Don't be silent: 17 great topics for conversation with a girl that will help you get to know each other

One of the reasons why guys don't approach or meet girls is the famous "I don't know what to talk to her about." Indeed, when a guy approaches a girl, all thoughts often disappear from his head, his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth, and instead of a casual conversation, something awkward happens.

At best, the dialogue will be full of awkward pauses. At worst, the guy will start talking about topics that will once and for all make the girl lose interest in conversations with this guy.

Of course, the more you communicate with girls, the better you will do. And over time, it won’t be a problem for you to find words and topics for conversation with the girl you like .

But, just in case, we decided to give you a shoulder. This article contains 110 interesting topics for conversation with a girl that will make life easier and help guys have pleasant conversations with young ladies.

Competent dialogue technique

The topics we'll cover below are suitable for any situation. But in order for your dialogue to proceed smoothly and be pleasant for both, you should follow several rules:

  • There is no need to interrupt your interlocutor or cut off her thoughts.
  • Talk to each other and listen, rather than turning the conversation on yourself all the time.
  • Even if the stated position does not seem correct to you, treat it with respect.
  • If you are already asked about something, try to avoid monosyllabic answers. An interlocutor who is only capable of “yes”, “no”, “I don’t know” does not arouse interest.
  • If you are in the mood for a romantic relationship with a girl, you should not bring up your ex in conversation. And even more so to compare a new acquaintance with her.

When you talk to a girl, try to tune in to her feelings. Avoid topics that are unpleasant to some of you. And be careful with questions: do not turn the conversation into an interrogation with bias.

First message

Your first message should be informative and positive. Identify yourself and remind us who you are:

"Hello Yana. This is Alexander, we met at the exhibition today”;

“Hello Olga, this is Yaroslav. Oksana introduced us yesterday.”

Looking ahead, I’ll say - don’t always respond to a girl’s messages right away. Mix your answers - fast, slow, long-short. This will force her to constantly check her phone and wait for an answer.

And further. Don't suddenly fall silent and wait for a reaction. Maybe earlier, when SMS was paid, and the Internet was only via a wire from a modem, this was an effective way. Nowadays, everyone has a gadget with the Internet at their fingertips around the clock. And the fact that you don’t answer means only one thing for the girl - you don’t want to.

Well, you know, who would want to be the one they remember every few days out of boredom.

How to start a conversation correctly: 10 topics that always work

When meeting a girl, you should be sensitive. If you ask questions “head-on”, your interlocutor may be afraid of such pressure. Therefore, to ensure that the acquaintance goes smoothly and you leave a good impression, choose neutral topics:

  • Would you like to move in the future?
  • Do you have any favorite books and films?
  • Do you have pets or would you like to have one?
  • Do you have a global goal that you are striving for?
  • Does your family have any special traditions and customs?
  • Where would you like to go on vacation if you could crash right now?
  • What genre of music do you prefer?
  • Are you more of a man of science or a man of faith?
  • Are there any actions that you are particularly proud of?
  • What person could never become your friend?

These questions will help you get to know your interlocutor better, but will not touch on too personal issues. By answering them, the girl herself will be able to set a boundary - what she is ready to talk about and what she is not yet ready to talk about.

What to talk about if you're already dating

It happens that you go on a date and everything seems fine, but there’s nothing to talk about. In these cases, you can discuss the following topics:

  • last movie watched;
  • future plans;
  • upcoming holiday;
  • latest achievements;
  • new music;
  • an event you can go to together;
  • sex (if you’ve been together for a long time, let’s be honest);
  • secret desires and fears;
  • a sensational series that you could watch together;
  • a resonant case in society.

The longer you are together, the less awkward the conversation becomes. There comes a moment when you feel comfortable even being silent together. But this does not mean that your relationship becomes boring. You're just getting closer.

Avoid one-sidedness.

If one interlocutor talks all the time, and the second is only silent, it’s time to urgently change tactics.

If a guy talks only about himself all the time, the girl will probably consider him a narcissist. Or she will think that she herself is uninteresting, boring, banal. In both situations, the interlocutor will try to interrupt communication and begin to avoid further meetings.

If a woman talks incessantly, and the guy just nods his head and “hooks”, everything will end no less sadly. Most likely, the chosen one will not even remember the name or face of a friend the next day. Or she will be too bored with him. She will think that he is a quiet, weak mattress who is incapable of achieving anything.

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Neutral conversations for any occasion

What to talk about with a girl if you met for coffee during the day and there is no talk of an intimate setting? Or if you're having a nice walk in the park with a pond and ducks, but you don't know how to start a conversation? There are universal questions you can ask to take your relationship further.

Hobbies and passion

  • Do you like to play sports? Do you have a favorite look?
  • Do you prefer extreme or calm entertainment?
  • Do you have regular hobbies?
  • Do your parents (friends, environment) support your hobby?
  • Have you thought about making money doing what you love?
  • Do you feel talented in any area?
  • What would you like to learn?
  • Do you like shopping? What do you like to choose and buy?
  • Do you get addicted to things quickly?
  • Does travel inspire you?

Work and career

  • What was your first job?
  • At what age did you start working?
  • Do you think that while you are a student you should start building a career or is it better to study well?
  • How do you see your dream job?
  • Do you like your boss?
  • Would you like to change your job?
  • How do you see your career growth in the future?
  • What profession seems ridiculous to you?
  • Do you think parents should influence their children's choices or not?
  • Could you suddenly change your profession just because you wanted to?

Rest and free time

  • How do you prefer to relax?
  • Do you have a scenario for your ideal vacation?
  • Do you like road trips?
  • What do you prefer - train or plane?
  • Can you tell me the funniest story from your vacation with your friends?
  • What would you do if you didn't have to study/work?
  • Do you have any favorite alcoholic drinks or cocktails?
  • What does your ideal date look like?
  • Do you like to dance?
  • Do you prefer to relax alone or in company?

Family and friends

  • Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
  • Do you have any brothers or sisters?
  • At what age would you like to start a family?
  • What qualities of people do you consider to be the key to strong and happy relationships?
  • Do you want kids?
  • Does your family have any special traditions?
  • Do you often visit your parents?
  • Would you like to change something about your childhood?
  • What do your parents do for work?
  • Do you consider family the most important thing in life?

Trips

  • Where would you like to go right now?
  • Do you have any favorite airlines?
  • What kind of holiday do you prefer?
  • What do you prefer - mountains, forest or sea?
  • Have you ever been abroad?
  • Which country's culture attracts you?
  • Where would you never go?
  • Have you had any funny situations while traveling?
  • Do you often travel somewhere alone?
  • Who would you really like to go on a trip with?

Use a sense of humor.

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If you manage to evoke a sincere smile or even laughter from your chosen one, this will be an obvious success. Humor is considered a masculine quality and on a subconscious level it allows the one who uses it to dominate. Girls feel it too.

However, bombarding your friend with jokes is not a good idea. Telling formulaic jokes is a bad way to impress her. The beauty of comedy lies in situationality and improvisation. That is, it is better for humor to be associated with:

  • current environment - passers-by, buildings, nature, events around;
  • the topic under discussion, the girl’s recent words;
  • yourself - healthy self-irony can be very sexy;
  • real life stories (if they are related to the topic of conversation).

Even a simple, uncomplicated joke will cheer up the lady, interest her, and help you relax.

What to talk about with a girl depending on the situation

What to talk about with a girl often depends on the environment. Some topics will be inappropriate in correspondence, while others will be much easier to discuss at a distance.

By correspondence

What to talk about with a girl on VK or another social network? Firstly, it is better not to touch on too personal topics. Not everyone is ready to discuss private issues when they don’t even see the other person. Here are some perfectly acceptable topics:

  • Would you like to work in show business?
  • Which celebrities inspire you?
  • What dish would you really like to eat right now?
  • What are you missing in this life?
  • Do you spend a lot of time on social networks?
  • Could you live without a smartphone?
  • Are you an emotional person?
  • What's your favorite perfume?
  • Do you have a fear of the future?
  • What style of clothing do you prefer?

We recommend not to violate the girl’s personal boundaries in correspondence. For example, if he wrote that he was going to take a shower and go to bed, you shouldn’t embarrass her with a cheeky “And without me?” This will only cause rejection, because you are not close yet. And even more so, you don’t need to talk about frank and intimate things, otherwise your interlocutor may think that you only need sex.

By phone

By phone you can expand your thoughts without restrictions.

  • If you had to give up one of your feelings, what would it be?
  • What do people around you not know about you?
  • What can get under your skin?
  • What decision do you consider the most important in your life?
  • Do you consider yourself a hot-tempered person?
  • Was there something you did that you are still ashamed of?
  • Have there been turning points in your life?
  • What event do you remember with trepidation?
  • What makes you feel anxious?
  • What do you laugh at the hardest?

In person

Communicating in person is even easier than by correspondence - you can see the emotions of your interlocutor and enjoy it. On a date with a girl, you can ask her the following questions:

  • What will you take with you to a desert island?
  • Can you describe yourself in three words?
  • Do you prefer chaos or order?
  • Do you have temptations that you can't help but give in to?
  • What do you do to relax?
  • What is your favorite fictional character?
  • Who do you admire?
  • What would you spend a million dollars on?
  • What have you never done, but really want to?
  • What's your favorite time of day?

How a guy should behave on a first date: 55 tips

  1. It is advisable to first thank the girl for accepting your offer to meet.
  2. When arranging a meeting, you can agree in advance what topics that will be interesting to both of you will discuss on a date.
  3. Do not use rude words, obscenities and jargon when expressing your thoughts. A truly smart man will always find the right words to describe a given situation.
  4. Don't make hasty conclusions about her time and availability. If you invite a girl somewhere without even asking if she has time for it, then refusal is almost guaranteed.
  5. Do not show your superiority when communicating with the staff of the cafe or restaurant where your first date is scheduled.
  6. It’s good if you ask questions that require extensive answers, perhaps even discussions, encouraging your interlocutor to express an opinion, share thoughts and impressions.
  7. Don't ask what guys she's been with or what cars she drives.
  8. Show emotions, share impressions, experiences, thoughts, be open and lively.
  9. Be literate, you shouldn’t amaze her on the first date with words like “theirs”, “instead”, “lay down”, “my birthday”, etc.
  10. It may turn out that you graduated from the same school or studied at the same university in similar specialties. Similarities like these make girls trust you.
  11. Tell us about a few of your “failures” in life. Whether you were little or already grown up, laugh at yourself. Girls like it when a guy has self-irony.
  12. You can find out which topics of conversation would be more appropriate by looking at her profile on social networks. If she has noted interests, there are photos that characterize her or her lifestyle, then it will be easier to decide on the topic of the conversation.
  13. Give value selflessly: tell more yourself.
  14. You can always voice what you feel about her now. What emotions does it give rise to in you? What awakens and awakens in you when she is near, but without vulgarity.
  15. Inner well-being is reflected in external image and charm. Be confident in your attractiveness, and the girl will be imbued with this feeling.
  16. You need to evoke emotions in a girl. Which ones are not important. Sadness, joy, surprise, fear, delight, admiration. Of course, don’t take the situation to the point of absurdity. Disgust and horror are also emotions, but these emotions are unlikely to work for you.
  17. Listen to her without interrupting.
  18. It's better to discuss controversial topics than boring ones. On the first date, guys usually balance, solving two problems at once: to show themselves and to carefully find out something about the girl.
  19. Tell us about what you succeed and like. This way you will show passion for your business, skill, dedication - and give the impression of a person who loves life and knows how to find interesting things in it
  20. You shouldn't be afraid to seem funny or stupid. Many people are tense and don't say what they really want to say.
  21. Don't make comments about a girl's style or appearance. Even a seemingly innocent remark to a girl “you would look better without bangs!” It can ruin the impression of you and offend the girl.
  22. Be polite. Don't ask the girl something too personal right away, don't interrupt, use active listening techniques and be interested in her. The ability to be a good conversationalist is half the success.

  23. On the first date, you shouldn’t ask a girl about her previous relationships, this can bring up unpleasant memories, she will become withdrawn, and the evening will be ruined.
  24. Don't talk to her about death, terrorists, bank robberies or anything negative.
  25. Typically, teenage girls are interested in music, films, creativity, and travel. Others, but a smaller percentage, are interested in books or sports. And still others – cooking. These conversation topics are usually win-win options.
  26. Talk about what really interests you, because you met in order to get to know each other better.
  27. Make more jokes. Sharp, subtle and on time. Humor will turn even the most inarticulate and chaotic thing you've ever said into a stunning story. Brewing discontent can always be corrected with humor.
  28. Don't try to find false interests in order to please a girl. This is a common mistake a guy makes on a first date.
  29. The main thing is not what to talk about, but how to do it. Don't try to dominate, but don't be passive either. React to her answers with warmth and genuine interest.
  30. Be yourself, do not deceive your interlocutor by attributing to yourself some heroic qualities or actions, successes and achievements that do not exist. A lie can be revealed quite quickly and unexpectedly, and women, as a rule, do not forgive deception, especially if the relationship begins with it.
  31. Don't take on her interests or conversational style. To find a common interest, you don’t have to adjust and neglect your life’s boundaries.
  32. You can honestly and openly say: “I don’t even know what to say. Ask me about something".
  33. Be original and emotional.
  34. Tell us about what books you read, what and who they say. Ask which ones she reads.
  35. You need to give the appropriate emotional coloring to your speech for better perception by the girl, this will help make her fall in love with you.
  36. Fantasize about different fun topics.
  37. Ask the right questions - ones that require a detailed answer. Avoid questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no.” Think about them in advance.
  38. Be a gallant gentleman - it always makes a guy look good.
  39. Don't be afraid to improvise. It is impossible to prepare for everything, no matter how thorough the preparation. Therefore, be prepared to show originality and attentiveness in any unforeseen situation.
  40. Asking about the square footage of an apartment or income level is extremely undesirable. This is not an acquaintance of convenience to be so interested in your personal life.
  41. Speak slowly with emphasis. If you say some points more expressively, this is normal.
  42. Arrive on your date on time, even a little early, so as not to make the girl wait. It is unlikely that you can impress the lady you like by being late for the first meeting.
  43. You should not think long about the topic of the conversation; the choice of topic should be based on the results of observing the girl and the environment.
  44. The secret to trust and comfort is to open up to a girl and talk directly and openly.
  45. Express yourself fully, do not filter your words. You should voice your fantasies in front of her and not be shy about them.
  46. Even if your views differ on something, your disagreement with each other can lead to a heated discussion. Even if the argument leads nowhere, intellectual exercise will bring pleasure.
  47. Don't talk about politics, religious beliefs and other fundamental serious things that almost always involve argument and discussion. These topics are definitely not for the first date.

  48. Openly declare your sympathy for her, do not give understatement the slightest chance.
  49. Communicate with her the same way you would with your close friends.
  50. Do not allow ridicule under any circumstances, even if the views of the interlocutor do not coincide with yours.
  51. You should always pay attention to its appearance. This is gallant and pleasant for a lady.
  52. You should not ask personal questions about a girl’s family, unless she herself expresses a desire to tell you more about her relationships with her parents, brothers and sisters. On the first date, it is inappropriate to delve into the girl’s personal family affairs.
  53. Don't ask a girl too many questions on the first date. At least at first. You should not communicate as if you are interviewing her and asking her question after question. Otherwise, it will look as if you are some kind of prosecutor or district police officer during interrogation.
  54. Learn to stop communication at its peak. Understatement and mystery will make the girl look forward to new meetings.
  55. Show your best moral principles - everyone has them one way or another. And when there are not too many of them, and they are really useful for life, girls respect such conservatism.

Interesting and unusual topics for conversation with a girl

Unusual topics of conversation with a girl that can turn the conversation in an unexpected direction:

  • What do you do when you're in a bad mood?
  • Have you ever been a bully?
  • Would you like to change your first or last name?
  • Do you have any quirks?
  • If you worked in a circus, what animal would be your partner?
  • If the apocalypse came, how would you survive?
  • Would you like to live in a virtual world?
  • What cartoon did you like as a child?
  • What actions would you be ashamed to tell your children about?
  • What couldn't you do even for a lot of money?

Just ask these questions instead of “Hi, how are you?” and look at the result.

Purpose of correspondence

Before I tell you what to write to a girl you like, I'll ask a question to make sure we're thinking in the same direction.

How do you want her to kiss you the next time you interact? Smiley face or real lips?

Obviously you want the latter. (I hope). Real communication is much more interesting and better than virtual communication.

The real purpose of texting is to meet, not to drag out conversations that go nowhere. Don't lose sight of the end goal.

Serious topics and questions to discuss with a girl

If you are planning a serious relationship, then conversations cannot be avoided. Therefore, sometimes you have to ask more complex questions, departing from a casual conversation:

  • What action would you not be able to forgive?
  • What qualities of a man are the most important to you?
  • What would you like to achieve in the next year?
  • Do you have a global goal for which you are ready to sacrifice relationships?
  • How do you feel about cheating?
  • Do you consider career or family most important?
  • Are you ready for a serious relationship?
  • How do you imagine your old age?
  • How important is material well-being to you?
  • Could you move to another city or country for the sake of a relationship?

Funny and cheerful topics for informal communication

Here's what will help defuse the situation:

  1. Do you prefer the Marvel or DC universe?
  2. When you drink tequila, do you lick the salt first and then the lime, or vice versa?
  3. Have you ever seen little pigeons?
  4. Do you have a nickname?
  5. What crazy thing could we do right now?
  6. Have you watched Game of Thrones?
  7. Which Harry Potter spell is your favorite?
  8. What do grandmothers say about you at the entrance?
  9. If you were making a trailer for your life, what would you include in it?
  10. Would you like to get an education at the University of Hamburgerology? And there is one!

Topics that will help you get to know a girl better

If you don’t know each other well yet, then you should talk to the girl about topics that will help you get to know her better. The interlocutor will also ask you questions, and you will be able to tell her more about yourself.

Life values

  • Do you make decisions with your head or your heart?
  • Is it more important for you to be happy or successful?
  • Are you engaged in self-knowledge?
  • Do you have any weaknesses?
  • Could you live for some time without conveniences and means of communication?
  • Do you know how to forgive or ask for forgiveness?
  • What principles do you adhere to in life?
  • How do you feel about children?
  • Do you regret anything in your life?
  • If you could go back in time, where would you go?

What qualities do you like most in people?

  • Could you communicate with a cowardly person?
  • Do you consider commercialism an advantage or a disadvantage?
  • Do you believe in friendship between a woman and a man?
  • How important is a person's appearance to you?
  • Are you comfortable communicating with emotional people?
  • What causes you sharp rejection?
  • Which movie or book character is your favorite?
  • If you went to Hogwarts, what house would it be?
  • What attracts you to other people?
  • What do you pay attention to when meeting people?

Motivation

  • What inspires you to new achievements?
  • What would you tell your 15-year-old self?
  • If you run out of energy, what do you do to restore it?
  • Do you have an idol?
  • Are you serious about education?
  • How do you start your day?
  • What is your life motto?
  • Do you have moments of devastation and apathy?
  • Do you like to learn new things?
  • What do you think is the secret of success?

What does he dream about?

  • Do you dream of true love?
  • What dream of yours never came true?
  • Do you have ridiculous or strange dreams?
  • What would you like to do in the future?
  • What do you like to imagine before bed?
  • What did you want to become when you were little?
  • Have you ever imagined yourself as a model or actress?
  • Which celebrity would you like to have dinner with?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What fictional world would you like to go to?

What should you tell her7

To have an interesting conversation, a guy must also take an active part. There is no need to indulge in personal memories and tell how you and your friends hung out for a few days during your vacation. Better talk about her yourself. The girl will definitely like it.

  • Tell me what attracted you to her when you first met.
  • What causes your admiration and surprise in her.
  • What qualities do you like about her?

The girl will bloom with pleasure like a May rose.

Then you can move on to the second point:

  • Discuss the next meeting.
  • Offer to go for a walk together.
  • Talk about leisure activities this coming weekend.

How to choose a topic for conversation depending on the situation

On first dates with a girl, the main thing is to find common topics in order to understand how comfortable you are together. Therefore, pay attention to what mood your interlocutor is in, what she looks like, and how she behaves. Even if you see that the girl is not in a good mood, do not rush to quit. If she didn’t want to see you, she simply wouldn’t come, so it’s in your power to correct the situation. The best way to cheer up a girl is humor and compliments. Try to unobtrusively defuse the situation and do not be persistent in your desire to find out what happened.

Compliments

I highlighted it as a separate point specifically to attract attention. In general, compliments are a rather subtle and deep thing. It may look like a simple phrase, but the girl will rejoice over it.

Try to include them in your speech more often. But not directly, but indirectly, for example:

“You surprised me just now,” “Did you REALLY do that?” “Will you ever show this to me?”, “Damn, you are so (beautiful, kind, attentive...).”

“I like the way you reason. So wise and thoughtful,” “I’ve never seen anyone make friends so easily. You're so sweet and friendly."

They seemed to praise, were surprised, admired, but without all those cloying “You’re smart!”

Maybe,

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