How to raise a boy correctly

January 19, 2017

Averyanova Sveta

How to properly raise boys is a difficult process, psychology, which should be treated with responsibility. To raise boys, to raise them to be real men, you need to put in a lot of effort, be patient, and forget about love.

After the baby is born, all parents want and try to protect the child from possible dangers that await him in an unfamiliar, so unusual environment. Time passes, the baby grows up. He begins to walk on his own. And it is during such a period that parents must realize (especially the mother) that their baby is an individual, the baby develops an individual character, hobbies, desires and personal needs arise, the baby cannot always be with them.

Without a doubt, the boy will need his mother’s care, attention and support for quite a long time, but gradually he will begin to move away from his mother, spend more time with friends, and engage in his favorite hobbies. The peculiarities of raising boys are mainly to not put pressure on the child with strong guardianship (whether he is 4 years old, 5 or 7 years old); following this path, you risk raising a classic “mama’s boy”.

It is difficult for a child to decide who he loves more: mommy or daddy. This is an impossible choice for a baby! Both parents are the most important people in the whole world for him. While the boy is small, he is more often with his mother than with his father. Dad is at work, and the boy sees him mainly before bed and on weekends.

But as time passes, the baby grows up and strives more for dad.

This cannot be prevented in any way. Psychologists give different advice on raising boys, and the main one is to allow father and son to spend most of their time together (especially if the child is 5-7 years old) so that they have their own male secrets and can do exclusively male work.

Believe me, such time with dad will be of great benefit in developing the boy’s personality. At this age, he gradually realizes who he is and what role he will have to play in the future - these are all the features of raising boys.

Born to be a man

A win-win option to show your joy about raising a true man is to name the baby with a real man's name. That is why it is better not to take dual names, which are also worn by women. But the accepted attributes for boys in the form of blue clothes and blue strollers are not very important in the formation of a masculine character. This is rather a signal from the parents that they have a growing man.

A strong and reliable protector - and one wouldn’t dare say that about a baby who hasn’t even learned to speak yet, but grabs his parents by the hair with his small, grasping fingers.

However, you can look at it with different eyes, clenched palms are a real fist, the requirement to constantly suck is the makings of a healthy appetite, and loud screams are the commands of a young commander.

A question that dozens of specialists are working on to solve

The formation of personality and the maturation of character occurs from the very moment a person is born. Every day, the baby learns about the world around him, forms relationships with others, realizes his importance and place, and in parallel with this, he develops completely natural desires and needs. This development does not go smoothly, and critical situations and conflicts occur with a certain frequency and have similar moments at each age. This is what allowed psychologists to formulate such a concept as age-related crises. It would not hurt not only young parents, but also experienced grandparents who consider themselves to know what raising a child (3-4 years old) involves. Psychology, expert advice and recommendations from those who have experienced these tips themselves will help smooth out clashes between the little ones and representatives of the adult world.

Annual independence

One year old boys love to make a fuss. In any situation, they find a reason to show their character, achieve their goal and force others to obey.

Raising a one-year-old baby is the main stage in the development of personality. During the course of a year, the baby develops, in addition to character, other qualities: perseverance, determination and self-confidence.

Treat such a phenomenon with calm and patience, do not even try to “remake” its character, be patient and show leniency. Don’t be afraid to once again show your love for him. During this period, boys need it no less than girls. Parental care, warmth and hugs will not bring him any harm.

How to raise a boy? A question parents ask all the time. It’s important not to overdo it. The baby needs so-called self-actualization, self-affirmation. Therefore, there is no need to treat his requests and opinions as something stupid and unnecessary.

Testing parents for strength

At the age of three and four years, a little person is no longer an object doing everything according to the orders of adults, but a fully formed individual personality, with his own emotions and desires. Sometimes these desires do not coincide at all with the rules established by adults, and, trying to achieve his goal, the child begins to show character, or, as adults say, to be capricious. The reason could be any: the wrong spoon for eating, the wrong juice that you wanted a minute ago, an unpurchased toy, etc. For parents, these reasons seem insignificant, and the only way out they see is to overcome the desire of the baby, force him to do as they want and are used to doing. Raising children 3-4 years old sometimes requires incredible patience from others.

Sturdy unit

At three years old, the baby begins to separate his personality from his parents. Now he has developed psychological independence, and he is looking for a suitable model of behavior for himself.

During this period, children study relationships between people of the same and different sexes, they learn what is good and bad, what can be done and what should not be done.

