It's a sad truth, but no person is born confident. Many people have to work long and hard to develop this quality, which can make life much easier. Some things and actions may seem tough and impossible due to the fact that most children were raised in an environment where shyness and self-doubt reigned. In this article we will tell you how not to be shy with guys, how to cope with fears of relationships and become the most charming girl.
Tip 2: Shine Light
If you want to know how to stop being shy with guys, then this advice is for you. Smile more often, wear brighter and richer colors. No, we are not talking about acid T-shirts and luminescent jackets.
You might be surprised, but your choice of clothing can make you feel confident. Of course, if you don't like purple, then don't wear it. But beyond the brown-gray-black palette, there should be a color that you like. Wear something bright and feel different. But remember that at first many glances will be directed at you, especially from “gray” and “dull” people. The main thing is to ignore them and move on with your head held high.
Wear nice underwear and clothes
Firstly, seductive lingerie and beautiful clothes help you feel desired and sexy. Secondly, with the help of clothes and accessories you can successfully emphasize all the advantages of your figure.
Think over a basic wardrobe taking into account your lifestyle, make a shopping list and gradually bring it to life. Shopping and trying on will become a source of pleasure and a great mood. Kim Kardashian has the same opinion.
Tip 7. Don't compromise with yourself
The following advice is on how to stop being shy in front of a guy in order to avoid compromising with yourself. Sacrificing your own style for the sake of conformity is the path of least resistance. This is also the path of least results when you try to overcome your shyness with men.
If you don't play sports, don't pretend to be an Olympic champion. It’s much easier to tell the truth and then “get to know” physical activity with your new friend. Good men who are worthy of your attention do not like women who always say “YES!” for all offers. They like those who have their own opinions, whom guys could respect.
Take care of your body
In system-vector psychology there is the following thesis: when a person does something that brings pleasure, he opens a source of a powerful energy charge. Life seems to start anew, a person likes himself, including accepting his body. Life becomes interesting and joyful.
Make caring for your body a pleasure to get to know and love it better:
- Do regular body treatments yourself or at a salon.
- Eliminate junk food from your diet.
- Give up bad habits.
Tip 8. Aerobics
Why is a girl shy about a guy, even if she is smart, educated and interesting? It's simple - she's unsure of herself. Often this is due to her upbringing and society, which inspired her to believe that she is ugly, not sexy enough, unattractive, etc. A great way to feel your energy and stop being shy about looking at a guy is to immerse yourself completely in sports. Don't become an ardent fan, but learn to take care of your health and figure.
Keeping yourself in shape and taking care of your body is what will help you cope with embarrassment. The physical shape you have has a direct and powerful impact on how you feel and perceive yourself. Work on improving your image and get rid of the idea that you are hopeless. You're probably the most beautiful person a guy has ever seen, but he's too shy to tell you.
Look at yourself in the mirror
Embarrassment and complexes about the body go away in the process of self-acceptance. Looking at yourself in the mirror helps with this. Psychologist and body-oriented therapist Olesya Ponomarenko recommends doing this:
- Take 10 minutes every day to look at yourself carefully in the mirror.
- During the exercise, focus on the positive aspects of the body, on those parts that you like. For example, don't think about weak biceps or short legs. Pay attention to the color of the eyes, hair, beautiful shoulder line.
This technique affects self-perception and helps to form an internal attractive image of oneself.
Tip 9. Guys can be shy and insecure too
Another thing that can help you become less shy: Guys can be shy too. It’s not just girls who experience embarrassment and fear of the opposite sex. But why is the guy shy? There can be many reasons: upbringing, fear of the unknown, and fear of relationships.
Guys also have their own criteria that they may not meet. This applies to appearance, behavior, and hobbies. Remember this fact to feel confident and stop being embarrassed by people of the opposite sex.
Tip 10. Keep persevering
Eliminating shyness is a long and difficult process. You cannot change from a small mouse to a big and strong lion in a short period. But don't ever give up, because a whole new world is waiting for you when you can finally come out of your shell.
Yes, there will be the occasional trip and someone might hurt you, but even the most confident girls get hurt sometimes. Pain is a part of life, but a very tiny one. If you are not afraid to take advantage of the opportunities that are available, then rather start a conversation with that guy you have been eyeing for several months.
