The article explains:
- The difference between “living here and now” and “living one day at a time”
- 6 steps to living in the here and now and letting go of expectations
- A 3-minute meditation break for every day to develop mindfulness
- A simple technique for engaging in the moment
- 10 books for acquiring the skill of living here and now
You are, of course, familiar when experiences associated with the past or expectations of a certain future capture the consciousness, preventing attention from remaining in the present moment. But our whole life is the present moment. Thoughts take us back and forth all the time, but do not allow us to simply be where we are. How to learn to live here and now, being a resident of a modern civilized society? Is this even possible?
Even though this path is unique for everyone, the answer is definitely affirmative: it’s possible! And if you are interested in this in order to save a lot of nerves and gain deep satisfaction with life, then the article is for you. It contains a step-by-step guide with which you can find yourself in real life, in that very present moment. And feel greater joy and peace than ever before.
The difference between “living here and now” and “living one day at a time”
People sometimes confuse these two concepts: “Live one day at a time” and “Live here and now,” taking the latter too literally: every day is like the last. But this is wrong. Each of us evaluates our life from the point of view of the present, past and future. You cannot build the future without taking into account the mistakes and experiences of past moments.
If you are already familiar with at least one “here and now” practice, then you know the differences between these arguments and the notorious behavior of the Dragonfly from I.A.’s fable. Krylova.
The first principle of the “Live here and now” attitude is to be in the moment, the ability to stop, to consider everything that is happening around as if in slow motion. Freezing for a second, deeply appreciating what is happening, a person feels himself merging with himself and the Cosmos, realizing himself as part of the whole. At this moment you can experience true happiness, a feeling of freedom, flight and lightness.
If you want to achieve a state of awareness in the moment, you need to constantly train this feeling. Don't put it off until later. Let's look together at a few simple steps on how to learn to live here and now.
Thinking about the future
You can recall another parable from the Bible, where the Lord gave three people one ruble for a year. One didn’t bring anything after a year because he “spent it wrong,” and the Almighty gave him another chance to earn money. The second one was able to make a profit of five from one ruble, so he received a double profit as a reward for his ability to manage money correctly and work efficiently. The third brought the same ruble, which he tried to keep safe and sound.
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This ruble was taken away from him for his inability to use the resources of today (in other words, the inability to plan future income). The parable demonstrates the Lord's attitude towards people who do not want to do anything at all, but are happy to “celebrate” today, putting everything they have on the line.
A 3-minute meditation break for every day to develop mindfulness
There are excellent meditation breaks. They can be performed throughout the day to focus attention on the present, our own thoughts and feelings, which we often neglect. Such exercises will take you no more than 3 minutes of time, which means they can easily be done at work, in a traffic jam, or in a queue.
Stage 1. To begin, sit up straight, straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, and take a comfortable position. It's best to do this with your eyes closed. Direct your inner eye to what is happening inside you. Accept it, don't try to change it. Answer simple questions: how do I feel now? What am I thinking about? Present it clearly.
Don't be afraid to admit your own thoughts, even if they are disturbing and frightening. Do the same with your physical condition. If you feel discomfort or pain, admit it to yourself.
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Step 2: Now choose a point and concentrate on it. Then direct your sensation to the space in the abdomen - the abdominal wall rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale. Live every inhalation and exhalation as a pause that will allow you to see and feel every moment of life that arises somewhere inside.
Stage 3. The next step is to expand your attention from the breath within yourself to the whole of you. Feel your body as a single whole, as if your whole body is breathing, filling up at the same time. Clearly imagine how you sit, how you hold your hands, how all the wrinkles are straightened, how all the muscles of your body are relaxed and filled with oxygen.
If you feel discomfort or pain, then direct your attention there, breathe with this place, accept this feeling. Having made friends with your body, do not try to change or drown out your anxieties and fears, speak them clearly. Return to the beginning, continuing to monitor your breathing and listen to the signals your body is giving.
Vladislav Yu. (Pavlodar → Novosibirsk):
“There was only an understanding that someone skillfully turned peaceful rallies into a coup attempt. As soon as the occasion arises, everything comes out into the light.
I didn’t really follow the events, because I didn’t influence it in any way, and there was some kind of confidence that everything would get better in a week.
Such a terrible tragedy, in my opinion, can happen in any country, as the events in Ukraine and Belarus showed us. Here, by the way, there will be a phrase: “It’s good where we are not.”
Kazakhstan is one of the fastest growing countries in the post-Soviet space, and I am confident that with skillful leadership it can become one of the 30 leading economies in the world.”
A simple technique for engaging in the moment
To engage in the moment here and now, you need to relax and try to switch your attention to something pleasant or funny. You can sing your favorite verse of a song or remember a funny moment in your life. Take a few deep breaths in and out. Start doing the following step by step.