At this age, boys have a growing desire to work with men, to be brave in different situations, to be careful with ladies, to devote themselves to work, in general, to be the same as their father, grandfather, brother. The baby is looking for himself and taking his place in society, even if for now he is in a family and peer group.

How to properly raise a boy at 3 years old? This is the most opportune moment to lay down the right directions in life and demonstrate the behavioral patterns characteristic of men. The main and first example in this should certainly be dad. In addition, the boy pays attention not just to advice about the behavior of men, but also to how dad treats the rest of the family.

Raising a child at 3-4 years old and psychology

The main mistake is considered to be “template pedagogy”. From the age of three, you need to take into account the child’s temperament type. Observe reactions, interests, behavior. Determine your child’s psychotype. There are no universal methods of education. Find an individual method, adapting to your specific needs. Then there will be understanding in the relationship. For the silent, closed, active, hot-tempered, impatient, a different approach is needed. The psychology of development of children 3-4 years old is of great importance in education. Knowing the changes that are taking place, it is easier for the parent to understand the child.

Basics:

Now your baby has a lot of questions, don’t ignore them. Answer in clear language. If the truth is too complex to comprehend, then simplify the answer by revealing it superficially.
Study, enrich your vocabulary. It’s bad to force someone to exercise when you’re not in the mood, you’re sick, or you’re overworked in kindergarten. The information is then poorly remembered, which means there is no benefit. The desire to develop disappears.

Explain difficult life situations through fairy tales or toy plays. These are types of art therapy. Using plush characters as an example makes it easier to convey the realities of life.
Teach to ask for help. If things don’t work out well, he should know that his family is ready to help. Don’t be strict, don’t ridicule: “You can’t put on a sock yourself.” Having said this as a joke, you cannot know exactly how the baby perceives the phrase.
It is important to instill love for the world around us, people, animals. It’s good if the baby learns to carefully handle plants, pets, and birds. Such children are calmer, kinder, and can more easily cope with stress and meeting new people. They are not aggressive, the emotional background is stable.
Encourage politeness. Teach your child to say hello, goodbye, and say thank you. Remind him if he forgets, but don’t scold him.

Daughters and sons. Development principles

Regardless of gender, there are similar developmental foundations.

We develop fine motor skills. It has a positive effect on brain function, attentiveness and speech. Example: make figures out of pebbles or seeds, play palms, massage your palms with the saying “magpie-crow.” Act out fairy tale scenes with finger toys.
We are developing an articulatory apparatus. We sing slowly, syllable by syllable, and do exercises for the lips and tongue.
We do exercises and massages. Children can get bored doing warm-ups alone - join us. Turn on the catchy soundtrack. Find relevant videos. There are special programs dedicated to children's exercises. The child will need to repeat the movements of the presenter, animators, and cartoon characters.
The child will develop correctly in the form of play. This is a relaxed way to gain new knowledge. The main thing is that the fidget has fun. “Smart” toys, books, albums with tasks, and logic games will help you. Make sure they are age appropriate. Exercises that are too complex will confuse you and the game will no longer be interesting.
Improving memory. Please retell what you saw on the playground, what the names of your friends and cartoon characters are.
We teach you to work and help. Some children themselves show a desire to help. If this moment has not yet arrived, then be the first to take the initiative. Start with small tasks. Always thank for your help.
We instill “healthy” habits: stretching, brushing your teeth.
We teach ourselves how to eat, dress, and put on shoes.
Let's potty train, if it's still relevant.
The child begins to perceive himself in accordance with his gender. Therefore, in order not to disrupt development, buy suitable things.

Raising a child at 3 or 4 years old if you have a girl

Develop useful skills that you will need in life. Let me help in the kitchen. Let it be a banal matter of folding cups according to size, color, and wiping unbreakable dishes dry. Let me clean the house and water the flowers.
Buy useful toys that will make your life easier. There will be no need for two housewives to “fight” over common items. Example: children's ironing board, toy vacuum cleaner, set of dishes, kitchen set.
The daughter begins to repeat after her mother. If she wants to repeat her makeup to the point of hysteria, tactfully stop these attempts. Allow me to carefully look at the contents of your cosmetic bag to satisfy your curiosity. Explain: adults use this, but it is harmful for little ones. Offer to show creativity on the painted face of the princess, apply makeup with washable markers on the doll. Encourage the desire to look well-groomed: comb your hair, do your hair, wear beautiful hairpins. This will be an alternative solution to the problem of makeup, which is still prohibited.

