people, and not try to aggravate the problem that worries them. Therefore, you need to answer the latter’s questions as they really are. There is no need to lie or invent something unnecessary.
Verbal communication
Psychotherapy, regardless of methods or directions, is all built on verbal communication between the client, that is, you, and the psychotherapist. In simple words, this is just a conversation that is structured competently, and, as a result, brings you to awareness, understanding of the reasons, current circumstances, and a clear understanding of your inner mental state. All this is necessary in order to choose the right methods and ways to get out of a personal crisis or resolve the situation.
More
Some people are interested in the question of how to conduct a consultation with a psychologist if the client who turns to him refuses to talk about himself and simply remains silent? The answer to this question is known only by the specialist himself, who met the person who came to him.
Perhaps the client is simply afraid of being judged by the psychologist, so internal fear does not allow him to fully open up and talk about painful things. For example, in the practice of these specialists, there are situations when people turn to them who do not know which partner to choose. On the one hand, it’s a shame to talk about this, but on the other hand, you need to make up your mind and get out of the love triangle. Therefore, when a client refuses to talk about his problem on his own, psychologists offer to come to them another time or begin to ask certain questions that will reveal the essence of the situation that has arisen. There's nothing wrong with that. All people are different, each person has their own character and certain difficulties.