Stage 1. Naming objects.
Slowly lower your eyes and look at the objects around you. Name them. You can add adjectives. This will help give you the feeling of being in a specific place at a given moment in time. It is important not to give subjective assessments, for example, “worn jeans”, “grandmother’s old chest of drawers”. Our assessment can mentally transport us to the past. Only what your eyes can catch, as if taking a photograph, impartially recording what is here and now.
Start the next stage only when you have clearly mastered the first. Perform the following steps simultaneously with the previous one.
Stage 2. Feeling like part of the whole world.
Imagine yourself, clearly listening to all internal processes, you are a living organism, everything inside is working, boiling, working. You feel with every cell of your body subtle odors, the touch of clothing, the pulse in your neck. Feel how your internal organs work. Notice everything that happens around you: snow falls on your cheeks and melts, your nose inhales the cold air of a winter morning, your lungs fill with freshness. Hear birds singing in the distance and the crackle of breaking ice. Observe everything as if you are really feeling what is happening around you for the first time.
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Stage 3. Lack of dialogue with yourself.
After realizing the two stages, you will feel a slight emptiness from previous thoughts and at the same time filled with freshness, a feeling of a clean slate. This is a signal that you are doing everything right. All questions will fade into the background, the desire to find out something will disappear, only openness to new thoughts and sensations will remain.
Suddenly you will notice that a stream of new, different thoughts are actively appearing in your mind. Don’t chase them away, look closely, try to capture and observe. Sometimes it's not so simple.
At first it is difficult to maintain a state of complete renewal of consciousness, a feeling of a clean slate. You will plunge back into a gray reality, but over time you will be able to fix this state for a long time. If you engage in such practices more often, you will be able to be more alone with yourself in the moment here and now.
Drive away fear
Eleanor Roosevelt had a rule: we must do what we cannot. And if you look at her life, she more or less followed it. She overcame her shyness and became a prominent public figure. She overcame sexism and prejudice about the role of First Lady and became the embodiment of her husband Theodore's famous phrase that the only thing to be feared is fear itself.
You cannot live fully if you are afraid all the time. You won't get the most out of life if you're afraid to take risks. The good things you want in life are on the other side of limitations and fear.
The Stoics wanted to show us that we are capable of more than we think we are. We can do much more than anyone thinks. We have a large margin of safety if we do not deny it in our heads.
If you look at the life of Marcus Aurelius or the difficult journey of James Stockdale, you will see that people do things that no one would have thought of, including themselves. The same applies to you today.
loss of a loved one
the experience of grief is a separate section of psychology that tells about all the stages that a person goes through when faced with a bereavement. Sometimes only a good specialist can help him. Well, those of us who are trying to cope on our own may just use escapism as the only way to fill the huge feeling of emptiness. In this case, instead of systematically reducing the level of emotional stress and getting used to life “after”, a fixation on one of the stages may occur. Then a person can remain at the “level of denial” for years and live as if he is still in the past and the terrible loss has not occurred, or even pretend that he is not at all affected by the absence of a loved one, filling his life with plans for the future that leave no room thoughts about the present;
Why is this happening
To understand why we stubbornly refuse to enjoy the present moment, replacing it with thoughts about something completely foreign, let’s remember the behavior of a child in a scary or uncomfortable environment. By turning on the defense mechanism, the child creates his own imaginary world, where everything is good and turns out exactly the way he wants.
Adults do the same thing: dissatisfied with their present life, they constantly try to mentally “escape” from it - into plans for tomorrow, into memories of first love or a run-in with the boss, into dreams of the next vacation. Simply put, people try their best not to notice what makes them uncomfortable today.
The Internet is a way to escape reality
You may not have thought about it, but one of the most common symptoms of “not here and not now” illness is “escaping” to the Internet. Experiencing discomfort due to what surrounds him in real life, a person prefers to “settle” in the virtual world, where it is much easier to create acceptable conditions for existence. Therefore, if you spend too much time online, it’s worth thinking about what exactly you refuse to notice in yourself or in the people around you. Perhaps real life makes you so unhappy that you are terribly afraid to admit it to yourself.
Make friends with your feelings
Whatever feelings you have, try to deal with them openly and kindly. Don't forget that even the most painful emotions - fatigue, fear, frustration, sadness, feelings of loss or guilt - need to be treated kindly.
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When we replay a situation in our heads, the brain reacts to it as a real threat. When we remember the past or think about the future, it is not real, but imaginary difficulties that arise in our minds. As a result, we shut down our ability to think openly, creatively, and we either feel trapped and cowered, or our body prepares to fight-or-flight.