Raising a child at 3-4 years old when you have a boy

Instill interests that will be useful to the boy in the future. Tools, names of cars, active sports games, toy soldiers. Listen to your son's opinion. If he is more interested in soft toys, this should not be discouraged or ridiculed.
Don't force him to play something that doesn't interest him. If a boy is attracted to playing children's kitchens and likes cooking, then perhaps he is a future chef. Maybe he will become an exemplary family man, ready to feed his loved ones delicious food.
Take care of your masculinity. Typically, boys want to express themselves and demonstrate independence, more stubbornly than girls. They do not like restrictions on freedom and express strong protest. Provide more opportunities to express yourself.
Don't overdo it with security. Scratched knees, falls, abrasions are inevitable. It is impossible to protect your son from all threats. Moments like these can be painful, but they provide invaluable experience. The boy begins to understand why this happened. Next time, it's better to listen to adults.

Unmasculine occupation

If you see your five-year-old son in his dress and with lipstick on, you will most likely be horrified. But there is no need to panic right away. This is perhaps just a game, a way to understand the world around him. But if you notice that your son at the age of 5-7 is increasingly drawn to women's things or his behavior raises any suspicions in you, do not be lazy and consult a psychologist.

As a rule, such behavior is provoked by ordinary problems in the family and incorrect educational methods. The same violations sometimes occur in boys, where the woman has a strong, superior role, and the man decides practically nothing or no one is interested in his opinion. Raising a 5-year-old boy should under no circumstances allow any mistakes.

It happens that boys' passion for girls' clothes manifests itself when their younger sister grows up. And most often this happens if parents cannot give their attention in equal shares. So that a four- or five-year-old boy can “come to his senses,” praise him more, say out loud that he is your favorite son, a good boy. Show it in actions.

You need to be careful! If your baby avoids boys and prefers female roles in “mother-daughter” games, this indicates that he is afraid to be in the role of a boy!!!

Boys are much more sensitive than girls.

They are more afraid of the dark, quarrels, screams and tears of their mother. Boys are much more likely to stutter, enuresis (urinary incontinence) and fear of loneliness. They close themselves off much more, hold back their emotions and remain silent more. Traces of such experiences can be found on the toy: You need to worry if it is very worn in some places.

Boys do not grow up to be men because they are born in a man's body. They feel strong and begin to adopt masculine behavior only with upbringing and the opportunity to observe the behavior of their father and brothers, whom they trust. Otherwise, boys will be drawn to their mother, and in the future this will lead to conflict: the body of a man, and the character of a woman. The baby should be protected from complexes. And thus you will have peace of mind for your son.

To know how to raise a 5-year-old boy, you need to read books on child psychology and attend several lectures by child psychologists.

Advice from psychologists

Every family has its own principles for raising children. It seems to parents that their education system is correct. But sometimes shortcomings in upbringing negatively affect the character and behavior in society of an adult child. To avoid mistakes, psychologists advise:

Lead by example. It is difficult to prove to a boy that women need to be respected if his father constantly scolds and humiliates his mother. The same goes for bad habits, attitudes towards sports and studies.
Give freedom. Most mothers try to protect their children from danger, mistakes and troubles. This is an instinctive desire to protect your child. And that's okay. But you shouldn’t do everything instead of your son, even a little one. From childhood he must learn to be independent. He should be allowed to eat, dress, run and jump on his own. Even if after this you have to clean up, cover up broken knees, and console. In addition, it is important to give the boy freedom of choice and decision-making.

You shouldn’t decide everything for the child, otherwise he will grow up to be an infantile creature not adapted to real life.
Be an example or help find one. A boy needs to look up to an adult male. If the father, for any reason, cannot serve as a worthy role model, you should help find such a person. This could be an uncle, grandfather or sports coach. An example would be a literary character or a famous person.
Create harmony in the family. Regardless of age, every person needs the love and support of loved ones. If a father and mother respect and love each other and their children, then this is the best environment for the development of a harmonious, mentally strong personality.
Teach and encourage the expression of emotions. Men, like women, can and should show emotions. Hugs, kisses, kind words are their manifestations. You shouldn’t impose on a boy the stereotype that men don’t cry. Sometimes even a serious adult man needs to cry.
Important!
Of course, you shouldn’t encourage your child to solve everything with tears. He should be taught to cope with emotions and react to insult or failure in a different way.
Accept your son's individuality. If a boy doesn’t like football or men’s sports, this is not critical. Let him dance, draw, sing, play musical instruments. It's not just girls who are creative.
Teach the boy to accept defeat with dignity and admit his mistakes. Making mistakes is not shameful, but even useful. The main thing is to be able to learn a lesson and move on.