People often don't like their lives. If you think this happens only to you, don’t be fooled. The 21st century is a century of contrasts: never in history has a person had so many opportunities to make life interesting and rich and so many complaints about boredom. Even people whose existence looks bright and full fall into depression or do crazy things just to get rid of the monotony. What does this mean? Boredom does not depend on the type of activity you do, the number of hobbies you have, etc., it is a state of mind. Anything can be boring, depending on a person’s temperament, interests and outlook.
If your life seems boring to you, the problem is not life. The same thing will happen after a while if you find yourself in the “skin” of a movie star, popular musician or artist.
Why is this happening? It's all because of the burnout of emotions. No matter how much you admire the taste of your favorite dish, if you eat it every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner, after a couple of days you will begin to associate eating with melancholy. Many strive for the profession of their dreams, for example, entering a theater university to play on stage. But when you get into the theater backstage, you are faced with the monotony of rehearsals, with the endless repetition of the same performances. The student begins to burn out, he understands the difference between the stage and the auditorium. The same thing happens in everything, especially among people whose temperament is too fickle to remain faithful to one thing for a long time.
Why doesn't this happen to everyone? Nobody fights boredom on purpose, it’s the same as forcing yourself not to think about something. One must not fight with the mood of the mind, but take it into account and try to get around it. Some people just know how to do it, they themselves don’t know how they do it. Others have their own methods, which have come over the years out of necessity, because everyone needs to work, but few enjoy the work. In this article we will look at ways and tips that help other people make life brighter and more interesting, and talk about the principles of how mood works.
Listen to your feelings
The advice seems pure madness, because for success you need to be guided by logic and calculation and have a clear plan of action.
However, most famous and successful people believe: you need to learn to listen to your inner voice. Composer Alan Menken, describing the process of creating music for cartoons, said that he followed his heart and tried to listen to his feelings as much as possible. If you learn this, the ability for logical reasoning and prudence will also appear.
This tip is especially good for those days when you don't know what you want. At times like these, we tend to overcomplicate things or think too much.
The solution is simple: listen to your inner self. Follow it. Only in this way will you learn to understand what you feel, express it and use it to your advantage.
Get new experience
Whatever your goal, you are essentially looking for new knowledge and skills. So instead of blindly rushing towards your goal, ask yourself: “What kind of experience do I want to have?”
Once you answer this question, you will be able to understand what exactly you are trying to achieve. You will be able to determine how effectively you are working.
The Wright brothers wanted to fly. Some people want to climb Everest, live a happy and healthy life, and become a millionaire. Elon Musk wants to die on Mars. What do you want?
- Maybe love and be loved?
- Maybe have a strong and healthy body?
- Maybe your goal is more specific or unusual?
Experience is what makes us human. The meaning of life lies in all the events that we have experienced. You can value almost every item in your home, but you won’t be able to put a price tag on your memories and experiences. You can't buy them.
Something can only be achieved through hard work. For example, you cannot sit on a bench at the entrance for two years and become a doctor of science. You will have to study, teach, write scientific papers, and face criticism.
The most valuable experience seems to be protected from those who do not know how to get it and do not want to do anything. You won't be able to run a marathon if all you did before was eat pizza and watch TV series.
Identifying your bad habits
This can be done by observing ourselves and noting those things that definitely do not make us happier. For example, scrolling through your Instagram feed for 5 minutes can be interesting, but then? Was that last glass of wine worth the consequences the next morning? Did the euphoria from eating a chocolate bar continue after the effect of the increase in blood sugar wore off?
Once you discover your bad habits that are wasting your time and energy, you need to start working on breaking them.
3 important steps
which every woman should go through
Anika Snagovskaya
Author and presenter of women's trainings on harmonizing feminine energy. Master of removing limiting beliefs and master of constellations.
I have prepared three lessons for you that will help you better understand yourself, remove the restrictions that prevent you from feeling loved and living happily.
01
Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity
You will learn about 5 female states that exist in every woman, how they manifest themselves and which archetypes are most manifested in you and which are not developed.
02
Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships
I’ll tell you what you need to do to free your heart from old feelings and break the energy threads connecting you with your past partner.
