Effective communication skills are one of the most important and necessary skills to cope with any life situation. Your likelihood of achieving success at work and in the community, earning the respect of your friends and family, children, spouse, boss or co-workers all depends on how effectively you communicate.
Half of what people usually try to communicate to others is lost in the process of translation and interpretation. What you are trying to say may not always be understood correctly by the listener, and this can lead to misunderstandings.
Although many people admit to being ineffective at communicating, each of us can develop effective communication skills over time through practice. Such communication is usually more spontaneous rather than staged or pre-rehearsed, since in this case the speech appears more emotional and convincing.
“Words are the most powerful force available to humanity. We can use this power constructively, using words of encouragement, or destructively, using words of despair. Words have energy and power that can help, hinder, hurt, harm, offend and humiliate.”
-Winston Churchill
Definition of basic concepts
Effective communication - what is it in psychology?
Currently, the importance of communication in a person’s life is constantly increasing, and therefore requires additional study of the technology of effective communication, as well as mastering skills that contribute to this.
The effectiveness of communication in psychology means the optimal way to achieve the goal of communication , in which the loss or distortion of the true meaning of the meanings, attitudes, and reactions transmitted to a person and received from him is minimized.
Books
Effective communication is too broad a topic to cover in one article. You can read more about its conditions and techniques in the following books:
- “Fundamentals of the theory of communication” O. L. Gnatyuk.
- “How to talk so that children will listen, and how to listen so that children will talk” by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish.
- “I want to speak beautifully! Speech techniques" Natalya Rom.
- “Effective communication. Techniques and skills" Ulla Dick.
- “The Language of Communication” by Marian Bugajski.
- “Theory and practice of intercultural communication” E. N. Belaya.
We wish you good luck!
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Key words:1Communication
Elements of successful communication
American sociologist G. D. Laswell proposed the following elements of effective communication:
- The sender is the person who transmits this or that information.
- The message is the information itself that needs to be conveyed to the addressee.
- Channel - the way a message is sent - verbally, non-verbally (gestures, facial expressions, posture), using written expression.
- The recipient is the person who receives the message.
- Acknowledgment is a signal given by the recipient indicating that he has accepted the message.
Criteria
To achieve effective communication, its elements must meet the following criteria:
- The sender must choose the optimal channel for transmitting information - verbally or in writing, correctly determine the intonation with which the message will be transmitted, or turn to non-verbal methods.
- Information must be clearly, completely and understandably presented to the recipient.
- The recipient must confirm that he accepted and understood the information transmitted to him.
Only if these three criteria are met can communication be considered successful.
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Are you familiar with the concept of nonviolent communication or perhaps apply it in life? This concept was developed by Marshall Rosenberg and described in detail in his book “The Language of Life. Nonviolent Communication." This type of communication focuses on a person's true needs and seeks ways to satisfy them. Thus, mastering the skill of nonviolent communication implies retuning to the language of emotional needs and feelings. This means a transition to a more conscious and responsible manner of thinking and building your communications. Read more…
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Basics
Effective communication is based on knowledge of human psychology and perception . An interlocutor who has mastered the skills of effective communication will be in a more advantageous position; it will be easier for him to achieve his goal in communication than an interlocutor who is unfamiliar with these concepts.
Ideally, communication is productive , it is beneficial for both partners and leads to their interaction, strengthening contacts and mutual trust. However, it should not contradict the basic principles of effective communication.
Verbal and non-verbal communication
Effective communication involves both verbal and non-verbal communication. Your body language communicates your intentions just as well as your words. Nonverbal signs sometimes speak more sincerely than the words themselves. Facial expression, hand movements, eye contact, posture, intonation - these are all things people pay attention to when you speak. In the same way, you should pay attention to this when you follow the speech of your interlocutor.
Many people find it difficult to start a conversation, and some don't know how to keep it going once it's started. Social phobia is quite common. Confident communication is not easy, but you must learn to defend your position in front of your interlocutors. If what you say doesn't reach people and doesn't connect with them, then it's unlikely to lead you to success.
Useful tool Board game “Influence Roulette”
This business game will teach players how to persuade and influence anyone in any social situation. Find out the details
Principles
Principles of effective communication:
- Communication should be a two-way process. Only if all participants in the conversation are interested in achieving a positive outcome will the prerequisites for its effectiveness arise.