Speak affirmations
Silhouette of a girl: Pixabay
Affirmations, that is, positive statements in the present tense, help you accept and love yourself, your body, increase self-esteem and achieve many goals in life.
Sexologist and marriage therapist Natalya Rusetskaya advises the following:
- Choose two short and meaningful phrases related to the installations you would like to purchase. For example, “I look luxurious” and “I am loved and in love.”
- Twice a day, go to the mirror, look at your reflection and repeat these phrases out loud for 5 minutes.
Phrases such as “I fully accept myself and my body”, “Each person is unique and beautiful in their own way”, “I have my own magnetism and sexuality” help in overcoming embarrassment and complexes.
Psychological blocks
Think about what you fear most when communicating with the opposite sex. This will help you find the answer to the question: “What to do if you’re shy about a guy?”
- If you are worried that you will seem stupid and uninteresting in communicating with a new acquaintance, then you are in vain. This fear is not supported by anything, because you cannot say for sure what the guy is thinking about when he is next to you. Give both yourself and him the opportunity to open up. The chances are high that your new friend will see an attractive, educated girl in front of him.
- If you are worried that you will remain deceived and disappointed, then this is a sure path to an apathetic and parasitic lifestyle. How not to be shy about guys? Just don't look at them as machines that are programmed to humiliate and insult. Most of them are still nice, well-mannered and gallant.
How to stop being shy about a guy
which you really like
Many girls are familiar with the feeling of constraint when communicating with a young man for whom they feel sympathy. Usually this behavior is caused by one factor: the girl is afraid of looking stupid in front of a young man. If you are also afraid that the guy you like won’t seem witty enough, and therefore avoid communicating with him, then you are making a big mistake. Just be yourself. It’s a rare guy who considers the skills of a good storyteller to be the main advantage in the opposite sex. If the guy has already begun to pay attention to you, and you have the opportunity to communicate with him, then you have managed to interest him according to completely different criteria.
The one you're dating
I'm embarrassed to eat and drink in front of him
There are often cases when girls cannot overcome their embarrassment and start eating or drinking in front of a young man. There may be several reasons for this. Perhaps you believe that the sight of you eating food is not aesthetic, and it will be unpleasant for the guy to watch it. It is possible that you feel like you are swallowing “loudly” and chewing your food sloppily. It may also be that you are afraid that the moment you start devouring your dessert or a more serious dish, the guy will ask you some question, and you will not be able to answer immediately and clearly.
If such fears are familiar to you, then it is advisable to get them out of your head as quickly as possible. You may not know this, but most guys love to watch a girl eat, and they like people with a good appetite more than those who are always on diets or for some other reason avoid having dinner or a simple snack together. You can also rest assured that almost all people eat the same way, and unless you behave completely disgracefully, you are unlikely to surprise a young man with anything. By refusing to share a meal together, you may even offend him. Realize that sooner or later the day will come when you will have to chew your food in his presence, and this does not require months of preparation - start at any nearest suitable moment so that the guy does not start to think you are strange. The more you attach importance to such a simple physiological process, the harder it will be for you to decide on it.
I'm embarrassed to undress in front of a guy
When a couple moves to a new stage of the relationship (intimacy), certain problems may arise on the girl’s part, which may have affected you as well. Girls are afraid to be completely naked in front of their partners, or do it only in pitch darkness, fearing that their lover will be disappointed when he sees their nakedness. The most interesting thing is that this fear is completely unjustified. The guy already has an idea of what you look like, and you won’t be able to surprise him with anything. If you think that your hips are too wide, then no matter what skirts you wear to disguise them, the guy has already managed to examine or “feel” them. The same can apply to the waist, legs or chest. Although the last aspect may be somewhat more difficult. Some girls with small breasts consider this a disadvantage and wear bras that add volume in the right places. If you act in the same way, then it is possible that the guy may actually be surprised in the end. You should realize that the truth cannot be hidden anyway, and it is quite possible that what seems like a flaw to you will cause completely different emotions in your partner. To avoid making a sudden discovery, wear a less voluminous bra at each new meeting, gradually reaching your true size. Most likely, the guy won’t notice anything, or the size of your breasts was no big secret to him anyway, despite all the tricks.
Why do you need to get rid of shyness?
Many people associate shyness with politeness and reserve. Such thoughts are often instilled by parents, urging their daughters to avoid careless boys who could offend or harm them.
