Often there are those next to us to whom our happiness is like a bone in their throat.
Don't let their poison poison your world. We all rejoice and feel inspired when we manage to achieve our goals. But not everyone rejoices with us! Somehow I don’t even want to think about this, but there are often those nearby who feel our happiness is like a bone in their throat. The reason for everything is banal human envy.
At the same time, at first glance, envious people look like well-wishers and are happy for you. In fact, they are filled with bile and jealousy of other people's successes, so they can cause significant harm to you.
The fact is that envious people suffer from an inferiority complex and lack of self-confidence, so they are irritated by other people's achievements and achievements. But their complexes are no excuse. Envy is a nasty feeling.
Recognizing an envious person among others is not such an easy task. But if you set a goal, and additionally arm yourself with a list of 12 signs that you are envied, you can easily figure them out.
Imitation.
A person who is wildly jealous of your career successes, relationships with your loved one or in your family, your clothes, etc., will subconsciously try to copy you. Moreover, he will do this so blindly and obsessively that he himself will not notice the absurdity of what is happening.
Oscar Wilde said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but in reality it causes nothing but irritation. And who likes it when their ideas and style are stolen? His life, after all?
But instead of getting angry (and you have the right to be, this is normal), it is better to somehow hint to these people that it would be nice to find themselves in this life. Explain that they are much more likely to succeed without pretending to be someone else.
Why is a loved one jealous?
No matter how the fair sex convinces others that female friendship exists, this does not negate the presence of envy between friends. To be honest, jealousy is a common occurrence between two people. Moreover, it is worth noting that envy does not mean that the friendship is not sincere or ostentatious.
But envy and envy are different. It’s one thing if you bought a new coat, but your friend also dreams of one and doesn’t hesitate to say so. A worse situation can be considered situations when envy affects friendly communication. In this case, alienation may occur, which can lead to a break in friendly relations.
If we talk about possible factors that can lead to envy, it is worth mentioning the following:
- Successful family life. You have a wonderful family: a caring and hard-working husband, obedient and talented children. You can boast of material wealth and excellent relationships with your spouse’s relatives. All this can cause envy, especially if your friend's family life is far from ideal. It’s good if, looking at your example, your friend will strive to change her life for the better. It is much worse if, being jealous of you, she tries to cause discord in your family or start false gossip in the team.
- Attractive appearance. There are no women who would not like to arouse admiration for their beauty in men. You have a slender figure and a pleasant face, your colleagues always compliment you, and on the street men turn around. If your friend cannot boast of a spectacular appearance, then for her your beauty can become the reason for the development of complexes and, as a result, lead to envy. Such friendships rarely last for a long time and sooner or later a conflict will inevitably break out based on appearance.
- Good luck in love. You have been friends since school and are sure that you simply have no closer person. A new employee appears in your work team, with whom your friend has fallen in love. She dreams about him, makes plans to conquer him, and he takes it and begins to care for you. Very often it is the man who becomes a kind of bone of contention between hitherto reliable girlfriends. If you want to maintain your friendship, then you will have to refuse a potential lover. But your refusal does not guarantee that envy will go away.
- Prestigious job. You have a good job and a stable high salary. You have the opportunity for career growth and additional education. You can afford frequent visits to cafes and restaurants, which your friend, unfortunately, cannot boast of. Such manifestations of one’s own success can cause envy, and this is not surprising, because everyone dreams of the same thing. It’s good if envy of you does not develop into hostility, because your friend may decide that you are deliberately showing off, trying to humiliate her with such behavior.
- Extraordinary features. There are people who succeed in everything on the first try. I wanted to learn a new language - I took courses and achieved my goal in a short time. Or maybe you have a wonderful voice, because of which you are asked to sing at the next corporate event? If your friend is not talented, then feelings of envy may lead her to develop self-doubt.
- Unhappy childhood. Not everyone can boast of a happy childhood in a wealthy and prosperous family. Children who grew up in poverty and from an early age heard negative reviews from their parents about successful and wealthy people, as adults begin to react very painfully to other people's achievements. Following the example of their parents, they are accustomed to criticizing others, calling them show-offs, without even trying to change their lives for the better. As a result, black envy leads to the destruction of even the brightest spiritual qualities.
Important
There is always envy in women's companies. Its appearance is facilitated by gossip, speculation and various rumors.
Downplaying someone else's success.
Envious people constantly try to downplay, or even neutralize, the achievements of other people. At the same time, they do not disdain the dirtiest methods, such as lies and gossip.
Remember that arguing with them or proving something is a waste of time. They will foam at the mouth to prove the opposite, and you will be nervous.
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Do your job, be humble and least of all worry about what they say about you behind your back.
Nonverbal signs of envy
Knowing sign language can sometimes be very helpful. If you don’t find obvious signs of envy, but something in a person annoys you, try to read his attitude by gestures and facial expressions. So, how to recognize envy by non-verbal signs:
- Insincere smile. When a person experiences joy, the corners of the lips involuntarily rise, and along with this, wrinkles appear around the eyes. A tense fake smile is caused by a slight effort, so it is characterized by a slight curvature of the lips, a lack of eye expression, and an exaggerated stretching of the mouth at this moment. It’s not difficult to notice falsehood; the main thing is to look carefully in the person’s face when you talk to him and tell him about your successes.
- Special hand position. If your interlocutor is jealous of you and pours lies into your ears, then he will involuntarily hold his hands near his mouth, as if covering it. A person is subconsciously ashamed of his envy, and the brain gives a signal for hand action. Insincerity can also appear in a closed position: arms crossed over the chest and a slightly tilted torso.
- Running glance. When a person feels jealous and hides it, he cannot look you in the eye. He constantly looks away, looks first in one direction, then in the other, lowers his eyes to the floor. Such a staring game is very eloquent, and it is simply impossible not to notice it. Envy is also often characterized by narrowed fox eyes.
- Head tilt. Usually straightforward, sincere people stand straight and keep their heads straight. Envious people bow their heads and turn them from side to side, as if fearing that they will be discovered. A nervous state and subconscious pangs of conscience make themselves felt.
Pay attention to non-verbal signs of human envy in a team, among friends and relatives. If you regularly notice them in any person, try to temporarily limit communication with her and not trust any secrets. Take care of yourself and remember that nowadays few people can be trusted.
They will leave you at the slightest... success.
Generally, people surround us and praise us as long as we are successful. But if you fail, they scatter in different directions, like rats from a sinking ship.
It’s understandable – we couldn’t be more useful to them.
Envious people are the opposite. They run away when you achieve your goals and move forward. This is explained by the fact that your well-being only increases their feelings of inferiority and envy. They don’t like to be in the rays of someone else’s glory when the comparison is not in their favor, so they simply leave so as not to torment themselves.
But when you fail, they will return. But not to lend a shoulder or support. No, they will come to rejoice in your misfortunes.
Classic reactions to your envy
You can fight envy and convince yourself that these people have more piety or they deserve it. Many people reason: “I understand that I didn’t do enough good in my past life, but they worked hard. I am reaping the fruits of what I have done!” Makes sense, doesn't it? It just doesn't make it any easier