- The person to whom the message is addressed must make every effort to perceive it correctly.
- The person conveying the message must make it as clear, concise and understandable as possible.
- A level of trust must be established between communicating people that is appropriate to the situation being discussed.
- The emotionality of communication must correspond to the message being conveyed.
- Tolerance, as a means of increasing the effectiveness of communication, should be inherent in all participants in communication.
All participants must follow the principles of effective communication. The more committed they are to complying with them, the more productive their interactions will be.
Conditions
Speech communication will be successful if the following conditions are met:
- The content of the speech should correspond as much as possible to the purpose of communication , not contain elements that are not related to the topic under discussion, and be concise and adequate.
- The speech must be grammatically correct and accurately reflect the message that needs to be conveyed to the interlocutor.
- The presentation of thoughts should be logical and consistent . A well-structured narrative structure contributes to its successful perception by the listener.
Factors
What are the factors that contribute to effective communication? the successful outcome of communication :
- A favorable environment in which the conversation takes place . For example, if a situation that implies intimacy, confidentiality of communication, makes it possible for those communicating not to be heard by others, this will contribute to a confidential conversation.
- Compatible psychological characteristics of the participants in the conversation .
This includes the gender, age, character and temperament of the participants. As a rule, communication is more successful among people of close age; also, certain types of people by character and temperament interact better with each other. - Same social status. Interaction will be more successful with people belonging to the same social class.
- A trusting atmosphere in the team, its cohesion. For example, with established benevolent norms of behavior in a team, professional interaction will be an order of magnitude more effective than in a team in which everyone is accustomed to protecting only their own interests.
- Common goals and motives among interacting people. If the situation involves achieving a common goal, as a rule, mutual understanding is established between partners much faster, leading to successful communication.
What are the factors that reduce the effectiveness of communication? These factors significantly reduce the positive outcome of communication :
- The situation is inappropriate to the topic being discussed. For example, when trying to discuss a confidential conversation in a public place, the recipient—the person to whom the message is addressed—will avoid the discussion.
- Different social status. Communication barriers often arise between people belonging to different social classes.
It is determined by internal prerequisites about one’s belonging to another class, a feeling of one’s superiority or, conversely, inferiority. - Disunity in the team. The effectiveness of business communication will significantly decrease if, according to established norms in a team, everyone must protect their own interests - even with the awareness that this will negatively affect the solution of professional problems.
- Various goals. With the initial desire to achieve different goals, especially if it is impossible to achieve a compromise that satisfies all parties, the effectiveness of communication decreases.
Assertive influence
Assertive influence is one of the basic communication skills in a team or with outside interlocutors. The assertive style involves effectively presenting oneself in dialogue, defending one's own point of view while maintaining respect for the points of view and beliefs of others. Assertive behavior also helps to increase one’s own self-esteem to an adequate level, which will undoubtedly increase the respect of others. Such communication skills help you confidently say “No” in situations where the interlocutor is abusing human or friendly affection. Assertiveness is the key to reducing stress. We invite you to learn more about it. Read more…
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Personality traits that influence the effectiveness of communication
The communication process is influenced not only by general factors affecting all participants, but also by the individual personal characteristics of an individual:
- Extraversion-introversion . Extroverts are more active, open to others, and quickly make contact, which makes them more successful in communication compared to introverts who are prone to solitude, reserved, and try not to express their emotions in public.
- Empathy . A person’s high ability to empathize with others contributes to a better perception of the interlocutor’s emotions, which has a positive effect on communication. Individuals who are not prone to empathy often cause indifference in response, which complicates the possibility of effective communication with them.
- Aggressiveness .
A character trait such as aggressiveness indicates a person’s tendency to behave aggressively in various situations. This behavioral feature complicates communication, often causes rejection from the interlocutor and a negative response, and reduces the likelihood of prolonging a confidential contact. - Tolerance . Tolerance towards your interlocutor helps to avoid conflict situations and accept his point of view, which creates fertile ground for creating compromise solutions, despite differences in views.