But shyness has a number of negative features. A timid person avoids situations in which a “normal” person would act. Accordingly, a shy girl always misses opportunities that are available to others. In the end, she will sit near the window and regret that the guy she liked so much started dating a more confident classmate.
Shyness and embarrassment deprive you of some things: happy acquaintances, prospects, opportunities to achieve your goals and desires. Now you know how not to be shy with guys.
Is shyness always a bad thing?
It is important to understand that shyness is not a bad quality in every situation. By the way, this trait very rarely repels people around him, but rather touches him, in contrast to vulgarity, promiscuity, tactlessness and arrogance. As a rule, shy people lack all these unpleasant qualities. We also note that many older people and guys who are not looking for one-night entertainment consider shyness not a disadvantage, but an advantage for a girl, and sometimes they even specifically look for a life partner with just such a feature. Usually only complete opposites do not like this trait - arrogant people, of whom there are “many everywhere.” Ordinary people treat this quality with understanding, realizing that it is in no way capable of harming them personally, unlike many other unpleasant character traits that are inherent in some people.
Reviews of the opposite sex about shy girls
There are times when a confident and strong guy meets a beautiful and smart lady. He imagines what a strong and interesting relationship can develop between them, but all his attempts to get closer come to naught. They note that shy and insecure girls are not given any chance to express themselves:
- Such girls are isolated from society and avoid unnecessary contact with the outside world.
- They react negatively to any compliment and may use stereotyped expressions imposed by society. They believe that all guys will definitely hurt them, and hints or signs of attention are associated only with a sexual nature.
- They are closed in their own world, where it is much easier to sit and suffer than to act and conquer.
Why can't people think logically?
Modern psychology proves that the thoughts in our heads are not consciousness. This is something completely different... And a famous experiment conducted by two Harvard scientists proved this perfectly.
They took several apartments with different characteristics. Among them, only one had the maximum conditions for a comfortable stay, the rest were much worse.
Having gathered an audience of students, scientists forced them to THINK which apartment they liked best. The students were divided into three groups. The first group had to answer immediately after listening to all the characteristics of the apartments. The second group was given 3 minutes to think. And the third one was not allowed to think at all, and was forced to spend 3 minutes solving simple mathematical examples.
And what group of students do you think gave the maximum number of correct answers?
Well? Well… 
I will surprise you - but the one where they solved examples, and there was no way to think normally.
The first group was less successful.
And the worst results were shown by the group that was given the opportunity to THINK for 3 minutes about which apartment to choose...
And what conclusion can be drawn?
When we THINK for a LONG time, we make wrong decisions.
But why is everything happening like this?
Because there is ONE CORRECT and logically sound decision. But when you think, you begin to take into account various factors: “What will happen if this happens? What if this is the case?..”
In your brain, in addition to correct and smart connections between neurons, there are also your complexes, fears, and false attitudes. And your brain ALSO takes them into account.
When a person is shy, what does he think about? “I can’t, what if they refuse! You can’t do that, you have to be more modest!”
Having shyness, the only right solution is to get rid of this complex and develop your communication skills.
But if a person has false beliefs and attitudes that contradict reality, he will make the wrong decision.
This is why our world is full of seemingly smart people, but there are so many losers in it. Those who make WRONG decisions every day.
When a cadet writes to me about her problem, my task is to identify her false attitudes. Dispel her doubts. Show the reasons for her complex and the harm they cause her. And then she HERSELF makes a competent and logical decision in life.
Desire to change
No one can make you confident if you don't want it yourself. You must clearly follow the intended goal, overcoming any difficulties.
Yes, at first it will be difficult to overcome your fears and start at least looking guys in the eyes. But it will become much easier. You will understand that every guy is also a person who has his own ideas, hobbies, problems, emotions and even phobias.
Motivate yourself regularly. Surround yourself with confident and strong people, but never let pity consume you. You must fight such vices as apathy, laziness and self-flagellation. Play sports, change your hair color, buy new clothes that will shine against your gray suits. All this will help make you a confident person who has overcome shyness and fears.
To stop being shy about guys, you first need to stop being afraid of everything around you. For example, start speaking in public and get rid of stage fright, take a fencing course or take a yoga class. Forget everything you were told before, even if your parents or friends wanted to warn you. Guys don't bite, and there are an incredible number of charming, attractive and attentive young people in the world who can become your support, support and protection.