03
Audio recording: Neuro-af
Thanks to this neuro-affirmation, you can regain self-love and feel sincere gratitude and happiness for every day.
✕
Top 3 useful materials that will help you know yourself better
And start a new, happy life for yourself.
Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity
Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships
Audio recording: Neuro-af
Take your gifts!
Use experience to open new doors
Jim Rohn, a famous author and speaker, spoke about the moment when he clearly realized that he could not live like this.
When Jim was 25 years old, a Girl Scout knocked on his door. She asked Jim to buy some cookies to support their organization. Even though the cookies only cost two dollars, Jim didn't have that much money. He felt so ashamed that he decided to lie and said: “You know, we recently bought cookies from another girl.”
The girl thanked Jim and left, and he, closing the door, stood silently in the corridor for several minutes. At that moment he realized: he couldn’t live like this anymore. After this incident, he tries every day to improve himself and his life.
Jim is sure that if he had not lied about buying cookies, he would never have felt the urgent need to develop and work. This was precisely the experience that opened a new door to another life for him. On the other hand, this experience helped Jim mentally prepare and realize that he was ready to learn, develop, try and achieve his goal.
After certain experiences and events, you get the opportunity to change yourself, attract the right and good people and adventures into your life.
general information
On the one hand, everything seems to be very simple - live, do what you like, meet people who make you happy and be happy. But, unfortunately, in reality it turns out to be not so simple.
Have you ever had the thought that nothing special is happening for you and you feel unhappy? I would like to hope that it is not, but if it is, I hasten to please you - this can be changed.
It is only important to learn to notice life in order to live it. As they say, be here and now, in the present.
The reason for such thoughts is often an internal ban on unpleasant feelings. For example, in our society it is still forbidden to be angry or upset. Girls are taught from childhood that showing their irritation is ugly. Boys are not allowed to be sad, because if they cry, they will become like girls.
What happens when a friend or loved one says they are sad? That’s right, they immediately try to cheer him up or say that there’s nothing wrong with him, stop being limp, you need to pull yourself together.
Growing up like this, we then do not allow ourselves to experience negative feelings. And they form part of our everyday life. Feeling alive can sometimes be too painful, unbearable. Understand that some needs are not met - as well.
Then many simply try to escape from reality, for example, by becoming dependent. And if you ignore some part of yourself, “freeze” your emotions, then how can you rejoice and live, breathing deeply?
Analyze the situation
Sometimes things pile up and tension builds. I want to relax. To do this, we try to go where it is quiet and nice. For example, closer to the forest, sea, mountains. Only in this environment can you experience peace. Nature is an ideal place for relaxation and restoration.
When you set a goal, immediately think about the circumstances under which you can achieve it.
Remember that in any case you will be influenced by culture, nationality, and traditions. Analyze how they can help or hinder you from getting what you want.
Make the most of any situation
You need to constantly ask yourself: “What will this situation give me?” You can always get the most benefit and experience from any circumstances.
This is your goal: to see and recognize opportunities, do everything to realize them, evaluate the experience gained.
For example, if you are reading this article, take a moment and look around. Who is in the room or apartment besides you?
- If it is one of your relatives, you can tell him how dear he is to you.
- If it's a loved one, it's time to say the three main words.
- Even petting the cat one more time would not be shameful.
Such an experience may seem banal to some. For others, it is difficult to take this step, because it requires frankness and openness. But the experience gained in return is priceless and very important for everyone.
Learn to calm your mind
It is the restlessness of the mind that causes dissatisfaction, thirst for more, and boredom. Melancholy often grips a person who has everything he needs, this is inexplicable from the point of view of needs. The mind is constantly trying to occupy itself with something new, like a restless child who is unable to sit in one place for more than five minutes. Information noise brings additional chaos into your restless consciousness, forcing you to constantly want something. New iPhone, new triple cheeseburger from McDonald's, new bottle of Coca-Cola, new data plan. You are constantly instilled with desires and fears of being left without something important.
Awareness will help you calm your mind and make your life interesting and rich: pay attention to the desires that arise, evaluate their rationality. Meditate, it helps you better understand your real needs.
Keep track of your thoughts and desires
What do you think about most often?