Dealing with Difficult People
Difficult people defy logic and sometimes even common sense. Well, or so it seems to us. The point is different - there are those with whom it is very difficult to communicate, but for various reasons it is necessary. Sometimes very serious, even fateful things can depend on this. What can be done in a situation where a person seems like an unapproachable block? In this article, we'll explore who tanks, snipers, grenade launchers, sycophants, and know-it-alls are, understand how they differ, and then offer specific behavioral strategies you can use when communicating with them. Get ready to expand your communication arsenal! Read more…
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Psychological aspects of the effectiveness of the communicative side of communication
Why is the effectiveness of communication associated with the communicative side ? A special place in communication is occupied by its communicative side - that is, the exchange of information.
At the same time, the effectiveness of communication is directly dependent on how exactly the exchange of messages between partners will be established. The main psychological conditions for achieving effective communication for a person are the following:
- the ability to express your thoughts;
- the ability to perceive and understand the interlocutor;
- ability to interact with a partner.
These skills are formed not only at the conscious, but also at the unconscious levels - from childhood a person learns to make contact, prevent the development of conflict situations, and behave in such a way that others understand him.
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A culture of speech
Speech culture has a significant impact If a person has a sufficient vocabulary, it will be easier for him to express his thoughts to his interlocutor.
However, speech is not only a way of expressing thoughts, but also a means of understanding the world. An educated person will better understand his interlocutor, which will make communication more successful.
Cultural speech that meets the requirements of etiquette also helps to establish friendly contact with others - addresses consistent with the rules of etiquette facilitate further deepening of contact with the interlocutor.
Technologies for effective communication
Conventionally, effective communication technologies can be divided into two groups:
- Technologies of persuasion (rational sphere): logic and argumentation are used here. It is assumed that the interlocutor, and you yourself, have a high level of logical and critical thinking. Take these courses to become more persuasive.
- Suggestion technologies: based on an appeal to the unconscious, to human emotions through verbal means. Since they are often manipulative, we will not consider them in this article.
There are four main methods of argumentation:
- The technique of stimulating the imagination involves asking at the beginning of the conversation many questions about the content of the problems that should be considered.
- The “hook” technique allows you to briefly outline the situation and, linking it with the content of the conversation, use it as a starting point for discussing the problem.
- The direct approach involves getting straight to the point without any introduction or preamble.
- The technique of relieving tension requires establishing emotional contact with the interlocutor. For example, a well-timed joke can help with this.
We have already touched on some techniques and skills for effective communication in the article, because they are inextricably linked with rules, barriers and technologies. Let's summarize them and add those that haven't been mentioned yet.
Try to communicate with all people equally : do not behave patronizingly with someone who is lower in position, younger or anything else. This person is, first of all, your communication partner.
Don't complain . This can only be done in exceptional cases. Remember that “people forget what you told them, but they never forget how you made them feel.”
Encourage and motivate your interlocutor . Not only will he be pleased to deal with you, but this technique will also improve your mood. Remember that communication is a two-way process and both sides charge each other with positivity or negativity.
Show empathy . This word has become so firmly established in our vocabulary that we no longer attach much importance to it. But knowing and practicing are two completely different things. Therefore, next time, try to listen to the other person’s answers and consider them from his point of view, and not from the point of view of your biases and beliefs.
Exercise . Yes, you can look for interlocutors and practice on the “battlefield,” or you can first agree with friends or relatives and practice with each other. There are several useful exercises for this:
- Find a topic. Decide in advance how much time you will devote to it.
- Let the interlocutor tell a story from his life. Watch him carefully. Then retell this story, also copying gestures and facial expressions.
- Watch dialogue from a movie without sound with a friend. Try to understand what it is about, how the characters feel and how it all might end.
The language of modern man
must use the full range of communication capabilities to achieve effective communication .
It includes not only good command of speech, but also knowledge about methods of non-verbal communication - gestures, postures, facial expressions, sometimes unconsciously expressing the emotions of the interlocutor.
Knowledge of these nuances allows you to better understand your interlocutor , and, therefore, develop the best communication strategy to achieve a particular goal. Moreover, these skills must be constantly developed.
Effective communication training will help you master communication methods and techniques, which can significantly increase a person’s opportunities for self-realization, achieve success in the professional field, and also improve interpersonal relationships.
What prevents effective communication?
Anything that prevents us from understanding our interlocutor or conveying our thoughts is called a barrier in the field of communications.