Most people spend energy and time thinking about the gap that separates them from their desired goal.
- "I still haven't received that contract."
- “My relationship is very bad.”
- “I wish I was stronger and leaner.”
Such thoughts contain only one thing: a statement of the problem. You need to focus on solving it. People usually think about what they want to avoid. In fact, you only need to visualize the experience you want to have.
In your thoughts you should strive only for what you desire.
October 10, 2018
Ekaterina Severnaya Writer, experimenter and optimist. Seeker of new experiences. I work as a freelancer and practice Muay Thai, yoga and fencing. I collect countries and cities: from Kamchatka to Crete. Author of the blog “Make Life BRIGHTER”.
- let-me-smile.ru
- vk.com/severnaja_ylibka
I was twenty when, on a sunny summer day, I went out onto the balcony, looked at the piercing blue sky, breathed in the warm air and thought: I live a very boring life...
Nothing “extraordinary” is happening in my life that I can tell my grandchildren about with a cheerful wink in forty or fifty years... What interesting thing happened to me in two hot months? Apart from a few swims in the Gulf of Finland, going to a bar with friends and barbecuing at the dacha?
Nothing. But this is a precious time of my youth. Why do I sit in front of the computer in the evenings? Why don't I live to the fullest? Why to the question: “How did you spend your weekend?” I answer, as usual, nothing special...
Maybe you have had such moments too? When you wait all week for the weekend, and then don’t know what to do... When, when asked “hobbies” in some form, you write: “books, films, music”...
Where to start change? A wish list
I firmly decided to fill my life with bright events.
And I started with a wish list. At first there weren't too many points:
"jump with a parachute",
"spend the night in a tent in the forest"
"walk on the rooftops"
"to go abroad"
"to fly on an airplane"
"try driving a car"
“learn to shoot”...
Everything I've never done before.
It’s one thing to write it down, and quite another to implement it.
We need money to go abroad. On a hike in the forest - company. For a walk on the roofs - at least the addresses of open roofs. And so on. However, for some reason I wasn’t worried about it at all and believed that something interesting was about to happen.
And then miracles slowly began to happen in my life. The most real ones.
Literally a week later, a new friend from university suddenly called and offered to jump with a parachute:
“We’re getting together here with a whole group of about ten people, we found a jumping instructor we know, he’s reliable and doesn’t charge a lot of money.” We will jump with a parachute on our own! Come with us!
I happily agreed, although I was terribly afraid. The jump gave me a huge dose of emotions and adrenaline. For the first time in a long time, I felt 100% alive.
Then this same friend began inviting me on small hikes: the guys took tents, went into the forest to some lake and played mafia or crocodile all night, sitting around a fire. My wishes came true one after another: a big cheerful company, songs with a guitar, night swims, delicious porridge over the fire...
Then, in one virtual competition, I won a list of open rooftops in St. Petersburg where you can walk and take photos.
Then my dad started teaching me how to drive my grandfather’s old car, a bright orange ’76 Troika. And at the same time - shoot in the forest with a rifle and pistol.
The more dreams come true, the more interesting life is.
Then there were paragliding flights, flying at the controls of a sports plane, diving, water skiing, acting courses, photo plein photography, walks along the most beautiful roofs of St. Petersburg and little madness.
For example, penetration to the top of one of the pylons of the Cable-stayed bridge in Obukhovo in St. Petersburg, to a height of 126 meters! Luck? Well, maybe. But I always found myself in the “right place at the right time.” It was a miracle that I was included in a small group of four people I didn’t know, who were planning a foray onto the Cable-stayed Bridge - a random acquaintance called me.
It was unforgettable! We climbed into the “insides” of the bridge at the very beginning and crawled for about forty minutes in the darkness along the internal structures, lighting the way with headlamps, accompanied by the roar of passing cars. Then we climbed the steep stairs inside the pylon for another half hour. And we almost went blind from the bright sun when we climbed out onto the platform at the very top!
Cars rushed by below us, looking like toys from such a height. Gusts of wind raised my hair on end. Tiny boats scurried along the smooth surface of the Neva. And a little further away the dome of St. Isaac's Cathedral sparkled in the sun...
And suddenly money was found for a trip abroad. True, thanks to my mom for this! I was still studying at the time and just starting to look for a job. Moreover, at that time I did not know how to save money and travel on my own, so I obediently took money to travel agencies.
When I finally started working, everything started spinning even faster and brighter:
"black slopes" at ski resorts in Norway,
mountains, sea and nightclubs of Barcelona,
pretentious capital of France,
crazy bike rides in Denmark,
ancient ruins in Rome,
nettle beer and horror museums in Prague,
Thai boxing classes in Crete,
life with local couchsurfers in Hungary,
walks through the snowy taiga in Siberia,
walks with a wind of 26 m/s in the Far North,
and meeting seals in the wild in Kamchatka...
At home - training in Thai boxing, fencing, participation in amateur tournaments, yoga and aerial yoga classes, meditation, working on a book, cleaning up garbage on the Vuoksi islands in a competition format, military-sports team race “Race of Heroes”...
What difficulties might arise?
1. Of course, fear . At least that's how it was for me.
I'm afraid of too many things. Something that an ordinary person does calmly, without thinking. For example:
tumble,
drive a car in the dark,
post your articles on the Internet,
communicate in large companies,
fly on airplanes (not always, although every other time),
come alone to unfamiliar places,
ride extreme rides...
I'm afraid of an awful lot of things, I just like this feeling - when you step over your fear. You immediately begin to be terribly proud of yourself... Until the next fear 
2. In addition to fear, external factors can hinder the fulfillment of desires - lack of money, lack of time .
Yes, on the one hand, if you really want something badly, it seems that the whole world is helping you... And you find the means to make your dream come true.
On the other hand, it’s easy for me to say this, not burdened with anything: for now there are no children or anyone to look after, who would depend on me...
So I won’t say categorically - everyone’s situations are different.
But still, if you have the opportunity to choose... For example:
Between regular barbecues in nature and a visit to the rope park...
Between buying a new handbag and trying out water skiing...
Between kitchen renovations and travel...
It's better to choose the second one.
Gradually, the pieces will form a whole mosaic of a bright and interesting life.
What is this all for? “Side effects” of a vibrant life
You start to feel truly happy.
You feel the fullness of life.
A good mood becomes a habit and becomes the norm.
The former lethargy and apathy dissolve.
Increased energy.
Outbursts of irritation disappear.
Strength appears for daily tasks.
You always have something to talk about.
Let's sum it up
If you feel like your life has become too boring and ordinary, add some bright colors to it.
1. Make a wish list of things you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but didn’t dare or simply didn’t have the occasion.
2. Set aside a little money, find a little time, focus on fulfilling your desires - and perhaps you will notice how well the circumstances have begun to develop in your favor.
3. Start “checking off” the items on the list and carefully “putting” new impressions and colorful emotions into your collection.
Self-development #dreams #joy #lists
Spend 90 minutes continuously working
During work, we are very often distracted, and our brain needs at least 23 minutes to focus on the task at hand again.
On the other hand, all successful people say that they have trained themselves to work continuously, without losing focus, for 90 minutes a day. The recipe for such productivity varies, but its basis never changes:
- Start working early in the morning.
- Divide your workday into three blocks.
- Each block must be 90 minutes long.
If you manage to work consistently and productively at least once a day, but for 90 minutes at a time, you will already achieve more than many other people. Don't forget to rest between blocks. Rest is no less important than concentration during work.
Develop your imagination
In Lars Trier's film Dancer in the Dark, the main character dreams of becoming a musical star, but works as a press operator in a factory. This is the case when the work consists of the same movements repeated over and over again for the entire 10-hour shift with a short break for lunch. There is something to get bored and go crazy about. What does the heroine do? She catches the rhythm of the rattling machines, imagines herself as a character in a musical, moves to the rhythm and even sings her character’s part to herself. The work of imagination turns “hard labor” into a place where dreams come true, allows you to ignore routine and have fun out of nowhere.
Save time
In order to implement the previous point, you need to learn how to create circumstances in which it will be easy for you to focus and work. If you play sports, it is best to do this in a specially equipped room, and not at home on a mat.
The first thing you can do is remove all distractions. For example, turn off your phone to get rid of annoying notifications. While your 90 minutes last, you cannot be interrupted. Let the whole world go to hell, and you need to complete the assigned task.
Prepare for difficulties. People will try to steal your time. Even with good intentions. To tell an interesting story, to advise, to complain about life. Be firm and don't let them do this.
Don't let yourself suffer
Life is not just about constant happiness and fun, and sadness, despair and pain are an inevitable part of life. We have to lose loved ones, get sick, get injured and need money. Learn to feel your pain and really grieve, and not forbid yourself to be upset. But when you fully experience your suffering, you can move forward to happy days.
Disconnect as often as possible
The author of the book Total Result, Darren Hardy, advises “switching off” for the sake of high productivity. He, of course, means disconnecting from mobile and Internet networks and even refusing to talk on a regular phone.
Darren Hardy advises avoiding using connected devices for at least the 90 minutes you're working. It is also advisable to schedule days when you will completely “disconnect” from all networks.
The writer believes that this practice will allow you to awaken creativity, productivity and fill your life with meaning.
Try giving up calls, mail and the Internet for one day. Do something you really love to do. Go for your dream.
Create a morning ritual
Say hello to the sun when you wake up and tell yourself that you won't waste your day. Do some stretching in bed, meditate, or fill out your diary. Add an unusual syrup or flavoring to your coffee. Come up with your own way to start the morning and have fun from the first minutes of waking up.
Find a leader and follow him
Do you have a role model? Find out what this person is doing right now. What does he strive for, what does he do to achieve his goal. Follow him with the same speed and tenacity.
Usain Bolt, the fastest runner in the world, has set many world records over the past few years. This is interesting. But what’s even more interesting is that those runners who are forced to compete with this unique athlete also set new records. In other words, those who lose to Bolt are running faster than anyone before them.
It is enough to strive for the leader and not slow down. Then you will be ahead of other competitors.
Of course, it is better that you find positive role models.
Get rid of the assessment
Speculation is the worst enemy of experience. The habit of evaluating things before getting to know them closely deprives you of a lot of opportunities and knowledge. This is a strong inhibitor: when the opportunity to try something new arises, you say “oh, this is probably not interesting,” “oh, it seems, this is not for me,” and so on. Eliminate the words “probably” and “seems” from your vocabulary. Try everything that comes after them from your own experience. It may be difficult, but the source of difficulty will be the fear of failure and nothing more.
Do less
If you spend most of your time worrying about everyday and trivial problems or tasks that could be delegated to another person, you are not moving forward. You get sucked into routine. Such a life will not be interesting and remarkable.
Remember Pareto's law? 20% of effort produces 80% of the result, and the remaining 80% of effort produces only 20% of the result. Based on this principle, determine your priorities.
Focus on those activities that bring maximum results. Then you will make a huge leap towards your goal. On the way to it you will find a lot of interesting things, you will see what you have long dreamed of seeing. And those who have long used the Pareto principle in practice say that with its help you can even slow down time.
Reasons that prevent you from having time to live
What prevents us from being able to do everything? Live a full life? There are several explanations.
- Time trouble. The term denotes an acute lack of time, sometimes reminiscent of the movement of a whole wall of urgent matters and tasks. Family, children, work, and something interesting is always added that fits the expression: “Not now!” Besides, we are not robots. Sometimes you want to sit down with your favorite book, watch a movie, or go somewhere you haven’t been able to get to for six months.
- Fatigue. A natural state if time pressure lasts for a long time. From the outside it may look like the person is being lazy. But still, in this case, such a state is a signal that it’s time to stop. Understand how necessary it is to continue living at this rhythm.
- Empty time. This is the main limiter on your ability to control your day from morning to evening. It is important to understand the reason for the slipping hours. For example, perhaps this is frequent viewing of news on VKontakte, photos from Instagram, or the computer game “Just for half an hour.”
- The decision is at the subconscious level. (Wait until the last moment). At the same time, people can do completely different things. Except for those that need to be completed urgently.
- Negative energy potential. Fatigue reaching the level of the limit of survival. Here, in addition to psychological reasons, there are often specific problems with well-being. They are associated with a lack of a healthy lifestyle, a minimum of movement, stress, and snacking on the go.