There are several dozen of them, but we will highlight the main ones. Some depend entirely on you, others only partially. If you manage to avoid them, the effectiveness of communication will increase:
- Stress and uncontrolled emotions : When you are stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you are likely to misread other people, send confusing or dismissive nonverbal signals, and engage in inappropriate behavior.
- Lack of focus : You cannot communicate effectively if you are multitasking. If you're checking your phone, planning what you're going to say next, or daydreaming, you'll almost certainly miss the nonverbal cues in your conversation, or even most of what's being said. Avoid distractions; focus.
- Inappropriate body language : Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict what is being said. If you say one thing and your body language says another, the listener is likely to sense hypocrisy.
- Negative body language : If you disagree with what is being said, you will often use negative body language to respond to the other person's message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your fingers. Avoid negative signals and remember: you don't have to agree and you don't have to be insincere.
- Inappropriate physical environment : Noisy cafes or bars are extremely difficult to understand. If you want to have a useful dialogue, choose quieter places.
- Antipathy to other people's thoughts : We humans are often prejudiced. It is worth understanding this in order to analyze how and why the words of the interlocutor influence our thoughts and emotions in a certain way.
As we see, we can remove many of these barriers. The problem is that this requires a conscious desire and long-term work on oneself. But if you want to succeed in life, you cannot do without developing the ability to communicate effectively.
Examples
- Effective communication in conflict. Returning from the army to his parents' house, the son spent the day surrounded by relatives, after which in the evening he got ready to visit close friends. Looking around at the mirror, he heard his father’s demanding voice: “You must be home at 10 pm.” Without stopping what he was doing, the son calmly said: “Forget it, dad. This is already in the past." Conciseness, confidence and calmness in this case were the best way out of a brewing conflict situation, since these are the qualities that are inherent in a mature, independent man.
- Effective communication with children . A very indicative scene from the movie “Gentlemen of Fortune”, when the teacher addresses children who do not want to have breakfast: “Children, breakfast is canceled for today, because we are flying on a rocket to Mars, so take the space spoons in your hands and have a good meal, because We’ll only be back on Earth around lunchtime.”
Adjusting to the children's wishes and subsequent rejection of persuasion, which children are prejudiced against, allowed them to switch their attention and look at the situation from a different perspective.
Exercises to practice communication skills
Communication skills need to be constantly trained. This is the only way you will learn to communicate easily and freely even with strangers.
If your shyness and timidity do not allow you to even approach a stranger, then you should seek advice from a psychologist. The following exercises will help you practice your communication skills.
Conversation with furniture
Every day tell your table, chair or indoor flower about how your day went, what interesting things happened. Try to hold back your fit of laughter and take this practice seriously.
This exercise will help you express your thoughts coherently, logically and competently, not get confused in them, and also adjust your facial expressions and gestures. If you can’t have a conversation with furniture, then a pet would be an even better listener for this exercise. A dog or cat will always willingly listen to the stories of its owner.
Monologue in front of the mirror
Go to the mirror and start saying out loud the thoughts that come to your mind. Gradually try to connect them logically, consistently developing them to create an interesting story.
This exercise will help you understand how you look from the outside during a conversation, learn how to write coherent sentences and establish contact with yourself. It is enough to exercise for 10 minutes 2 – 3 times a week.
Retelling
Surely you have a favorite blog or site that you read every day - for example, the “In Your Home” blog. This will be very useful when performing this exercise. After reading another article, try to retell it as closely as possible in terms of meaning and logic of construction. If the article is very long, then retell it gradually, in 3-4 paragraphs.
This exercise develops the skill of thinking and speaking at the same time. Thanks to it, your speech will become more coherent and meaningful. To achieve good results, you need to exercise daily.
Development of someone else's thought
The exercise begins by turning on the TV or any video on the Internet. Listen to the speaker for 30 seconds, then turn off the sound and continue his thought for the next 30 seconds.
This training develops mental flexibility and teaches you to find non-standard solutions. Exercise 10 minutes a day and you will be pleasantly surprised by the results.
5 strangers
The best training for developing communication skills is communication itself. Train yourself to start a casual conversation with five strangers every day. Not less! These could be random passers-by, from whom you can ask the time or clarify the route, a consultant in a store, to whom you turn for advice on choosing a product... In general, there should be no problems with finding strangers. They surround us literally everywhere. You just need to leave the house.
To practice your speaking technique, I recommend you watch this interesting video: